Alternatively, a new flag is raised
by Kurosu No.19
Summary: Miura Yumiko decided to take actions for her own love, but if there is one thing we know about the rom-com god is that he doesn't like to play it straight. [HikioxMiura]. And then some other stuff happened.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Miura Yumiko's plan is wrong as I expected.**

It is me, Hikigaya Hachiman, bewildered in an empty hallway. Well, it's not actually empty, as I am standing with another person, a rather peculiar person for me to be alone with nonetheless. Her eyes pierce right into my face, a fiery look that absolutely contrasts with her glossy green eyes. That's right; in front of me is no other than Ms. Popularity, Miura Yumiko the Fire Queen.

"Hey, do you like Yukinoshita?" her voice is as sharp as a razor.

"Eh?!"

…

Club meeting was held today like usual with just the three of us. Yukinoshita made tea, I continued with my light novel while Yuigahama was trying to chat things up. Not every day there was people barging into our doors; maybe it was for the best, at least I could enjoy my time in peace.

But that day was not today.

The noise of the door crank drew my attention, as I quickly caught a glance a pair of white thighs exposed by a skirt that was definitely violating school regulations. It wasn't that I was some kind of pervert, it was just in my face and I was just stating the facts.

Either way, the figure who just stalked into the room was other than Miura Yumiko. It wasn't the first time she came to this club room, but this was the third time already. Had she already became one of our regular customers?

"Yahallo Yumiko!" Yuigahama quickly gave a cheerful greeting.

"Hey Yui." Surprisingly the Fire Queen only gave her subject a short half-hearted welcome. She seemed to be focusing on something else.

Meanwhile, Yukinoshita was still nonchalantly sipping her tea.

With her arm crossed, she surveyed the room like a lioness stalking her prey. Suddenly, her head turned directly to me.

"Hikio, got a moment?" it's like she gave an order.

"Yeah." I gave a half-ass response.

"I need to talk to you," her eyes darted to Yukinoshita, "alone."

Wait, what?

"Eh!" Yuigahama startled. "Yumiko, if there's anything that bothers you, talk to us, we can solve this together. I mean, three person thinks better than one, right?"

I wholeheartedly disagreed.

"Sorry Yui, but I just want to talk to Hikio."

Yuigahama was in shock, and so was I. Why would Miura have anything to do with a lowly peasant like me? What was this, some type of rom-com situation?

Yuigahama looked over to Yukinoshita, in hope that she would say something, but the girl with night-coloured hair just kept a silent, emotionless look.

"Fine by me," Yukinoshita said, "I don't know what you want to do with him, but despite our differences; I must warn you that you should be careful when you are around him alone."

"I don't need you to tell me that much." Miura smirked.

These women! Being opposite like fire and water like those two, they sure had a common interest of treating me like insects.

After a final and almost nonexistent glance at me, Miura Yumiko left the building.

…

And here we are again.

"Eh..eto…" I stutter, "I don't actually hate her, I guess."

"What kind of half-assed answer is that?! Do you like her or do you not?" Miura lashes at me.

"Kch!" I flinch. "And why should I tell you that? My interest is none of your concern."

"Normally that would be the truth, but this time it's different."

She just flat out admits that she doesn't care about me. Well it's not like I care about her anyway, maybe just a little bit.

"Look! If you really like her, you should go and get her, got it?"

"First of all," I put some weight into my tone and address her carefully, "Why do you care about me and Yukinoshita together?"

"Because-"

She looks away from me.

"Because if she is taken, Hayato will…"- Miura speaks with a weak, airy voice.

Oh, so that is what it is about.

Basically, right now it is no secret for me, Yuigahama and Miura that Yukinoshita and Hayama had a history together. The relationship between those two could have been deeper than any of us could have ever imagined; which means, at the moment, Yukinoshita is possibly the biggest obstacle in Miura's conquest of Hayama Hayato.

By having me going out with Yukinoshita, she can effectively get rid of that obstacle without resulting in more violent, bloodier method.

Note to self: lay off yandere shows and games, even though I do partly sympathize with their desire to kill everyone they can.

But as flawless as it sounds, there is a problem.

"Unfortunately, I can't help you with that."

"Why not?"

"First, do you think that I even have a chance with Yukinoshita?"

"That's true, but-." Miura mutters to herself.

It's not like I disagree with her, but her flat affirmation irritates me a little bit. You still haven't been able to dig your claws into Hayama either, you hag!

But back to the topic. Second, I can't go out with Yukinoshita just to separate her from Hayama, because if so I would be playing with her feeling. As bitter as I might be, I understand the boundary and the fragility of a person's emotion.

"But you like her right? So it's a win-win for both of us."

"I-I never say that I like her!" I stutter, my eyes avoid hers.

"Why not? I mean she's good looking, good at school, good cook.. good manners.. and all of that useless stuff," Eh Miura-san, don't you sound a little bit bitter while saying that?

"It's not as simple as that" I make a dull remark, almost like I'm just muttering to myself, "If the feeling of love and admiration can be rationalised through such simple features, there would be no pain and suffering because of love. Love, like the rest of humankind, is chaotic and irrational."

"Huh?"

"Never mind." I quickly dismiss myself.

"So you will do it?"

"No."

"But you are the Service Club! It's your duties to help other students with their request, isn't it?"

Hey missy we are the Service Club, not the Genie club, even though how nice it would be if we actually were.

"Like I already told you, there is no way Yukinoshita would agree to go out with me." No matter how you ask for it, the simple truth is still there, and it has nothing to do with me.

"Tch!"- Miura looks away, clenching her teeth.

She stays like that for a few seconds, her expression is mixed between frustration and deep thought.

"Fine!" Closing her eyes, Miura lets out a compensating sigh as she says.

Looks like she have given up.

"If that is your problem, I can help you with that."

"Huh?"

"Of course in this current state of yours, it's would still be impossible."

Huh.

"But let see if I can fix that rotten look of yours. Your chance would be better that way. It would be hard, but I can see it as a challenge."

Damn you woman. You and Yukinoshita are actually pretty much the same, aren't you? But wait, this is not about me dating Yukinoshita, it's about love and its emotional values, its unpredictable, chaotic nature.

"Huh?!" She raises her voice even higher and fils it with pure authority. "I already offer to help you already! You still got a problem with that?!"

Uwahh that's scary. It seems like the Queen has lost her patience.

At this point, it's pretty much confirmed that she will not back down. For now, I will just roll along with her scheme until I can come up with a way to get out of this.

I sighed to myself. "Fine then."

"Good." She extends her palm toward me.

"What?"

"Your mail and phone number, are you stupid?!"

"Oh yeah."

Yukinoshita's insult is like a winter rain, piercing and sinks deep into your skin. Miura's insult is like a summer fire, spontaneous and roasts you on the surface.

"Alright, I guess, see you Hikio."

Putting her phone away, she quickly turns and walks away. Her hair flutters as I scent a poppy fragrance sent straight into my nose.

You see, Miura-san, it's not that I am stupid. It's just that I cannot believe.

I stand there dumbfounded. My phone is still in my hand and the screen is still lit up. The name Miura Yumiko, that belongs to the Fire Queen, the top of the social food chain, shines brightly on my contact list.

I feel like hearing something crackling. Something Thou Art I and I Am Thou I don't know.

* * *

 **A/N: Hi guys, there doesn't seem to be enough Miura fanfiction I thought I'm making my own this time around. Hope you enjoys reading this.**

 **Also, this is the updated version, I fixed some grammars and make some slight adjustments.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: thank all of you for your helpful feedbacks! I will use this part to address some of your concerns.**

 **Some people like to have more descriptions, the reasons I do this is because I want to hurry through the beginning parts so that I can reach the good parts sooner. I will try to add more descriptions in the later chapters.**

 **About #nomorecomplacecenthachiman, it is a really good point. I will try to make this more prominent but I can't promise too much because if Hachiman is too rebellious, it would be hard to trigger some of the events I plan for.**

 **This is an updated version of chapter 2 where I fixed some grammars and rewrote a few naratives.**

* * *

 **Chapter 2: The date Hikigaya Hachiman only knows**

After that, I still received nothing from Miura, while her majesty herself continued her merry days like nothing happened, so normal that I wondered if that day was just a dream or no. No way Hachiman, when did you start expecting things to happen? Not that I cared anyway, if she didn't want to have anything to do with me, then it would be less work for me. Maybe she realised that her plan was feeble after all.

Ugh… what is this uncomfortable feeling? Let it go Hachiman, nothing has changed. You were just back to normal. I never gained anything to be upset in the first place.

Just forget.

The whole school week came to an end as right now is Saturday night. Being the loner that I am, I sure as hell don't have any plan or want any. I already spent five goddamn days being around people, so Saturday and Sunday have become my safe haven.

I use my time to play Persona 3.33 (1). Speaking of Persona, have you ever matched your real life acquaintances with an Arcana like in the game? I am obviously the Fool, while Komachi is Fortune because I am actually really lucky to have such a cute sister. Yukinoshita is undoubtedly Empress, while Yuigahama could be Strength. As much as I dislike Zaimokuza, he is my Magician. And Totsuka? Priest...ess? I not sure if that is allowed. Isshiki I haven't figure out her Arcana yet. Lovers seems to be her only choice.

Miura?

I'm not even that familiar with her to give her an Arcana, but if I have too, Empress would be my first choice, but Yukinoshita is already Empress, so I will go with second choice Chariot. She has that feisty attitude in her.

It's already 2 in the morning and I am ready to go to bed. But as my thought wonders, maybe I should do a quick check up with her. Nevertheless, it is my work after all.

But then again I have never been on the same boat as her. If she wants to bail then it's none of my concern.

I am staring at my phone screen with the name Miura Yumiko lit brightly.

Yeah, right.

I'm a loner. That's not how loners do.

As I'm about to toss my phone aside, it suddenly vibrates.

I just get a message.

Miura: [U r hopeless]

What is that supposed to mean?

Miura: [U said u r going to help me right? But then u just stay silent for the whole week!]

[Usually it's the inquirer who make the first call, at least that is how we do in the club]

Miura: [I don't have time to call u]

Miura: [Plus it's a test to see how committed u r and how good u r]

[What do you mean?]

Miura: [Look the first step of getting a girl is asking her out]

Miura: [If u can't do that then u r hopeless]

What a load of crap.

[You want me to ask you out?]

Miura: [GROSS! How could you even think like that?]

What the hell, woman?

[So what is it?]

Miura: [Why don't u ask urself that?]

I stare at the screen for another while. It's another test. I have somewhat figure out an answer, but the question now is whether I should say it or not. Also how unstylish of me to say such thing? Besides, I'm supposed to be against this plan.

[Whatever. Wanna go to the mall tomorrow?]

I don't even know myself at this point.

Miura: [I'll pass, thank you]

What The Hell, woman?

Miura: [If you just want to ask me out, the answer is no. But since it has a higher purpose, I'll accept this time. It's not a date ok? There is no chance between us]

Heh… After being rejected so many times, mostly from a certain devious junior, I have become immune to rejection. You can say it has become one of my Hachiman abilities.

[I'll take it into my heart]

Miura: [Not sure if you really get it but whatever]

Do you actually think that I am stupid?

Miura: [So what time?]

[Let's meet at noon]

She takes longer to respond this time.

Miura: [I guess noon is fine. Just wait at the front gate ok?]

[Sure]

Miura: [Yeah, I guess, see you tomorrow Hikio]

[See ya]

By the way, what is the deal with Hikio? Why Hikio? She could just borrow Yuihagama's Hikki, or even Hikitani like the rest of Hayama's clique. Actually, for god's sake, I just want people to call my name correctly. Is that too much to ask?

I'm kind of sleepy so I'll toss it aside for now.

...

It's late in the morning and I'm getting ready for my date with Miura. Heh, sound pretty wicked isn't it? But alas, it's not in the slightest. My only day off is gone! Gone, gone, gone! I don't want to spend my free day with that wicked woman. I mean she's pretty and all, but my cynical eyes are capable of piercing through any fake exterior, and makeup also.

Regardless, I dress nicer than normal today, at least I don't want to make her feel mortified for walking with me.

"EH?! Onii-chan going out?! Is this actually happening? Is today Opposite Day?" Komachi is being squeaky in the morning as usual as I come across her in the living room.

I know, my dear sister. I cannot believe it myself either.

"Is it a date?" Her eyes shine brightly.

"You have too much hope in your Onii-chan, Komachi."

"Well, I guess you're right on that one. But it's unusual for you to go out on Sunday."

"I just have some business to take care of."

"What kind of business?"

"Club business."

"Heh? Are you going to see Yui-san, or Yukinon-san, or both?"

"Not really."

"Is that so?"

"You can say it's independent research."

"Well whatever. Have fun!"

"Yeah yeah."

"And you know, I don't think I have too much hope for you. I'm sure that when people come to know you, they will like you more. Kyaa! I just scored a bunch of Komachi point!"

"Well, see ya."

"Bye bye!"- Komachi screeches cheerfully as I walk through the door.

…

I went to the mall fifteen minutes early because she told me to "wait" at the front door, which means I supposed to to be there before her. Maybe I just read into the line too much.

I lean my back against a wall, letting my mind wonder about the mysteries of space and time.

"Hikio."

I turn my head to see my alleged "date", but I can barely recognise her. She wears blue jeans, a long blazer, a giant sun hat and sunglasses. You can tell that she is trying her hardest to conceal her identity.

But honestly, isn't it a little hurtful Miura-san?

"What's with that face? Look, I just don't want someone I know looking at us and having the wrong idea ok?"

"I understand that much."

"Besides what the hell was that?! I know it's not a date but at least put some effort."

"Effort in what?"

"Your clothes obviously."

I grind my teeth internally.

"Look. I know it's not a date, but for now, you have to act like you are on a date, so that I can know what's wrong with it."

"..."

"Well, I'm kind of expecting it in the first place," she sighs, "but that's what today is for."

"What do you mean?"

"I will look for some clothes for you."

No, thank you.

"You said you gonna help right? What, swallow your words already?

"..."

I stayed silent, but I know that my eyes must have the word 'objection' filling to the brim. But at last, I let out a contemplating smile.

So I spend most of my times follow the big sun hat around 3 metres behind, while its owner is silently checking the items in the male section and a few times in the female section, and at times throws a couple of glances at me. At some points, she also checks her phone a couple of times.

"Try these," She throws a pile of clothes on my arms, "make sure you come out every time you put on a set."

I really, do not want to be some sort of model at all, but so far I still haven't had any escape plan so guess there is no other choice.

She almost never happy with any choices, and some choices even make her cringe. Come one, I am not that bad looking, aren't I?

"It's hard to come up with outfits to match your hairstyle you know, and especially your dead fish eyes."

We spend a couple more minutes looking for more clothes. When is this going to end? This is not fun, I just want to be at home, reading light novels and play video games.

"Hikio." I drag myself to her again. "Take this."

As I take the clothes off her, my mind is already full of resolve. My escape plan has already formed. There is no step-by-step, but the underlying principle is simple. So far, I have learned that once Miura sets her eyes on something, she will do everything in her power to get it, be it words, or social connection, or her beauty alone. She has already set on this plan, not knowing how utterly futile it actually is. It's true that myself alone won't be able to reject her; but if, if I'm able to make her reject me...

Here I come, Fire Queen, I'll show my dirtiest side, I'll show you how gross and repulsive I can be.

"At least call my name you know."

"Huh? I just like said your name two seconds ago."

"That's not my name."

"Whatever. It's just a name you know."

All according to keikaku (2).

"So you're saying that I can call you a different name, right? How about I call you Miuro…" no way that's bad. "…or Miu." Much better.

"Heh!"

Miura screeches and quickly turns toward me, her cheeks blushed lightly. But alas, the moment lasts about half a second until her eyebrows slope upward, her teeth grind against each other, and her fist jabs at me on my side.

"Ugh!" I cry out silently because this is a public place. That is not a playful punch! That is an actual punch! With full intention of hurting its target.

"Don't ever call me that again!"

"Then don't call me that either!" I squeeze out those words as the pain is still lingering.

"Why do you even care now?!" she sulks, "like, you are even fine with Hikki and Hikitani right?

I'm stoned. I've never thought that she knows that. Now I'm kind of embarrassed myself.

"What?!"

"Nothing. I'm just surprised that you know my name is not actually Hikitani."

"I- like, not as stupid as Tobe you know." Her cheeks blushed slightly this time around.

"I see."

"Either way, go change."

I contemplate as I walk back to the change room.

Few minutes passes

"I guess this should do for now. We still got a lot to do. I will work on your hair next time."

It's between late noon and evening when Miura finishes her shopping spree. We are just outside of the main gate, where the sun is still blazing through the street. Despite being a loner that I am, I do acknowledge that it is pretty much the perfect weather; so good in fact that if some couple decides to go out on a first date today, the date would go so well that they would end up in a relationship shortly after. Yeah, like that gonna happen.

"I'm kinda hungry, but it's still too early for dinner," Miura mutters absentmindedly while caressing her hair. I have been smelling that poppy shampoo fragrance all afternoon. It is.. not that bad you know.

"I want to go home." I give a half ass response. I already know what she wants, but I must stick with the plan. Come on, Miura, be digusted at my obliviousness.

"Are you stupid?!" She screeches

That's exactly it.

"Try again!"

"Eh.." I let out a small sigh, "Let's go for a snack."

Miura once again has a disgusted look on her face.

"What?"

"I still not very used to being asked out by you. But fine, let's."

"Where do you want to go?"

"Anywhere is fine I guess."

Bullshit! When girls say 'Anywhere is fine' they don't even mean that in the slightest. What they actually mean is 'I have a place I want but I'm not gonna tell you, guess it yourself.'

"Saize." I blurt out.

"ARE YOU STUPID?!" I can sense the fire through her sunglasses.

"Fine, fine," I'm a bit taken aback. "Let's go to a coffee shop."

"Hm! I guess you are not that dense after all."

I guess you are more persistent than I thought.

Unbeknownst to you Miura-san, I actually have received Date 101 from a certain devious junior, and I know exactly one and only one cafe that may impress you. Luckily, the mall we chose is also in walking distance of that cafe.

This time, I lead ahead of her, but still keeping the three metres distance. It takes us about fifteen minutes to get there.

We arrive at the coffee shop, and Miura seems to be impressed mixed with surprised. Her glossy pink lips slightly open as she attentively scans the green-themed surroundings.

We get a seat next to a window facing the streets, the pleasant sunlight treads on the glossy wooden table, and bossa music is playing lightly in the background. Perfect seat I suppose.

I order a latte with double honey and a slice of cheesecake while Miura orders a macchiato and a slice of brownie with a strawberry on top. All is going good and well, this is much better than dragging my ass through the crowded mall and play dress up.

"How can you even know a place like this?" Miura asks.

"I'm not as shut in as you think I am." Actually I'm just as shut in as you think I am.

"I suppose."

After that, we just drink coffee in silence. I'm just enjoying the coffee, the music, and the atmosphere, looking out the window while Miura is also enjoying the view and her coffee, and occasionally her phone. Is it normal to not talk while drinking together like this? Obviously not. Things are getting pretty awkward.

"Hey." She calls.

I just turn my gaze toward her.

"Did Yui tell you about that?"

"About what?"

"My childhood nickname."

"You mean Miu? No, it just came across my mind. I just thought it sounds cute." It seems like I'm getting a hang of guessing other people's nicknames, it's usually Yukinoshita's talent though.

"Gross."

That's right Miura-san, stay away from me.

"Just saying."

"It also just came across my mind for me too you know." She rests her chin on her palms, her eyes gaze back to the window.

"What came across your mind?"

"Hikio."

"Oh."

"I thought it sounds nice too. Much better than Hikki."

"So you don't have any malice thought in that nickname?" Uhm, maybe the Fire Queen is not as thorny as I think she is. She could be a nice person after all.

"What? You want me to call you Hikimo(3)?

"No thank you." By the way, how do you even know my seventh-grade nickname?

And time keeps passing by.

The sun is just glooming near the horizon and the sky is starting to turn yellow. I suppose this is the time to go home. I paid the bill because why the hell not.

We arrive at the station and plan to split off here.

"I guess your not all bad," Miura says.

"I guess you're not all bad either."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm really enjoying our date together." I blurt out absentmindedly.

"That's really gross you know that."

I know that full well my queen.

"Remember, I'm just preparing you for Yukinoshita."

"So do I, you can say that line is for Yukinoshita."

"I suppose it can be. But even so, that line is still, like, super cheesy. Change it immediately."

Whatever you say, Your Highness.

"Hm!"

Maybe this is just a side product but I'm really enjoying setting her off at the moment. There is something amusing in seeing the Queen loses her cool.

Miura takes off her sunglasses.

"It's stupid to wear sunglasses at this hour."

"I guess you're right." I'm surprised. It's like she is one of the few people who actually knows what sunglasses are for.

"Okay then." She averts her eye contact. "See you around…"

"See-"

"… Hik-Hikigaya-kun."

"…."

"…"

"Hikio is fine." It's actually pretty weird for me hear that, too; so that is enough for me. At least another person acknowledges my name.

"Idiot."

"See you too, Miu."

She punches me again. It's still an actual punch, but with less intensity. For some reasons, this time, it reminds me of something happened a long time ago.

"Every time you call me Miu, I'm going to punch you."

"Every time you call me Hikio, I'm going to call you Miu."

"Hikimo!" She grunts at me.

With her final word, she turns away and stomps through the street, not leaving a chance for a comeback. Unfortunately, her stomping has to stop at the red light.

Her face kind of turns sideway, I'm not even sure if she is looking at me or not, and her poppy fragrance is still lingering through my nostrils.

"That too," I mutter to myself.

In the end, the date went quite ok. I'm actually hoping for a more disastrous outcome, or am I?

Home.

After closing the front door, my knees fall onto the floor. I cannot believe myself.

That was my whole month allowance!

* * *

 **(1) Persona 3 is RPG mixed with dating sims elements. You can form Social Links with characters inside the game, the stronger the Social Links, the more benefits you get to your dungeon crawling gameplay. Each Social Link is associated with a major Arcana in the Tarot deck, the character of an Arcana usually has the characteristic of that Arcana. It's great fun trying to applied the Arcana system to other shows other than Persona.**

 **(2) Translator's note: keikaku means plan**

 **(3) Kimo is a Japanese slang short for Kimochi warui (disgusting, gross). Miura combines Hikio and Kimo into Hikimo.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for the long wait. I went travel a bit, with no laptop so it quite inconvenient for me to keep uploading.**

 **Big thanks to rohashiki for being my proofreader for this chapter. Please check him out.**

 **This is an updated version where I change the narrative a bit.**

* * *

 **Chapter 3.33: Hikigaya Hachiman can (not) advance.**

Dinner time. My parents were busy working so there were just me and Komachi eating tonight. She cooked by the way.

"Komachi, can you lend me some money?"

She just looks at me with disappointing eyes.

"Onii-chan I know you're pathetic and all, but asking your little sister for money has got to be a new low."

"Oh you will never know how low your Onii-chan can get. This is as shallow as a puddle of water for me."

"Oh no! Is this what has become of you Onii-chan?! This isn't how I raised you at all!" She screeches loudly with her fake overdramatic voice.

"I have my own life you know."

"But seriously." Her voice falls flat. "You burn all of your allowances already? This isn't like you at all."

"A few things get out of hand you can say."

"Hmmm? How suspicious?"

"There is a first for everything you know."

"Look, Onii-chan, if you're gonna keep it from me like last time, I won't help you out anymore when you get into deep trouble."

"Look, it's nothing."

"Did you get mugged?"

"Are you stupid?"

"You've been weird today. First you went out today, then you start asking me for money! What did you buy today?

"That's a little personal don't you think?" Even though I just bought some clothes, I think that would even weird out my sister even more.

"I'm your sister!"

"That's exactly why I cannot tell you, you are too young for this stuff." That is when I realised that I have dug myself too deep into this hole.

"Onii-chan…" She looks at me with worried eyes.

"Yes, dear sister?"

"I know you may feel lonely at times, but that is not the best way to go about it."

"I know that." At this point, I just reluctantly agree so that I can get through this.

"Promise me that's just a phase, okay?"

"Yes, I promise."

"You know you are hopeless, Onii-chan. At this pace, I feel like I'll still need to take care of you even when you go to college." She pouts. "Aha, I just scored some points right there."

Actually, let's go further than that. Stay with me forever Komachi! We don't even have to get married; marriage is overrated anyway.

"What about my money?"

"Look Onii-chan, it's just weird to ask you little sis for money ok? If you really want money, you should get a part-time job."

"Heh. It's like you don't know me at all. Me? A job? No way," I scoff at the idea.

"I know you well enough already, and that is exactly why I tell you to do it. Maybe it will fix that rotten personality of yours."

"Even if I want to, jobs for high school students are mostly waiter or cashier jobs, which mean interacting with people, which means they would never hire me."

"Not all jobs you know. I guess it's still overwhelming for you to try those types of jobs, but I'm sure there are quite a few jobs out there that you can do."

"Sounds like a pain to me."

"Well, I'm not giving you my allowance."

"That's cruel."

"Just give it some thought, okay?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"You promised. I'm sure you're not the type of guy that would break a promise you made to your little sister, are you?"

"I'd rather die," Oh, why do you have to play that card?

"I thought so." She smiles.

Later into the night, I open up my computer searched "jobs not interact people high school students". I skim through the results. Groceries stacker, freight carrier? Too much work. Blogger ? Interesting but I don't have anything to write and seems unstable. Library? Hmm… I don't know about that.

...

Monday. Morning. School.

I'm here sitting in my corner, feeling bored. So I once again turn my gaze at Hayama's clique. I do admit that I have been looking at them as a source of entertainment, even Yuigahama made a remark about that. Maybe I was just passively learning the way of social conduct, who knows. But regardless, it's a fun thing to do in the boring class and only Yuihagama notices it so it's fine for me.

I notice it again. I'd be lying if I said I'm not paying attention to Miura Yumiko more than usual. It's natural, right? After all, she is my newest case. Ah, about that, I still need to find a way to get out of this. I cannot afford to follow her schemes, doing all this so that she can get her sweetheart. I'm even thinking about getting a job.

The sun is nice and shining through the windows, making her golden locks give off an even stronger radiance. Despite being so far away, I still scent the phantom trail of her poppy fragrance. Maybe I've just gotten too used to it.

Ultimately she just wants to win over Hayama, so if I can present a better plan, she will undoubtedly follow.

At this point, I'm practically worthless. My love experience is next to non-existent. In fact, it is outright non-existent; I'm in no position to give out love advice to someone.

Miura, she can easily grab any guy she wants but unfortunately, her target happens to be Hayama. Not because he is out of her league, but because he is Hayama, he who has his mask thicker than ten meters of concrete and an unknown infatuation to Yukinoshita.

Spring is coming and flora is experiencing a rebirth. New leaves are arriving, sporting their freshly green color, full of life, full of vibrancy like the color of her eyes.

Miura is into Hayama, that's for sure, but does Hayama feel the same way? Just a little bit? Not even a slightest? For all I know she has been a very convenient shield blocking other girls for him, but does he see her as more than that? Or does he actually just use her only for that interest? If so then damn that bastard, that's no way to play with someone's heart. I have had that happen to me before.

It's still very early spring yet a few cherry blossoms have started to bloom as if they are rushing for something far way. They try to catch it, maybe not knowing that they could never get it. Those pink petals ripped through the wind, as pink as the colour of her lips.

This is hopeless. The more I think, the more there are questions than answers. Ask me anything else, but when it comes to love problems, I'm completely screwed.

The queen is still there, minding her own business without a care in the world. Nearly none of her satellite seems to realize that there's something bothering her, or is it just me and my delusions?

For now, I still need to continue this game.

Midday. School Faculty Office

"Well isn't this very unusual of you," Hiratsuka-sensei says while puffing on her cigarette.

"You can say I'm trying to improve myself," I reluctantly squeeze out the words.

"What about that 'change is just a form of running way' crap?"

I still stand by that sentence very much, thank you. By the way Sensei, that's not really how you should talk to your students, you know that right?

"Aren't you happy that your student is moving forward to the right direction?"

"Oh I'm happy, it's just quite surprising for me. You're a pretty stubborn kid you know, but suddenly you want to take such a big step."

"It's not a big step, I just want you to help me out for a job in the library."

"Oh it's big step for you alright. What about the 'to work is to lose' philosophy?" She says with a big smug on her face.

And I still stand by that sentence thank you very much. By the way, do you really think this is the appropriate manners to talk to your students? I mean I believe that you are supposed to be supportive and stuff, not sarcastic and stuff right?

"I punched you before. Do you think I care about the rules?

"Oh, yeah."

"Just be glad that you get to receive special treatments from such a lovely teacher like myself." Sensei closes her eyes and basked in her own narcissism.

"So lovely in fact she can't even get marri- Oh FU-#$ %?!"

I see Death flash before my very eyes. So this is the feeling of every soldier on a battlefield. Surely I deserve some sort of PTSD certificate after this right?

"You seem to like playing with fire, Hikigaya? Not just any regular fire, but Radioactive inFERno Fire!" Uhm I will be glad if you sound less like a demon Hiratsuka-sensei.

"My bad-"

"I actually got some leads you know! But for some reasons, no one ever texts back after I texted them! What a bunch of douchenozzles!"

Do you want me to marry you, is that what it is?! I would love to Sensei but I have to stay faithful to Komachi, and Totsuka, mostly Komachi though.

"E-hem! I guess in a way I can try to contact the school library, but if it's not possible I do have some lead outside if you're interested."

"That's fine by me."

"Good! I'm actually glad that you are taking some direction. Better late than never you know."

"I see it from your point of view." I give her a half-assed smile.

"Hikigaya…" She grunts.

"I mean you are absolutely right."

"Watch your mouth Hikigaya, remember I'm doing you a favor."

"Thank you." I give a flat response.

"No problo."

...

Wednesday. After class. Clubroom.

"Looks like no one is coming today eh?" Yuigahama says.

"Good." I say.

"Say, Hikki, the other day Yumiko came to talk to you. What did you guys talk about?"

"If I could tell you guys she wouldn't have met me in private in the first place."

"Well you don't have to tell us everything! You know, just some hints are okay!" She laughs awkwardly. Is this how gossip starts?

"Well, basically, she just asked me out." I give a flat reply.

"Eh? HEEEEH?!"

"Yui-san. Do you actually believe him?" Yukinoshita speaks up.

"What? It could happen you know?"

"Objectively it is impossible; and based on the fact that you just said 'It could happen' it definitely did not happen."

As sharp as ever, Yukinoshita-san.

"So it's not true, Hikki?"

"Of course it is."

"It obviously is not!" Yuigahama pouts.

"You can choose to believe it or not, but what has happened still happened."

Thursday. Afternoon. School Faculty Office

"So the school library doesn't need any people right now but luckily for you, I happen to have some connection with the library near the shopping district, you free after class?"

"That soon?"

"Of course you are! Come meet me after class, I'll give you a ride right there, I can squeeze you right in for a part-time job."

"Is everything really that convenient? Are you sure you're not doing anything shady?" This is kind of fast for me to comprehend.

"What? You got a problem with that? I thought you are the one that asked me for this."

"Well I just didn't think it will be this easy." Or even work at all. I just did this so that I could report back to Komachi that I tried.

"Like I said, you are in luck!" Sensei pats me on the shoulder.

"Is this really happening?"

"Hikigaya, I went through a lot of efforts into looking a job for you, you wouldn't want my efforts to go out in vain right?" Ow ow ow, ow, ow. Sensei you are crushing my shoulder.

"Of course not." I give her a deformed smile as I'm trying to suppress the pain.

"So see you after class?"

"Ok."

After class. Hiratsuka-sensei's car.

[I'm going to be late tonight so you can eat without me]

Komachi: [What for?]

[Im havin a job interview]

Komachi: [OMGG!]

Komachi: [No way, you must be lying!]

[Oh trust me I wish I was lying]

Komachi: [Which job?!]

[I'll tell you later. I have to get ready]

Komachi: [OK! Good luck Onii-chan! Dai sukii~ (I love you) Kyaa I just score a lot of Komachi point~ :D]

[Stupid]

At the library.

"Are you able to work 5pm to 10pm, three shifts a week?" Asked an old lady, I think her name is Hata, sitting in front of me.

"Yes."

"What makes you think you are good for this job?"

"Reading is one of my passions and I really like the peaceful atmosphere of a library." True. "I am also organized and have high attention to details." Partly true. "I'm looking forward to improving myself and get myself ahead in learning about the virtue of work." Now that's just Hiratsuka talking. "I'm actually in a club at my school called the Service Club and we have worked together to solve numerous students' concerns." It's not as glorious as you think. "Personality-wise, I'm pretty laid back and I can deal with high amount of pressure." I hate interviews so much, there is nothing genuine about it. I just want the money.

"Great. Alright, you're hired Hikigara-san."

"It's Hikigaya."

"Oops, I'm sorry. Old woman can't even read straight sometimes."

"It's alright, most people gets it wrong the first time." And also the sixteenth time.

"Let's get you through a day work shall we?"

I'm basically working as a front desk agent. We went through the computer system, how to register member cards, how to sign in or sign out borrowed books. This library also sells books so we went through the cash handling procedures and how to use a cash machine. I was basically in a mix of shadowing the lady and have some hands on experience myself. Despite not being the people person myself, Hata-san was exceptionally nice.

"If you have any questions about how to do things during work, just use the phone and ask Sato-san."

"Got it."

It's 10pm and already I am finally let off. It's not too bad, the job is pretty easy going but I could do without it. Either way, the deed has already been done. I guess I just need to stock up my money again and use exam seasons to finally get out of here. That should do it.

Late night. Hikigaya Residence.

"Tadaima (I'm home)." I exclaim half-heartedly as I closed the door.

"Okaeri! (Welcome back)" I hear the usual squeaky voice.

"Okaeri, Hat-chan." A sweet motherly voice comes along.

My sister and my mom are still the living room. It's 11 o'clock already, but both of them are looking at me with eager eyes. So much pressure.

"So, how's it going?"

"Yeah I got the job."

"Yehh!" She springs off the couch with hands in the air.

"Congratulation Hat-chan!"

"Well…" I scratch my head. I'm not particularly very excited, but it's nice to see my family being so joyful.

"What's the job?"

"Front desk agent in the library near the shopping district."

"Wow. How can you even get a job like that?"

"I have connections, plus a little bit of luck."

"I don't even recall you are the type of person who has connections."

"That's absurd. I have lots of connections."

"Yeah right. Well, whatever. I'm just glad that you finally found a job. Is it because of me?"

"Well, obviously."

"Kyaa~" Komachi holds her cheeks with both hands. "I didn't even believe it would work at all, but it did. My Komachi points just skyrocketed~"

"Are you hungry, Hat-chan? I have some leftovers for you." My mom says.

I already ate before work but it has been a long time since then.

"It's in the fridge. Help yourself out and tell us everything about your new job."

What happens next feel no less like an interrogation. Why do they care so much about this? It's just a goddamn part-time job. Regardless, I spent my time juggling between swallowing my food and feeding their curiosity.

It is now close to 12 and I'm finally able to excuse myself off to my room. Both of you know that I still have school tomorrow right?

...

Friday. Early morning. Hikigaya Residence.

"Onii-chan. Onii-chan!"

My deep slumber was interrupted by a certain squeaky voice. What's this rom-com-ish situation right here?

"What are you doing?"

"It's morning. I'm waking you up."

I turn my back to her.

"You never wake me up ever."

"That's not true. I wake you up a few times already."

"Yeah, but only when I overslept. My alarm doesn't even ring yet."

'Mou, I just thought I would do something nice for you since you always go through such efforts for me. You should be more thankful to have such a cute sister like me waking you up."

"Have you ever had your favourite song set as alarm bell? I did, and I hate that song now."

"You shouldn't compare your sister to a song you know?"

"I don't know."

"Mou… Just wake up. I also cooked breakfast."

Komachi clings to my body and start shaking violently, at least from my point of view (the Jedis are evil). I have no other choice but finally get up. What an annoying little sister.

Another school day, and after that, another work day, such is life. I will have three days of training. Counting yesterday, today is my second and my last is on Saturday. Club is on Wednesday and Saturday. My regular day shifts will be Monday, Friday and Saturday. Haizz, good bye my Saturday night.

Evening. Home.

Tests are coming.

Damn it.

At least, this time it's a subject I'm good at: Japanese; but then again, I'm also pressured to get high marks because it is the subject I'm good at. And then there is this work business that I have to attend to, such is life.

I wonder what's going on with Miura. After our date, I haven't heard a word from her yet. I guess when her business is done, she just doesn't feel the need to communicate anymore. Well, not like I care. Actually, I do, Komachi was the one who pushed me. But she was the reason for all of this, and now I have this.. Job! At least be responsible. I definitely would need some goddamn compensation for this.

I wonder if she had any plan this week, and even if she has plans, apparently I have to be the one who asks. Girls are such weird creatures, I tell you what. But nevertheless, if she has plan, I want to know, so I guess I'll ask her.

But right now is close to 2 am. I'm a night owl so this is usual for me, I don't think Miura will be the same. Then again last time she texted me it was 2 am, but then again it was Saturday.

Ugh, this is so stupid. I put too much energy into this, better just go to sleep.

...

Saturday. Late night. Hikigaya Residence.

I continued my week like usual, finally passed through my final training shifts today. It is roughly 11:30, I still have a few hours to myself to wind down.

But once again I suddenly think about Miura. It's Saturday night already so if she has any plan she will contact me sooner or later. The anxiety from waiting is killing me. I might as well ask her first.

[Oi]

Miura: [Hikio]

[Miyu]

Miura: [G*R*O*S*S]

[I want another hot date with you]

How is this for being extremely repulsive?

Miura: [Gross! No way! Dumbass!]

[Why not?]

Although satisfied with the result, my curiosity gets the better of me.

Miura: [First, it's gross! Second, I really can't go tomorrow! I hav a group study session because test is coming]

[I see]

It is fine, Miura-san. You don't have to make up an excuse for someone like me.

Miura: [But it's nice to see u finally start asking this time around. Ur getting better, still gross, but better]

Do you really have to repeat that over and over again?

[Real encouraging]


	4. Chapter 4

**Updated some cannon plot holes, so if you see the reviews mention them but can't find them, it means they have been fixed.**

* * *

 **Chapter 4: Is it wrong to pick up girls in the library?**

Monday. Evening. Public Library.

Library. Such an outdated concept. What year are we living at the moment? Ask anything student who has to write an essay with sources I guarantee that 98.6% of them will be using all online sources. Why needing to go to a library when you have virtually infinite information quite literally at the palm of your hand? But that is not to say library doesn't have its merits. I guess it is more of a familiar factor with old people; but for people like me, a library is just a good place to hang around and do your school works. It is the ambiance of a library that keeps this place still alive. All these books around: all decorations, no matter how much you detest it.

Here I am, at my first job on my own. It is rather pleasant actually, especially when there is no one watching my every move. The place is rather uneventful, no one has actually come to me to ask for anything. Ah this is the best. I actually bought a light novel with me so I can kill my time with it.

But then suddenly.

"Hikio?"

My gaze shots out of the pages and land on a pair of golden locks. No mistake about it.

"Miyu?"

Miura reaches over the desk and pinches my left ear, really hard.

"Ow."

"Like I said. I'm going to hit you if you call me like that?"

It was worth it.

"But that aside, can't believe I'm seeing you here, are working here or something?"

"Obviously, as you can see."

"Hoh? You never strike me as the type of person who would get a job, though."

I crack a bitter smile, you really do think that I'm some sort of NEET, don't you?

"I did this because of you, you know?"

"Huh? What do you mean by that?"

"I want to be a competent man to you."

"Eh?" Miura flashes a light blush. "Are you some kind of idiot or something?"

I sign.

"The expenditure we did the other day, happened to burn all of my allowances this month, so my family forced me to get a part-time job." I just decide to tell her the truth; I know this would make me look absolutely uncool but it's not like I am cool to her in to begin with.

"Heh?" Muira suddenly becomes awkward, scratching her chin with her index finger and trying to look away. "Well, if you had told me that in the first place, I could have shared some with you."

"No bother." Miura-san, are you actually a kind person? "I just want you to have a good time, Miyu."

"Wa… that's gross!" She becomes flustered again and pressed her knuckles against my forehead. I would be lying if I said I don't enjoy seeing her like this.

"But in a way, it's kind of good for you. You have a job so you are no longer a NEET now don't you think so?"

Ah, you said it. Besides, technically I was never a NEET to begin with, because I'm still in school you know, that's the "E" in Education.

"What about you? You don't seem like the studious type to me."

"I don't like this either." She sighs. "But test is coming so I have to find a time to study."

"I thought you have group study yesterday."

"Yeah, that didn't work out."

Heh.. is that so? What a surprise.

"I mean, we had fun, but there really was no study being done there."

"Still, you care about studies."

"At least I want to be passable at a commendable grade, or else I can't even look at Hayato."

Ah, it makes sense now.

"Anyway, I shouldn't keep you occupied, I'm going to study."

"Good luck."

"Sure."

Even though you said that you don't want to keep me occupied, there really is nothing to do here. As I'm fetching some photocopies, Sato-san strikes a conversation:

"Is that you your girlfriend, Hikigara-kun?"

"I wouldn't call her that." I make an awkward smile.

"Then you should, you guys seems pretty close."

"Does it look that way to you?"

"Of course."

"I don't know about that. We are just friends."

Even though I'm just trying to cover up, my own words take me aback. 'We are just friends', I don't think I even consider Miura and I as friends, do Yukinoshita and I even friends? She rejects my friends offers two times in a row, are we still actually friends? On the surface, to the eyes of others, we may act like we are friends, but is either of us considered ourselves to be friends? Is this friendship genuine if neither of us acknowledges it? What are friends to her, what are friends to me? What is Miura to me? Friend, acquaintance, partner in crime? She is just a person that happened to require my interest and happened to meet and talked, does it make us friends?

You care too much, Hachiman. It's probably nothing.

The sky goes dark and here I am finding leisure in my light novel, the night is surprisingly silent, not a bad start for a job. Suddenly, a familiar voice approaches me again.

"Hikio."

"Miyu."

"Go die in a fire!" She leans forward and presses her finger knuckles against my forehead again.

"Shh… please, this is a library." I say while massaging my forehead, try to look away from her.

Not that I care, but your poppy fragrance is kind of all over the place, and I see that you don't seem to mind letting your top buttons staying unbuttoned.

It's pink, again. You really like pink, huh, Miyu?

Realizes that she can't be loud, she delivers her disdain with the most glaring eyes I have ever seen. If looks could kill, I would certainly be dead.

"Anyway," Miura says, "are you busy at the moment?"

"Not really."

"That's great. I got stuck at this problem, just wondering if you know something about it,"

"It's Japanese, right? If that is the case it would be easy."

"Right here."

"Ah, you got the tense all wrong, and in this sentence, the proper Kanji should be this…"

I explained what I know of the problem to her.

"Ah, that makes sense now. Thanks, Hikio."

"No problem, Miyu."

Another knuckle to the forehead.

"Watch yourself."

She goes away again. Shortly after, she comes back with her school bags. Just as I think she is leaving, she promptly sits at a table closest to me. We exchange looks for a second, then she pulls out her phone and starts texting.

My phone vibrates.

Miura: [Ur not really busy right?]

[Not at all]

Miura: [I still have sum questions, is it ok if I ask u?]

[Sure thing]

Miura: [Thks]

[No prob]

We exchange looks again, this time she gave me a mischievous smile. What a troublesome girl.

If they are short questions she just shoots me a mail and sometimes with pictures, if they are long questions will come and talk to me. The system works surprisingly well, I'm able to appear working while helping her out at the same time; it's almost like we are in an actual study section together.

"Hikio, could it be that you are actually smart?"

"Of course I am."

"That's not how you respond to a compliment you know?"

Humility is just another form of self-gratification; it is just another way to blend in with the society so that you don't stand out. A loner like me needs no such thing.

"Huh?! What kind of logic is that? You really are rotten."

The real kind, of course.

And thus, the clock strikes at 10 and it's time to close down and go home. Surprisingly, even Miura is still here.

"I never thought that you would stay this late. You really do pay attention to your studies huh?"

"Yeah.." Muira awkwardly smiles, scratching her chin. "I wonder how much of that I actually spend studying."

Ah, it makes sense now. The seven deadly sins? No, procrastination is probably the worst sin that human ever commits. Just wonder, how far humanity can go if procrastination never exists? We would probably start colonising Venus at the moment.

"Anyway, thank you for your help, Hikio. This is much better than yesterday, I mean in terms of studying."

"Anything for you, Miyu."

This time, she goes back to ear pinching.

"Gross, gross, gross!"

I'm unable to say anything as I'm trying to soothe my ear.

"Hm! Goodbye!"

"Wait."

"Hm?

"It's getting late, I'll walk home with you."

Miura stares at me with eyes of almost bewilderment, but quickly averts her gaze.

"I guess it's fine."

"Just wait for me at the front gate."

"Ok."

And so as we are walking through the flickering light of the street,

"I guess you can be reliable at times, Hikio."

"I see."

"Uhm."

"What can I say, I'm in the Service Club. Helping people is kind of what I do."

"That's not really the case, isn't it? I don't really like the ways you do things."

I wonder how many people have told me the same thing before.

"They have a point. I mean look at what you made me do on the camping trip."

"What? You don't like it?"

"Of course not, idiot! And also what you did in the Cultural Festival, too."

"Well, sorry for that."

Miura sighs.

"Well, it doesn't matter now. What matters is what's ahead. Uhm, things seem to go in the right the direction right now."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you of course. Don't get me wrong, you are still very rotten, but at least you are getting better."

Jeez, thank for the compliment, Miura-san.

"Also you got a job, too. That could be a bonus point, and it may even fix that rotten personality of yours."

"Heh. My sister said the same thing."

"Sister? Oh yeah you mean the one at the camp."

"Yeah."

"Heh.. I have one, too."

"Tough luck." I scoff.

"I know, isn't it? Mo, litter sisters are such a pain!"

"I know, right?!" First time I ever agree on anything with her.

"They think you owe them something, they always expect you to do things for them."

"Couldn't agree more."

"They barge into you room and use your stuff like they're theirs."

"Totally."

"And sometimes they're like, freaking weird or something!"

"I can see that."

"Seriously, stop being so giddy and get off my back, I don't want your skinship!"

"Yeah, it's pretty annoying."

Suddenly Miura glares at me with a disgusted look.

"What?" I asked.

"I mean it's ok if it's between sisters, but don't tell me those things happen to you, too."

"Eh? Isn't it normal for all types of siblings?"

"Of course not! Kimo! (Gross)"

"I'm pretty sure it's normal." I'm desperately trying to defend my name.

"Good grief, just as I thought you are getting better but now you have to reveal that you a siscon!"

"I'm not a siscon!"

"Siscon!"

"Not!"

"Your totally are!"

How am I supposed to get out of this situation? Ah, I just have to convince her that I don't like younger girls.

"I'm telling you I'm not."

"Prove it then!"

"Well, for one thing I think you're a real beauty."

"Huh?!#$^" Strike! I get her to fluster for a second. "Idiot! Gross! Who the hell do you think you are?!"

Holy shit that was embarrassing, I need to recoup my coolness.

"You are a million years too early to just be able to hit on me, watch yourself!"

Come on, Muira-san, that rejection is way too weak, needs a little bit more spice and wittiness.

"I- yeah, I was just practicing for Yukinoshita like you asked before."

"Huh? Uh, yeah, right, Yukinoshita. Either way, it's still terrible!" With her arms folded in front of her chest, Miura pouts and looks away from me.

"Are you sure it's not ok?"

"It's disgusting!"

Haizz… yes, Your Highness.

"Baka."

Miura stops.

"It's fine from here." She says.

"Sure?"

"I'm fine."

"Wouldn't stop you then."

"Well then, I mean, I should thank you for walking me here, right? And also with the school works." She plays with her golden locks as her eyes dart to and away from me.

"You're welcome."

"Ok then. Good night Hikio, see you tomorrow." She waves her hand awkwardly, almost like that one time from Yukinoshita.

"N-night."

Did I just see it wrong? Am I not dreaming at the very moment? Is that a smile? A smile so faint like that of Mona Lisa, and I simply did not have enough time to see through it, and it's dark. No, I'm sure that it's faint because it is dark. Normally I wouldn't give too much thought about her, but a smiling Miura is actually quite a darling spectacle.

As I walk back, my thoughts wonder about the meaning of friendship, the meaning of my friendship with Miura. Is it still really friendship? Hardly can anyone listen to our conversation and think that it is a friendly conversation. Always bickering, always berating, always disagreements, those are the colours of our relationship, not a single bit friendly about it.

And yet…

 _I hate nice girls._

They go around smiling and being friendly to everyone, unintentionally shot down the hearts of naïve boys that were once me. A nice girl to you will be nice to everyone, only I took that kindness selfishly, and let it betray myself. That kindness is, at worst, nothing but a façade, a path to self-satisfaction, moral masturbation, a way to blend in with the society.

But Miura is none of that.

She is crude, she is terrible, she doesn't sugar-coat, she insults, she berates. Everything is said to me is terrible, the kind of stuff that would make you hate a person. But she just acts like it, without a care; she doesn't play the nice game. Even if she just acts that way because she doesn't care about me, even if she acts that way just because she doesn't feel the need to put up a face for low lives like me, even so…

It's the same as Yukinoshita, and that is why…

"I don't really hate that part about you."

The night was chilling, the moon was neither crescent nor full, and it also doesn't really shine that brightly.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you for all of your support so far. So there are a few people that said Miura and Hikio get along too much, even though I try to make Miura as bitchy as possible, haha, didn't expect people to call it "fluffy". Things will only get better from here.**

* * *

 **Chapter 5: Hikigaya Hachiman doesn't have many friends.**

Tuesday. Morning. School.

Test day.

As the bell rings, you can hear the sighs and laments of everyone in class. As for me, I think I did a pretty ok job. It is also the bell to lunch break so the class quickly breaks into the usual cliques; the busiest and loudest bunch is obviously the Hayama and Miura one.

I find myself staring at Miura again while they're comparing their test answers. Not that I care but no matter how much you compare and discuss them, your test scores won't change; I prefer to evade the inevitable for as long as possible.

Suddenly, I feel Miura just shoots a glance at me. I'm not really sure until…

BZzzz

Miura: [Gross!]

[Good morning]

Miura: [How is the test?]

Just one aisle of desks apart, Miura just sits there nonchalantly texting like always, looking exactly like her normal self. The only earth shaking difference is that one of those texts is directed at me.

[Terrible]

Miura: [Seriously?]

Miura: [Not bad for me, how can u even flunk it?]

[I mean if I don't get a 100 it's a failed test to me]

Miura: [Good grief ur such a rotten idiot!]

Meh, whatever.

Miura: [But I don't really hate that part about you.]

Wait what?! I turn away from the phone to look at Miura. She looks just as flabbergasted as me as she continues to pound on her phone in a panic.

Miura: [Wait no! That wast for u]

Miura: [I typed in the wrong chat!1! Don't misunderstand ok?!1!]

Ah, I see. Damn you, Miura! Why do you play with my heart like that?!

I glance at her again. She also throws a quick glare at me with her narrow eyes and flustered cheeks, a look that screams either "Forget it!" or "This incident never happen!"

"Hikki."

My body jerks up by instinct. What is this feeling? It feels like I have been caught cheating.

"Yuigahama."

"You look kinda nervous, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, you just surprise me that's all."

"How is your test?"

"Terrible." I repeat myself.

"Mo you always say that but when the result come you always get high score."

"It's not really high score. Mah, I guess it is high score _for you_." I give her a half-hearted smile.

"Wha-what is that supposed to mean?! I can get high score, too!"

"Sure sure."

For some reasons, Yuigahama starts fidgeting around.

"B-By the way, I rarely see you text, I can't believe that you even have someone to text with, haha."

"Ah, no, it's just Komachi and her shenanigans."

"Ah.. I see."

And thus our school day went by quite uneventfully.

...

Wednesday. Late night. Hikigaya Residence.

Miura: [Hikio]

[Miyu]

Miura: [*One punch emoticon*]

[So what now?]

Miura: [Lets go out this Sunday]

"Pfffss!"

I literally spit out my drink. The Miura Yumiko, the Fire Queen, the Queen Bee, just asks me out by herself?! What the hell is going on here?

Miura: [Don't get the wrong idea ok? I just want to thank u for helping me in the exam, plus I want to pay u back for the other day, plus we need to continue our plan, too]

It's a date with Miyu! Wait what the hell am I thinking?

[It's ok, you don't need to thank me]

Miura: [It's for the plan, too, so you have to come]

[No]

Miura: [I'll kill you!]

[So, like a date?]

Miura: [It's not a date! Gross!]

[But it's kinda like a date]

[…]

Miura: [Ok fine, it's kinda like a date, but it's nothing special, ok! It's like, a thank you date!]

[Where do we meet, then?]

Miura: [I guess at the front door of the mall like last time]

[12?]

Miura: [Yeah, 12 is fine]

[So it's a date then]

Miura: [Would you stop with that?! Or I'm cancelling it!]

I would love to.

...

Thursday. Midday. School.

Absolutely nothing happened.

...

Sunday. Noon. Mall.

"Hikio."

"Miyu."

"Hikimo!"

For this "date", Miura sports a shoulder-exposed frilly purple blouse in combination with her tight blue jeans. I'm glad that the sunglasses in off right that the beginning but the sun hat is still there, albeit smaller than the last one. Even if you cannot stand her attitude, you cannot deny that she would probably look stunning in any outfits. She is, in my book, still the second prettiest girl in school. The poppy fragrance evades my sense again; her hair is nicely done as always, her golden locks hang gracefully in front of her glistering white shoulders. Wait, this better not awaken anything in me.

"Hmm..." Miura is also observing me attentively. "Looks better now but there is still works to be done."

I'm wearing the clothes that she bought the other day. Luckily Komachi was not around this morning to cause a ruckus. I think she is hanging with her friends today. Shit! This better not be that punk Kawasomething's little brother!

"Let's go."

So I follow her. Even though the other day I was beside her when I walked her back from work, this time we still keep the three meters distance between us. Daylight and people seem to give out a different coping mechanism.

She takes me to a different coffee shop. It looks substantially bigger than the shop that Isshiki once showed me. We pick a table: a cubicle with soft seated couch, and sit down. The waitress swiftly gives us the menus. It appears that the selection is greater, and they also serve food dishes on top of coffee and snacks. Looks like she plans for us to have lunch here.

One more notable thing about this shop, the waitress outfit is amazingly alluring, not in a bared-skin way, but the design itself really accentuates the features.

"Hikio what did you pick? I don't want us to pick the same thing."

We place our orders as the waitress comes, allowing me to take a good look at the outfit again. After she left, I can't help myself but look at Miura:

"Hey Miyu."

"Go die!"

"Do you have a part-time job?"

"Not really. I don't really have a reason, though."

"Have you even thought of it?"

"Not really."

"Like at coffee shop for example, could be fun you know."

"Hey what are you on about?" Miura gleams at me cautiously, suddenly gaps. "Don't tell me you are thinking of me in those waitress outfits?!"

"No that's your imagination."

"You definitely are thinking about it!" Miura covers her body by instinct. "Kimo! Hikimo!"

"Hey there you can't just fill in the blank like that. I didn't say anything."

"Your rotten eyes are enough to te-"

Miura gasps, then frantically screeches at me:

"Go hide! Now!"

By instinct, I turn around to see what see saw.

Isshiki Iroha.

Knowing exactly what she wants, I stand up immediately and start moving. But since Isshiki just walked through the front door, my only escape route, so I make it to the washroom. As I go through the door, I can hear a faint "Ah, Miura-senpai!" from my back.

Miura: [What now?]

[When she is occupied with herself, I will come out and deck to the front door]

Miura: [Ok]

[Try to distract her if you can]

Miura: [Ok. I will text you when to go]

[Thks]

And so I wait. What is this feeling like I'm committing some adultery business again? Surely both Miura and I know that we cannot let this situation get out of hands. Can you even imagine the kind of rumours that will sprout from this? Miura will surely come out worse than me, but regardless I still want to stay low and not being the butt of more hatred.

But is it really myself that I want to protect? I have gotten much worse, surely this is just a knife cut on the arm to my intestine spewing bowel. For some reasons, I have grown an inclination to protect Miura, the same way I would have to Yuigahama or Yukinoshita.

Miura: [Go!]

I take a quick peek outside. Isshiki is checking out the menu. Hmm! It's time for me to activate my infamous loner skill: Stealth Hikki!

Keep your composure, relax your breathing, keep a steady, consistent movement, no turning back, no sudden actions, focus only on what ahead, wheeze through the scene like an autumn gust. Those are the principles that will allow you blend in plain sight! Almost there.

"Ah. Senpai!"

Dammit! This fox's Senpai Radar is much stronger than I expected! Relax, Hachiman! Just play it cool.

"Oh, Isshiki?" I shift my eyes to Miura and act surprise. "And Miura, too?"

"I can't believe I would see you in a place like this!" Isshiki is gleaming with joy.

"I can't believe it either. But Komachi asked me to buy her some snacks here. She said this place sells some real delicious snacks." I have been using Komachi as a scapegoat for everything recently.

"Komachi?"

"My little sis."

"Ah." Isshiki narrows her eyes and gives a devilish smile. "I forgot that you're a siscon."

"Siscon my ass."

My gaze catches Miura, she's glaring at me with the "I knew it!" expression. No I'm telling you this is not how it is!

"Miura-senpai, is it ok for senpai to sit with us?"

"I-I don't really mind. I mean, I guess I'll bite through it."

"It's fine. Senpai may look like that but he's no harm."

"Like I said it's fine right?" Miura appears annoyed.

Isshiki then turns to me and speaks with a cheery tone:

"Senpai, since you are here, would you mind hanging out with us for a while?"

"Actually I do mind, so I think I will be off. You guys enjoy yourself." I don't have a good feeling about this.

"Ah, senpai~ you're no fun. Come on, you will be sitting with two cute girls in a cafe, won't you feel happy? Right Miura-senpai?"

You just self-declare yourself cute you flipping sly fox. Do you think you're going to get past me with that?

"Whatever. I don't really care about that. Hm!" Miura shoots me with a fearsome glare again; I can't tell if it is telling me to stay or telling me to scram.

"I guess I will stay for a while."

"Here you go, senpai~"

Isshiki inches her butt to the left and exposes a seat right next to her. As I sit down, I notice that my water glass is nowhere to be found. Did Miyu hide it somewhere? Hm she is more quick-witted than I thought.

"Here is the menu senpai! We can share it together!" As Isshiki opens the menu between the views of both of us, she seems to be inching a bit closer to me. Aren't you a bit touchy feely today Isshiki?

My danger sense suddenly picks up some signal, causing me to look up. Uwah it's that death glare again; she is also mouthing some words that I think is "Kimo"

"Sorry for the wait!"

The waitress comes to our table with two dishes on hand.

"One Curry Risotto Omurice with mango chutney!"

"That would be for me." Miura says.

"And one Chaliapin Steak Don with onion sauce!"

"That would be for me too!" Miura says in a hurry.

"Huh..? O-ok then!" She then turns to Isshiki. "Have you decided on a dished yet?"

"Eh- eto…" Isshiki hurriedly scans through the menu. "I think I will have the Evolved Nori Bento, it sounds interesting! Oh by the way can we get one more glass of water?"

"One Nori Bento and one more glass of water sure thing!"

"Sankyu!*" Isshiki says.

"No worries."

"Wow, Miura-senpai you ordered two dishes?" Isshiki says after the waitress left.

"I- I didn't have breakfast so I'm kind of hungry."

Miura seems to examine her dishes for a while then exclaims.

"It's a little bit more than I expected. I guess I could give one of you the don." Nice one, Miyu!

Isshiki takes a closer look at the don.

"Hm, it seems a bit too fatty for me so I think I'll pass, plus I already ordered."

"That leaves only you Hikio."

"Oh.. thanks" I say reluctantly.

By some sort of miracle, we ended up with exactly what we ordered without Isshiki noticing a thing.

"Oh lucky you, senpai! You get food without even waiting or even order. Miura-senpai must have liked you."

"Wha-"

"Wa.. Don't be stupid! How could I like this rotten eyed creep!" Ouch, Miura-san.

"Tee hee!"

"Ah, you don't have to wait for me! Just go ahead." Isshiki continues.

"A.. ok. Itadakimasu." Miura says.

"Wait!" Isshiki exclaims. "I know this dish. My friends said you should slice the omelette open with your spoon first."

"Ah I see. Here I go."

Miura puts the tip of the spoon at the middle section of the omelette. In one quick movement, the omelette cleanly splits open.

!

It's an explosion! With ferocious intensity, a Fragrance Bomb! After being trapped underneath the egg layer, the curry aroma gushes out like a freshwater stream bursting through hard rock. It's a complete full frontal attack; completely assault our senses with its sensual flavour. The fragrance alone is enough to make us feel faint, and puts us in a trance of almost eternal happiness.

Miura cheeks have gotten red, her eyes are full of haze. "What is this? It smells so delicious!"

"Please try it Miura-senpai!" Isshiki is also very excited.

"O-ok. Here I go."

With her shaken hand, Miura slowly puts a spoonful of the risotto into her mouth.

"Hm!"

She's speechless! Her eyes close like she is in ecstasy. Even just by watching, I can still feel the flavour is evading her body, fills her up with every fibre of pure, unadulterated pleasure. Miura hugs her own body, squirming around with her cheeks bright red.

I can hear her very heavy breathing. "It's so hot and so… delicious!"

"No way… I want to try it too!" Isshiki says.

Isshiki takes another spoon on the table and helps herself with another spoonful,

"Hm!"

Isshiki's body jerks up as the food enters her mouth. She is trying her best to hold it in, but the attack of the flavours is too vicious. Her cheeks are also bright red, her body is trembling. She can barely compose herself as her body leans against my shoulder and her hand clings extremely hard to my arms.

"Senpai~" Isshiki is breathing heavily. "It's so delicious I can't take it!"

What?! The hell is this reaction?! This is surely most definitely exaggerated, right!? No human would react like this to food, right? Is this even the right show for me to be in?

But I'm not a man without any curiosity, so I take a bite out of my own beef bowl.

"Ah!"

It feels as if my clothes is being stripped away, leaving just me and this heavenly taste. The beef seemingly melts at the tip of my tongue, blends perfectly the savoury onion sauce. The heavy flavour of the beef is offset by the light acidity found in rice, and at the same time makes me crave it even more. I can't stop eating it! The flavour is absolutely supreme. How can a cafe have such delicious food?

...

But the fun of food doesn't last long, and afterward it's just hours of complete exhaustion. With Isshiki here all they talk about are girl talks, fashions and class gossips; things that I don't give two goddamn craps about. I'm just stuck here fiddling with my phones while their nonstop chatter's buzzing through my ears like an operating jackhammer.

"Huh that skirt is ugly." Miura takes a look at Isshiki's phone screen.

"Eeh, no way I think it's looks pretty cute."

"Definitely not at all."

"Eeeh?" Isshiki is in shock. "Senpai what do you think?"

My trance is broken when Isshiki mentions my name. Her phone screen is now staring at me.

"It's pretty cute, right senpai~?" Isshiki tries to smooth-talk me.

"It's ugly, right Hikio?" Miura stares at me intently. She definitely does not want to be in the wrong here.

Wait what? What am I even doing here? Why is this situation even happening?

"What you do think, senpai?"

"Just say it Hikio."

Both of them are going in with killing intent, I must pick my words very carefully here. As I take a look at the outfit, I can't help but notice one thing.

"I think you are both right here."

"Senpai!"

"Huh?!"

"I mean! I can see it look cute on Isshiki, but it doesn't really fit your style Miura, that's why you think it is ugly."

"Ma, I guess you're right senpai, if you look at it that way!"

"Well whatever, it's not like I care about your opinion."

The hell, woman! You were just looking at me like you were trying to eat me alive just before! Well I guess it's just part of the act.

And so the conversation carries on and I still have little involvement in it. But at last, things must come to an end at some point.

"Senpai~, since you get to hang out with us two pretty girls, why don't you pay for us?" Isshiki gleams cheerfully as she clinches to my arm.

"Huh?"

"Wait, Iroha! That's a bit-" For some reasons, Miura seems taken aback when Isshiki looks at her. "I mean, I don't need that rotten eye creep to pay for my meal."

"That's fine, but you still can pay for the don and bento, right senpai?"

"Yeah, sure." I say dejectedly.

Luckily my pay-check just arrived this Friday so I have some money to spare. Even though Miura said she was going to treat me, my father has taught me that I should always bring money when I go outside.

"Thank you, senpai!"

And so I paid for Isshiki's and my meal, and some snacks on top that for my cover-up. Seriously, I'm losing money so fast right now.

"Senpai~ you are still free after this, right? Wanna go somewhere else?" Isshiki says after we walked out of the cafe.

"No thanks, I have to return to Komachi with the snack, plus I'm tired."

"Mo there you go with your sister again!" Isshiki pouts. "You sure are a siscon!"

"I'm telling you it's not like that! I'm just doing my regular brother duties."

"Eh I guess that's fine, Miura-senpai what about you?"

"I'm also kind of busy after this."

"That's too bad. Well then, it's great seeing both of you here, I guess I will be leaving. Ah, by the way, senpai~"

Isshiki grabs my arm and pulls my ear close to her lips, her nails digs into my skin a bit way too much. And then, with a still cheery smile, she unleashes those words in a monotonic whisper:

"You seem to have some great fun with Miura-senpai heh?"

My heart sinks like an anchor and it feels like ten years of my life span have just been chopped off. And then she tops it off with another innocent smile. If smile could kill, I would certainly be dead.

"Well then, see you guys!"

With a final wave, Isshiki takes off while I stand here completely dumbfounded.

She knew, didn't she?

I take a look at the cafe again. Our table is right next to the front window; it's definitely not hard to see us from the outside.

"Haizz…" I sighed.

"Hikio!"

"Yes?" I nervously respond.

"You seem awfully close with Iroha, don't you think?" Miura seems quite annoyed.

"Well, she came to the Service clubs a couple of times. We just got acquainted through that."

She just stands there with her arm crossed and interrogating eyes.

"That is pretty much the whole story, it really is. She is pretty clingy to everyone you should know that right?"

"Mah, whatever." Miura sighs. "Looks like you're paying again, and it's supposed to be my treat."

"No worries. I'm glad that Isshiki didn't find out." Actually she did. I will definitely need to perform some damage control tonight.

"Yeah, it's good that you cooperated. By the way, we should go it's getting pretty late."

"To where?"

"To my house."

Eh?

* * *

 ***Sankyu is the Japanese pronunciation of "thank you". It is quite commonly used in Japan.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: The Melancholy of Miura Yumiko**

"To my house."

Eh? Wait, what?

"To… your house?"

"I said before I'm gonna work on your hair next right? But since it looks like you cannot afford it so I will do it myself."

"You mean…"

"Just go. I'll give you a new haircut."

"No thank you."

No way I'm letting anyone touch my hair, especially from an amateur.

"That's rude! I'm telling you I'm pretty good at it myself, I'm in no way an amateur. If you want to clarification, you can ask my little sis."

"You mean talking to one of your family members that will most likely have a one-sided opinion?"

"It's the truth!" Miura looks determined. "Just trust me!"

"I don't think so."

"Well you will either have me or an expensive salon! Which is it?!"

"How about neither?"

"How about you said you will help me right?!"

"There's a limit to everything. Either way, I'm not doing this. If that is all you have then I will be going."

"What?! No way."

"See ya."

I turn back against her and start my escape.

"Liar."

"..."

"You said you are going to help me right? But now you just run away like that." Her voice is filled with anger, but with a little bit of trembling.

"I guess I was wrong about you after all, you really are scum." Her words are as cold as hard steel, her gaze is full of detest, but there is something else different about her. Her eyes, look almost, watery.

Oh no, don't do this.

At this point I can only just sigh.

"Let's go."

"It's going to look great, I promise."

...

And so we took a train to Miura's house again. Before, I was getting too worked up over the fate of my hair that I glossed over one important detail.

I'm going to a girl's house! And not just any girl's house, Miura Yumiko's house! Such a fact sounds so surreal when you took it out of context like that.

"Is there anyone at home?"

"No."

"I see." What?! Is this really happening? Am I going to be alone with Miyu in her house?

"My parents are on vacations over the weekend, my sister hung out with her friends today, so today is probably the most perfect chance."

The most perfect chance?! For what?

"I can't afford to let my family or my sister see me with you. It will ruin my image."

Ah.. So that is what it's about?

"I see." For some reasons, I give a defeated response.

Suddenly, Miura gaps and start speaking frantically.

"Don't misunderstand ok?! It's not what you think it is! Like I said I just don't want anyone to see me with you because they will misunderstand! And don't you even try to do anything funny while we are alone! I'll kill you!"

"I understand."

"Good!"

Jeez don't tell me Miura-san that you didn't even think about that when you came up with this plan? Are you actually quite a klutz? Now that I think about it that she did trip herself that time at the mall. Now the atmosphere has become awkward for the both of us.

And thus we reach her house. It is a nice house indeed; you can tell that her family is quite well off, not at the level of Yukinoshita, though.

"This way."

Miura leads me through the hallway and up the stairs until we stop in front of a door. Don't tell this room is…

Miyu's room.

"Sit here." She points to the computer chair in the room. Miura-san can you not see my heart racing at the moment? Well, of course you don't.

She goes looking in her closet for a while, leaving me here to take a good look at her room. Nice, spacious room, I wouldn't say this room is clean but it definitely smells good. Almost all of her items sport nice bright colours, mostly pink, white and green. She has a dedicated study desk and a makeup desk with dozens and dozens of small bottles that I have no idea what they are, and a mirror. She also has a full-size mirror at the other side of the room.

"Stop looking around so much, Hikimo!" Miura laments at me.

"M-my bad."

"Good grief."

She put a drape around my necks like in those professional salons. Hm, it appears she does take this quite seriously.

"Of course, I told you before right? It's like a hobby of mine."

"Hobby huh?"

"Yeah."

"Do plan to become a hairdresser?

"Not really, my parents are not very into that idea."

Then she starts pulling out equipment that can only be seen in a professional salon. Looks like she is the real deal.

Miyu's slender fingers run across my skull, send a weird shiver down through my spine. I am not used to this, how am I going to get used to having a girl like Miyu caressing my head? Her touch is so tender, almost like a mother patting her child. She really does have this uncharacteristic motherly tendency to her. I can do nothing but close my eyes and wait until the end.

Before long the sound of scissor snipping around is the only thing that is ringing near my ears, and I just come to the realisation that this is the closest I have been to Miyu. Her poppy fragrance is so strong I feel like I might choke on it, and occasionally her clothes rub against mine, the only girl who has been this close to me is Komachi, but this is completely different. My heart is racing like mad again.

"How are you feeling?" Miura asks.

"Fine I guess."

"I guess it's kinda nerve wrecking receiving haircut from someone who is not a professional. If it were me, I think would be just as freaked out, nah I would be even more freaked out."

"It's ok. I trust you."

"..."

"Hm! You were trying so hard to get away just before, you think I'd believe that?"

"That is before I saw what you are capable of."

To tell the truth, I still don't have a sliver of confidence in her scissors skill. The thing I have succumbed to, the thing that has wrapped around and twisted my perception, is her presence. The way she carries herself, her tender touches, the atmosphere, it is those things that have convinced me; it is her that have convinced me.

"Well, even if I mess up, it still will definitely look better than before."

This girl…

"So what style are you working at?" Not that I know any.

"You will see it when I'm done."

"You're not gonna make me look like Hayama, aren't you."

"Idiot. There is no way you would suit Hayato's style."

Not sure if this was a jab at me or not.

"Different facial structures have different styles that will go with them, that's it. I wish more people realize this instead of going for a hairstyle that they think is cool."

"You really do know a lot about this."

"It's basic knowledge."

Before long the snipping sound of scissors takes over the scene again.

"I wonder if this actually works?" Say a melancholic Miura.

"What are you talking about?"

"This plan."

"You seem pretty confidence before."

"I don't know, I just have a feeling."

It is because she avoids the main problems. The plan is to remove Yukinoshita from Hayama, but that is not her true purpose, her true purpose is to win over Hayama Hayato. Removeing Yukinoshita won't make Hayama more into her; at worst, it's just like chopping off a tree branch while leaving the trunk complete intact.

But it's not like she hasn't tried attacking up front; in fact, she probably tried numerous times, but no matter what the tree would not fall. The very fact that she is willing to come to me, the person that she most despises, for help; the very fact that she has to switch target to Yukinoshita instead, proves that this plan…

… is nothing but an act desperation.

"I guess you're right." Miura seems disheartened.

"..."

"I wonder what is wrong with me?"

"There is nothing wrong with you." Preventing you from winning Hayama over, that is.

"..."

"Hayama has his own problems, he has his own agendas, that is why he is not into a relationship right now; no, more like he is hesitating for a relationship right now."

"..."

"I know it's not convincing coming from me, since he and I are not that close in begin with."

"It's ok. I trust you."

I'm taken aback.

"Tell you the truth. Not even Hayato has come into my room before."

"…"

"Even though we seem so close in class, I don't really know him that much. Actually, I feel that he is even closer to you than to me."

Miura Yumiko, she is actually really good at reading relationship cues. Last time she also successfully deduced what happened between Hayama and Yukinoshita.

"You must be joking. Surely I am not at all close to Hayama."

"He actually talks about you to me."

"..."

"He is usually the one who defends you, He actually holds you in high regards, which I don't understand."

"He is just being a nice guy. That's the way he is." A 'nice guy'.

"Good grief, I thought you are better than this. Are you actually an idiot?!"

Am I actually? Or do I just like to play the fool?

"Do you think his hesitation comes from Yukinoshita?"

"Maybe."

"Do you think that when Yukinoshita makes her choice, he won't hesitate anymore?"

"I don't know."

"You must know."

"..."

"He would probably hesitate no longer, but that lack of hesitation can go in a completely opposite direction that you want." I speak my hypothesis.

"..."

Exactly, even if she succeeds, what she is doing right now is still essentially a gamble.

"They said you missed 100% the shot you don't take right?" Her voice is trembling.

"That's true."

"If he is hesitating, then I can't afford to."

Miyu.

"That's why we will continue this plan."

Miura Yumiko, I guess you are much stronger than I thought.

"It's nothing. The reason why I'm willing to go through with this is because…"

Because?

"I have a backup plan."

Hm… interesting? What kind of plan do you still have in store Miyu?

"Miyu… Ouch!" Jeez, easy on the combing will ya?

"My bad." That does not sound apologetic at all.

After the cut, Miura begins styling as I'm slowly watching my hair take its final form.

"There!" Miura exclaims.

"Hmm…" It is certainly very nicely cut, the style is actually very nice to look at, but there is something off about it. For some reasons, I come off quite… menacing.

"Hmm…" Miura also seems to be in thought, caressing her chins like a detective. "I guess it does make you look kinda like a delinquent."

"Yeah…"

"Mah it's fine right? It still looks better than before!"

"I guess…" I smile wryly. What else can be done now? That is why I'm terrified of getting my haircut, professional or not; because when it's done, it stays there forever. Well, not forever but long enough for you to feel miserable for an eternity.

"Ok, wait here."

She quickly darts out of the door.

I check myself in the mirror again. So this is what they called the "bad boy" look? I don't know what to feel about this.

"Here!"

Miura comes back with a broom and dustpan and a vacuum cleaner. Wait, are you handing this to me?

"Of course, it's your mess right? So you clean it."

"Kch.." That is a compelling argument.

As I am on my knees cleaning my hair, Miura just sits on her bed, nonchalantly crossing her legs like an overseer overseeing the slaves. Damn this girl, and just right when I have a better impression of her.

But…

But!

What is this situation am I having right here?! I am on my knees cleaning my hair she is sitting on the bed chilling and that would be an ordinary situation. However! Because she is sitting on the bed her skirt got riled up and exposes even more of her glistering white thighs plus the angle that I am in right now! I swear if that skirt is just millimetres higher I would see the things that I am not supposed to see!

"Ah. Excuse me!"

She takes notice of the snacks I placed on the bed! I placed the snack a bit too far from her arms reach so she has to really bend over to make due! Her skirts ruffle up and down her features become more prominent! I can't look away it is calling me like a siren calling sailors to their inevitable doom I see so much but at the same time I see Nothing!

She opens the snacks and nonchalantly munches them down while I'm still on the floor and she is completely unaware of the desperate struggle that I am facing right at this moment!

"Hm? You want some?"

Those are my snacks you ungrateful bitch can you stop being so nonchalant about it?!

"But, my hands are dirty."

"Here."

She just takes out a piece and extends her arm toward me. What?

"Here. Just bite it."

"Uh, pardon me."

I bite down the snack directly at Miyu's hand! Did I just get fed by the goddamn Miura Yumiko?! My body is burning and my heart is racing like a Formula 1 on steroid!

And sweeping is done, so I stand up and start running the vacuum, I don't know what it is but it feels like my chance of achieving something is over. Actually I know exactly what it is! Calm down Hachiman you're getting worked up over nothing.

"Ah, do that part over there too."

"Hey I'm cleaning my hair not your room!"

"There is hair over there, too! By the way, you should hurry up my sister is almost home."

And so I end up vacuuming most of her floor. I can't believe the situation turns out to be like this.

"You still miss a spot over there." Miura voices behind me.

"Where?" I turn around.

"Kya!"

I turn around the same time Miura gets up from her bed and thus I trip her. In my desperate attempt to save her I also trip over the vacuum's cord and suffer the same fate. What is this rom-

Ouch!

Both my hands and knees pummel to the floor, I desperately keep my arms straight so that I won't fall into Miyu. It's fine, I didn't touch anything I'm not supposed to. But…

Still our faces are really close now, so close that we can feel each other's breath. But then I feel a soft sensation on my arms. With both of my arms stand straight and hard off the ground each of Miyu's thighs is resting on each of mine, if you look at it from the outside I'm practically spreading her legs right open!

"!"

White!

No f**king way!

Before long a stinging sensation spats across my cheek so powerful that it knocks me off position. Both Miyu and I recompose ourselves, facing away from each other.

"H-hentai!"

"My bad!"

And thus my misadventure at Miura's house comes to an end.

I'm walking down the street, Miura three metres ahead of me. We haven't spoken any words since the incident. What to do now? Does she hate me now? Wait, isn't this a good thing. With her hating me, she will probably stop keeping a contact with me and I can be free. No this isn't right.

As I lift my head up, I catch an ugly sight. Miura has been stopped by two guys, looking like they are in high school age.

"Hey girl you look real pretty, wanna go and have something fun."

"Go away I am busy!"

"Aw c'mon don't be so uptight, we just want to have some harmless fun. Everybody likes fun right?"

"No, go away!"

Despite a strong outlook, Miura looks deeply disturbed by this, she is too rigid and her response is too simple. Looks like I have no other choice.

I strive forward and put my arm around Miyu's shoulder, pull her closer to me and slightly away from those guys, putting my body between them and her. I look at them with my most glaring gaze that I can put on.

"Let's go, Miyu."

Thanks to the new delinquent look Miura just gave me, it seems like they are taken aback.

"Tch. Let's go." One of them laments and both of them take off.

"Haizz.." That was unnerving. If they happened to look through my bluff, I'm not sure that I would have been able to take them on.

"You are awfully touchy lately Hikio?" Miya stares at me with an annoyed expression.

I quickly let go off her.

"I was just trying to-"

Out of the corner of my eye I see something familiar. I look forward again and feel my heart drop.

Two young girls of middle school age are standing in front us, one of them is one that I'm terribly familiar with.

K-Komachi!

I'm speechless! Not a single breath can go out! She just freezes right there, mouth and eyes slightly open. I'm done for; she's going to explode any moment now.

She looks at the other girl and starts talking, no yelling, no strong facial expression, just casual chatting. They start walking again, nonchalantly right past us like we don't exist.

What was that? Is that it? No I have a feeling that this is not over. My feet are still rooted in one place, I still need some time to process this.

But Miura starts walking, really fast if I might add. I have no other choice but to follow her.

"Wait, Miyu."

Suddenly she turns inside an alley. I don't remember walking through any alley on my way to her house.

As the view of the main street is getting smaller, she turns back to me. Before I have any chance to talk, using both her arms, she slams me hard against the wall.

"Ouch!"

"Hikio you Dumbass! Look at what you've done!" Her eyes are full of fury, her cheeks are fully blushed.

"I was just trying to save you from those shitheads! You should be a bit more thankful you know!"

"I mean not that!"

She grabs her own face and starts lamenting to herself.

"I can't believe she saw that! What am I going to do?! How am I going to explain that to her! She's never ever gonna let it go!"

"What are you talking about? You mean someone you know saw you too?"

Miura turns to me and delivers the death glare again, normally I would be taken aback but now with her being so flustered I'm.. still taken aback, but not because of how scary it is but because of how cute it is.

"Hikio you did a lot of terrible things to me today!"

"Yes." I avoid her gaze.

"How are you going to repay me for that?!"

"I don't know."

"I'm not gonna let you off easy for that! From now on, whatever I say you have to follow me."

No way. My escape plan...

"It's because of you things turn out like this! So…"

Her fingers grip my shoulders like an eagle's claws so painful it's forcing me to look at her. With her cheeks bright red, Miyu looks at me so intensely, allures me with those watery glossy green eyes.

"Take responsibility!"


	7. Chapter 7

**Edit: fix 8man's game machine into Vita-chan**

* * *

 **Chapter 7: White 100%**

Sunday. Dust. Hikki's room..

I'm done for!

Sitting on my table hugging my head with both my hands, I can feel my thoughts swirling around like mad. What has been done has already been done. From Isshiki to Komachi, this "date" couldn't have gone in any worse way. However, this is no time to be grieving; what I need now, is a proper plan.

Now then, let's access the situation. There are three major red flags: Isshiki, Komachi, and Miura. For Komachi, I will most likely deal with her today; and will I need to deal with Isshiki as soon as possible. I know that she hasn't made it a big deal yet, and only revealed the secret to me; which means there is a high chance that she is not too hasty on busting us. I can deal with her tomorrow. Finally, about Miyu…

This is getting out of hand, even though I did get a bit of a consolation price, wait this is not the time. I have been merrily going along with her scheme for far too long now, but now it's strike back time. But how? After this incident, I found myself in a much deeper hole than I used to be. Somehow, maybe I can find a way to utilise this very hole.

Speaking of digging oneself too deep, it seems like Miyu is also in the same situation as me. I'm 98% sure that the other middle schooler next to Komachi is her little sister. All the pieces fit together perfectly, the that fact both of our sisters went out today, the location, and her reaction, all of them.

Heh.. Why in god's name that my sister and Miura's sister are friends? The rom-com god is surely twisted.

The sound of door opening happens so suddenly that it makes the hair on my back spikes. Komachi?! No, relax Hachiman, maybe it's just a burglar.

"ONII-CHAN!"

 _God's heaven no!_

The rumbling sound of footsteps slips into my ears as I'm slowing waiting for my inevitable doom. My heart is thumping like it's about to burst out of my chest; my mind is scrambled with thoughts, excuses to use on my sister.

*BANG!*

My room door bursts open like a gunshot, reveals a panting middle schooler with eyes full of determination; wait, maybe that's not the right word.

I stay silent.

"Oi, Onii-chan! I saw something really amusing on the street today." She says those words in a mocking tone.

"W-what is it?"

"I saw someone who kinda looks like you today, but only better dressed, has better hair, and has his arms around a totally hot blonde!"

"Oh- is that so?"

"But it couldn't be you right?" She draws a cheerful smile on your face. "There is no way my Onii-chan can be that much of a stud right?"

"Ha, you are probably right. Look-alikes do happen more often than you think." Even though I know that it is hopeless, maybe there is a chance that she actually believes it.

"Eh.. I guess it's true now that I actually saw it!" Her fake smile is as friendly as ever.

"Yeah"

"I see I see!"

"Yeah."

"..."

"..."

"DON'T JOKE WITH ME!"

Komachi lunges at me at top speed and almost climbs on my chair.

"There is no way that it isn't you! I recognise your rotten dead fish eyes everywhere!"

"No, it's not it.." I give a weak response.

"What was that?! Some sort of secret identity?! What kind of superhero are you?! Playboy-man?!"

"Just listen to me!"

I explain to her that she is just another customer at the Service club. What happened today was just us offering our assistance; nothing more, nothing less.

"Then why were Yukinon-san and Yui-san not there?"

"They were busy today."

"Then why did you have your arms around her?! You totally look like a couple."

"You just appeared at the wrong time. I was just trying to keep her away from those guys that were bothering her."

"Hmmmm…" She doesn't seem very convinced.

"It's the truth."

"Ok, onii-chan, as you little sis, I'm going to… Ah! Wait! What about those clothes and that hairstyle?! You dressed up and even changed your hair style! Why did you even go such length if you were just helping her out! That was definitely a date!"

"No, that was completely unrelated!"

"Unrelated?!" She screeches the word back at me like it's some sort of joke.

"Yes, it is completely unrelated."

"Onii-chan!"

"Komachi." I grab her shoulders. "I know this may sound unreasonable, but you have to trust me this time around. There is nothing, and I repeat, absolutely nothing between me and her. Actually, even if I want it, it's still impossible. That girl, she completely despises me. We only came together this one time out of a temporary truce."

Komachi is glaring at me, I can tell that she is looking for any sign of wavering. I know that, that's why I have to be completely focused.

"Really?"

"Absolutely."

"Haizz…" She sighs. "Onii-chan is really disappointing…!"

"Hmm?"

"I mean, I guess I'm kinda loud and intimidating because it is such a big shock for me. But in the end, as long as you find a girlfriend, I'm happy."

"Once again you put too much hope on your Onii-chan."

"Still, I prefer Yukinon-san or Yui-san more; at least I know them."

"Well, that girl is your friend's sister so you may get to know her eventually."

"My friend's sister? Who?"

"The one you went out with today."

"Kotomi?"

"Yeah, whatever her name is. Oh, what's her family name?"

"Miura."

"Yeah, she is her sister alright."

"Heh..! Maybe she is a nice person after all!" What's with the sudden switch?

"Did you not see her when you came to her house?"

"Not really. I just went there to pick up some stuff; I didn't stay there long enough to see her."

"Ah."

...

Night time.

Komachi, check.

My mental capacity has already reached a low point after dealing with Komachi, but I know that I cannot stop here. The first red flag has been cleared, but I still have two more. Thus, I pick up my phone and search for the name of a certain foxy junior.

[Isshiki]

Isshiki: [Good evening, senpai~]

[Are you free after school? I'd like to talk to you for a bit] I feel that this issue cannot be fully explained by phone alone.

Isshiki: [*gasp* r u trying to ask me out on a date? I'm sorry senpai but I'm not interested in dead-fish-eyed, both-hand-catching playboy!]

[It's just a misunderstanding. Meet me in front of the public library after school and I will tell you everything]

Isshiki: [Everything?]

[Everything] Not really.

Isshiki: [Fine then]

[Until that time, please don't spread any false rumor]

Isshiki: [Mah what kind of girl do u think I am?]

[Yeah yeah]

Isshiki: [Looking forward to tomorrow! See u there, senpai~]

[Thanks]

Putting down the phone, I let out another tiring sigh. Isshiki Iroha, half check. It's so exhausting, having to wait like this, having to deal with all this, all because of her.

Speaking of which, I wonder how is Miyu doing right now? Even though she only has her sister, she doesn't have a lot of excuses to justify the scene. Maybe I should check up on her for a bit.

[Hey there]

Miura: [Hikimo!]

[Are you still angry?]

Miura: [Of course I am! U r the one that caused all this!]

[How's thing with your sister?]

Miura: [So you know, huh?]

[I can figure that much]

Miura: [Omg she is so annoying! She didn't believe me at all. But anw at least I managed to get her to pipe down a little bit]

[That's good to hear]

Miura: [Good grief such a bad time to get caught like that]

[If it makes you feel better, I also got caught]

Miura: [You did? Who]

[Remember there is another middle schooler walking with your sister? Turns out my sister and yours hung out together]

Miura: [Seriously?]

[Yeah]

Miura: [That's so strange]

[I know right?]

Miura: [I guess we are closer than I thought]

What the hell does that even mean?

Miura: [Btw, now that u saw my sister don't u dare even think about her. I'll kill you!]

How long are we going to continue running this joke? Give it a break already.

…

Monday. Midday. Classroom

Even after a somewhat disastrous "date" with Miyu, I can't help but feel a little bit more attached to her; although, in the classroom, everything seems to return to zero. I am me and Miura is still Miura; we are a different world apart. Not that it matters in any way; this relationship only happens simply because of our agreement, a covenant that no one else should know. Most likely, nothing will change when this is over, be it my relationship with Miura or my relationship with Yukinoshita. As for Hayama and Miura, I couldn't care less about them. Miura, I admire your determination, but no matter how you see it, I cannot conform to your request. I'm not the one who can do such a thing. I'm sorry, but your plan is already futile in begin with.

And thus lunch break comes, and as a loner that I am, usually I would just go out and finish my lunch at my favourite spot; but recently I have been alternating between that and observing Miura's clique. I guess today I will stay here then.

A well-endowed figure appears in front of my table; it's no other than the one person that I'm familiar with.

"Yahallo Hikki." She greets me with a cheerful smile.

"Hello." I speak calmly.

"You're almost late today. What gives?"

"I was a little bit tired yesterday, so I tried to stretch my sleeping time for a bit." With limited success thanks to a certain annoying little sister.

"Wow, what did you do yesterday?"

"Uh.. I.. went to the bookstore to check out some books, ran some errands for my parents and Komachi. A lot of insignificant little things, honest at this point I can barely remember them."

"Did you also go to a barber?" Yuigahama smiles.

"Ah.. right, you notice it?"

"Of course, I always notice. Ah, I mean, like, it's kinda in your face you know, haha."

"Not that I care but what do you think?"

"Eh? It.. looks good, I guess.." Yuigahama scratches her chin.

I have had this suspicion for a while. This is not to diminish Miura's ability, but the hairstyle she gave me requires proper styling before it can grow out and looks good naturally. And thus I'm stuck with this underwhelming hairstyle for a least a couples of days. Without thinking, my mind is suddenly bombarded with several violent flashbacks.

"I mean, a lot of hairstyles are meant to look best when it grows out, you know! I'm sure yours will look even better afterward haha.." Yuigahama tries to salvage the situation.

"I see."

Suddenly, I hear a familiar cry:

"Yui.. Hurry up."

"Coming!" Yuigama cries back.

Very briefly, I have a feeling that those glossy green eyes are pointing at me.

"Talk to you later, Hikki!" With a final wave, Yuigahama strives back to her usual clique.

Bzzz…

Miura: [Hikki-hikimo!]

[What now?]

Miura: [Don't get too friendly with Yui either. Good grief what does she even see in u?]

[Don't tell that me you are jealous?]

Miura: [Do u want to die?! So gross!]

[So it's not jealousy?]

Miura: [Of course not! Idiot!]

[Are you sure?]

Miura: [Just shut up! Awn r u free after class?]

I take a glance at Miyu; she is wholly aggravated, it's funny.

[Sorry I'm not]

Miura: [Seriously? I thought ur the type of guy who just goes home after class because they have no friend]

 _That is none of your Business, Miura-san!_

[Unfortunately I do have plan so I can't go with you today] All because of you, Miyu.

Miura: [What about tomorrow?]

[I'm ok]

Miura: [Then it's tomorrow then. Meet me in front of the shopping mall like always remember]

[Sure]

Miura: [Ok see you there]

…

After school. Library's gate.

I stand there waiting for a certain junior with vixen hair color, can't help myself but feel nervous of the anticipation. I recite my thoughts again, secretly rehearse the lines that I'm going to deliver. Soon after, my mind starts wondering about the vastness of the universe. What have I been thinking again?

"Senpai."

I turn my head and realise that Isshiki is already right next to me, carrying a small grocery bag. Almost out of instinct, I raise my hand toward her; naturally, she transfers the bag to me.

"Hehe, this feels like back before the festival." Isshiki lets out a smile.

"Let's go."

"Where to?"

"We need to find a place to sit down so that we can talk."

"Ah, ok."

Truth be told, I still haven't had a clue about our final destination, so right now I'm really just wandering around. However, the image of my destination is clear: secluded and unheard of. I absolutely do not want another incident like last time.

"Senpai, did you have a haircut?"

"Uh, yes."

"I knew it. But I think you're not doing it right."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean it's not supposed to be loose like that. Didn't the barber tell you how to style it?"

"Well, no, actually I kind of glossed over it."

"Here, I think it goes like it."

Isshiki runs in front of me and without a warning, grazes my forehead with her fingers. Is girl's skin always that soft, I wonder? I can feel my hair running between her fingers as she casually plays with it; the sensation of her makes heart accelerate and my body grow tense.

"There you go! Looks so much better now!" Isshiki gleams while holding my hair in place. "Although it kinda makes you look like a delinquent."

"Ah, come on. Get off." I turn my head to effectively get rid of her grasp.

"Ah, senpai."

"Don't do this kind of thing in the middle of the streets, you know." The incident the other day has left me a bit paranoid, but what is this heat I'm feeling on my face?

"Teehee!"

Soon after, we arrive at a random café deep into an alley. This time around I specifically pick a non-window seat.

"Uwah this place is pretty dark. Looks kinda like one of those places where some undercover spies trade information with each other, don't you think senpai." Exactly, Isshiki; this place is perfect.

"Now then, the full story." Resting her chin on both of her hands, Isshiki gleams at me with glittering eyes.

"Are you actually curious about this?"

"I'm curious!" _Nice reference Isshiki._

I let out a short sigh. "Alright…"

I tell her the convenient truth like I did with Komachi; that Miura is just another customer of the Service Club, and she is asking me to help her conquer Hayama Hayato. What she saw the other day was just a strategic meeting between me and her; no more and no less.

"But I didn't hear anything about Miura-senpai from Yukinon-senpai and Yui-senpai." Isshiki has made a habit of hanging out at the Service Club every so often. If there is any new case, she must know; plus she might even talk to both them outside of club time.

"That's right, both Yukinoshita and Yuigahama don't know about this, because Miura is afraid that things may get awkward if it involves Yukinoshita, and because Yuigahama is close to Yukinoshita, she mustn't know as well."

"But she did ask Yukinoshita-senpai to help her with Hayama-senpai before."

"That is different, plus that is before she learned how complicated Yukinoshita and Hayama relationship is."

"How complicated is it?"

"I know just as much as you so don't ask me."

"I don't know. It doesn't feel right to me." What is that, woman intuition?

"Like I said, before, she just asked what Hayama's college choice was, and how to make chocolate; all fairly reasonable requests. This time, her request is much more direct and personal, that's why she doesn't want to involve Yukinoshita."

"So what is her request?"

"I'm afraid that I can't tell you that."

"Senpai you said that you're gonna tell me everything!" Isshiki pouts.

"I'm telling you everything that I'm allowed to. It's a clause in our agreement that I'll keep this a secret. This is the maximum that I can tell you. You have to understand, this is not me keeping from you, this is Miura keeping from you."

"So it's just you helping Miura-senpai to, like, get closer to Hayama-senpai."

"Yes yes, exactly."

"But senpai! I thought you are supposed to be on my side!"

"I don't remember agreeing to help you with Hayama or anything. If you want my help, make a request, although I would probably not accept it."

"But you accept Miura-senpai request."

"It's.. because of circumstances."

"Hmm.. something just doesn't feel right. Ah, I know! Why would you have a strategic meeting at such a fancy café restaurant? And the way you dressed, too; that's the nicest I have ever seen you dressed."

"Ah.. that is.. well.. I just kind of felt a bit fancy that day that is all." I try to squeeze out the words, knowing full well that this answer will not satisfy her.

"Senpai! It feels like you are still trying to hide something." Suddenly, Isshiki hammers her fist onto her other palm. "Oh..!"

Then she leers at me with a bone-chilling smile.

"Senpai~, don't tell me that you are trying to make a pass at Miura-senpai?"

"Pfft!" I choke on my drink.

"It's the perfect chance, right!? First, you have a mutual secret that only you guys know, and then you can use this as an excuse to spend time together, slowly build affection with Miura-senpai. Then afterward, you will make her realize that that spending time with you is much better than with Hayama-senpai and she will be head over heels for you. Isn't it right?

This girl is way too foxy for her own good; someday you are going to get stabbed in the back I tell you what.

"That definitely was not my intention."

"Then explain the fancy clothes and café! And don't give me the previous crap! Come to think of it, you changed your hair style, too. No matter how you look at it, you are definitely trying here!" Isshiki pouts. For some reasons, she looks rather annoyed.

I'm slowly being driven into a corner. What should I do? Come clean, or go with the flow. No there is no reason to tell her the original plan, because it will be fruitless after all.

"I- well…" I lower my head and look at the table.

"So it's true?"

"They are useless efforts anyway."

"So.. you like Miura-senpai."

"Mah.. I guess.. in a way…" I put on a bashful smile.

Silence takes over the scene for a while. At one point, Isshiki releases a sigh.

"Mah, this is actually quite a shock for me; to think that of all the people the one you have a crush on is Miura-senpai." Isshiki reveals a reluctant smile; I can't help but feel that she is somewhat disappointed.

"If you worry about Hayama, don't worry. It's never going to work in the first place." I say.

"Because you will steal Miura-senpai away from Hayama-senpai?"

"Not in a million years. Like I said before, she hates me; so no matter what I try, it's useless in the end."

"Then why are you even trying?"

"Well, I guess.. you miss 100% the shot you don't take." I can't believe I'm using this phrase.

"Heh.. I never thought that you have that much resolve."

"I'm full of surprises."

"You must really like Miura-senpai, huh?" Isshiki averts her gaze, her reluctant smile is still lingering. Somehow, it makes me feel uneasy.

"Anyway, like I said before, I might as well not tell you anything, because nothing will change, be it my relationship with Miura, or Miura relationship with Hayama. Nothing at all."

"Heh.. I wonder about that."

"Trust me, it's going to be like that in the end. Whatever scheme you have with Hayama, go ahead and knock yourself out."

"You seem awfully confident that nothing will happen."

"Of course, have I ever failed you before?"

"I, guess not."

"Told you."

"But senpai, you shouldn't get too carried away; this type of personal request, boys-meet-girls situation is ripped with opportunities to advance a relationship." She sounds almost like she is scolding me.

"Huh…"

"Not to mention… _you a_-_-dy _-_ceed-d o_-e y_- _now._ " Isshiki hides her eyes and lowers her tone in a way that I cannot make out her last sentence.

"What did you say?"

"Any-way!" She raises her tone. "Although you said you might as well not tell me, but I find this information to be quite useful."

"Is that so?"

"At least now I know who actually is the one I should watch out for."

What are you talking about? You and Miura have always been the front runners.

"So no matter what you do senpai, I won't give up!" Her smile is brimmed with energy now,

"Go for it." Seeing that, I can't help but crack a smile as well.

Her energetic smile suddenly changes into a smile full of allure, inadvertently makes my heart skip a beat.

"Therefore, wait for me, senpai."

"Ho.. okay." What a fox this girl is.

"See you later, senpai~"

With an abrupt goodbye so sweet that it might give me diabetes, she stands up and quickly leaves the café. Is she in a hurry or something?

Speaking of hurry, I also take a look at my clock; looks like there is still a bit of time before work.

…

Late night. Hikki's room.

I open the door to my room longing for a moment of solitude bliss, only to be let down by a sore sight. On the bed, my sister nonchalantly leans against the wall, playing on my my Vita-chan.

"Ah, okaeri Onii-chan." She greets me haft-heartedly; her eyes stay still on the screen.

"What do you want now?"

"I got bored so I thought I borrowed you game machine for a while."

"Well you got it now, just bring it to your room."

"Eh.. no way, I'm just playing for a while. It's such a hassle to bring it to my room then return it back to you. Plus, I will need your help in case I get stuck."

"Meh, whatever, just be quiet. I'm gonna be on my computer." I'm just glad that she is not here to interrogate me about Miyu.

We spend our time quietly like that while I indulge myself in the entertainment world of the internet.

…

"Onii-chan what you do think I should choose?" She hands me my Vita-chan

As I look at the screen, I realise she is playing one of my old gal games. It appears that she just arrives at a dialogue choice. The choices are (1) Confess to her, (2) Comfort her and (3) is the joke option. It's clear that the joke option is out of the window, it is so obvious; so the only possible choices are (1) and (2).

"It's number two." I say without hesitation while handing her back my Vita-chan.

"Eh..? I think that he should just confess to her."

"Don't be stupid. You still haven't had enough affection points, confessing now will only manage to scare her."

"No way, I still haven't had enough? This game is much more difficult than I expected."

The real question is why are you even playing this game? Do you realise that you are a completely wrong demographic for it? On top of that, why even the little sister route?

"Other games you have are too all over the place or too complicated; this one is easy to play. It's like reading a book but with pictures and sounds and music and voice acting, plus I get to make choices!"

"If you look at it that way."

"Ah, she seems happy. Thanks, Onii-chan!"

"Yeah yeah."

I get back to my laptop and enjoy some little leisure I have left.

…

"Ne Onii-chan…"

"What?" I give her a lazy response.

"What is your type?"

"That is such a random questions to ask."

"I'm just trying to be a supportive sister. Like, I need to know your preferences so that I know who to support."

"You don't have to go that far. Besides, I don't think I'm in a position to even have preferences."

"Hypothetically speaking, what if you are in that position?"

"Well…"

"It's fine. You can share it with your cute little sis, don't bottle it up."

"I guess… someone who is straightforward.. someone who is perceptive, and uh.." It feels like I'm wringing my brain for answers.

"Appearance-wise."

"Well.. I guess.. obviously a cute face and.. long hair?"

"Curly, wavy or straight?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Black hair or blonde hair?"

"I'm fine with both." Where are you even going with this?

"Do you like younger girls or older girls, or same age?"

"Eto.. younger girl, I guess?"

Komachi lets out a sigh.

"That girl doesn't exist."

"Obviously, those are just preferences. You can never find a perfect girl for you. That's just movie stuff."

"Oh come on. You need to be a little bit more positive."

"Heh, positive." I sneer at the word. "Listen to me, dear sister, expectation only leads to disappointment. Those who expect nothing, lose nothing."

"That's the Gomi-chan I know." The little sister reveals a light smile. "But you know, if you keep thinking that way, you may miss the chances that you never think you have."

"Hm. Such big words for a middle schooler." I crack a half-hearted smile.

"What can I say, I'm Onii-chan's little sis."

I pat her head, while she curls up with her eyes closeed like a little kitten.

"Don't miss your chances, Onii-chan." Her smile is so brilliant, like an old wizard passing his wisdom to his disciples.

"Yeah yeah."

"Well then, enough talk, back to game."

Don't miss my chances, huh? Let's see how it goes.

...

But that is as far as my thought can go at this point. After all, I'm already so mentally tired from dealing with Isshiki today that right now I just want some mindless fun. Before long, I realise that it's already past one o'clock.

"Komachi, it's late already so you should go back."

As I turn my eyes toward the bed, I can only see a frail, silent, steadily breathing body. My Vita-chan lies next to her now loosened hand, its screen is still brightly lit.

"Good grief." I pick up my Vita-chan, turn it off and put it on my desk. I look at the bed again, luckily she actually spares me some space.

I lie on the empty space and put the blanket on both of us. The comfortable warmth of the blanket and Komachi soon drags me into the world of dreams.

* * *

 **Sorry for the long wait. I decided to take a break for the first act and look for new inspiration, at least what I think is the first act. I will be back to schedule with 4 to 5 days per chapter again, so no worries on that part. Enjoy your new chapter, there's not much Miyu in this, but too much Miyu can get a bit boring.**

 **Anyway I decided that writing some IsshikixSenpai as well, so now we have the Miura-Hachiman-Isshiki triangle instead of the regular Yukinoshita-Hachiman-Yuigahama triangle.**

 **Edit: Just want to remind that this is still a Miura fic, so I assure you that there will be a lot more Miura action from now on so don't worry.**

 **Also, new OC character, Miura Kotomi, there is not much to reveal about her at this point but oh boy you guys are in for a treat.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Just want to remind that this is still a Miura fic, so I assure you that there will be a lot more Miura action from now on so don't worry.**

* * *

 **Chapter 8: Hikigaya Hachiman doesn't have many friends (part 2)**

Tuesday. Early morning. Hachi's room.

"Hachi~ Wake up. It's time for breakfast."

Those fleeting words of my mother throw me out of my seemingly eternal slumber, a grim realisation that another school day has begun. But somehow, a part of me still believes, actually more like wishes, that it isn't real. It's not real, this whole situation, please let me rest.

"Hachi! Wake up. Don't make me go in there."

It's real.

Using all my mind, I drag my still tired body upward. My palm subconsciously reaches my forehead, desperately tries to sooth the nauseating buzz that is still inside me. That's what you get for going against your biological function. Should I blame myself for my poor timing or blame the society? No, it's definitely the society, this morning-centric society. Do you know that half of the world population is night people? So why don't they try to accommodate people like me? I think to myself while scratching my eyelid.

But my morning grumpiness is soon interrupted by a sudden shift in movement. The piece of the blanket next to me bursts open, reveals a middle schooler with a fuzzy head. She lets out a tiring yawn as her dozy eyes struggle to open.

"Ah. Komachi's here too. Looks like I don't have to go your room to wake you up. Come down when you finish your morning routine, ok?"

"Yes, mom."

Both of us answer half-heartedly.

"I'm going first."

Despite still being fuzzy, she still manages to the hog a spot before me. Meh, it's not like I'm petty to enough to fight for bathroom order with a little girl, much less my little sister.

…

Lunch break. School.

The atmosphere has shifted.

It's almost like they just denied everything yesterday, pretended that it wasn't real, or they might just try to shake off the holiday vibe. But today, you can feel that everyone is trembling in fear, of their very inevitable demise.

That's right. Final exams.

Despite being a lunch break, most of the class utilise their time for revisions. They still split into familiar groups, but instead of mindless blabbering, they scramble their head into the open pages of the notes that look like a squad of military tapeworms standing in line. I am also the same, the only difference is that I am by myself. Hayama's clique is also the same, with Hayama once again a right leader, trying to salvage some knowledge into Tobe. Exams are going to take place in two weeks, students are getting impatient.

Yuigahama also doesn't have time to chit chat with me today, since she is also trying to save herself; so right now it's just me with my lunch and my note.

Bzzz.

Miura: [Actually let's meet at 5:30, same place]

Leaving just a simple confirmation, I put down my phone and continue with my merry day. What am I going to do until 5:30?

…

After school.

It is 5:20 at the moment, time passed by so fast when you were not paying attention. After school, I found myself lingering around the bookstore where I'm a regular. It wasn't an easy feeling to purposely kill time, plus the nagging feeling that I should have studied instead. I should have studied, I once thought to myself, I just needed to check the store for a little while, I once thought to myself; never mind, I'm here right now. I guess I will study when I'm home.

Standing in front of the mall, I sense an unsettling feeling creeping up my back. Waiting for a person is such an uncomfortable feeling, especially if that persona is Miura Yumiko. After "that incident", I have never spoken to her directly, and now it's making me feel nervous. What am I going to say? How am I going to act? I don't know. I'm getting freaked out. What is this, a date? Why am I getting freaked out like I'm on a date?

It's 5:30 at the moment and no Miura is in sight. Maybe she is busy after all; maybe she has to run an errand. She hasn't texted me anything of the sort, but knowing her, she probably won't even bother for at least five hours after the time. Anyway, in this case, maybe I should go, too, there is no point waiting right? Maybe a five-minute coffee break? Even if I'm late, I'm not so late that she would be mad at me, not like I care if she is mad or not, though.

It's 5:35 and I'm still standing there, by myself. Sunlight has begun to weaken and the color red starts invading the clouds. The uneasiness is taking over my body, I really should go. It's over, everything is over; love is dead. Let's get some coffee.

"Hikio."

My body twitches violently as the word goes through my body like a thousand watt of electricity . My head quickly turns around to see those familiar golden locks.

"D-did you just go out of the mall?"

"Yeah I did."

Her eyes are as fierce as usual when she throws those words at me. Has she always been this way or is she still angry with me?

She starts moving past me without saying a word, but her poppy fragrance seems to invite me in. Without a say, I start trailing behind her.

This is the first time I've ever walked with her while she's wearing her usual school uniform. Despite that, I would say her attire is a definite improvement; no sunglasses, no giant sun hat this time. Although this time, I would appreciate it if you had actually put them on; it would be worse if someone were to see us like this. I think to myself as my eyes are darting through the streets, scanning for any familiar faces.

Miyu stops, allowing me to catch up to her.

"Hikio."

"What is it?" I avert my gaze a little as I talk to her.

"I'm thinking that we should get something to eat. Do you have anything place in mind?"

"Why are you asking me? First of all, why are we even eating?"

"I still haven't had a chance to properly repay you. This is probably the last chance I can have with you before we're both busy with the finals."

"I see, but I think you should be more knowledgeable about this than me."

"I do have a few places, but I'm afraid that I might come across my friends there."

Valid concern. We cannot let that happen.

"If it's the place you know, my friends probably won't go there and your friends won't also 'cause you probably have no friend."

 _That is also a valid comment but do you have to be that straightforward?_

"So? Any idea?

"Well…" I scratch my chin. Please, do I look like the type that goes around town to broaden my horizon of the culinary world? There is a place that I have in mind, but god forbids me if I ever say that name to her.

"Sai.. ze?"

I blurt out those words without looking directly at her. The surprising silence intrigues my soul, urges me to find her eyes. There they are, just as I expect, those displeased green eyes full of prejudice.

 _Seriously, what's wrong with Saize?_

"Good grief~ can't believe that after all this time you are still into that place!"

"Like you said, you don't want your friends to see us. I don't think any of your friends would go Saize."

Miura is deep in thought.

"I guess your right. Remember that it's my treat; so it will be your own fault for recommending such a cheap place."

"It's alright, I like Saize."

"Yeah you do." Miyu sounds like she is scolding me.

"So it's decided?"

"Hm! I guess we can go there." Miura exclaims as she performs a classic condescending hair flip.

…

As we walk into the Saize, we can feel the atmosphere shifts. As now is around dinner time, the restaurant is running in full gear. Since Saize is a family restaurant, there are a couple of families there as well, with children. The surrounding is definitely the louder than usual. No matter how you see it, this is definitely not a type of place for a date. I'm just speaking hypothetically; because this is not really a date so it is no bother.

But why is inside of my body is shaking? I'm walking around, dreading to see her reaction. I gulp down my own saliva, my body is getting hot as I slowly glance to Miyu, ready myself for a face of complete and utter disappointment.

But she's not. She's not actually brimming with awe, but she's not actually disappointed either. Her gaze darts from place to place, to the chairs and tables, to the ground, to the counter, to ceiling, to the lights. It's almost as if she is looking for something.

We pick a seat, a four-person cubicle. Both of us have come to a mutual and silent agreement: no window seat.

Miyu picks up a Grand menu and starts checking it out, prompting me to do the same.

"Hikio, what did you pick?" She asks me after a while.

"I think I'll have the Chicken Spinach Gratin."

She just gazes at me for a while; if you are going to make fun of my selection, at least be quick about it.

"That's it?"

"Yes?"

"You should pick more you know. At least pick a soup or a salad or something."

"I don't really need it or anything."

"Just do it!"

Fine, it's your treat after all.

"Let's see." I flip the menu to salad section.

"Hm…" But there is nothing that piques my interest.

"Actually, I will have the Shrimp Salad so you can just pick a soup." Miyu says.

"Ah, well…"

"There is.. Clam Chowder. Don't know if you like it or not."

Miyu gives a whimsy suggestion, but I have a feeling that I should take her up this time.

"Yeah I will have that."

"By the way, I'm having the Vegetarian Pasta. Oh yeah, we should have some bread and dessert as well."

As Miyu is scanning through the menu, I suddenly feel that something is particularly out of place here.

"We can share the bread, how does Garlic Baguette sound?"

"Sounds good." I decide not to put much thought into it.

"And dessert…" Miyu looks through the menu again." Hm… have you tried the Panna Cotta?"

"Well, no."

"Seriously? Fine then, I'll make an exception, we can both order this. It's seriously good."

"That's fine."

"It's settled then."

With no hesitation, Miyu pushes the buzzer on the table. This buzzer will inform the server to come to the table to pick up orders. But that's not the point.

Before long, the server comes and jolts down the order as told. Everything is going smoothly.

But when she leaves, the silence takes over the scene again. I sit on one end and Miyu sits in the other, resting her chin on her palm. I feel a strange urge to say something, but what? This is not like me at all. Why should I waste my energy on pointless conversations? People always talk about the most pointless stuff, about their pets, about their days, about gossips, about talentless celebrities… They talk and talk to fill the void that is silence, because it is a natural thing to do, because it is somehow wired in our biological programming. How absurd. Silence to me is nothing but void, it is peace, it is endless possibilities.

But why am I feeling this pressure now? It's disgusting, I want to vomit. The silence has betrayed me; without the sound to fill the space, my mind starts drifting away from reality. With Miyu right in front of me, I suddenly think of her, to that day.

"Want some drinks?"

My thought is cut short, for some reasons it feels somewhat relieving.

"Y-yeah."

"What do you like?"

"Just Coke is ok"

"Ok. I'll be right back."

My head drops to the table as she walks out the table. I let out a sigh like a deflating balloon. Silence fills the surrounding again, but this time, it is amazingly satisfying. This is the silence I know, this is the silence I love.

Miura quickly comes back with two glasses of Coke. She is actually successful. You don't order soft drinks in Saize, there is a drink bar where you go to grab drinks, kind of like a vending machine.

I have had a lingering suspicion for a while since we walked in here, but this is the last straw for me.

"Miyu."

"What?"

"Don't tell me.. that you've been here before?"

"Heh!" Her face becomes flustered.

Miyu averts her gaze; her finger is swirling around her golden locks.

"It was.. a long time ago! I went here a couple of times when I was still a child."

Her face is pointing away from me, but her green eyes are taking a peek at me, as if anticipating a reaction from me. I also watch those eyes closely; in fact, they just blinked two times just after she said those words.

"I see." So she went here before when she was young. Still, it is quite astonishing that she has actually been here before.

"Ah, I almost forget."

She puts in her hands into her bag and takes out a small bottle and hand it to me.

"This is.. hair gel?" I utter those words as I'm carefully examining the labels. It also looks like it was just freshly brought from the store.

"Just in case you don't have one yet."

"Th-thanks."

"It's nothing." Her voice is a bit smaller than normal and her eyes stare blankly into the air.

"Do you know how to style it?"

"Well, you never show me how."

"It can't be helped. I intended to teach you that the other day, but then you-"

We both look away from each other.

Now you say it. Now my mind is filled with memories of "that day" again, of what happened in her room. Blood is running to my face as the image is becoming more and more vivid.

I take a peek at Miyu only to see Miyu also peeking at me. Her cheeks are also flustered.

"Hentai." Her word is cold as steel.

"I'm sorry."

Now the atmosphere is becoming even more awkward.

Miyu coughs loudly.

"Anyway. I can show you how right now. Even though there is no mirror here, but you can just feel it with my fingers."

With no warning, Miyu reaches over the table and caress my scalp with her fingers again. I feel a shiver runing down my spine a like an electric current. But that is not even the main course. Because she is reaching over, I am now having a full view of her from the neck down, and did I mention that she doesn't button her top button?! What the hell am I seeing at the moment? _It's pink again,_ arghh _!_

"Can you feel where my hands are?"

"I can see them! I mean feel them!" _No I can't!_

This is not just one second of her reaching over and flicking my forehead. This has been going on for much longer than I'm comfortable with. I shouldn't do this; I should look away, for a bit.

But it's fine, right? After all, there is nobody who can spot us. I'm sure that that none of Miyu's friends wants to come to this place, and like she said before, since I have no friend, I shouldn't have any problem as well. We can do almost whatever here.

"So you just run your hand like this. Get it?"

But that is, only if, her hypothesis is true.

"Hikio?"

As flawless as her reasoning is, there is one major flaw.

"Are you even listening to me?"

It's true that I have no friend, but it's also true I have people that I'm acquainted with.

"Where are you even looking?"

It's a bird… It's a plane… It's a white ponytail!

Kawasaki Saki!

She's glancing directly at us, Miyu also notices her at this point. Despite trying to appear calm, you can tell that her eyes are wide open. But Saki recoups her cool just in time, and nonchalantly walks away.

I feel a smack on my arm. Out of instinct, I take a look at Miyu. With her fiery eyes as expected, Miyu points out of the table

"Go get her!" She screeches.

 _Not again!_

…

And now there are three people; Kawasaki and I sit on one side and Miura sits on the other. I guess it makes sense since these twos don't like each other much. But that's not the point! So I managed to invite Kawasaki to eat with us, out of Miyu order; but after that, I have no idea what is her next step. I'm not a mind-reader, you know.

Once again, the awkward atmosphere falls on the three of us.

"Looks like I interrupt your date." Kawasaki's first sentence, absolutely savage.

"Don't be stupid! This is not a date!" Miyu frantically responds. " This is just.. Hikio! Explain the situation to her."

"Eh-" Way to dump the responsibility Miyu.

I release a sigh to calm myself a bit.

I went to the public library to study for the finals, and met Miura there who were also studying for the finals. She was stuck at some problems so I offered to help. Even though at first she was reluctant, but she gradually accepted and I helped her with her problems. So as a gratitude, she took us here for dinner while continuing discussing school materials for the finals.

"Yeah that's pretty much the whole story. There is not much to it, though." Miura goes along with the plan.

"I see." Kawasaki responds.

"I asked him because he's actually pretty good at Japanese, you know?"

"I know that."

"How do you know?"

"We went to cram school together."

"So he helped you with your school work, too?"

"That's.. none of your concern." Kawasaki seems a bit taken aback. She breaks her gaze with Miyu and gulps down her tears.

Meanwhile, Miyu is still looking at Kawasaki, like a boxer looking for an opening. Her fingers are subconsciously turning her glass of pop around its coaster.

"By the way, just don't tell anybody in class about this, ok?" With a demanding tone, she directs those words at Kawasaki.

"Why shouldn't I?" Without looking at Miyu, Kawasaki delivers her sharp and deadpan response.

"Huh?!" And with that, the trigger is flipped.

"Are you so dense or what?!" Miyu continues. "Of course you shouldn't tell everyone! What would the class think if they find out I hung out with this rotten-eyed creep?!"

"I don't see how you could call the person who helped you a creep," Kawasaki responds with a still calm and stern voice, but that only ticks off the Fire Queen even more.

"You! It's none of your business!"

"If he's good enough to hang out with you now, why is he not good enough to hang out in the class?" Kawasaki's attacks keep coming and coming, it has become a whipping flurry.

"It's more complicated than that!" Miyu flips her hair. "Hm! But I guess a girl like you cannot possibly understand my position." A formidable counterattack.

"I'm glad that I don't. Why would I want a position of an entitled, spoiled brat?" Eying down her opponent, a direct hit from Kawasaki!

"What did you say?!" Miyu growls at her.

Stop, stop! If I had a whistle, I would blow it right now.

"You guys are disturbing other people." I decide to butt in, only to be stared down by two pairs of eyes.

"She started it!"

"You are the one who is shouting."

"Hey, look. Kawasaki, it's fine. I don't really care about those things. She's right, her position is different than us. I understand it, I'm sure you understand it, too, right?"

"Mah…"

Kawasaki gives a boring respond, but I can tell that much that she is full of detest. It's fake, it's superficial, it's just a form of social enslavement, I know all of that. But am I even worthy enough to criticise that, while I am myself is the same? In the end, everyone one is looking out to protect themselves; it's just that everyone all have different coping mechanics, even me.

"But that's no way to treat a friend." Kawasaki laments.

Friend? That again. Are Miyu and I friends? I still haven't been able to answer that question.

"It doesn't matter. I like it that way, too."

"If you say so, then I guess…" Kawasaki seems a little flustered. "It's not like there is any opportunity to bring that up."

I know. Kawasaki is not the type of girl who just goes to class and starts telling everyone about everything.

I take a look at Miyu to reassure her that everything is fine, only to be greeted with her death glare. _What? What did I do? Everything is going smoothly, right? Why are you still angry?_

"Let's just enjoy our dinner, ok?" I deliver the final closure.

And thus dinners came. There was not much human interaction, but at least this time we could justify ourselves since we were too busy stuffing our faces. Unlike us, Kawasaki only ordered a pasta dish, so she was quite amazed that we had such a lavish dinner.

"Hikio, how is the clam chowder?"

"It's good."

"See, I- I mean, sure, whatever."

Dessert time, but then it's kind of awkward since only Miyu and I are having dessert.

"H-hey." Miyu calls out.

"You're talking to me?" Kawasaki responds.

Looking blanking in the air, Miyu words are somewhat disjointed.

"You.. wanna bite at my Panna Cotta?"

I'm shocked, completely dumbfounded, and so is Kawasaki. Why did she say that? Does she realise that her request is unreasonable after all, and try to make amend with Kawasaki?

"Eh.. I'm fine." Kawasaki doesn't seem to know what the right response is.

"It's rude to turn people down when they offer you food you know?"

"F-fine then. Thanks."

"Anyway, th-thanks for keeping this a secret." Miyu is also getting flustered.

"I'm not doing it for you."

"Just accept it, ok!" Miyu pouts.

It's close to 7:00pm now and we are currently resting our stomachs. There are not many words being exchanged but the atmosphere is more peaceful than I thought, at least when compared to the beginning.

"I should go now." Kawasaki starts speaking.

"Part-time job?" I ask.

"Yeah."

"What kind of job are you working at this hour?" Miura asks. "Don't tell me…!"

"She's a bartender." I interrupt before she might say something upsetting.

"But your still in high school."

"It's complicated. I'll tell you later." Hopefully never.

"Well then, I think we should go, too." Miyu says.

In the end, I still paid for my portion, since it would get too suspicious if Miyu had paid for it. Looks like her plan is busted once again.

We are out of the building at the moment. The sky has dropped dark and Kawasaki has left. Seeing her figure slowing disappearing into the night, I can't help but think about the words she said.

 _Friends_

As we walk through the streets, I call out to her.

"Miyu."

"What?"

The words are on the tip of my tongue, but cannot escape.

"If you have some say to say, just say it."

I'm hesitating. Why is it so difficult to say it out loud?

"Are we friends?"

I said it, I said with all my might. What am I afraid of? What is it that is dreading me to say those words? At this point, it's not much different than a confession. The stake is there, that feeling of rejection is imminent.

But Miyu is just there, staring at me for a second. Her expression is hard to make out.

"What kind of dumb question is that?" She utters those cold words while looking straight ahead.

So I guess it's a no then.

"Seriously, who ask that question?" She sounds annoyed.

Stop it, please. You don't have to rub it in.

"I mean, why do you even have to ask? Friends are friends, you know? If you talk to each other frequently, you are friends; if you hand out with each other, you are friends; if you have fun together, you are friends; simple as that What, did you ask Yui if she was your friend or something?"

"I didn't."

"Then why are you asking me?"

"Ok, I get it."

This girl. Despite such crude response, I can't help but feel relieved. What are friends? That is the question that plagues me for a long time, but I have been trying to answer a different question. I'm a loner, I always have problems making friends. To me, friend is something that is unattainable, a rare specimen. That is why, to me it becomes a complex entity that requires a plethora of criteria to be fulfilled, something that cannot be understood so easily, a way to justify my own incompetence.

But to Miyu, friend is just as simple as that, as simple as breathing and eating. It's a natural course of life; it goes around, comes around, sometimes without you noticing it. It's so simple it almost makes me jealous.

"Then, are you having fun?" I ask her again.

Her cheeks are slightly blushed, her gaze is still straight ahead but slightly pointing downward a bit.

"Mah mah... somewhat..." Her voice is as light as the wind.

I crack a light smile. First Saki, now this. Miyu, you are actually really sweet you know that?

"H-huh?!"

Eh? Her cheeks are bright red, even though her eyes are trying to hide her embarrassment. Did I just say that out loud?

"What was that?! Are you an idiot?! Gross!"

"It's nothing."

I give a brief response as I'm trying to look away. Not good, blood is running to my face again.

Afterward, she just pouts all the way as I'm silently trailing alongside her. The cool night air seems to make the silence more comfortable, at least that's what I think.

"My station is over there." Miura stops and turns to me.

Under in the warm street light, her eyes are even more shimmering than usual. The early spring night is chill, maybe it's not such a bad idea to walk under the night for a bit.

"I'll walk you home."

"Ok."

* * *

 **A/N: I intended to introduce Kotomi in this chapter, but it turns out to be much longer than I thought. Well then, definitely next chapter.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: Hikkimonogatari**

Wednesday. School. Lunch break.

It's lunch break again and the atmosphere is not much different compared to yesterday, full of knowledge. Of course, I don't mean it in any way sincerely, since I, and almost everybody else, know that 90% of this "knowledge" that we are trying to cram into our head will soon be utterly meaningless. But this is the world we are living in, and for better or worse this is a milestone that any lucky enough child has to pass. Just think of it like the endless grinding to get one piece of the supremely rare material so that I can craft the ultimate weapon. No, at least the holy sword of darkness still has some merits to it, unlike passing some arbitrary exams with an arbitrary marking system set by an arbitrary organisation.

As I'm taking a break from my lunch-time revision, my eyes are naturally drawn to the sight of Miyu and her group. There they are, just as I expect, half-assing their revision for some friendship bonding. Just a piece of advice, self-studying is best studying. They probably realise it, too, no doubt about it. They probably just don't want to study, they just want to bask into the pretense that they are doing something productive.

"Ah, I see it now. Thank you, Hayato."

The heartening words of Miyu somehow found my ears; maybe I have gotten too used to her voice. She emits radiance around her when she's with Hayama, a smile so bright that I could never receive by myself. This is nothing out of the ordinary; it is just the same as usual. In fact, just a month ago it wouldn't even faze me at all.

I drop my head to the table, feeling a bit out of breath. The memory of yesterday is still vivid, but at the same time seems like a dream. Yesterday's Miyu and today's Miura, they are a two different people; it's ridiculous.

Speaking of yesterday, I also take a glance at Kawasaki. It seems like she stays true to her words. She is definitely not the talkative type like me, and of course, chooses to revise her material by herself. I can see that she must be busy from all the work, I don't think she can afford some extra distraction from group studying.

Yuigahama, on the other hand, at first seemed very eager, but then got sidetracks super easily. Get a grip, will you? But Tobe is even worse, I think he completely zoned out at this point, he just refuses to let any more knowledge drill into his head. The only people who appear to be semi-serious are Miura and Ebina; meanwhile, Hayama is still struggling to keep the group from spiraling way out its original purpose.

With my face still lying flat on the table and shielded by my arms, I spare a tiny peek with the corner of my eyes.

That girl, that happy, joyful Miura when she's with Hayama, she is not the same.

She's so different.

The feeling just won't go away.

…

Evening. Hikigaya's Residence.

"Tadaima…" Dragging myself through the front door, I recite my usual boring greeting for a millionth time.

"Okaeri, Onii-chan." Another usual boring response bounces back at me.

I walk past the living room and head straight to the kitchen, barely taking a glance at the figure of a middle schooler sitting leisurely on the couch. She is fixating on one of her dumb magazines again while the sound of TV is prattling relentlessly in the background. Focus on one thing at a time you idiot.

"If you are going to read that, turn off the TV." I scold her.

Mah, even though I said so, I'm actually guilty of the exact crime. Truth be told I'm just trying to find an excuse to mess with her right now. But the real victim is the television itself; poor thing, you used to be the quintessential device for entertainment in every modern household; now you are just a background noise generator.

"Sure sure."

Even I can see in myself that I am a bit more cranky than normal today. Seeing her so carefree and ignorant, I just want to come over and yank at those twin tails.

…

Wait, what?

I take a glance at the figure on the couch again; she's looking at me with an unusual innocent look. It is certainly a middle school girl but…

"How is your day, Onii-chan?" She speaks with a tone almost too casual.

 _Who the hell are you?_

"What are you talking about? I'm your cute little sister, you silly."

 _Who the hell are you?! My little sister would never speak at me like that!_

My breathing becomes disjointed and sweat is forming in the back of my neck. I take a look at my surrounding again. Nope this is definitely my house. Did I happen to be transported to a parallel dimension? This is supposed to be a rom-com, right?

"Mah, I'm pretty sure you're not my sister."

"What do mean I'm not your sister? Mo, Onii-chan you are being strange today." However joyful her voice is, her delivery is as bland as water; you won't convince anyone with that.

I find myself scratching my own chin while looking at the floor. Have I actually gone mad? No way, this is not even the last week before the finals.

"So you're saying you're my sister."

"Of course!"

"What's my birthday?!" I grunt out the words.

"August 8th!"

"What's my favourite drink?"

"MAX Coffe."

"What's my favourite food?"

"Hamburg steak."

"What's my least favourite food?"

"Tomato."

"How many game consoles do I own."

"Two."

"What are they?"

"A Nintendo Gamecube and Vita-chan."

Vita-chan?! She even knows my nickname for her?

"Then…" This final question will definitely drive her into a corner. "What is my fetish?"

"Sister Complex!" She says those words with a bright smile.

 _Sister my ass!_

"Onii-chan!" A distressed voice comes from the hallway.

As I turn my head, I notice another middle schooler looking like she's in shock. Her upper body is taken aback, her eyes are watery and the back of her hand is covering her mouth. Why are there two little sisters?

"I can't believe it! How can you cheat on your little sister with another little sister like that?! Who is she?!"

Who is she?! Why don't you answer the question yourself?!

I can feel one of my eye twitching as I'm forced to observe this stupidity unfolding in front of me. Any second of this and I might actually go mad, in both meanings.

"I'm going up."

Just as I thought a glass of orange juice would somehow satiate my school day's exhaustion, now I have lost my appetite. Never mind, I'm just going to lock myself in my room for rest of the night. Ah, how nice it would be if she actually let me go through with it.

"Eh, you are no fun, Onii-chan! Come, stay with us for a while." Of course not, I lament to myself as Komachi snatches my wrist.

If there is one thing I'm weak against, it's my little sister's words. Damn, there should be some sort of drawbacks to being that cute, right?

I reluctantly drop my body to an armchair as Komachi sits beside my so-called "little sister" on the couch. Hm, this is probably the first time Komachi bring a friend back home. Whatever, I'm just glad that it's not that Kawasaki boy.

"What do you think of our little prank? We got you good, didn't we?" Komachi cracks a hearty smile.

"It's completely idiotic."

"Mah, you said that but your face was like totally confused."

No no you misunderstand, it's just my face realising how absurd the whole situation was.

"Beside…" This time, Komachi turns to the middle schooler. "I actually thought your reaction would be better."

"What do you mean?" She says.

"It's my Onii-chan. Don't you recognize him?"

"Hmm…" With her default, polite smile, the middle schooler has her full view at me. Hey there, if you stare at me for that long, even I'm going to get embarrassed.

"AH!"

Her whole body erects straight up and her index finger points hard at me:

"YOU'RE YUMI-NEE'S BOYFRIEND!"

"Wha-who-?" What is this insane girl talking about?

The middle schooler is also gasping air in shock. But before I'm able to ask any question, she turns to Komachi.

"You knew this, Komachi?!" She grabs both of Komachi's hands.

"Of course! Hehe." Komachi's grin has reached maximum overdrive.

"Hohoho I can't believe it! Does it means with we are going to be sisters?!"

"Hey, hey there…"

I interrupt their merry conversation as my mind still cannot decipher the situation right now.

"What is going on?"

"E-hem." Komachi goes behind the middle schooler and places her hands on the other's shoulders. "Allow me to introduce, her name is Kotomi."

Kotomi? Where have I heard this name before?

"Nice to meet you, Onii-chan!"

"Actually, even though I said introduce, you actually met her once already. You know, on that date with the blonde Onee-san." She tops it off with a sneering smile.

"You are Miyu's sister?"

"Miyu?!" Kotomi's eyes light up, "Is that's like a super cute nickname?! I'm definitely gonna use it on her."

No please don't. If you do, she will know that I meet up with you. I can't imagine that will be good for me.

"By the way, I'm not her boyfriend."

"Ah yeah, sorry about that. I misunderstood." She responds with a hearty smile.

That is suspiciously easy.

"Is that so?"

"I mean, if secret dating play is your thing then I guess.. It's ok, I will play along."

It's true that what we are doing is supposed to be a secret, but it is in no way dating. Also, don't add the word "play" after it like it's some sort of fetish!

"No, I really mean it."

"It's ok, I believe you. No need to make a fuss out of it."

This is useless. No wonder that Miyu wasn't able to correct her.

"By the way, what is your name, Onii-chan?"

"It's Hikigaya. Hikigaya Hachiman. Also, you don't have to call me Onii-chan anymore. The prank is over."

"Then, nice to meet you, Hikigagi-san."

"Wrong."

"Hikiragi-san?"

"Try again."

"Akiragi-san?"

"You've gone even further away."

"Araragi-san!"

"That's not even remotely close."

"Sorry, my tongue slips!"

No, you don't, unless you have a black hole in your mouth or something.

"That's mean." Kotomi pouts.

That's what you get for being a smartass.

"Mo, I think I will just stick with Onii-chan."

"You sure?"

"Totally! Here I go, Onii-chan~"

My heart skips a beat.

"Go fetch me a glass of orange juice you useless piece of meat!"

 _Onii-chan! Not slave!_

"Oops, my tongue slips again!" Kotomi sticks her tongue out in a ditzy manner. Did Komachi teach you this? She definitely taught you this.

Oh god, I can't handle this. One little sister is already enough for me, but this one seems to be on another different level.

"Hehe you're funny, Onii-chan. I like you." Kotomi smiles, "I'll let you marry Yumi-nee."

"I'm not going to marry her." My voice is straight and clear.

"Then, you want to marry me instead?"

Don't say such thing with an innocent looking face like that.

"Eh, no-"

"Then, it can't be!" Kotomi appears to be in shock. "You want to marry Yumi-nee then commit adultery play with me?!"

I change my mind. Please never hang out with Komachi ever again! At worst, I will gladly trade her with the Kawasaki boy.

"Can I go now?"

"Of course not!" Kotomi speak with a cheery smile. "There are so many things I want to ask you. Like first thing first, how did you meet my sister?"

"Well, for starter, she is my classmate. But we didn't start hanging until recently."

"Hoho I see." She smiles mischievously.

"It's nothing special. I'm a member of a club called the Service Club, basically, we are a club that does odd jobs for others students. Miyu just happens to be one of those who asked for our services."

"So what did she ask you?" Kotomi body inches toward me with eyes filled with anticipation.

I wonder if Kotomi knows about Hayama or not. Miyu said Hayama has never been to her place, which means there is a high chance that she doesn't know about Hayama. Either way, I did promise to keep her request a secret. Have you ever decided to spill the bean for one seemingly irrelevant individual only to found out that the secret has already spread out like plague? Yeah, I learnt it the hard way.

"It's a secret." I arrive at my conclusion.

"Eh, no way!" Her voice is filled with disappointment. "Come on, just a little hint is okay."

"No matter what it is, listen here Kotomi. That is the extent of my relationship with Miyu, that is a service provider and a client; a purely professional relationship."

"Purely professional huh?" She narrows her eyes.

"Exactly."

"Well then, tell me Onii-chan, what kind of professional personnel call his client _Miyu_?"

"Gkr-"

I avoid her gaze. Come to think of it, when did I start calling her Miyu? At first I just simply did it out of spite, but now it has already become natural for me.

"And embraced each other in the middle of the street?" She continues

"I was trying to save her from some delinquents."

"Yeah yeah I heard this story before." She flaps her palm left and right, full of dismissal.

That's because it is the actual truth. What am I going to do?

Suddenly, I can feel an imaginary light bulb flash up above my head. All this time, I was too fixating on correcting her, even though that is not my ultimate purpose. The end game goal is for her to not spread any false rumor; as long as she shuts her mouth, it doesn't matter what she believes in.

"Kotomi."

"What is it, Onii-chan?"

"We are currently happy with things as they are now. So I'm begging you, for our sakes, please don't reveal this information to anyone."

Kotomi's face freezes for a moment.

"Heh.." She sneers. "Is this how it is, Onii-san?"

What's with the sudden shift in tone?

"Of course, I can promise whatever, but there is no guarantee that I definitely won't tell anyone." Kotomi lowers her tone to a sinister one and covers one of her eyes with her fingers. "If you really want the secret, you and I have to form a proper unbreakable contract, bound by BLOOD! Komachi, get the knife."

Please talk normally from now on! And no, you sit down, Komachi.

"You don't want it?" She asks with an innocent face.

"I don't want any cutting."

"Cutting is not the only method, you know." Kotomi starts fidgeting around, "If you want, you can also have my blood, down there."

 _I don't want your blood!_

"Like I said, just don't tell anyone, you hear?"

"Okaaay!" She speaks with a carefree attitude.

"Ah, Onii-chan, so you do go out with Yumiko Nee-san." Komachi decides to butt in.

Komachi, I love you, but can you please be quiet for a moment? Also, Yumiko Nee-san? How can you even address someone by their first name while still haven't even met them, officially that is?

"Let's talk about something else." I don't want this issue to be further escalated.

"Hm…" Komachi is deep in thoughts. "Ah, talk about the Service Club, there's also Yukinon-san and Yui-san. Kotomi, you should meet them sometime in the future. They are real interesting people!"

"Is there only two more people in your club, Onii-chan?" Kotomi asks.

"Technically, but there is also Isshiki who hangs out with us frequently. She's just a first year but she's also the Student Council's president."

"They are all girls, right?"

"Well, I would say so."

"Onii-chan, aren't you really popular with girls?" She speaks with a smile.

"Not really." I avoid her gaze. "I just play with them."

She suddenly drops her tone.

"So you are just _playing around_ with them, I see."

"Ya, Onii-chan is the playboy like I thought he is." Komachi joins in.

Don't alter the tone to make it sound like something completely different, you twerps!

"Don't you have to go home or something?" I attempt to switch the subject again.

"You're right, Onii-chan! I think I should go."

Both little sisters start shuffling their way to the front door. As Kotomi is putting on her shoes, she turns around to me.

"See you later, Onii-chan!" She smiles, "I'm definitely gonna talk to you again."

"I'll see you in a minute, Onii-chan." Komachi also says her goodbye.

As the door slams shut, the surrounding is filled with my long awaited blissful silence. I let loose my neck muscle, only to find my face staring straight at the ceiling. I release a big sign.

Miyu, I understand your pain now.

Good grief.

* * *

 **A/N: This Kotomi is heavily inspired, more like an exact carbon copy of another Kotomi from another anime. Can you guess who it is? Find out in the next episode of Dragonbal- I mean next chapter. ^_^**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: The majority of you are right, it's that Kotomi! She's my second best imouto, so I thought, why not have two of my best imouto together, it will be a blast. I'm glad you guys like the character.**

* * *

 **Chapter 10: Idiots and Tests and Glasses.**

Friday. Evening. Shopping District.

Here I am, at the shopping district. Even though it's approaching finals, I still have my part-time job. They decided to let me off on the week of the finals and the week before, although if I begged for it, they would probably let me off this week too; but something in me decided that it wasn't a very good idea. I guess it is time for my conscience to start harassing me. So today, I decided to spend time at the public library until my shift started, and then just took off from there, probably did some studying in the meantime. It's the perfect plan.

But first, I guess I will just check out the game store for a bit. No big deal, I'm just there to check if they have any new games, it's not going to take long.

…

"Hegh!"

I take a look at my phone, it has been half an hour since I came to the game store. I really should get going now.

As I come outside, the early spring air whizzes through my every hair strand, sending a chill through my body. Sunlight streaks on the surface of the streets and coats them with a solemn orange colour. The smell of a nearby yakitori stand trails faintly in the air, arouses my senses. The sound of the footsteps clatters around; it is certainly busy, but at the same time, strangely silent. An ordinary evening, I might say; but what's coming next is not very ordinary; because of the final exams of course.

I drag my feet on the concrete surface, trying my best to stall the time. The airy wind that once seared my skins has become somewhat pleasant. I let my eyes subconsciously scanning through the flow of people in front of me as an attempt to fill up my focus.

"Hikio."

The sudden word gives me a light scare. That voice and that nickname can only belong to one person only.

Turning my head around, I once again see a face that I'm familiar with, maybe a bit too familiar at this point. Her golden locks flow lightly in the wind, and her glossy green eyes gaze down at me, looking a bit annoyed.

"Miyu." I try to greet her in a casual manner, but can't help myself from sounding unsurprised.

"I know that we should avoid seeing each other in public, but don't just ignore your classmate like that." Her voice is sharp, but light enough to be carried away by the wind.

"I don't quite get what you say."

"I saw you looking at me but then you just turn away and keep going. Where are your basic manners?" Miyu puts her hands on her waist while scolding me.

"Uh.. no.. I don't think I ever saw you. In fact, you are the one that surprised me."

"But you were clearly looking at my direction." She raises her tone.

"Where were you before?"

"Over there."

Miyu points to the other side of the street.

"Make sense." I exclaim. "Sorry about that. My eyes are a little bad that is all; so I might actually not see you."

"Hm? You are short-sighted?"

"Only a little. I can still see the board just fine so I don't really need any glasses."

Without noticing, I find myself walking alongside Miyu in broad daylight. I have walked with her like that a couple of times ago, but this is probably the earliest time frame; not to mention that we are just casually chatting to each other, something that wouldn't even register in my train of thought just a month ago.

"Is that so?" Miyu seems to let her thoughts wonder a bit, as her index finger scratches lightly on her chin.

"AH!" Her body straightens up, her words are filled with excitement.

I'm slightly taken aback but before I'm able to do anything, she already snatches my upper sleeve.

"Hikio, let's get you a pair of glasses!" Her emerald eyes are sparkling and her smile is blooming like she just solves a challenging puzzle.

"Eh.. I told you I don't need any."

"You don't understand. If you leave your eyes like that, they're gonna get worse over time. Even if it's just a little, but you have to take precaution immediately."

"But…"

"It's alright, I will pay for it. Ah, it's will be my repayment as well, too. Okay?"

"I still don't think it's necessary."

Miyu flips out her phone and starts punching the keys.

"Let's see. Where is the nearest glasses store?"

She seems to be in her world now and is full gear ahead. I don't understand; why does she get so worked up over glasses?

Realising that my words won't be able to reach her at the moment, I can only gaze at her. That's with those eyes and smile full of excitement? And just before that is another dazzling smile. This the first time she ever smiles to me like that, I suppose; for some reasons, just thinking about it makes me chest hurt.

"There is a Zoff* not that far from here. Let's go, Hikio."

Miyu takes a couple of strides forward before noticing that I'm still rooted to the ground, dumbfounded and unconvinced. Looking a bit agitated, she walks back to me. Despite not knowing her for very long, I can somewhat guess what is her next course of actions.

"Come on, let's go."

Miyu grabs hold of my wrist and pulls me forward.

?!

"Hey, wait-"

It's not the force of her arm that takes me off guard; it is the fact that Miyu just grabs my wrist by herself. What are you doing? How can you do this to a boy you just barely know? Here I was, fully expected that you would just throw a couple of fly arguments with an intimidating tone. If you grab my arm like that, how am I supposed to go against you now?

Once again the temperature of my body is rising and an unnerving sensation is crawling on my back. My eyes are scanning the streets relentlessly by instinct. I feel as if this type of situation is even more likely for us to bump into someone we know.

The streets are safe, but my heart still hasn't felt any relief. How can I when my wrist is being held by another girl, and not just any girl, it's the Queen Bee nonetheless?

"You can let go now." I speak up.

Her body flinches a little as she realises what she has been doing. Now she is feeling awkward as well.

"It's 'cause you're being too slow."

Although she tries to cover up with a sulky response, her body already gives it away. She's keep looking over her shoulder, her eyes are darting back and forth. Strangely, even though it's kind of awkward, the atmosphere is not that bad; maybe the warm setting sun helps mellow it out a little.

But as I don't have anything to talk anymore, I slow down my pace until I return to the familiar three-meter distance. For some reasons, Miyu notices and slows down as well. Now we are walking alongside each other again.

"Aren't you supposed to be in a hurry?" She scolds me.

"Why do you think so?"

"You have work today, right? If you don't hurry it up, you're gonna be late."

"I guess you're right." I respond with little urgency.

But what makes me wonder is the fact that Miyu actually remembers that, and the fact that she actually cares about me being late.

"I've just never thought that you actually care about other people." I'm sure you do, because when I said other people, I actually meant me.

"Hey, just what do you think of me in the first place?" Miyu narrows her eyes.

"Well, I have always thought you were a bitch." I say nonchalantly.

A stinging sensation on my upper arms causes my body to coil away by instinct; Miyu's fingers are currently digging deep into my skin.

"Ouch."

"How can you say that with such a straight face?" She looks so sullen it's almost charming.

Says the person who has insulted me more than I can count.

"That's because.. of circumstances. Besides, most of the time it's actually your faults."

"If it makes you feel better, it was a long time ago."

"Then, how about now?"

"You're cute now."

Her body flinches a little.

"Gross."

Despite being so crude, her cheeks are slightly flustered and she can barely look straight at me anymore.

"Anyway, just hurry up." Miyu says.

We continue walking for a bit, feeling the early spring breeze grazing on our skins. Her golden locks flutter in the wind while her poppy fragrance is swirling around me, stimulating my senses. The air is silent, but unlike the other day, it is not uncomfortable. Even through, I still feel a strange urge to make conversation, not to fill the silence, but because I am merely curious.

"Anyway, why are you even here?"

"You say like you don't want me to be here or something."

"I'm just asking what are doing at this place at that is all."

"I was going to study at the public library, but then I bumped into you, that's all."

"Why today?"

Why am I asking this question? No matter how much I try to deny it, in my mind, I'm expecting an answer.

"Well.. since you work today," Miyu looks like she's muttering to herself, "I thought that maybe I could meet you there at the library."

I feel a throbbing sensation rumbling in my chest. Don't say things that can cause misunderstanding like that.

"I see." It's the only thing I can muster to say, if I try to say too much, unnecessary things may slip out of my mouth.

"I mean.. It worked out pretty well before, so I thought that we could have another one."

"So why are we buying glasses now?"

"It can't be helped. This is an emergent matter, study can wait. Don't worry about timing, we will definitely get back to the library on time."

"But why are you so fixated on glasses? I told you I didn't really need any."

"Just trust me, ok? I'm telling you it's going to be great."

Color me intrigued, but I can't see how a pair of glasses is going to change anything. It's not like my reading speed or my memorising capability will increase with a pair of glasses, unless the shop owner is fat blue cat from the future.

"You will see it when you get there." Miyu responds with a confident smile. I have never seen her so excited before.

Soon after, the Zoff sign appears in front of our eyes. When we come in, we are greeted with aisles and aisles of large glass boxes with upon thousands of glasses frames inside. Every wall has been made into shelves, with glasses frames hanging just inches apart. Mah, it's not the first time I've ever been to a glasses store, there is this one time with Yuigahama, too. She also forced me to try on some glasses. For one of them, she said it looked terrible and for the other, I'm not even sure if she was just teasing me or not. There are well over ten people inside; I wonder if this is the norm for a Friday after work hour.

"Welcome!" One of the store's sales ladies greets us.

"Hello," Miyu talks to the lady, "my friend here needs a pair of glasses."

"Sure! Do you have a doctor's note?"

"No we don't have it."

"No problem we will measure your eyes for you, free of charge!"

The lady turns her smile toward me. "Right this way, sir!"

Both of us follow the lady until we reach the check-up place. I reluctantly sit on one of those medical chairs with a bunch of gadgets next to it while Miyu wanders off to check out glasses frames.

It's just a regular eye check like a regular health inspection from school, the result is pretty similar but I still have to do it, since I don't have any paper with me right now.

After a while, the check is finished and Miyu also returns with a couple of glasses frames.

"Try this." She says while handing one of those frames to me.

After I put it on, she stares at me intensely while scratching her chin. It's not the first time she observes me like a test subject, but no matter how many times there are, there is no way I can get used to this.

"Here." She hands me another one.

…

After trying out all of her collection, she finally settles with one.

"This one please." She gives the frame to the sales lady.

"Alright, I'll be back shortly!"

We sit on a sofa nearby, waiting for the lenses to be inserted into the frame. Time passes by rather slowly, as I'm sitting her with nothing to do, meanwhile Miyu, after sitting down, starts pulling out her phone and play with it. Nothing much is going on, we're pretty much just sitting in silence.

After a while, she suddenly turns towards me.

"By the way, Hikio!" She grunts those words at me.

"What?" Feeling uneasy, my voice is a bit reserved.

"You met my sister, haven't you?" Her voice is full of vice.

Her face comes a bit closer to mine. Even though you are trying to intimidate me, but the nervous feeling I have right now is something completely different.

"Well.. I-ah…" I look away from her.

"Hmm?!"

"It's.. less like that I met her, but more like she met me."

"Huh?! How does that even make a different?"

You see, when you said that I met her, it seems like I was the one who went out to meet her, when it was actually the other way around. Actually it's more like both of us were set up by my own little sister.

"But you still met her, right?" Miyu still maintains that sulky look.

"It couldn't be helped. Our sisters are friends, I'm bound to meet yours sooner or later."

Later? I wonder to myself what are other occasions where I can meet her. When she introduce me to her family? _What the hell are you thinking, Hachiman?_

Miyu signs, not a reaction I'm expecting, she looks more disappointed than infuriated.

"Can't believe she's my little sis."

Ah, it makes sense now. The reason that she doesn't want me to meet her is probably less on that she wants to protect her but more on that she doesn't want to tarnish her own name. I understand her reason completely.

"Don't be stupid. She may be a total idiot but that's the more reason that you shouldn't, I mean, you better not take advantage of her idiocy, you hear?"

I, too, understand that reasoning of yours perfectly.

"I think we are on the same page here."

"Huh?"

Now that I think of it, Miyu does have a tendency to protect people close to her, and now it makes even more sense that someone like Ebina is able to hang out with her. If she has a sister like Kotomi, someone like Ebina shouldn't trouble her that much.

"I won't do anything, trust me."

Her eyes are still sharp and wary, like a mother bear that won't calm down no matter how safe and sound her curbs are.

All of the sudden, I feel my phone vibrating in my pocket. Perfect, I need something to shift the subject. Hm, a mail from an unknown number?

[Yahallo, Onii-chan! It's your lovely sister Kotomi! I just send this message cause I have a feeling that you are thinking of me at the moment ^_^]

Are you some kind of demon?!

"Who is it?" Miyu's voice is cold and her body lean towards me bit

"It's my sister." I subconsciously turn my phone screen away from her sight.

"That doesn't look like a face of someone receiving a message from his little sis."

She leans over even closer, so close that her hair is grazing against my arm and her cologne is getting overwhelming. Hey, are you my girlfriend or something?!

"If it's just your sister then there is nothing to hide, right?" She grabs my wrist as I'm trying desperately trying to pull away.

"Wai-it's a bit of a private matter!" I utter the words on a whim.

"What private matter can you have with your little sis?! Don't tell me you're an actual siscon or something?!"

"Hey-wait.. no-just…" My mind is getting jumbled by her physical assault.

"Ahem, pardon me..?"

A strange soft voice interrupts the scene, which to me is no less than a voice of an angel. It's the angel sales lady, she's finally back with a pair of glasses.

"Here are your glasses." She says with a forceful smile.

"Ah," Miyu composes herself and stands up. "Thank you for your work."

"No problem!" The lady politely responds.

Her foul mood is somewhat lifted and excitement once again fills up her expression. After she receives the pair of glasses, she turns toward me with a brilliant smile.

"Here it is!"

"I can see it." No pun intended.

"Ok. Stay still."

Miyu slowly inserts the glasses onto me like Vader having his mask inserted onto him in Episode III; maybe I'm just a bit overdramatic.

"This is it! The final piece!" Clasping her hands together, Miyu's smile is brimming with excitement. Her eyes are probably sparkling right now. "Not only do the glasses mellow out your delinquent look, it also masks your rotten dead fish eyes perfectly!

Blood is running to my face again. I'm really not used to compliments; wait, that was a compliment, right?

"This is just too good. I knew I was right all along!"

I don't know why I'm getting embarrassed over this but I am. Are you actually serious? It's just pair of glasses.

"Ah, that's right! I'll have to take a commemorating picture."

Alright this is where I draw the line. Camera and I have never had a good history together, despite how actually dashing I look in the mirror. Besides, it feels awkward to have pictures taken like I'm some sort of hipster's caramel latte milkshake.

But then she does something completely out of my wildest imagination.

Miyu leans forward and throws her body right next to me, and I mean right-next to me. Our thighs and arms are practically rubbing against each other and her golden hair is brushing against my chin! The poppy fragrance is invading my nose, but now even her natural scent is also exposed, a dangerously enchanting scent I have to admit. Her phone is already up high and her hand is already making a victory sign.

"Miyu, wait-!"

 _Miyu you are way too touchy feely today you're gonna give me a heart attack!_ My heart is in pain and thumbing frantically; my body is shaking from the inside, maybe on the outside, too.

"Hikio~ move in a bit closer! You're way off frame."

Miyu adjusts herself and now even more of her body surface is touching mine. Now the shape of her ample chest has imprinted on my arm forever. _Kyrie Eleison! Kyrie Eleison!_

"Say cheese!"

The fake digital shuttle announces the end of our session. The place is lit enough so there isn't any flash.

Miyu finally lets go of me to check on the picture while I put out a sigh of relief like an idiot.

"Mo, you could have smiled a little," she sulks, "plus you didn't even look at the camera."

I'm barely able to look at her as I'm trying my best to contain myself.

"Whatever." In my effort to stay calm, I grunt out my response as a side effect.

"I guess, in a way, it looks kind of cool." Her volume drops a bit as she utters those words

I stay silent, what can I say? If I were to say something, it would probably be something like 'Yeah' or 'Sure' or 'I guess'. I'd rather say nothing at all.

"So with that, we are even now."

"I guess so."

"But still…"

Miyu jumps up and stands in front of me, on her dazzling face is a brilliant smile.

"It's my present for you…"

There it is. That smile, that heartening smile, a smile that can only appear around Hayama, is appearing right in front of me. Am I dreaming? This must be a dream; there is no way she can look like that. I've always thought that she's just a good looking girl, but right now, the Miyu I'm gazing at is truly, beautiful.

She leans toward me, our faces are pretty close to each other now. Her finger runs along my nose slope and pushes against the bridge of my glasses. With a playful smile, she says:

"You better appreciate it."

* * *

 ***Zoff is a very popular glasses store in Japan.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hi everyone!**

 **Sorry this chapter took a bit longer than normal, I'm currently moving to a different place, lots of things to do at the moment. To make up for that, here is an extra-long chapter for you all.**

 **Also, we have hit over 300 followers! Unbelievable! I've never thought that so many people would tune into such a crack ship. Thank you so much for all your love and support! The road is still long; I hope that you will all be here till the end!**

 **By the way, a bit off topic but Persona 5 just came out! Woo hoo! Because of that, I declare that this chapter will be used to celebrate all you 304 followers and the release of Persona 5! What a chapter!**

 **Do you know, in Persona, mainly 3, 4, and 5, you can form Social Link with a character? Normally, there are 10 Ranks in each Social Link. So far, we already have:**

 **Rank 1: Miura's Request**

 **Rank 2: Mall date**

 **Rank 3: Rendezvous in the library**

 **Rank 4: What happened in Miyu's house, stay in Miyu's house**

 **Rank 5: Saizeriya**

 **Rank 6: Glasses**

 **Four more ranks to go. Things can only get tougher from now on, not every encounter is going to be rank up anymore.**

* * *

 **Chapter 11: No matter how you look at it, it's your fault the Hikigaya Hachiman is not popular.**

Friday. Evening. Public Library.

As I take a sit on the chair behind the front desk, I see a familiar figure sitting not so far away from me. Her gaze is still lingering on the phone screen, then suddenly rises up and notices my presence. In a swift movement, she shuts her phone and makes way towards me. I wonder what sort of topics she has for me now? It's surreal to think that this library has become a regular hangout spot for me and her.

"Kawasaki?" I mutter to myself.

Across the desk where I'm sitting, Miyu's gaze is interrupted by an unusual sight to her right. It's the long white ponytail; and like the most natural thing in the world, those eyes are staring down each other again.

"Good evening," in a forceful manner, Miyu greets her.

"You in a library? That's a rare sight," Kawasaki makes a cold remark, barely glances at Miyu.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" She tears the words through her teeth. "Are you saying I'm du-"

"Ahem," I cough. "Please, this is a library."

Good grief. Do they have naturally conflicted attributes or something?

"Um, sorry." Kawasaki glances at me then turns back to Miyu.

With her eyes wide opened, her face whips toward me gain.

"Hik-hikigaya?!"

"Yees," I drag out my reply. For some reasons, her surprised expression annoys me.

Kawasaki's still looking at me with her mouth agape. What is it that she is so concern about? The fact that I'm working, or the fact that I'm wearing glasses? Yes, I'm still wearing her glasses. Hm, I guess it does give me a more librarian look, even Sato-san commented me the same.

"You work here? I didn't really expect that," she's fidgeting around.

"A few things happened," I give a simple remark.

"And.. glasses.. I almost didn't recognize you." Kawasaki gives me a sideway glance.

What was that? It looks weird on me, doesn't it? Kawasaki, I don't recall you are the type of people who make fun of others.

"No- I didn't mean it that way!" Kawasaki closes her eyes, her cheeks are slightly flustered. "I mean, you look-"

For some reasons, Kawasaki is having trouble finding words to put out. Is the situation too bizarre for her? Even more bizarre, just right next to her, Miyu is having one of those smug looks on her face.

"Cat got your tongue?" Miyu sneers.

"None of your business!"

"Shhh…" I calm them down again.

Kawasaki glances at me again.

"Sorry."

Clasping her hand together, Kawasaki closes her eyes and gives me a light bow, looking rather embarrassed. It is strange, seeing her losing her cool like that.

"By the way, why are you two together again?" Kawasaki almost sounds like she's sulking.

"What are you talking about? I'm just here to study, and Hikio is just happened to work here," Miyu flicks here hair while maintaining her sneering tone.

Kawasaki glares at Miyu, understandably so since she is having this unusual smug look on her. What's up with that?

But at last, the ponytail girl releases a sigh.

"Whatever, I'm going to study, too. Goodbye."

"Wait," I stop her.

"What is it?" Kawasaki gives a half-way look at me.

"I think you two should study together."

"HuH?!"

Both girls voice out the same time while leaning toward, startle me a bit.

"Shh!" Luckily I have the golden rule of the library to shield me from them.

"Why should I?!" Miyu screeches in her smallest possible tone.

"You guys are not that close in begin with, right? If so, it should be extra useful for studying since you are less likely to make small talks and get distracted."

They stare down each other again, the only weapons they are allowed to use at the moment. It's a Cold War. If any of them releases a nuke in the form of speech to the other, it's going to be a definite bloodbath.

"I'll gladly decline," Kawasaki says.

"Isn't it supposed to be 'I regrettably decline'?" Miyu retorts.

 _Love and peace, please!_

"Jus-just a suggestion," I make an awkward smile.

Just as I believe at all hope is lost, I take a peek that their faces again. Their expressions have somehow softened and guilt is starting to form on their faces. The clock is still ticking second by second.

But at last, both of them stand straight up again. Nobody is taking a look that anyone.

"F-fine then. But it's not like I'm doing it for you. Don't misunderstand, ok?" Miyu flicks her hair, looking rather bashful.

"I guess I have caused enough trouble, so I will do what you said." Crossing her arms, Kawasaki speaks with a defeated tone.

"Well, thanks then," I utter.

"Hm!"

Miyu quickly turns away, her long golden hair flutters outward a little bit along with its usual fragrance. Meanwhile, Kawasaki still looks a bit hesitant; she throws at me the last sideway glance before taking off with Miyu.

Seeing both their backs, I release a quick sigh through my nose. Why did I do that? The reason is simple, with both of them occupying each other, I finally have some time to myself; at the very least I should be slightly less bothered.

As I watch Miyu seating down, Kawasaki takes a glance at me again and realises that she is still well within my field of vision. Her head quickly turns away, her cheeks are slightly blushed. Don't worry, I'm not going to stare at you forever; I will be indulging in my own world soon enough.

…

Bzzz

There is it. I pop out my phone only to see a mail from Miyu. It's about one of the school's problem again. After a bit of pondering, I type back my reply and press 'send'. We already did this a couple of times, so right now it doesn't bother me that much.

On the other side, Miyu flashes her phone screen to a flabbergasted Kawasaki like a child showing their parents their artwork. Meanwhile, Kawasaki looks a bit too amazed, as her gaze continuously darts between me and Miyu.

Crap! Kawasaki doesn't know that that we have each other numbers. Plus, the way we mail each other back and forth like this is just too casual.

Feeling that my breath is being cut short, I break sight with Kawasaki and just blindly hope that she won't misunderstand the situation.

This meeting is more trouble than I thought.

…

But other than that, everything went by rather smoothly. Because of the golden rule of the library, both of them finally gave up on trying to get on each other's back and actually started to work together. Even though it was just my observation, I wouldn't be surprised if Miyu might actually have a much better time studying with Kawasaki than with her usual clique. Hm, maybe after this, they might actually be somewhat closer. Knowing Miyu, I'm sure that would be the case as well.

…

The sky is dark outside, and the not so impressive number of people in the building has dropped. Among the people who decide that this is the time to return to their sweet homes, or to the streets, is a certain girl with a white ponytail, walking towards me right now.

"I guess I'll be going now." She says.

"Have a good night." I give a dull reply.

"Uh-m." Kawasaki stutters.

For some reasons, she seems to be lingering around. I can feel the seconds tick by as she's standing there, avoiding my eye contact.

"No matter how you look at it," she starts speaking, still doesn't look at me straight, "there's definitely something going on between you and Miura."

My hearts jumps.

"I- told you," I stutter, "there is nothing between us."

Kawasaki sighs.

"I won't go into details about that if you so insist, but the thing I wanted to ask…"

Kawasaki ponders, her expression looks troubling.

"It's just.. the ways you guys act in class and here, they are just so different. Don't you think it's strange?"

It's not if you know the whole truth.

"I told you. I'm fine with it. It's just the way life works. I thought you are supposed to be the realistic type, aren't you?"

Kawasaki startles.

"It's just- hard for me understand, that's all."

Do you know what happens behind a curtain when a show is going on? There are things that are better hidden. Behind every performance, there could be stress, there could be frustration, there could be hate, and resentment; but when they were on the stage, they could put on the happiest act ever, and the audiences would be happy as well. Would the audience still be happy if they knew the inconvenient truth behind the scenes? Something is much better left hidden, and it's not much different here. They say acting a talent, but I beg to differ.

We're all actors here.

What Miyu and I've been doing are all backstage works, and the show hasn't even started.

"I see," Kawasaki words are weightless.

She then makes a bitter smile.

"It does sound like something you would say, though. At least I know that you still haven't change."

"People don't change that easily."

"I guess so," she pauses for a bit. "Well then, see ya."

Kawasaki makes a turn and starts walking. But after just a step, she glances back at me, cheeks slightly flustered.

"Actually, I take that back. You did change a bit-"

Without turning back, she quickly walks out of the door.

With nothing much to do, my thought is left free to wonder. Yukinoshita is given the nickname 'Ice Queen', some may say that Miyu is the Fire Queen. Two elements have been covered. If I continue to follow the four-element motif, Kawasaki can take the element of Earth, because she seems humble, or you may put it, down to 'earth' . She is strong for her family, steady like the earth. Air is probably Isshiki. She is happy and carefree and free spirited, also very sly, very sly indeed. It's fitting.

Yuigahama? Hm, she's the neutral element, dead in the middle, a bridge that connects all of us together. She gets along with all four elements. That seems about right.

What about animal motif? Yukinoshita is cat, Yugigahama is dog, Miyu is wolf, Kawasaki is probably bear, Isshiki is definitely fox. Yup, that also seems about right.

As the clock ticks past the end hour, my shift finally comes to a close. I quickly go through my closing duties, pick up the rest of my stuff and exit through the back door. Subconsciously, I walk back to the library front door, only to see a silhouette that I have already grown accustomed to, showered by the hazy streetlight.

I just go there. There is no text, no inquiry. I just go there, as if it is the most natural thing to do, don't really expect anything. And she is there, waiting for me. This whole thing has become a routine for us now. I'm not even sure what we were doing at that moment anymore, or the purpose our coming together.

But I walked her home like usual.

…

And thus, another week passed without anything significant going on, well except for the creeping guilt of lazing around instead actual studying. I wondered how many times I had told myself to study, and then I did it, and then I spent my entire afternoon staring at the table, the ceiling, the computer screen. Life was truly restless. If anyone had asked, I would have said that I spent a whole day study, but in fact maybe about a quarter of the day was actually productive. Sorry, I lied to you, mother.

Miyu: [Tomorrow, remember to wear your glasses when you go to class]

That was her text well into the evening of Sunday. Even though unrelated, her text also served as the wake-up call for myself, not from my slumber, but from my paradoxically eternal yet instant break from studying. I gave her a simple reply, didn't really know her intention for asking me so; but I guess she just didn't want to see her present go by unappreciated. I guessed I could wear it for a couple days or two. After all, it was just a pair of glasses; I didn't believe there was any type of commitment steamed from wearing glasses.

…

Monday. Early Morning. Hikigaya's resident.

Dragging my half dead body on the cold wooden floor, I carry out my daily the routine. The stream of lukewarm water clears my mind for a bit, as I take a look that at my chaotic morning hair. Using the knowledge that both Isshiki and Miyu gave me, I fix it so it doesn't look too terrible. It's not exactly the same way that they taught me, I just didn't want to look too flashy on a school day. Finally, I put on Miyu's glasses.

"Hm.."

I watch my mouth in the mirror twisting and turning in a puzzling expression. I don't think that I look that much different, after all, it is just a pair of glasses.

"Onii-chan, breakfast!"

Komachi's cry echoes through the hallway, exceptionally obnoxious since I'm still in my morning mood. Regardless, I decide to leave it as it is and come downstairs.

"Morning," my greeting is infused with my yawning.

"Morning, Onii-chan," she says while still facing the stove. Hearing the sizzling sound of the oil and smelling the aroma of fried egg in the morning, I feel a bit more revitalized. All these years cooking for me doesn't account for nothing.

"Only fried egg and toasts today since today I also kind of-"

Putting the egg onto an empty dish, Komachi takes the dish and puts it on the counter the behind her while taking a glance at me. Then she stops dead on her track, eyes wide opened.

"What?" I say, feeling uneasy at my sister's strange stare.

"Eh! Not-nothing! I just notice that you wear glasses. Wow, that's kind of strange, I never see you wear one," Komachi continues talking while dumping the empty pan in the sink.

"Well," I say while watching Komachi put the toasts on two egg dishes. "I didn't buy it myself, it's a gift from someone."

I walk to the kitchen counter and grab a glass, then to the fridge, open it and grab a milk carton.

"Heh, from who?!" her eyes are twinkling.

I put the glass of milk on the table, right next to the egg and toast dish that Komachi just put down. We're both seated at the table, and I just start putting food in my mouth, so full that I don't even have time to talk; or at least that is what I'm trying to appear.

"Is it Yui-san?"

Komachi can't you see that I'm busy enjoying your delicious breakfast? So please let me have my meal in peace.

"So it's Yukino-san?"

I didn't answer, doesn't mean that it was a no.

"Don't tell me it's Onee-san?"

I choke on my toast.

"So it is Onee-san."

"Don't make up your answer when I didn't say a thing."

"Onii-chan, I've been your sister for years, I can already tell what you think without you speaking. It's especially necessary for a shut-in brother like you."

"It's because you said Onee-san. Last time I check, you don't have one."

"But you know who I'm talking about, right?!"

"The thing is, you haven't even met her. How can you already call her Onee-san like that?"

Plus, you make it sound like she is your sister-in-law or something.

"Oh I'm going to see her soon," Komachi makes a sly grin. "There's no way I'll let it go like that."

"Just give up."

"N-ope!" She exclaims proudly.

I gulp down my egg in contemplation. Hm, just do whatever you want, not like it will matter in the end anyway.

…

Lunch break. School.

Only one week before the final, students are getting even more restless. Lunch break now is no different than a regular self-study session. Hell, I don't think even self-study sessions two months ago were even as rigorous as this particular lunch break. All club activities were cancelled ever since last week so that student could focus more on the exam. Even Hayama's clique has already piped down a little bit. But all in all, this week is not much different than last week, except being a bit tenser.

…And one more thing.

I have been feeling it since I came to class; strange, out of place gazes that have never happened before. I've always been the invisible man, free from the eyes of on-lookers. My gaze is as subtle as the winter breeze, that is why I can freely observe them without much notice. But today is different, as I laid my gaze on them, I also felt something in return. Especially Yuigahama, even though we are fellow club members, but I don't think that she has ever looked at me this much in class until today. What is going on, is it the glasses again? Miyu, did you put some kind of charm on the glasses? Are you secretly a witch? I wouldn't even be surprised if she really were, but then it would be easy for her to charm Hayama. Unless Hayama were a witch, too. Then naturally, Yukinoshita, or probably even Haruno, were also witches. Is there is a hidden Holy Grail War happening behind my back? If so, I would like Saber N*ro as my servant, Art*ria Saber is seriously overrated.

Seeing their puzzling expressions, it seems like they are actually wrecking their brains out this time. Miyu asks Hayama something. After a bit pondering, Hayama starts talking and gives a contemplating shrug afterward. She nods slightly and gazes back intensely at the notes on the table while playing with her glossy pink lips with the blunt of her pen. Seeing her like that, I realise that I maybe I should go back to my study, too.

The pages are in front of me, but out the corner of my eyes, I see her standing up. A washroom break I think, it's just the sudden moment that grabs my attention. Better get back to work.

"Hikio~"

My heart stops. Nah, it can't be, I must have heard it way too often so now it gets mixed up with other sounds. Yeah, that's must be it.

"Hikio, are you listening?"

Her voice is loud and clear I can't possibly be mistaken, her face is dangerously close to mine. _You idiot, what the hell are you doing?! Isn't this supposed to be a secret?! Can you not feel the piercing stares right behind from your very friends?!_

"Y-yes?" turning my face halfway, I utter.

"I have some problems with the exercises; maybe you know something about it."

"Yeah, what is it?"

"Come over here, I'll show you."

"No, I'm fine here, just tell me the problem."

"Just come, ok?" she raises her voice. "It's not just me, you have to show it to others, too. Come on."

I reluctantly stand up, feeling the thousand-needle gaze from the clique. As Miyu starts walking, I meagrely follow her.

I sit down next to Yuigahama, whose mouth has stayed agape ever since Miyu started talking to me. She quickly turns back to her usual cheery expression.

"Hikki's here! He's actually very good at Japanese, you know. He can definitely help us out!"

"Oh man, I'm counting on you now, Hikitani!" Tobe butts in.

I take a look at Hayama. Like Yuigahama, he's also been wearing a dazed expression ever since, albeit much less obvious than hers. Now that I'm here, he can only give a casual light smile.

"Glad for you to come and help us, Hikitani-kun. We can use as much help as we can."

"No problem." I decide to give back some usual courtesy.

On the other hand, there is Ebina. Unlike others, she has been looking at her notes ever since the incident. This is strange. Is she just really into studying at the moment, or does she knew something that I don't?

Meanwhile, Miyu wanders off to somewhere again. Oh, this time, she goes to Kawasaki's table.

"Wanna join us?" she says.

"Eh-no, thank you," Kawasaki's expression freezes up, a look that I can understand. What is your plan, Miyu?

"It's ok, even Hikio is there."

"Wh-why are you bringing him up?!"

Naturally, Kawasaki's and my gaze meet. A brief moment, but that is enough. My conscience says no, but it's my hidden desire who is the victor. I do want someone similar to me to accompany me in this chaotic scene, a desire that has somehow found its way to my expression. Seeing that, Kawasaki closes her eyes with a contemplating look. Finally, she stands up. Unbelievable. I actually guilt-trip her into coming with me. I'm so sorry, Kawasaki-san.

Now the party has two new members. Being around so many people like this gives the creep, but I keep my cool and perform the bare minimum of my job: working on school's problems. Just be calm and do what you are asked, don't try to go out of your way. It's just me, spewing out 'knowledge' like a machine, waiting for my inevitable breakdown.

"So you just need to write it like this," I say.

"Hoho, Hikitani, sore aru!" Tobe squeals.

 _Say that again and I will bloody slap you!_ That phrase only triggers unpleasant memories for me.

"Hikitani-kun, what is the meaning of this?"

A low, yet menacing voice steams from Ebina, who has been silent and glued to the pages below her ever since.

A creeping sensation runs across my back. Does she know something about me and Miyu? This can't be right.

"How can this be possible?" Ebina's body is trembling.

My glance catches Miyu, her worrying look reflects my feeling perfectly.

"H-Hina?" Miyu voice is full of doubt.

Slam!

Ebina pounds the table with both hands. Her body erects straight up.

"YOU LOOK EXACTLY LIKE IN MY FANTASY!" an unsettling smile explodes on Ebina's face.

"Egh!" My chair scratches on the classroom floor. Fantasy?!

"I've always imagined it!" Ebina continues shrieking, her twinkling eyes cannot be contained under her glasses. "Hayato-kun's steamy breath on your lenses while he pushes you down on the grassy flower field under the moonlight~!"

Oh, that fantasy.

Ebina covers the cheeks both with hands while prancing left and right.

"I've always thought that glasses Hikitani-kun would look good! I can't believe it's actually true~!"

"I-I know right!" Yuigahama bumps in.

Again with the glasses?

"I can't focus anymore! Hikitani-kun, what made you went through such a big step?"

Big step? I regress while looking away from everyone, "No, this is just a gift from someone."

"Is it from Hayato-kun?!" Ebina whips her gaze to Hayama.

"Haha, I don't think I can choose glasses that look that good," Hayama makes an awkward smile.

"Hm~mm? I willing to bet it must be from someone really special!"

My chest feels an unusual pain.

"Not rea-"

"Don't be stupid!" Miyu speaks up at the same time.

As the stares turn to her, she recomposes herself and flicks her hair.

"As if someone like him would have someone like that!"

"Mah, don't say it like that," Ebina smiles. "I'm sure even Hikitani-kun would have someone."

Ebina draws a sly smile on her face and her gaze catches Yuigahama.

"Eh! No it wasn't me," Yuigahama gasps while waving both hands in denial.

"Hmm? Interesting~" She makes a mysterious grin while running her fingers against her chin. "But man~! I promised myself that I would temporarily throw away my hobbies to study but now you have to be like this, Hikitani-kun! I just can't! I just can't even-!"

Ebina is shrieking all over the place. It doesn't take a blind man to realise that she is high on a fujoshi episode right now.

"Wait just a moment! Hina, calm down for a bit!"

This is not good. What is up with this devil glasses? Shuffling around like an idiot, I met eyes with Kawasaki again, who is having a surreal empathetic expression, almost like we are the only two sane persons in this crazy world.

Is there a way to get out of this situation? Isn't the purpose of this grouping is to study? Right, must get back to study.

"Good grief!" Miyu exclaims, "Let's just get back to study, ok?"

Ebina has somewhat piped down a little bit. Following Miyu's momentum, I take a glance at her notes in hope of finding a lead to carry the conversation back to its course.

There it is: a mistake.

"Oi, Miyu." I call out to her.

"What?" she swiftly replies.

"…"

Time has slowed down. Everything freezes. What is going on? Why are everyone's stares pointing at me? I didn't say any weird, right? All I did was calling out to her.

Shit!

"… ra-san," I stutter.

"Heh!"

From a frozen expression, Miyu gasps with her eyes wide opened. Her face turns flustered as she screams at me:

"What is it you stupid insect?!"

 _No, no, you are making it way more suspicious now!_

This is not good. The stares won't calm down; be it the frozen half smile from Hayama, the fish mouth from Tobe, the half-hearted grin from Ebina, or the mildly surprised look from both Kawasaki and Yuigahama.

No this is not what you think it is.

 _I mustn't run away! I mustn't run away! I mustn't run away!_

"Uh-um," I cough, "there is a mistake on your notes."

"R-really? Where?" She shuffles around.

"Yumiko and Hikitani-kun have a point. Let's just get back to study, ok?" Hayama says with a smile.

With Hayama's divine words, the group finally returns to studying, but now the atmosphere has become a bit more awkward. Only a couple of short exchanges are thrown around now and then, even the sounds of coughing has become more audible. My mind is like a train wreck, constantly thinking of the right words to say. A strange pressure pushes on my back, alien eyes watch my every move. I think to myself, this must be what performing on stage feels like.

Hey, at least it makes the group more for focused. In terms of fulfilling its primary objective, I can say that it's a success. No, this isn't right.

…

Classes resume like normal, but my mind can barely focus. My body is still shaken from what happened. What were you thinking Miyu? I was already content with the way things were. Did Kawasaki say something to you? There's no need to feel guilt, it's just how real life works. It's superficial, it's fake, but it is real life. It's screwed up, but it is real life. At one point, you should let it go and embrace it for what it is. Don't give up, you say. It's loser's thinking, you say. I'm sure you have heard of successful stories of those who overcame all odds; but little do you know, behind a successful story is a thousand of unheard, withered-away stories, of those who tried, get beaten up and forgotten. Success is achieved by hard work and not by luck? Preposterous. There is nothing to be proud about hard work, because right now, it is just the minimum requirement. Hard work doesn't bring success alone, nor does luck. All those celebrities that claim about their hard work, they mean nothing but glorifying their own achievements. No one wants to admit that they just 'got lucky'.

But some people believe otherwise, and among those is definitely her, at least that is what I think of her. It reminds me of something another queen said a long time ago. Maybe those two are not all that different, after all.

…

And thus, another school day ended.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12: A certain Devious Junior**

At last, the second school year finally ended, and came the sweet vacation time. The final exam period went by like a blur, almost the same as the knowledge that I previously crammed into my head. You would have thought that the period when the exam was finally over was the time of ultimate bliss. Well, nothing could be further from the truth than that; because after the exam was the waiting period, where the feeling of dread kept creeping gently on your back. There was nothing to do but wait, and pray to whatever gods that the scores wouldn't disgrace your family so much that you had to commit Sudoku. Hah, just kidding. Exams could go to hell by itself. As if I would succumb to some arbitrary standards set by the society. Although, I actually didn't do a bad job myself. There is just no way I would let this small fry of an exam make a dent to my emotional state.

But do you know what did make a dent on my emotional state?

...

Sunday. Late evening. Hachiman's room.

Isshiki: [Senpai! Big trouble! Can I meet up with u on Wednesday?! .]

Miyu: [Hikio. It's time for your official test date. Let's meet on Wednesday ok?]

As my finger's flicking through the two messages, I can now sense the feeling of dread crawling on my back. What is this? Why do I suddenly have two high school girls asking me out on a date? It may seem outrageous saying it out of context like that, but I already know that both of them are in no way interested in me since they're both crushing on the same bastard. One is just making use of my Onii-chan instinct to push me around, and one is just using her stubbornness to make me submit.

I cannot turn down either of them, but they are asking me out on the same day? What to do now?

As a wise saying goes: "Desperate time needs desperate measure", that's mean there is only one way.

I'm going to date both of them at the same time.

"..."

Like hell I am!

This is not your everyday rom-com! If my schedule overlaps, I will just do the thing a normal person will do

[Is a different day ok?]

Isshiki: [Eh! No way!1! It has to be Wednesday! It's an emergency! Senpai, how can you even possibly have any other plan?]

Although you are right almost every other time but the way you said it irritates me a little bit.

But it looks like she cannot change her date. Hm, I'll just ask the other person then.

Miyu: [Huh? Why is Wednesday no good?]

[Is it not ok for you?]

Sweat is starting to form on my back. No way, don't tell me that I actually have to date both of them at the same time?

Minutes and minutes start passing away as I'm waiting for her reply. Who would have thought that waiting could be such an agonising thing to do? Nothing I do seems to ease me, not reading, not surfing the web, and especially not staring mindlessly at the ceiling.

[Ok fine, what about Friday?]

[Sure]

I let out a long sigh through my nose as I type the reply. I only have one week before the new school year, yet two of them is already wasted already. The coming week is definitely going to be full of hardship.

…

Wednesday. Late morning. Train station.

As I walk out of the station, I can feel the air getting warmer than usual, and by usual I mean compared to the standard of early April. The weather lady said that it was going to be hot and sunny all week, which made me a bit worry since she is wrong most of the time. It's not that I don't enjoy the rain, but nothing is more depressing than going out while the sky is crying, not to mention on an alleged date. Although, it looks like she was right this time, as the sun is already blazing since early morning, with a slight breath of wind and humidity level is unnoticeable.

As I'm strolling through the rows of the shops on the way, I take a glance at the figure walking alongside me inside the reflective glass window. He's walking with hands in his pockets, sporting a casual blazer and a V-neck T-shirt. Hair: checked. Glasses: also checked. This shouldn't be too out of place for this type of weather, I think…

A normal Wednesday morning for a normal Wednesday atmosphere, as flocks of workers buzzing through the hallways, sidewalks, and corridors. The sound of footsteps rumbles about, but the sound of chattering is barely noticeable. There is a small park right in front of the station, with a fountain sitting a centre. I follow other people flowing through the walkway like a stream and reach the fountain, the agreed meeting spot between Isshiki and me.

There she is, minding her business on her phone. Under the sunlight, she looks brighter than usual, and her vixen hair seems to be shinier. As I walk closer, I'm able to make out her outfit a bit better: pinkish beige cardigan, white shirt, yellow pleated short skirt, black stockings, high top brown sneakers. On the ground, right next to her is a piece of cloth, I'm guessing it's a handkerchief.

I pick up the handkerchief and announce my presence:

"Did you drop this?"

She turns to look at me and smiles heartily:

"Ah, thank you!"

She takes the handkerchief then turn away, without saying another word. That's pretty cold, don't you think, Isshiki? How about a hello first?

She takes a side glance at me, her smile becomes a bit unsettled. She turns to me again, but her eyes slowly shift away as she speaks.

"Sorry, but I'm actually waiting for- Heh!"

Isshiki shrieks as her body flinches and takes one step away from me. Her arms are covering her chest; her face is troubled and bright red:

"S-s-s-s-s-senpai!?"

I keep silent. Well, it's not the first time I witness this kind of reaction anymore. I just don't understand.

"Is it really you?!"

"Yes, I'm Hikigaya Hachiman." I reply with a flat tone.

"Hohhh…"

Isshiki is breathing audibly and staring at me without blinking. Under her gaze, blood is rushing to my face without notice. There is no way I can get used to this.

"Is there something wrong?" I ask her while putting up and annoyed face.

"Eh!", Isshiki's body jerks up again at my words. She starts fidgeting around and avoids my gaze, "Nothing! You just, look a lot more different than last time."

"Is that so?"

"Is it obvious?!" her voice becomes sullen this time. "By the way, senpai, why are you dressing up like you are going on a date with me? I'm sorry senpai but this is not a date, if you want it to be you will have to ask me out first." Isshiki releases her classic rapid-fire rejection.

"My bad."

Seeing that, I can't help but crack a light smile. At least her usual rejection is still unchanged.

"Now, what problem do you have now?"

"Let's go somewhere to eat first, ok?" she smiles.

As we were walking alongside each other, I can't help noticing a stare targeting at me. It's hard to miss when the source is less than half a metre away. Isshiki wide eyes are scanning me throughout, like a laser beam piercing through my flesh. It's somewhat ticklish. I can do nothing but keep silent, what should I say now? Honestly, I don't know. I have never been put into this kind of situation ever.

"Senpai, you really do look so much better than before," her voice is filled with awe. "It's like a complete makeover."

My breath is cut short and blood is rushing to my face. Hey there, aren't you a bit too straightforward?

"Why only until now, though?" Isshiki seems to mutter to herself, but her voice is loud enough for me to hear.

"No particular reason," I blurt out. My body is shaking from the inside.

"Hm…" with her index finger on her chin, Isshiki seems to be in thought. "Mah, whatever then!"

I take a side glance at Isshiki. Her light smile makes my body a bit relieved; but somehow, there is just something that doesn't feel quite right.

Moments later, we're now inside a restaurant that Isshiki randomly chose, maybe. The restaurant is spacious, and already half full. We stroll through the tight walkway, pass by the wooden coloured tables and light earthy cushions on the seats. Isshiki quickly settles on one of the tables near the window, which makes me a bit nervous. The midday light shines through the large frontage windows of the restaurant, illuminates the whole interior. The faint aroma of the stir fried vegetable, teriyaki, and chicken whizz through the air like a lullaby, hopelessly alluring. The chatters of human are audible, but indistinguishable. As the time is close to noon, quite a number of people are having lunch here, truly a lively atmosphere.

The waitress quickly strolls over to offer water and menus and then quickly strolls off. After a while, we finally decide on the dishes and the waitress, after a bow, swiftly takes off again.

"You're not ordering any dessert?" I ask.

"Oh, we're going to have dessert at a different place." Isshiki makes a sly smile.

"Hm."

I make a half-hearted response. Honestly, I don't really care about dessert, so I don't actually have a strong opinion about this. I'll just leave it to Isshiki.

"So, what are you calling me here for?" I return to the topic.

"Tch, tch. Senpai, you don't have to rush it like that. I'll tell you, in time."

Her ongoing strange smile takes me aback a little. I almost forget how devious this little junior can be. You're not going to kidnap me and sell my liver to the black market, are you?

"Whatever, as long as I'm safe."

"Ya, I'm not sure about that." She answers playfully.

"Gh-"

I make a small grunt. What on earth are you planning, Isshiki?

"Just kidding!" she pats my shoulder. "Mo, you need to loosen up a little bit. You're on a date with me, after all~"

"But you said it wasn't a date." I retort.

"It's true. But for your sake, I'll allow you to consider this as a date," she smiles.

"Consider?" I narrow my eyes, "I can consider this as a date, even though in actually, it's not really a date."

"Exactly," she answers with a bright smile.

This little brat… What kind of half-assed reasoning is that?

…

Lunch came and went by pretty quickly. It was nothing spectacular, I would say average at the very best. Obviously, this was just a place for us to filled up some energy for the main event, which Isshiki still hadn't mentioned even after the waitress took away all of our leftover plates.

I'm gulping down the icy water from my glass to wash out the aftertaste of the meal, keep chucking it down until the glass has nothing but ice in it. Isshiki, on the other hand, is fiddling with her phone at the moment. Everything on the table has been cleared now; what is your next move, Isshiki?

"I'm pretty full now, so I guess it times for dessert, right senpai?" Her cheerful attitude still hasn't fazed.

Are you expecting me to answer? Of course not, of course I'm not going to say 'no, it's not the time for dessert'.

"Now, as for the reason I'm asking you out, today…"

Finally.

"Here~"

With a brimming smile, she flashes her phone screen close to my face. There seems to be some type of a colourful poster on it.

"Myriad Flavours Ice Cream World?" I read out the biggest line of text on the poster.

"It's an event where a lot of ice cream outlets come together in one place to promote their products. Because of this, there will be a lot of unique ice cream flavours that they try to promote and of course, there are well-known ones as well!" Isshiki eyes are twinkling at the moment.

"..."

"Don't you think it's exciting?!"

I can feel the eye muscles of my face contracting. That is your emergency problem?

"Of course, it's only two days long. But I can't go tomorrow so today is like, one in a lifetime chance."

"Why don't you ask Hayama? This seems like a perfect chance for you."

"Mo, you think that I didn't try already? But Hayama-senpai said he was super busy today."

"Then go by yourself."

"But it's too awkward to go there alone, don't you think? What kind of girl would go ice cream tasting by herself?" she sulks.

"I don't see anything wrong with it," I give a deadpan response.

"Of course you don't. Senpai, you are better looking than before but your social awareness is still rock-bottom."

Guh! I get it somehow. But for someone like me, that choice almost never exist. It's like the old saying goes: 'when life gives you lemon, you make lemonade', more like make a combustible engine out of the lemon and then burn whoever gives me the lemon's house down.

"Either way, now that you here, it would be such a waste if you went home now."

This little brat… So you pretended to cry wolf and kept it from me just to rope me into this. My Onii-chan instinct has betrayed me.

"There are hundreds of unique flavours that you probably never taste before. Senpai, don't tell me you are not one teeny bit interested?

Hundreds of flavours of ice cream, huh? Actually, it does kind of sound interesting.

"Where is it anyway?" I ask.

"It seems to be held in some kind of hotel. Let me check."

I watch Isshiki fiddling with her phone once again.

"Ooh, it's a real luxurious hotel."

"Yeah?"

"Senpai. Shall we go to this hotel now?" Isshiki speaks with a bright smile.

!

Isshiki, please watch your phrasing. That kind of invitation can cause all kind of misunderstanding, you know.

The little junior seems to notice my expression, as she flinches and fires out words like a submachine gun.

"Senpai I said go to the hotel to attend the ice cream event please put your head out of the gutter I'm not even ready for this kind of development we are not even going out yet sorry right now is not the time please rethink yourself!"

You don't have to keep going on like that anyway, I already know all of that.

I slowly stand up as Isshiki follows my movement with her curious gaze.

"Senpai?"

"Let's go to the place you want," I exclaim.

"Ok~" She speaks with a playful tone and stands up as well.

Both of us start walking towards the counter. To my surprise, Isshiki offers to pay for the meal.

"I'll cover this so you can cover the entrance fees for us."

How nice of you. The total payment of the meal is still less than the two tickets. But no bother, it's not that I'm short in money anyway; and you know what they say: it's the thought that matters.

And so we walk out of the restaurant and head toward the train station. The hotel is around 20 minutes of walking and train drive. By the time we reach the hotel, most the food we just had would have been comfortably digested.

…

"Wow"

Isshiki exclaims as we walk inside the hotel. It isn't called a luxury hotel for nothing. In front of us is a large lobby, warm coloured carpet with intricate winding, cursive designs like a heavily stylised tree brand. At the end is a long front desk that curves along the shape of the room, made of lustrous dark wood. Three sofa and table sets are carefully placed around the room; their placements are simultaneously close-knit yet spacious. The ceiling is tall and takes over two floors. It's easy to reach the upper floor as there is a pair of staircases on two sides of the room, with railings made of the same material of the front desks. And of course, a grandiose chandelier hangs on top, illuminates like a cluster of stars in a galaxy.

On the side of the room near the hallway, we saw a stand with the Myriad Flavours Ice Cream World poster on it. Looks like this is the direction that we need to take.

The stand leads us to an extravagant hall, tall ceilings and a row of giant glass windows on the left side like you see in the church. There are numerous booths arranged throughout the room, some with just simple small containers with ice creams, some with heavy machines on the back. Banners are everywhere, scattered with a myriad of colours. The place is wholly lit as sunlight is beaming through the glass windows, but the light streaks on the carpeted floor are surprisingly soft; I guess it must be because of the glass. We arrive here just after the event is officially started, but there has already been quite a dozen of people strolling around.

Isshiki eyes are shining as they dart from the floor to the windows, to the ceiling and then to the booths.

"Let's try something new first, senpai!" she says in excitement.

We walk through the makeshift hallway, glancing at various ice cream outlets on the way. All you can eat, this really is an ice cream buffet.

Isshiki suddenly hops to one of the booth, and soon after, on her hands are two ice cream cups. The color of the ice cream is light purple. Now what kind of flavour is purple. Grape? I don't have any hatred toward grapes but grape ice cream is still kind of out there for me.

"It's lavender and honey."

Lavender, the only exposure I have with lavender is through hand soap, how does it translate into flavour? I take a cup out of Isshiki hand, and take a bite.

"Hm… it really is lavender."

The enchanting aroma of the lavender and the sweetness of honey is actually a powerful combination. God, why hasn't this flavour become mainstream yet?

"Delicious! Right senpai?"

"Uhm, yeah." I slowly exclaim, still savouring the flavour.

"Ok, it's your turn to choose."

"Uhm…" I'm a bit reluctant, but if I refuse, there will be nothing but more whining from her, "let's see."

Looking around the booths, I finally settle on one.

"Soybean and sugar ice scream?" Isshiki exclaims.

It tastes exactly like I thought it would. It's basically soymilk in ice cream form. If you like soymilk, you will love this ice cream. For me, I don't have a strong feeling to soymilk, so it tastes alright for me.

"That's a pretty safe choice, don't you think?"

What is this? Are we in some type of contest or something?

And so we continue to stroll around and taste various different ice cream flavours. Corn ice cream, smells like vomit at first but doesn't actually taste that bad. Green tea and rice, green tea is actually a quite common flavour, and it obviously tastes good. Tulip ice cream, another flower ice cream, and like lavender, it doesn't actually taste bad. I still prefer lavender more, though.

"Garlic ice cream?" I say in disbelief.

"I actually kind of afraid to eat this." Isshiki smiles nervously.

"Then why do you take it?"

"But I want to try it. Let's go together, senpai. No backing off at the last second ok? If you do that, I will hate you."

"Yeah yeah."

Tch… I already assume that it would taste horrible, but…

"It's salty." Isshiki says.

Salty it is, but after a while. The flavour starts to melt and become more pleasant.

"It tastes quite good," I say.

"Uhm, take a while to get used to it, but it's not that bad."

Moving on to the next one.

"Jeez…" With narrow eyes, Isshiki stares at her new ice cream cup.

"Are we getting more and more hard-core?"

With a greenish yellow colour, the ice cream I'm holding is Indian Curry flavour. With a deep breath, I gulp down the blob of ice and cream in front me.

"Guh…"

Tastes like sweet curry, I think to myself. Once again, my expectation betrays me.

"It's kind of nice," Isshiki says with her eyes widened.

I wonder if there is something wrong with me for finding this type of flavoured ice cream enjoyable. But still, our ice cream adventure still carries on; and this time: avocado.

"Ugh…" I cringe.

It tastes disgusting.

"Really? I think it tastes good."

"I don't see it."

It looks like we finally have a case of different opinion.

"Looks like we finally have a different opinion, ne?"

Her gaze goes higher as she stares into the empty space above her for while.

"Ah, senpai! Let's have a contest, shall we?" she turns to me with a cheerful smile.

"What contest?"

"I will pick an ice cream for you and you will pick an ice cream for me. Whoever can finish their ice cream first wins."

"What happen if you win?"

"Nothing, but there will be a penalty for the loser."

"What penalty?"

"Uhm…" she seems to be in thoughts again. "Ah!"

Isshiki hops away as I leisurely follow her to a booth. She points at one of the containers on the table. The ice cream in it has a light green colour but it's not green tea at all.

"Wasabi," I exclaim nervously.

"The loser has to eat this!" The little junior exclaims loudly.

Looking at the ice scream, I can sense killing intent oozing from it. My thoughts are being shaken and my body becomes stiff. The ice cream is dangerous.

But there is no way I would back down this challenge.

"Fine by me," I say.

"So, I can pick first ok?" she looks at me with twinkling eyes and fluttering eyelashes.

"U-uhm." God that is cute. You are just way too sly for your own sake. Honestly, you don't even have to act cute and I will let you as well.

The key to win this battle is the ice cream picking. Unlike before, instead of picking the ice cream that hopefully tastes good, I have to pick one that hopefully tastes bad. The challenge is that like before, some ice cream that I thought would taste bad actually tasted good, and vice versa can be true; not mention that I have to take into accounts of her taste as well.

Touring around the booth for a while, the devious junior decides a final pick for me: goat cheese and olive ice cream. A formidable choice, I have to say.

Now, it's my turn. After a while, I also settle on my own choice: pickle ice cream.

"That's gotta be hard to swallow," she smiles nervously. "No fair, senpai."

"It's completely fair."

We then pick a table to sit on, as Isshiki and I are getting a bit sore from walking around. Understandably, all of the tables are locate next to the windows, where there are light and amazing views.

"Fine then. Senpai, on a count of three, ok?"

I nod.

"Ok… three… two… one… Go!"

!

The tangy, earthy taste of goat cheese overwhelms my tongue, a slight gamey taste like in lamb meat. There are olives in the ice cream, but for some reason tastes like cockroaches! It's horrific. The worse part is that the fattiness of the cheese is infused into the ice cream, swelling my taste bud to the point of sickening. There is no way I can finish this.

"Done!" Isshiki cheers.

"How?" I find myself difficult to talk.

"'Cause I like pickle," the little junior makes a sly smile. So that 'hard to swallow' was just a bluff?

"You don't like tomato right? So I thought that you don't like sour food like pickle as well. Can't believe you are that easy."

So instead of using my taste to calibrate your choice, you used it calibrate my choice instead. Furthermore, you didn't pick your choice based on taste alone, but on its heaviness. The taste doesn't have to be overly repulsive, but as long as it's heavy, it becomes extremely hard to keep on eating.

How devious, my little junior. I lost the battle. But…

"How do you know that I don't like tomato?"

"Eh!" she glances away from me, "it's just, things I heard around that's all."

How suspicious? But a lost is a lost, there is no excuse for that.

"So, as a punishment, wait here!"

Isshiki runs off and quickly returns with another cup with green ice cream inside. I pray to gods that it's just green tea flavour.

"Sorry for the wait!" Saying something so apologetic, Isshiki sure is being overly cheerful.

I stare at the ice cream again. Its killing intent is still just as imminent, but there is nothing I can do now. Just close your eyes, and think of England.

!

Just… unbearable. The taste is incompatibly sweet, but the worst thing is the spicy aroma stomping through my nose like an army of barbaric Spartans slashing through my every skin cell. My head droops down low, my fist slams on the wooden table. All of my face muscles are cringing as hard as they can. Good thing Isshiki isn't able to see my face. And that is just one small scoop.

Isshiki laughs heartily as she looks at my miserable sight.

"Ya, how does it taste, senpai?"

"Dis.. gusting."

"Hahahahaha…" she laughs again, "mah, it actually looks really bad."

I keep silent, feeling that if my mouth moves, the pain will probably become worse.

"I'm curious. Actually, I want to have a taste, too. Can I, senpai?"

"Go ahead." Please, help me out here.

Isshiki takes her spoon and digs into my cup.

"Geh!"

Her eyes wince hard and one of her hand is covering her mouth. Despite still trying to keep a cheerful look, her eyebrows are visibly frowning.

"You're right, it's horrible!"

"So will you let me off?" I plead.

"No way."

"Guh!"

Having said that, but Isshiki continues to take another scoop. As she puts it into her mouth, her eyes shut tightly and her body jerks up, trying to endure the pain.

"Why are you keep eating?"

"You don't want me to?"

No, please do. But still, are you some kind of a masochist?

Finally, the cup is empty, and both of us are hugging our mouths and breathing heavily. Next to us are two glasses of water.

"That was intense, senpai…"

"Yeah…"

"So what do you want to do now?" I ask.

"Keep on tasting of course. But, I kinda like sitting here at the moment," Isshiki grinds on her chair. "Ah, senpai, please lend me your phone. I will search the event catalogue so we don't have to go around looking."

"Use your own phone," I reply coldly.

"But, senpai, my phone is almost out of battery. Can I not borrow your phone just for a while?" she's making those round twinkly eyes and bashing her eyelashes again.

Sighing through my nose, I hand my phone to her.

"Yay!" she screeches like a child, "sankyu, senpai!"

After another while of fiddling on my phone, she exclaims:

"Lynche and plum wine on booth 7, go senpai!"

"Yeah yeah."

I slowly stand up and walk toward booth seven. The number of people has gone up fivefold, makes me a bit overwhelmed. The sun has gotten lower and glares into the room, the chatters have become louder. It seems like Isshiki does have a point, as there are two types of people in this event: business men and women, and couples. Narrowly avoiding the flock of people, I slowly find my way to the booth. It's more confusing than I thought. I ask the lady for two cups of what Isshiki asked for, receive it with both sides bowing and thanking each other. I leisurely make my way toward the table. There is no reason to rush; the atmosphere although quite suffocating is still quite pleasant.

I sit down on the chair while Isshiki is still fiddling with my phone, scrolling through the catalogue. She's looking at the screen intensely and seems to be deep in thought. This might be just a whimsical assumption, but I feel that her mood has somewhat dampened. Has she finally got bored of this?

"Isshiki, ice cream," I announce her.

"Ah, thanks, senpai." Isshiki makes a light smile.

Scoop after scoop, both of us consume our ice cream without many words exchanging back and forth. The sun is still warm and bright, its light scatters from the droplets of water running on the shiny glass surface. One, two, three, four, without many things to do, I find myself counting the distorted stripes on the wooden table.

"Are you getting tired?" I ask.

The little junior shakes her head lightly.

"Uh uh, let's keep on trying a lot of flavours, senpai." With a light smile, Isshiki looks at me with hazy eyes.

"O..kay."

Apparently, there is also shaved ice. We actually just settle with a cup of strawberry shaved ice, but the special thing is that it is made to look like a bear. A lump of vanilla ice cream makes up its nose, olives as eyes and nostrils, and two halves of a strawberry on top as ears.

"So cute~" Isshiki squeals white taking picture of the shaved ice.

This is definitely one of the highlights of the event for me.

A lot of flavours later, my stomach is already so full. How many calories have I consumed? What about you, Isshiki? Aren't supposed to be more worry about this than me?

"I'm full, too, so let's leave ok?" She smiles awkwardly.

…

After around half an hour, we end up in the mall in the usual shopping district.

"What are we doing here?" I ask her with an annoyed tone.

"I heard there is a fortune teller around here. Why don't we check it out, senpai?

"You believe in that kind of stuff?

"Not really believing but it's just interesting to here what they have to say, and see how much they actually guess it right!"

Most fortune teller who makes predictions about you use a technique called cold reading. For example, when making a prediction about your personality, they will use personality traits that prevalent to the mass majority of people. As long you present it in a brazen and interesting way, it will come out to be unique and interesting. At least, that is what I have heard.

"Hikio."

My throat chokes, my whole body jerks up. What the hell?! Why am I shaking like I have been caught cheating! No way, this is the worst possible time.

I slowly turn my head around like a dried-up, rusty crank, only to the see the exact person that I expect to see; except for the fact that she is a brunette instead of a blonde, and has shoulder length hair instead of long hair, and a smile made of pure evil. Wait, what?!

H-Haruno!


	13. Chapter 13

**Hi every one!**

 **I'm so sorry for the late update. I'm still in university and have a job and have to take care of the personal businesses as well, so this time is one of the busiest times for me at the moment. But no worries, things should get better after this, and I will be able to update more regularly. Because of all of your support, I will definitely keep on writing more and more for sure.**

 **Quite a bit of you guys get worked up over the Sodoku part! Yeah, it was absolutely intentional. Anyway, enjoy your chapter.**

* * *

 **Chapter 13: Love, Loneliness, and other Delusions**

It's early evening. The dim blue sky has been invaded by the haunting red streaks, the sun is slowly being swallowed by the rows of blackening roofs. I'm dragging my feet along the small concrete road as the sound of my footsteps creek in the windy silence. Sunlight basks on my shoulder, as heavy as an iron chain ball. My eyes graze upon my shadow slumping around as I slowly make my way home. What a day. I'm too tired to even put an exclamation point next to my thought.

Wednesday. Dusk. Home.

I walk toward my room door, the only barrier between me and my safe haven where I can finally regain my peace of mind. I guess because I'm too tired that I decide to ignore the faint squeaking sounds in my room.

I open the door and see an outrageous sight.

There are two middle schoolers squirming on my bed. The one with twin tails is on top of the other, their hands are twisting like a bundle of ropes. The one being pushed down is having her hand stretching over her head as far as possible, holding my beloved Vita-chan. Her other hand is desperately trying to push the one on top away. As they are wrestling round for my machine, I can hear the short, airy, incomprehensible moanings coming from the both of them.

My eye muscles twitch as I witness the scene. God, I feel so dirty watching this. I'm not going to go to jail for this, am I?

"Oh no, Onii-chan. You walk in right in the middle of our yuri session," Kotomi greets me with a mildly surprised tone.

"At least try to make up an excuse!"

I blurt out as I stomp through the room and take a sit on my computer chair. I sigh through my nose, contemplating to myself. I just want to rest, but now the second most troublesome person has appeared right in front of me.

"What are you doing here?"

"Waiting for you, of course," Komachi says. They are still sitting on my bed with their back against the wall.

"Do it in the living room," I speak with an annoyed tone.

"We tired of waiting in the living room so I went to your room to find something fun to do!" Kotomi says.

"So you just admit that you were digging through my stuff?"

"It's fine, right?" Komachi says. "After all, we're your sisters and all."

We? Who is this 'we' are you talking about? Are you actually two persons? Do you have multi personalities disorder? Is my little sister going through a chunni phase at the moment?

"But I'm surprised, Onii-chan," Kotomi says. "We can't find any of your porn mags in your room."

"That's because I don't have any!"

What age are we living at the moment?! 2001? Who the hell buy porn magazines anymore? Good thing my computer is locked under a password.

"Mo, so boring," Kotomi sulks, "but I don't believe that you don't have any."

"No matter I have them or not, none of you should be looking at it anyway, so I've done a good job. Now, both of you, get out."

"Eh! But we were waiting for you all this time!" Komachi screeches.

"Well, you're done waiting, right? So, get out," I keep up a stern voice.

"Then what is the point of waiting?!" Komachi howls in discontent. Both of them start crawling toward me.

"Onii-chan, we were so bored without you!" Kotomi butts in. "Can you see?! We were fighting over your hard, black thing just then!"

 _She means my portable game machine!_

"Onii-chan! Let us stay for a moment!" Komachi pleads.

"Just the tip Onii-chan!" What the hell are you talking about?!

My sisters are clutching on my thighs. They're both gazing at me with their twinkling puppy dog eyes.

"Onii-chan~"

"Onii-chan~"

"Onii-chan~"

"Onii-chaan!"

"Onii~chan!"

"Onii-chan!"

Gaaahh! this is so annoying! They are not even pleading me anymore; they're just screaming 'Onii-chan' just for the heck of it.

"Okay, I got it!" I lament. "What do you want now?"

"Yay~" Kotomi shrieks. "First thing first, did you have a date with Yumi-nee?"

"No." Crossing my arms on my computer chair, I deliver an unwavering answer.

"Like hell we would believe you," Komachi make a hearty smile while reject me entirely.

"Yeah, you even maxed out your charm today," Kotomi says. "There is no way you are not on a date."

"Yeah, Onii-chan has never looked like this before," Komachi says. "Come to think of it, this definitely has something to do with Onee-san."

Can you stop calling her Onee-san?

"Yumi-nee has finally turned you into her ideal man." Kotomi grins.

"Like I said, I was not on a date with your sister, and that is the whole truth," Grasping on the technicality of her accusation, I am able to deliver a defense without any sign of uncertainty.

"Okay okay~ Riight.. I just remember what you told me," Kotomi winks at me. "I'm sure you're totally not on a date with Yumi-nee, right?"

Gah, this brat… Mah, as long as she doesn't interrogate me any further, I don't have a problem with that.

"By the way, Onii-chan," the twin tails sister continues. "Just hypothetically, if you were on a date with Yumi-nee, where would you go?"

I take a cautious glance at the little devil, trying to figure out her intention.

"Just hypothetically!" She looks at me with a playful grin.

Even though I'm not obliged to answer, I can't help thinking about it. Miyu said that it was going to be a test date. If it's anything like last time, she most likely will ask for my opinion again. But how the hell I suppose to know? I'm just a loner, I don't exactly have much of dating experience.

"Come on, Onii-chan~" Kotomi keeps pushing me.

"Maybe… a book store?" I blurt out the answer on the top of my head, one of the outside places that I know.

"Wow… how bold of you, Onii-chan," She looks at me with formidable eyes.

"Huh… I thought you would think that it's boring," Even I realise the fact that not many people like to read, and I don't think that Miyu is one of them,

"Tch tch.. Onii-chan, don't think you can fool me with it," Kotomi grins while flicking her finger. "Everybody knows that bookstore is the perfect place to have public se-"

I lunge over and block her mouth with my hand! _Dammit! You little devil! What are you saying in front of Komachi?!_

Her twin tails flail around as she tries to wiggle out of my grasp. After a while, I decide to let her go.

"Just what nonsense are you saying?"

Kotomi makes a big gasp for air, then says, "you know, since bookstore usually doesn't have a lot of customers, and has a lot of 'walls' to provide a lot of covers. It makes perfect senses, ri-kya!"

Her speech is interrupted by my karate chop. Come to think of it, what she says does make a bit of sense. No way, I'm supposed to be against this.

"First you gagged me, now you hit me," Kotomi says while caressing her forehead. "Onii-chan is such a sadist."

"Guh." I make a small grunt. A part of me wants to hit her again, but my other part knows that I would just fall into her trap if I were to do so.

Kotomi crawls closer to my ear. She speaks with an airy voice.

"You must have at least got it to second base, didn't you?"

"Don't be ridiculous!" blood rushes to my face as I turn away from her. "There is no way that would happen!"

Kotomi makes a bright smile and stares into my irises with a mysterious gaze. Her index finger touches her lips.

"Who knows?"

I sigh. Two little sisters are just, too much.

…

Thursday. Late afternoon.

I went outside to pick up some groceries that Komachi ordered, and at the meant time got some of her favourite snacks as well. How convenient. Sometimes I wondered what was actually her true motive. Despite being reluctant at first, I had no choice but to obey her as she was the one who was going to cook tonight.

I make light strides from rows to rows, not knowing which rows I need to be at. I don't look at the signs, I just let myself wonder around. If I'm lucky, I'll find the thing that I'm looking for. Time isn't breathing on my neck, there is no reason for me to hurry up.

Soon enough, I finally find what I'm looking for. Reaching out for the item, I found myself touching fingers with another being; light, slender fingers that definitely belong to a girl. I glance over to see a familiar figure, one that I haven't seen for quite a while.

Orimoto Kaori.

Her eyes lay on my face, her expression becomes stiff.

"Hello~" Orimoto makes a silly smile.

I also stare at her, unable to make a sound. No matter how long it has been, she is still my previous crush. It's normal to still feel a bit awkward to see your crush, right? But still, I should at least say hello.

"Huh?!"

But before I'm able to say anything, Orimoto gasps in shock. Her body is taken aback and her arms are wailing high.

"Hikigaya?!"

"Uhm," I nod lightly. "Hello."

"Is this really you, Hikigaya?" Orimoto says while eyeing me from top to bottom. Her smile is like a child seeing a new toy.

"Who else could I be?" I avoid her gaze.

"Holy hell. You look, like, totally different. I almost didn't recognize you."

"Yeah, I get that a lot."

"Hmm…" Orimoto starts hopping around me, her smile is still brimming. "I never thought that you would be this good looking."

"Is that so?" I blurt out by instinct. My mind seems to be a bit glitchy at the moment.

"Did you get a girlfriend?"

"Not really."

"Really?" She makes a friendly smile. "I would have thought that you had one."

"What makes you think so?"

"'Cause, you know, love changes people, right?"

That is such a hopelessly romantic view of love. But I guess it matches her personality pretty well.

"Well, no matter what you think, I still don't have one."

"Is that sooo…?" standing beside me, Orimoto peeks her head out and eye me up from down there. Her smile is mixed between excitement and curiosity. "Anyway, what are you doing?"

"Just pick up some groceries."

"What a coincidence. Me, too. Looks like we pick up the same thing, too." She makes a hearty smile.

"Yeah," I reply softly.

"Why don't we go together?"

"Well, sure."

Feeling a bit reluctant and surprised at first, but eventually, I start walking along side her. A friendly gesture from a friendly girl, that is the way of Orimoto Kaori. Meeting someone from a groceries store, an acquaintance, but not exactly friend, but still she offered to shop together. Of course she would do such a thing. If you think the about the alternative, that is making short exchanges then continuing on. If so, she will risk bumping into me again, and then it will be even more awkward. To prevent that, shopping together is the lesser of the two evils. My loner years has taught me enough, even though, middle school me would totally think that Orimoto was interested in me somehow. Actually, he did think that way, and you know the results.

"So what are you planning on cooking with that?" Orimoto words bring me back to reality.

"Ah, curry rice, I think."

"Really? People really put that into curry? That's pretty funny!" Orimoto carefree words bounce around the shelves.

"Some people use it, it comes down to reference, though."

"But it's sweet, do you like sweet or something?"

"For curry, I guess. Of course, spicy too."

"Sweet and spicy, heh? Interesting."

We go from aisles to aisles and start crossing out items on our lists one by one, at the mean time converse about trivial stuff like schools and how crazy the final exams were and the weather. Time passes by moderately; talking does make time fly by faster but being with Orimoto slows it down a little bit.

After finishing our check out, we continue walking out together for a little while. It's already dusk, the second time in the row that I witness on the streets. Seeing that, unwanted thoughts invade my mind again.

"It's still pretty surreal to catch you here, you know?" Orimoto breaks the silence.

"It happens from time to time."

"Come to think of it, this is the second time we bum into each other. The other time there was this older girl who was with you," She speaks with a carefree tone.

Now you've done it. Why do you have to mention her like that? My mental barricade has been broken, the memories of yesterday are pouring into my head.

But suddenly, my mind is whipped back to reality as my eyes catch something undoubtedly peculiar, but regrettably familiar.

I just realise that we're about to pass through a manga café, and just walking out of the door is somewhat young guy with a chunky build. His over-grown, spiky unnaturally colored hair, his thick black rim glasses, and his out of place beige trench coat give it away instantly.

The noise level plummet, even the sound of wind can be heard. As he glances indifferently in our general direction, I start counting seconds until the realisation. One, two, three-

"UWAAH!" Zaimokuza howls.

He leaps one and a half steps backward, braces himself with his make-shift martial art stance. His mouth is making a big round shape while his irises shrink and quiver.

"H-Hachiman-doNO?!

I squint. Another person I don't want to see at this moment. Although, to be honest, I never want to see Zaimokuza at any moment of my life. But despite him being an absolute pain in the ass anytime he appears, he is just Zaimokuza. What's the worst thing that can happen? At least it wasn't like *shudder* yesterday.

I wonder how long he has been frozen like that, looking like one of those living statues that people ignore on the streets. Now if you were to be painted silver and be put in the middle of Akihabara, you would probably attract some people. But suddenly, he collapses to the ground, both fists slamming on the streets.

"WHYYYY?!" He cries.

I'm taken aback. You idiot! This isn't the time to go full chunni. At least have some decency when you are in public, my god. I glance to my side, as expected, Orimoto is utterly confused, and her grossed-out expression is as clear as daylight.

"Eehh, do you know him, Hikigaya?" she says.

"Unfortunately," I retort.

"Huuh.. ok," she makes a forced smile, "Looks like you guys might have something to talk about, so I think I will be going."

Orimoto gives me a stiff wave, looking over her shoulder as she turns.

"But, if you want to hang out someday, I don't mind. You have my phone number, right?"

I nod.

"It's still the same. So.. yeah, see you soon," With a smile, Orimoto finally walks away.

Naturally, my glance is drawn toward Zaimokuza again. He's staring at me with his jaw dropped down low like he is holding a tennis ball with his mouth.

"What are you doing?" I give him a dissenting look.

"Hachiman-dono!" Zaimokuza continues screaming.

"At least stand up, will you?"

Zaimokuza slowly and dramatically stands up. His sorrowful eyes gaze on the street as he wipes the corner of his mouth with his sleeve.

"Hachiman-dono. I have been through a lot of battles. My blood has been shed, my bone has been broken. I have been through hell! And yet, I came back, stronger than ever. I wouldn't let those things to let me down. I have known pain, be it physical, or mental, or emotional, BUT, right now I finally understand…"

"What are you on about?"

"None of those pain… nothing is worse than the pain of BETRAYAL!" Zaimokuza ejaculates loudly to the ground, looking like he was on the verge of tears.

 _What are you talking about?!_

"Hachiman-dono!"

With his sterns eyes, Zaimokuza glares at me. The wind is startled as he whips his strapping arm through the air, his finger points toward me. With a final breath, Zaimokuza declares his final judgment.

"YOU HAVE TURNED INTO A NORMIE NOW!"

I freeze. The sound of his words echoes in the chamber of my brain. His speech is over the top, that I realise, but there is something that actually hits me. All these times, all these talks, all these events, all these feelings,…

What exactly have I been doing?

"I once thought that even though we were different, we walked the same path! But here I am, with the truth finally laid bare, you are now.. just.. one of THEM!

With a blood curling scream, Zaimokuza sprints away and eventually be swallowed by the startled wave of people. The sound of his scream becomes more and more distant.

I facepalm at his over-the-top temperament, but my fingers are digging into my skin. Despite how stupid I think he looks, he is in no way worth causing pain to myself. I know, despite trying my best to ignore it, what has actually happened until now.

…

Wednesday. Late Afternoon. At the mall.

"Hikio."

The world became black and white. She said only a single word. One word, but it was enough to hit me like a truck. She called me by the name that had only been used by one person. How did she know it? Why did she use it? I didn't have a clue. But what I did know, was that her glistening smooth hair, her lips as red as blood, her seductive eyes as captivating as the smell of morning coffee couldn't mean anything but trouble. I knew she was trouble, but something in me knew that I couldn't deny her.

"Oh my~!" Her voice was soft and soothing, her smile was devious as her shiny nails kissed her lips. "My my~! My dear Hikigaya-kun cleaned up really well, doesn't he? I'm surprised, even."

She pulled off a convincing surprised look, but no fool wouldn't recognise the facetiousness of her smile. But even so, her advance was as swift and precise as an Olympic fencer, and her pre-emptive attack still left my throat dried out of words.

"G-Good afternoon, Haruno-senpai." Isshiki said nervously.

"Hello." Haruno smiled.

"What a surprise to see you here! I didn't expect that, haha." Isshiki seemed a bit bashful.

"I know, right? I never thought that I would see such interesting sight. Ah, why don't we grab a cup of coffee to catch up with each other?"

Haruno smiled and look at Isshiki, made the little junior a bit startled. I knew that smile. It was a smile in its purest form, but something about it emitted a commandeer aura, a smile so masterly executed that no mind could possibly deny.

"About that! I actually have something coming up right now so I can't stay long! So you and Senpai can go without me!"

Isshiki then turned to me.

"Senpai, thank you for taking me to the event. I had a great time there," Isshiki smiled heartily. "See you later, senpai."

And then she ran off.

"Looks like it's just you and me now." Haruno made a contemplating smile.

"What do you want?" My throat finally got back to work.

"I just want to catch up with you, that's all," Haruno made a pouty face. "Looks like your attitude still hasn't changed much."

"Is that so?"

"Like I said, let's not just stand and talk. Let's go to a cafe, ok?"

And so, we were at a coffee shop.

"Hm, you must be really busy these days huh?" Haruno said the first word after we sat down.

"Of course, I just had final exam finished."

"How was it?"

"I survived, as you can see."

Haruno laughed.

"That's my Hikigaya-kun!" She paused for a while, as if waiting for me to respond. I remained silent. I felt that if I spoke too much, I would fall into her trap any moment.

"But, what about things outside of study?" She started the conversation again.

"There is nothing much." I make a flat reply.

"Hikigaya-kun."

I glanced at Haruno, and saw the master of a thousand facades at work. Her smile was casual, her smile was light, her smile was just someone who was only mildly interesting but wouldn't push on if you didn't feel like it. That kind of smile was the most dangerous, the kind that didn't force you, the kind that made you comfortable enough to spill out any secret.

"You didn't forget about Yukino's request, right?"

She dropped a bombshell, but my intuition had already half expected it. At that time, realistically, there should had been only three people who knows about her request: me, Yukinoshita, and Yuigahama. Haruno, just how could you be able to obtain information every time like that? Was this the power of highly sociable people?

"What do you know about her request?" I was tempted to just play dumb by asking her 'what request?'. But knowing Haruno, there was no way she would get fooled like that.

"Nothing, actually. But I am her sister nonetheless, and based on you guys' actions afterward, I could somewhat guess what it is about. I could still be totally wrong, though!" Haruno tipped off her sentence with a carefree smile.

"If you have to ask, then no, I didn't forget it."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah."

"And your resolve is still the same?"

"Yes."

"Hmm…." Haruno made a curious hum, her comfortable, inviting smile still hadn't vanished. "But you know, Hikigaya-kun…"

I glanced at her.

"Just because you have time on your hand now, doesn't mean you can just go chasing butterflies like that."

My heart convulsed. A simple sentence, an ambiguous sentence, but it was enough to flip the world upside down. My head was running through many interpretations trying to decipher the meaning of her words.

"If you mean Isshiki, then it's not what you think. I just helped her with an errand today."

"Heh… that's interesting. But you know what I mean right?"

Her mysterious smile enchanted my gaze, and her stare was drilling through my eyes and deep into my soul. It felt as if she was reading my mind. It was terrifying, because the person I was thinking of was not Isshiki at all.

"Be careful. You are playing with fire, you know that?"

I gulped down my saliva, finally mustered enough courage to break eye contact with her.

"I don't know what you are talking about."

"Heh… Then never mind then!" Haruno puts on a friendly smile. "Well, isn't it a good talk with you? I'd love to stay longer, but Onee-san has to go now."

"I don't really mind." My words were cold.

"Mo, that's kinda mean, you know?" She sulked.

"My bad," I said half-heartedly.

"Well, then," Haruno stood up, her smile reappeared on her face, "see ya around, Hikigaya-kun."

"See ya."

Thursday. Dusk.

Here I am again, dragging my tired body on the narrow street under the scorching setting sun. Everything feels so familiar that I wonder if I'm actually in some sort of endless time loop. Once again, the faint god light drops on my back like a thousand-pound rug, and the early night wind is eerily cold. My mouth stays shut, but my mind is going haywire. Thoughts and counter-thoughts exchange blows, it is a violent battle, and my body is the slowly devastated battlefield.

Home at last. Slowly but steady, I make my way to the bathroom and look into the mirror. In front of me is a tired boy, with nice clothes, nice glasses, and neatly styled hair. For the first time of my life, I realise that I am actually somewhat different.

This is Hikio, the image that Miura has come up with and sculptured. This is her image, the image of the me who is charming enough to have a chance to captivate Yukinoshita, a much better image than the one before.

But the real question is...

Is this really me?

How did this happen? Not Hiratsuka-sensei, not Yukinoshita, not Yuigahama; it's Miura who managed to change me, without me even realising it. Perhaps, even my whole relationship with Miura is also fabricated. All those strange, out of character things she did, they weren't for me, they were for her version of me, the version that she approves of.

I take off my glasses. Paradoxically, everything becomes clear.

This is not the real me.

I have held my ground for so long, swore to myself that I wouldn't let the world sway me however it wants. Stay strong, and don't let the world fools you with deceits, with those sugary words that delude you and give you false hope. In the end, nobody likes me for who I am.

And Yukinoshita. On that day, she made a request, and both Yuigahama and I came to a conclusion silently, without her knowing, because we both know that she would have objected it if we had told her. That is why, until her concern is finally resolved…

I absolutely cannot touch Yukinoshita.

And that goes against Miura's interest in every way possible. I knew it from the start, I've prepared for it, I'm ready to end it all.

My soaked hands clutch at the rim of the sink, as I watch droplets after droplets falling to their doom. Everything is telling me that I should end this, but I cannot get rid of this dreary feeling. My date is coming tomorrow, but I already have too much baggage on my mind.

* * *

 **A/N: sorry for another non-Miura chapter, but next chapter will be a tremendous Miura chapter, so stay tune!**


	14. Chapter 14

**This chapter is dedicated to the coming out of the OVA. God bless Isshiki, my best canonically possible endgame girl. Also, 400 followers! Woo! Once again, thank you all for all of your interests and supports, I'm definitely not dropping this soon, there is still so many things in my mind. Anyway, enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

 **Chapter 14: To Love-Miyu**

Friday. Morning. Train Station.

Somewhere in front of the station, I'm leaning against a street light, not the boring, cold, and metallic kind; but the ornate, green-painted, lantern-like kind that you see in a park. It's another sunny day. The bright sunlight is blazing on the pearly streets, a little bit warmer than usual. The spring breeze is blowing leisurely, brings about a touch of coolness. Leaves are humming and cherry blossoms are already blooming. As I watch their thousands of petals taken off by the wind and raining down the streets like confetti, I draw in a long breath of freshly produced oxygen, then exhale slowly, not just to enjoy the nature, but to soothe my racing heart as well. At least that's what I've been trying to do. I've been here for almost fifteen minutes, and the meeting time is approaching zero minute. Mock date or not, a date with the Queen Bee is just nerve-wracking, there is just no way I can stay calm for that. Here I am, internally shaking like an idiot while she probably couldn't care less, and I can only have my delusional self to blame.

I get on the phone to distract myself from overthinking. not bothering to look at the little number on the top right of the screen. For some reasons, a part of me wishes that I can just stay like this forever.

"Hikio~"

That dream doesn't last, but it's okay, because the dream I'm seeing at the moment is on a different level.

Her golden, neatly curled locks shine under the light, almost as if she is the personification of the sun itself. Her glossy greens eyes are big and bright. Her lips are as pink as cherry blossoms. She wears a short white dress with frilly teal accents. A large teal silk belt ties the dress together, just right under her chest. A teal jacket wraps around her exposed collarbones and two white shoulder strings. Half or her pure white thighs and all of her lean calves are showing, accompanied by a pair of white lace up high heel sandals. Accessories are everywhere; white heart chokers, matching earrings and necklace, gold-cladded bracelets. Her slender fingers run across the strap of a leather white purse, and her nails are glistening pink. I can already scent her usual poppy fragrance, but something about it today just makes it fresher and more overwhelming than usual. Every time she blinks, her long eyelashes flutter, almost like they are calling me in.

She greets me with a pompous smile while I stare at her. My throat is dry; I can barely breathe. What the hell? You just look way, too.. beautiful. My body heat is rising and my heart is pumping profusely. This is not good! I feel like she's going to get hit on every six minutes. The pressure increases, my uncontrollable urge to protect her is raging, I can't possibly let anyone get close. At least the place we picked is quite far away from school, the chance that we may come across familiar faces is relatively minimal,

"Sorry I'm a bit late," for an apology, Miyu seems to be quite cheery.

"Y-yeah." I utter.

"Wrong!" her eyebrows slope upward, "You're supposed to say 'No, I'm actually just here early'."

"My bad," I glance away from her and scratch the back of my head, "It's just… you look really good today."

"Huh?!" A light pink shade flashes on her cheeks, "Hm! Don't get too full of yourself! I'm just doing this to put more pressure on you, you know, to see how well you can handle going on a date with a pretty girl."

"I don't exactly recall you as a pretty girl." I blurt out as I'm trying to find a retort. That doesn't come out right.

"Huh?! But you were totally speechless just then!" Miyu sulks.

"What are you talking about? That's just how I am all the time."

"Mo, stupid Hikio! If you want to compliment, do it properly! That's why you're not able to get any girlfriend."

"So what?" I have gone this far, might as well go all the way, "Do you want me to compliment you?"

Those words of mine take her aback. With a still sullen look, she stares down at the ground.

"I don't need it!"

I sigh through my nose.

"Like I said, you look pretty, today."

"Hm!" Miyu flicks her hair, "well, I guess you also don't look half bad."

Her frown turns into a pompous smile as her gaze goes lower and stares me down from top to bottom.

"Not bad, not bad at all!" She sounds like she's gloating at herself instead.

"You don't have to tell me that."

"Remember, it is all because of me. You should at least be thankful."

"I don't remember asking for your help anyway."

"Some attitude you have there, no wonder you're such a Hikimo!"

Heh… out of all people, it's the Queen Bee who lectures me about attitude.

"Whatever, ok!" she sulks. "Anyway, let's just go instead of standing her like this."

I'm walking alongside her but have no idea where we are heading. The warm sunlight caresses on our backs, blending perfectly with the cool spring air. I'm staying a bit closer to her than usual this time. My protective urge is still running strong. I feel like I can't keep my eyes off her for second. A couple times Miyu takes a glance at me as well; some are instantaneous, some are a few seconds of lingering. She doesn't say anything, but she doesn't seem to be opposing.

"Where are we heading?" I ask.

"What do you think?" She says absentmindedly.

"I don't know. That's why I'm asking you."

"I mean, if this were our first date, where would you take me?"

There it is again, one of her quizzes. I hesitate for a moment, trying to come up with a good answer. Where do people go on a first date? My thought is recalled to my first date with Isshiki.

"I guess.. a movie?"

"EEEhhh!" she makes a buzzer sound. "Listen! Rule number one: never take your first date to a movie," her index finger points upward and toward me as she lectures me like a mother scolding her child. "On a first date, you must be able to talk a lot and find out about each other. You can't talk during a movie, that's why it's so bad."

"Well, technically, this is not exactly our first date." I glance away from her as I say.

"Heh?! I mean.. those times don't count. Beside, just pretend that it is, okay?!"

"Yeah yeah.."

"Anyway. For a first date, you must be able to talk and being able to do something fun together. So for this morning, I will give you an example."

"Like what?"

"We are heading there, you'll see"

As we continue walking, I can sense gazes aiming at us with my heightened loner sense. It shouldn't be a surprise, someone like Miyu right now would definitely attract a couple of looks. But some reasons, I feel like I just saw something quite familiar; something blond, something flaxen, drifting up and down among the sea of people. I can't tell, but I also don't pay much thought to it. Either way, after a couple more minutes, we finally arrive.

"Billiards?"

"That's right! What do you think?"

"I don't really mind." I make a flat remark.

"Jeez, so rotten."

 _What do you want me to say anyway?!_

Come to think of it, my first date with Isshiki also involved an activity, ping pong. And now it is billiards, it seems like she is on something here.

As we walk inside, Miyu asks:

"By the way, have you played before?"

Billiard huh? I wouldn't say that I know nothing about billiards, but it's true that I haven't played a game in real life.

"I got the basics."

I can't tell her that all of my billiards knowledge comes from mangas and light novels.

"I don't play a lot either, so it should be ok."

We pick a table in the corner. The place is spacious but no window. All light comes from a collection of dangling light balls hanging from the ceiling like vines. Some drop lower and right on top of the pool tables, illuminate the light teal surfaces. Across the walls lay various wavy neon strips. The floor is made of dark wood, rugged from being walked on too many times. In our corner, there is a set of two armchairs and one small table. Light, electronic pop music plays faintly in the background.

We decide to play the classic 8-ball. I line up all the balls, but Miyu is the one who has the first shot. With a swift motion, she launches the cue ball across the table, while I stand at the long side of the table watching the balls disperse. One striped ball goes inside the pocket, and with that, I will be the one who plays solid balls. Miyu continues her turn, but with still so many balls on the table, it's difficult to aim for a good shot. The only open ball is right across the table, and as expected, she decides to go with it. It doesn't work out.

It's my turn now. I'm nervous. This is the first time in my life I make a real life pool shot. I know all the rules and techniques from light novels and video games, but being good at something in video games doesn't equate being good at it in real life. If so, then every sports player would just sit down and play video games all day long.

My left thumb makes a cross with my index fingers as my four fingertips touch the table. My cue stick rests against the cross section. Keep my one of my feet straight, keep my body parallel to the stick, keep my right lower arm perpendicular to the ground, hold the stick with only my thumb and index finger. I should be able to swing my lower arm like a pendulum. Stance, set! Now on to aim. The principle is to shot the cue ball so that the cue ball, the object ball, and the pocket line up straight at contact. There are of course other techniques like curve ball where you need to offset your aim, but for now, I should aim for a straight shot. And thus, I thrust the stick. The cue ball is propelled through the clothed surface and hits the object ball. But the ball doesn't go in.

"My turn," Miyu says while meticulously observing the table. Seems like I put my cue ball in a rather difficult position for her. She has no choice put to continue to hit random to disperse the clusters of balls and pray that one of them goes in. None of them goes in.

"I guess to many balls on the tables is difficult, too," Miyu laments.

I nod slightly while stepping to the table. I pick a target, line up my cue stick with the cue ball and the target, steadily drop the stick onto the table, then shot.

It still doesn't go in.

"Mah, I guess it's your first time, anyway."

Hey, you still haven't pocket any balls aside from the first one. I don't think you can judge me here.

Two fail attempts foul my moods for a bit, so I decide to sit down to unwind myself. In front of me is Miyu with her back facing me, getting ready for her shot.

"!"

My eyes are pried opened. As Miyu drops the stick onto the table, her body also bends over! Her already short dress raises up even higher, exposing nearly the whole length of her smooth-looking thighs! The silky fabric caresses her skin, accentuate the shapely curves from her behind. Just millimetres higher and I can see heaven's doors! _Mein Gott!_ I can't look away, I can't help staring that that as-

"Yes!"

Her body jerks up as she cheers; and at that moment, I finally figure out the truth.

Teal lace.

You did put a lot of attention to your outfits, didn't you? Have them all matched and stuff. Maybe this billiards idea isn't so bad after all.

Miyu suddenly turns to me, making me advert my gaze instantly. She doesn't look too pleased.

"Hikio! You just miss my awesome shot just now! Don't just sit there, we haven't even been here long."

"I get it," I stand up, trying to get my vision occupied by the running neon lights on the wall.

This time I stand in front of her instead. Although, I kind of miss sitting on the chair.

But just before I have a chance to calm myself, I got hit by another attack! As Miyu drops lower to aim her shot, I see two other curves rubbing against each other! The while neon light bounces off her skin, so bright that I feel like I'm staring at the sun, or two suns. And just like the sun I don't think I'm supposed to look straight at them.

 _Nowhere is safe!_

After a while, I just kind of the gave up actually aiming for the ghost ball and just started aiming straight at the ball. Strangely, that actually improved my game a little bit. First game ended with my victory, not because I was good, but because Miyu accidentally pocketed the 8 ball before she was allowed to, and that made my instant victory. We continued to the next round, and have been well into the game for a while now. But honestly, I couldn't care less about the game at that moment.

 _So. Many. Eye candies._

Sitting on the chair, I look through the gaps between my fingers as I'm trying to hide my flustered face, physically and mentally. My body is all heated up and my heart is thrashing around like a hungry monkey. Miyu, you are just way too carefree.

"Your turn," she says.

"Uh.. ok."

I utter some random words as I step up to the table. I only have two balls left and she only has one ball. One of my balls is resting next to the bank on the opposite side and the other, while close to a pocket, is blocked by her ball.

"Did you do that on purpose?" I lament.

"Hm," She makes a smug smile, "who know? Maybe I did, maybe I didn't."

I leer at her for a bit before coming back to examine the table, trying to gauge the choices I have. I know it, I read about it. No matter how impossible it is, it is my most probable choice.

"Miyu, can I borrow your stick for a moment?"

"Hm? What for?"

"I need a shorter stick."

I extend my long stick toward her as she grabs it firmly with both of her palms and strokes it for a bit before standing it straight up the ground. My fingers run across the smooth surface of her stick, and I can feel the warmness where her hands used to touch. No, this isn't the time to think about that.

I point the stick toward her round object that is blocking my ball. I pull it backward, raise the butt up high and point at the cue ball. This is the moment of truth. If I do it right, I should be able to make this shot.

I thrust. As the tip grazes on the table surface, I see something truly magical. The cue ball leaps into the air, over Miyu's ball, slams into my ball and pockets it cleanly. I did it! Although, it was actually an illegal shot since I scooped the ball instead of just pounding it hard against the table. But I did it, and it's not like she will notice anyway.

"What the hell?!"

My body jerks up as Miyu clings to my shoulders from behind. Her hair grazes my cheek as she looks over, and her body is pressing against my back! Too close, too close, Miyu-san! Your scent is choking me!

"That's amazing!" she gasps.

 _No, yours are amazing!_

"Did you mean to do that?!"

"Well…" I return her the smug look she just gave me. "who knows? Maybe I did, maybe I didn't."

Miyu turns frozen for a second before she starts giggling and pokes my cheek. I can't help staring at her glistening pink nails.

"Hm! That's definitely a lucky shot. Don't get too cocky!

In the end, I still lost the game. But all was not lost, at least I still had my wicked jump shot to tell my children, and "that" as well, but like hell I would ever tell my children that part.

And thus, our morning date ends. Time for lunch, I guess.

* * *

 **A/N: ok not the tremendous chapter I intended since the chapter is getting long. But rest assured, the genuine tremendous part is coming shortly!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15: Hikigaya's lie in April**

After the game, we decide to leave and grab some lunch. Miyu and I wander a bit around the neighborhood, none of us has an idea in mind until we come across a Yakiniku house. Why not? I think to myself, Yakiniku seems interesting once in a while, and it looks like she also has the same thought.

The host leads us to a private booth separated by traditional paper walls. There is a U-shape bench with cushion and a table with a grill in the middle. After examining the menu, we decide to go with the all-you-can-eat package. Since it's only weekday and at lunch time, they offer a nice price.

...

Time passes and both of us are already full from the endless supplies of beef, lamb, pork and various vegetables. The food was good, but it's nothing too spectacular. Right now we are just sitting around, trying to rest and finish off our drinks.

"So," Miyu breaks the silence, "where are we going next?"

"I thought you have it all planned out?"

"I already picked mine, now it's your turn!" she laments.

"Don't bother. All the places I know are boring anyway," I look at the half empty glass of ice tea in my hand, feeling the cold, wet condensation running on my fingers.

"It's ok."

I glance at her out of the corners of my eyes. Her arms stay straight and place firmly on her thighs. Her glossy green eyes dart back and forth and her long eyelashes flutters.

"I don't care, just take me to anywhere you like. It's your turn."

My heart skips a beat. You clearly don't know the gravity of the words you just said, Miyu. Anywhere I like can mean a lot of places, you know?

"But don't you dare take me to any place perverted!" Miyu raises her tone while crossing her arms under her chest.

"I- wasn't thinking of that!" I stutter, feeling blood rushing to my face.

"You totally were!"

"Not true! Don't just assume other people's thought like that."

"Your face and reactions are super obvious, you know."

Guh! I'm being driven into a corner. Think, Hachiman, there must be a comeback for this.

"You know," I sneer, "what people assume of others is usually just a reflection of their own thoughts."

"Huh?"

"If you assume that I'm thinking of perverted stuff, then you must be thinking of perverted stuff, too."

She flinches, eyes wide opened as her cheeks slowly turn red.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about! Are you stupid?! Hikimo!" She can barely look straight at me.

"You face and reactions are super obviously, you know," I make a smug face.

Her glistening pink lips open wide, but no word is able to get out. Unable to say anything, Miyu resorts to pouting and glaring at me with the highest intensity. Damn, isn't she kind of cute looking like that? I was taken aback for a totally different reason.

"Anyway-" I say, trying to lighten up the situation, "why don't we get going now?"

"Stupid. Kimo. Hikimo!" She throws some frantic insults at my direction, but her tone has gone softer and more sullen than actually angry.

Now then, the question remains, where should I take her?

…

20 minutes later.

"Bookstore huh?" Miyu says while looking the sign hanging above.

"Yeah."

"I thought you would take me to somewhere else," she says absentmindedly. "Mah, it certainly fits your style."

"If you don't like it, I can pick somewhere else," I mutter, feeling like I'm just talking to myself.

Suddenly, she grabs my arms, as if trying to prevent me from escaping.

"I didn't mean it like that. I mean, I have a place I want to show you afterward. It is quite close to here, so I thought you were taking me there instead. It's ok, we can go in."

We walk inside the store as the old wooden floor creeks faintly under the weight of our feet. This is the bookstore that I usually come and hang around, all because it is quite close to my house and has a nice atmosphere. The tight walkways bring about a sense of coziness, along with the warm wooden colour of the floor, the walls, and the barrage of shelves. The earthy smell of woods and old papers lingers in the air, tickles my nose a bit but is strangely calming. The sun shines through the antique glasses windows, leaving large, bright streaks on the wooden surface. Its rays are cleanly visible under the clusters of dust floating in the air. This place is quite old but quite well keep. Looking from the outside, you would think that it only has old books, but it is actually very up to date. I get almost all of my new books from here. But the best thing about this place is that it rarely has customers. I guess this is bad for the store but it is good news for me. If I pick the right time and with a bit of luck, I can have the whole place for myself for hours.

And right now is definitely one of those times, as there is literally nobody except us and the shopkeeper. Actually, I think the shopkeeper disappears as well.

"So quiet," Miyu tones down her voice into a whisper while looking around the place. "But I guess it is kind of nice and cozy in here."

She then turns to me.

"I'm kind of bored lately so I guess I will read a book or two. Can you recommend me some?"

"Uhm.. what kind of books do you like?"

"Hmm…" Miyu tilts her head as she scratches her chin. "I like fiction, I guess."

"What genres?"

"Hm.. romance, with a bit of comedy and/or drama."

How basic. But regardless, I walk her to the fiction section. I'm kind of just scanning through the shelves and pick up the ones that I know of. Meanwhile, Miyu's also doing her own things, as her gaze slides slowly on the tight row of spine covers. I've picked up four novels already, thinking that this should be enough.

I turn my gaze to Miyu, but she seems to be fixated on something on the upper shelf. She stretches her arm upward to grab it, but still can't quite reach it. Her silky dress ruffles on her skin as she starts tip-toeing.

" _You must have at least gotten to second base, didn't you?"_

I shake my head profusely, trying not to think about it. Normally, you would never think of a bookstore as a perverted place, but thanks to your stupid little sister, my mind has been shoved deep inside the gutter. It doesn't help when there is literally just us in here at the moment. Where are you, mister shopkeeper? No way, Hachiman. There is just no way something like that will ever happen.

"Wo woa…!"

Just as she manages to grab the book, Miyu loses her balance and start stumbling. I lunge forward by instinct, trying to catch her before it's too late!

"Kya!"

Goddammit!

Luckily, she doesn't fall into the floor, but her chest slams against mine instead. Even through my shirt, I can still feel the silky texture of her dress, and the two soft lumps of fat pressing on my body! Her hands grasp firmly on my upper arms while she struggles to regain her stance.

 _For Pete's sake, I swear you are like a rom-com bait!_

Seconds pass by like eternity, I feel like she has been holding on to me since forever. Miyu gazes up at me, her lustrous green eyes are sharp and fierce, and her cheeks flash a light red colour.

"Where do you think you are touching?!" She sulks.

"M-my bad."

I stutter and let go of my hands. Hayama, just how can you not fallen in love with this girl?! You either must have someone else you really love or you must be borderline retarded!

Both of us stand straight up again, barely able to look at one another. I can still feel her body heat lingering on my clothes, and her scent swirling around my limbs like the snake that once tempted Eve, but now I'm the one who falls into its trap.

"Just because it's a mock date doesn't mean you can be touchy feely, okay?" Miyu gently runs her fingers through her curls as she speaks.

"I got it," I can only give a short reply.

We exchange fleeting looks at each other, none is able to say a word afterward. It's getting awkward now. What to do now, Hachiman? My human instinct is desperately searching for a saving grace.

"What book did you pick up?" I open my mouth, trying to change the subject.

"Ah," she brings the cover of the book into my sight, "here"

It's a light novel.

"My Teenage Romantic Comedy Is as Wrong as I Expected," she reads the title of the book out loud. "I've never seen such a long title before, I'm kinda curious."

People has said that it's a way for authors to include a short synopsis since people don't bother to read synopsis anymore. I think at this point, it has become more of a running gag among the light novel writers now. I mean, seriously, did you not see the absolutely absurd titles that they come up with?!

"My teenage romantic comedy is wrong, eh? Hm, sounds like my kind of books."

No, it definitely does not.

"Do you know this one?" she asks me.

"I read it."

"What do you think?"

"It's good, I think." I advert my gaze.

"Then I'll take this. Let's go."

We find a table to sit down. Somewhere among the endless rows of maze-like books shelves, there is a spot near the window with a wooden table and four wooden chairs. The place is filled with warm sunlight, and the air is still with temple-like serenity. I pull a chair out and move to another chair on the other side of the table. Thankfully, Miyu realises my intent and promptly places herself on the chair I just pulled out.

I sit down on my own chair, place the four novels on Miyu's side and place the novel that I picked for myself on my side. I watch her eyeing at the collection for a while. Eventually, she grabs one and starts turning the pages. Only until then I can feel relieved enough to start reading my novel.

Moments pass by while I'm trying my best to focus on the book, but I can't help catching a couple of glances at the angelic figure in front of me. Her golden hair shines under the sunlight, her eyes are scanning attentively on the pages. Her pink lips are slightly open, and the faint sound of her breathing can be heard. Not good. I think the sound of my heartbeat can also be heard as well.

Suddenly, her irises shift toward me, making me turn away instantly. I drill my gaze into the book I'm reading, but then I glance at her again. To my surprise, I catch her still looking at me, and this time she becomes the one who averts her gaze. It's my turn to keep staring at her again. Just seconds after, her eyes dart to my direction again, then quickly dart back. The atmosphere is getting tense, and I have no idea why, maybe just a little bit.

Time continues passing by as I spend my time juggling between reading and exchange looks with Miyu. To be honest, if I could, I would have been fine without the book at all. I feel like I can look at her for hours without getting bored. Just look at her sitting there, basked in sunlight, calmly examining the pages, brushing her hair with her slender fingers once every so often, and that is enough. And yet…

What is this pain inside my chest?

They say ignorance is bliss, an idea that I once scoffed at, but at the moment, I can feel the true weight of its meaning bearing down on my shoulders.

I put down the book I'm reading, as I notice that Miyu also just finishes reading through the beginning parts of the five books:

"What do you like the most?" I whisper.

Miyu plays with her chins as her eyes shifts from books to books for a while. Then, she points at the light novel:

"I find it really easy to read."

That's because it's a light novel.

"Also, the main character is really similar to you, you know that?"

I cut off my eye contact with her. My tone turns defensive.

"There is no way I'm as pathetic as he is."

"Yeah, right." She makes a pompous smile.

"So are you going to get it?"

"Yeah I am. Are you also done?"

"I'm done when you are."

After Miyu purchases the book, we decide to leave. As the door closes behind us, all the sounds come back to life. The bookstore was a bit warm inside, but the cool spring breeze somewhat refreshes our mood. There is still a bit of time until dusk, but the sun is already low on the horizon and you can see several fiery streaks scatters all over the dimming blue sky. Right next to me, Miyu starts stretching her arms over her head, her voice bursts out after being repressed for so long:

"U-uhm! Finally be able to talk normally again."

"Sorry about that."

"It's actually not bad," she smiles at me, "it was so silent that it kinda become exciting all the way around. Plus, it's nice to have the whole place to ourselves."

"Really?"

"Uhum," she smiles

"That's good then," For some reasons, my heart feels strangely relieved.

"Ok, my turn again!"

"We're still continuing?" I lament.

"Of course, the day still hasn't been over yet, plus it' really close from here. Come on, don't be such a killjoy. You must see it."

Her "really close from here" is actually 10 minutes of walking, which is actually quite close if you don't take account into the fact that I have to continue to climb up a hill for another 10 minutes. And judging from the scenery, there is no doubt in my mind that we are walking up to a shrine.

The flight of stairs comes to an end as the trees part way to reveal a small, rather run-down shrine. In front of us is a small wooden gate, marking the beginning of the bleak brick walkway. Four cherry blossoms trees are planted in the large front garden, two on each side. As the wind continues blowing gently, petals cover the ground like pinkish, early snow. Everything else surrounding the temple is just thick, tall shades of trees. There is nobody around, not even the gatekeeper.

We walk through the petal-littered walkway, while I continue observing my surrounding. It's just your run-of-the-mill shrine, there is nothing really special about it,

"When I was young I used to go here all the time, but I haven't been here since my family moved," Miyu says.

I don't think my family has ever been here either. We have always been going to the slightly farther and bigger shrine for all of our ceremony needs for as far as I can remember.

"Wanna make a wish?" she asks,

"Sure."

I guess it's customary to visit a shrine before a new school year. For a soon-to-be third year like me, there is no other wish better than successfully getting into college. Even though most high school students would just wish for their love life, for a third year, even that desire has to be put aside for a while.

We walk right in front of the offering table, standing side by side, and throw some coins into the crannies. As I reach out for the chime, both Miyu's hands and mine lightly touch each other, startling the both of us.

Miyu glances at me with the corners of her eyes. Her cheeks are slightly flustered.

"J-just for today, I'll let you touch, okay? Don't misunderstand. I just want you to get used to a girl's touch."

"I see."

Miyu grabs the ropes and my hands cover hers. Her skin is as smooth as how I imagine, and her warmth is strangely familiar. Don't get sweaty palms, Hachiman! But my heart is still rumbling like mad.

I clasp my hand together and close my eyes for a few seconds. What should I wish for? College? Like I care about that. The thing I really want, the thing that I wish for…

I want something genuine.

Even if it will hurt you in the end?

I have lived alongside the realisation of the world's ugly truths for as long as I can remember. But I didn't choose the ugly truths, the ugly truths chose me, almost as if I am the gospel of the ugly truths itself. But right now, at this moment, I have a choice, to ignore or to expose it all.

"..."

Who am I kidding? A fake will always be a fake and cannot last forever. Even if it hurts to let go, I would rather end it sooner than let it consume me, and leave me with only more pain when the inevitable end arrives.

As I open my eyes, I see Miyu staring at me. How long have I been like this?

"You took your time, huh?" She makes a light smile.

"I have a lot of things to wish for."

"You can't be too greedy, you know?"

 _I know._

"Aren't you gonna ask me what I wished for?"

"What did you wish for?"

Miyu puts her index finger in front of her pink lips as she winks:

"Secret, of course~"

This girl…

"Anyway. I didn't take you here just to pray, there is also one special thing about this place, can you guess it?"

"No idea."

"That's too bad. Let's go, then. I'll show you."

We go off to the right side of the shrine where we discover a small path that parts over the thick tree branches. We walk through the winding dirt road and without a warning, the scenery opens right in front of my eyes.

It's an observatory. On the hillside, there protrudes a small plot of land with fences around and a thick, shady tree in the middle. All the trees in front are now below us, exposes a full view of the city and the glittering sea up in the distance. The angular, rugged surface of thousands of roofs basks in golden light, and the sound of wind is whispering into my ears with a soft, harrowing tone. It's truly a sight to behold.

I rest my arms against the fence and let the cool air graze through my hair and neck. This is it. This is the perfect place to finish a date, but is this even a date? What am I doing? I know what I'm doing, yet I'm still doing it. I turn a blind eye toward the true motive of my actions. I dread it, I cling to a blind hope that it is not the case, that there is still room for changes. Even if everything we did until this point is based on a false premise, and an artificial connection...

Maybe, just maybe, even so, it isn't so bad after all.

"You looks pretty serious there," Miyu breaks the silence. "Are you reminiscing something?"

"Not really?"

"Is that so?"

Her voice is lighter than the wind.

I take a deep breath, and slowly let it all out. My body is running slower, as if it's trying to stall time, as if it's trying to drag this moment even longer. Somewhere in my mind, I wish for this moment to last forever. No, more like I fear of when it reaches the end.

"So, with that," she speaks with a cheery tone, "you are all set now. The step is to set up a date with Yukinoshita, of course."

I grind my teeth. I can't look at her face anymore. She said it. She finally marks the end. I was almost fine with it if you didn't say that word.

It's not just about me straying from who I really am, it's not just about Yukinoshita's request. Even if you tried to change me, but you didn't even do it for my sake. You did it for Yukinoshita's sake, you did it for Hayama's sake, and ultimately, you did it for your own sake. How can I ever think or hope that something like that is genuine? And that is why, it has to end.

"Actually…" I utter.

But how? For all I know, Miyu is a stubborn girl. She won't accept it even if I say so. But there is a way. The principle still remains, if I can't push her away, then I will make her push me away.

"I don't care about Yukinoshita anymore."

"Huh?"

So far, Miyu has considered me to be her friend, then I will have to ruin this friendship. But what can ruin a friendship? For Miyu, what can tarnish a friendship? What can make a good friendship go sour? I should know it best, I've done it before, and I know that she is deadly afraid of it.

I face Miyu upfront and walk toward her. Somehow, my advance takes her aback a little.

"All this time, I've been spending my time with you, not with Yukinoshita."

A rejection.

"You tried, and have changed me on the outside, but don't you know? From the inside, you slowly changed my heart, too."

That is why, I have to be strong. I have to show her that I'm serious. That is why I showed up like this. This is not a joke. I have to show her that I won't back down. I won't take no for an answer!

I continue walking toward Miyu, while she continues backing away, her body coils slightly and slowly becomes stiff.

"Huh, what are you talking about?! Is this some kind of joke?!" Her cheeks are flustered, her eyes can't look at me straight, and her eyelashes are blinking profusely.

"You are the one who changed me! You are the one who makes me a better man. I may have denied it before. But deep down, I'm really grateful. All those times with you, I found out that you are not the girl I once thought, I found out how actually caring and nice you can be, I found out how fun you are with."

Stronger.

Her body jerks up as her back hits the rugged surface of the big tree in the middle. Using my chance, I quickly close down my gap and slam my hand on the tree next to her face, while my face goes in even closer, keeping my stare straight and intense. Miyu's still trying to avoid my gaze, but can't help darting her eyes back and forth. Tiny drops of water can be spotted on her lower eyelids as her long, soft eyelashes flutter. She's breathing heavier, and her body is slightly shaken.

"Hikio.." She makes a weak cry.

Stronger!

"Forget about that son of a bitch Hayama. You know he doesn't care about you. He's a dumbass for ignoring such a wonderful girl like you. But I won't. I will care for you for as long as I can live, I will try my best to make you happy. That is because, Miyu…"

Stronger!

I come on her closer than I have ever been, so close that I can feel her steamy breath grazing on my lips, and our noses are borderline touching. This is it, I'm going in for the kill:

"I love you."

* * *

 **.**

 **.**

 **What will be Miyu's response? Call or text 1-800-HIKIO to submit your prediction, right now!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16: Daily lives of Hikigaya Hachiman**

Under the harrowing setting sun, I deliver my last words to her, three words that I can never take back, three words that finally marks the end of this superficial relationship. Here she is, driven into a corner, shaken and unable to speak. It's a shock for her, I know that; it is my intention all along. This confession was made to be rejected, like a child conceived just to be aborted. It is never meant to be.

With her cheeks still flustered, Miyu peeks at me out of the corner of her eyes.

"R-really?"

"Definitely."

"You will take care of me? Forever?" she looks up at me while fluttering her long eyelashes.

"I will." I keep on pushing myself onto her.

"Mo! I don't know what to do now!" she screeches with her eyes shut tight.

Easy, just say no, or just run away. That's enough of an answer for me.

"How I'm gonna tell my friends about this?!" she laments to herself.

Ah, right. It's only typical, isn't it? Of course she's going to gossip to her friends about my confession. It's not the only time it's ever happened to me.

I look at her staring at the ground for while. I guess it does take a little bit of a moment to let it sink in, but if there is anything new, it would be that Miyu is more emotional than I thought. But just hurry up and say the words, I am in pain, too, you know?

"Okay…" she sighs, "it will definitely be a shock if we tell everybody about it, so for now, we will keep it a secret, ok? Then find a way to ease it in."

Huh?

"I don't quite get what you mean,"

"I mean! You ask me out, right? So I want to keep that a secret, for now," she glances away from me as her fingers play with her golden locks.

"Keep what a secret?"

"Mo! Are you stupid or just trying to play dumb?!" Miyu sulks, but as she continues speaking, her voice goes smaller and smaller. "You know…? You and I… going out…"

Wait, what?!

"You mean you accept my confession?!"

Miyu looks down, eyes hidden behind her bang. With her cheeks still reddened, she gives a slight nod.

Wait wait wait wait wait WAIT! This is not how it supposed to go. Does it mean that Miura Yumiko, the Queen Bee, is now my girlfriend?!

She nods again.

I can't believe it! I can't believe my goddamn mind right now?! Why, how can it work?! Miura, my girlfriend, isn't that just so bizarre? It's almost as bizarre as Donald Trump becoming the president of America for Christ's sake!

"But still!" she raises her voice. "How could you even ask me out without knowing who I really am?!"

"Oh I will have a lot of time to learn who you really are."

"I mean not that!"

She clings to my body. Her soft golden hair caresses on my chest.

"Don't you remember me?" She cries.

*Bang*

Everything turns black, and the air is as cold as ice. There is no more wind, there is no more the sound of swinging leaves. The only sound I can hear is the annoying jingle from my phone, now lying on the floor. I open my eyes, and the only thing I can see is an old bland blackened ceiling.

Son of a bitch.

What a cruel dream to have.

But dreams will be dreams, and reality will still be reality. They are two worlds that can never intersect. This isn't television, friend, and there can be only one outcome.

"…"

I exhale slowly through my nostrils, feeling a little bit light-headed. I should get up soon, after all, another school year has started.

I mindlessly carry out my morning duty, wash my face, brush my teeth, get dress, and pack my school bag. Everything is ready as I head to the door. I take a final glance at my room and catch a glimpse of a pair of glasses on my desk as the door is slowly closing shut.

…

"Ta da."

Komachi makes a childish tune as she jumps into the living room, sporting a full set of Sobu's uniform.

"Even through you are technically a high school student now, you still look like a little kid," I comment.

"Rude!" she pouts, hands on her hip. "At least call me cute or something."

"Hm, it's not like Sobu uniform will make you cute or anything. Because you are already always cute."

"That's super gross but thanks for the comment!" Komachi screeches. "Also, that are some good Komachi points right there."

"Yeah yeah," I dismiss her with a yawn.

"Are you excited for the new school year?" her eyes shine brightly as she speaks.

"Look, my dear sister. First, nobody is excited about school. Second, nobody is especially excited about third year in high school. Third year marks the end of your carefree life, and afterward, almost all of us has to deal with college entrance exams. I think it's pretty objectively obvious to everybody that high school third year is the worst year of your school life."

Plus, I just don't feel like looking at her again.

"Mo, I bet you can spin any school year into the worst school year of your life."

"That… is actually quite true," I have to admit.

But, I guess for you, who is still a freshman, this school year must be excited for you. I can see the fire that was once burning inside me, until it was run over by an expensive car. Even though she is a freshman, she already has a bunch of connections in school, all thanks to me, I guess.

"Anyway, we need to get moving now," I say.

"Okay!" She makes a big smile.

…

Monday. School. Morning.

It's still a bit early in the morning. Since it's Komachi first day, she wanted to go to school earlier than normal, and as her brother and driver, it is my duty to stick with her until the end. Here am I, sitting in my usual seat next to the wall like my last year, finding leisure in seeing the students that will be returning to this class and the new guys. Since this is the year that we split majors, the class will undoubtedly be rearranged.

As more students start dropping in, there is actually not a whole lot of new students. This is a humanities class now, and it looks like the majority of my old class chose it. This is no surprise for me, science has always received the shorter end of the stick.

"Yahallo Hikki!" Yuigahama waves at me as she walks into the classroom.

She hops her way towards me. Her overly cheery expression makes me a bit taken aback:

"How was your break?" she asks.

"It was a bliss," I make a dry smile. "Staying at home and going nowhere, that's where life is at."

It was a lie obviously, but telling that it has been a rollercoaster of emotions for me would only make her even more intrigued, and then she will try to dig out even more information from me. Right now, I just want to forget it all.

"Hahaha is that so?" Yuigahama makes an awkward laugh. "Mah, I guess that's you are a bit right. But, sometimes it's good to go outside for a bit, you know."

"I guess so," I reply indifferently.

"Isn't it?!" her eyes light up. "There was a big ice cream festival here last week! I wanted to go there so bad but I had to go on vacation with my family..."

My body jerks up. Crap! That was a close call. What would happen if she had actually gone to the festival?

"I don't really pay attention to events and stuff."

"Don't you think it's fun?!"

"I guess it can be kind of fun." What do I know? Aside from actually attending it in person, that is.

"Hm… lots of our old classmates are in this class. I guess humanities is the more popular choice, don't you think so? Hikki is humanities for sure, I don't even need to ask you for that," Yuigahama fixes a light smile.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Cause you're pretty good at Japanese, of course."

"I guess so. I also know that you would pick humanities for sure."

"Eh, how so?"

"'Cause you suck at sciences, of course," I smile dryly.

"Wha-" Yuigahama's throat turns stiff. "Stupid Hikki! That's not the reason I chose humanities at all!"

It's no strange fact to everyone that it's easier to be bad at science subjects than at humanity subjects. Everyone just picks the path of the least resistance, and Yuigahama is no exception.

But she continues standing there and starts fidgeting around.

"At least, not the only reason…"

"Yahallo, Hachiman, Yui-chan."

This soft, graceful voice can only come from one person. There he is, now standing next to Yuigahama and greeting me with a brilliant smile.

Totsuka Saika. Humanities.

"Yahallo, Saika-kun," Yuigahama greets back.

"Morning," I utter.

"How was your break?" Yuigahama turns to Totsuka.

!

It hits me so suddenly, feeling like my heart is being squeezed by a scrawny, wrinkly witch hand. Her golden locks shimmer as she strolls into the room, her eyes are as intimidating as ever. Her demeanor is nonchalant and her gaze is straight ahead, not noticing anything from the sideline. She sits down on her usual seat, pulls out her phone and starts fiddling with it, without a single care to her surroundings. She looks exactly like how I first saw her in class, I feel like I haven't seen this particular girl since a very long time ago.

Miura Yumiko. Humanities.

"Ah, Yumiko's here! Talk to ya later, I gotta say hi to Yumiko," Yuigahama says as she waves goodbye to me.

Then just minutes after, another person arrives. His arrival creates a stir in the classroom, as his friends start cheering around and making loud noises, as Miura's face lights up at the scene of his casual, happy-go-lucky smile.

Hayama Hayato. Humanities.

The questions that everyone once went crazy about has been now answered. Actually, it has been answered while back ago, but this is definitely the final nail in the coffin.

"I'm actually just here to say hello to you guys, since I am a student of class 3-A now."

… is what I imagine him saying as the loud chatters in the classroom obscure their conversation. But even so, seeing her enthusiastic expression, I know for a fact that what I just imagined was nothing but pure fantasy, like the dream I had just before.

My mood sinks like a rock at the bottom of the Marianas Trench as I bury my face into my folded arms. Let it go, let it go, Hachiman. It's just business as usual, Hachiman. Everything is back to where they start. You were fine back then, you will be fine now. After all, there was nothing to hold on…

There was nothing between me and her after all. Nothing at all. Stop lying to yourself, Hachiman, stop assuming things, Hachiman. Remember the last time that you did. Wasn't a very good time, was it? Don't make the same mistake.

…

The seemingly eternal opening ceremony finally ended and we are back to our classroom and start drawing new seating arrangement. I finally say goodbye to my miserable seat next to the wall, as my new seat is now next to the window, second one from the last. As I sit down, I feel strangely at home, almost like I am meant for this seat. I bask in the bright sunlight shines through the glass, my imagination is overflowing as I view a thousand cherry blossoms petals scatter all over the air.

Yuigahama is just next to me diagonally. Miura is in the bottom seat, with an aisle of desks between me and her. Hayama is sitting in front of Miura with one seat in between, on the right next to Yuigahama. Unfortunately, Totsuka got seated on the front row.

Resting my chin on my palm, I don't bother listening to the homeroom teacher but instead enjoy my new view. Sadly, the fluttering cherry blossoms soon hammer me back to the memories of what actually happened.

…

Last Friday. Shrine. Dusk

The sun was setting, the wind was blowing. I could feel her golden hair strands caressing on my cheeks. If I had moved in any step closer, I would have definitely touched her lips. She had to pull back.

A strong force pressed on my chest and halted my advance. Both of her shaken hands clasped firmly on the fabric of my shirt. Her bangs covered her eyes, she's making swift, abrupt breath through her nostrils. It's terrifying just to see her like that.

"How dare you…"

Miyu pushed me away, while using me as a leverage to propel herself. The sound of her heels clicked frantically on the ground as her body was quickly swallowed by the forest.

I slowly slumped forward and slammed my head on the thick tree trunk. I turned around, let my back slide on the rugged wooden surface. I could still feel it on my hand, a wet sensation caused by a droplet of salty liquid. My head drooped down low like a bubble head. My mouth tasted bitter.

Escape plan, success.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Sorry guys, I screwed up. I didn't realise that Zaimokuza chose science. That part is now gone, so right now only you guys who is with this fic before this chapter will know what it is about. Anyway, please enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

 **Chapter 17: Date a Loner**

Wednesday. Classroom. After class.

The final bell rings, signaling the end of a school day. The sun is hovering just above the horizon, its warm sunlight shines on my face through the glass surface. Sitting on my new window seat, second from the last, I let out a light sigh, feeling slightly relieved that the day is finally over. Well, not really because this is the first day that club resumes, which means that I once again take on my regular duty as a 'club member', and of course, so does my other fellow club member, who is feeling overjoy right now.

But I took a glance at certain blonde hair figure. Nothing. She quickly packs her stuff, stands up and walks out of the classroom without any wavering. There has been no word from her, no text, no gesture, no look, no nothing. Sometimes I wonder that if everything, not just the event at the shrine, was all just a dream. Honestly, at this point, it would be better that it was all just a dream, so that I wouldn't have any lingering. Or maybe there was a highly intelligent omniscient alien entity who just completely altered the fabric of space and time and created an alternate reality, the kind the alternate reality that fan fiction writers come up with to satisfy their pairings, the bad kind of fan fiction if I might add.

"Hikki!"

Yuigahama cheer of joy diverts my attention. When I catch her eyes, she is already leaning over with her hands planted on my table, the one next to the window, second from the last.

"Let's go to the club together!" she makes a bright smile.

"I'm on it. By the way, aren't you a bit too excited?"

"What? Of course I am. I can't wait to see Yukinon again. Aren't you excited to see her?"

My throat chokes. That's right, Yukinoshita is in the club room. For some reason, the thought of her makes me feel strangely nervous.

"Well… a bit, I guess. I'm as excited as you are."

"Hehe," Yuigahama laughs awkwardly while scratching her chin. "Ah, gonna go pack my stuff, we can talk on the way."

A few moments later.

I'm walking next to my busty airhead classmate on the way to the club. We made some small conversations on the way while I replied out of common courtesy, but right now, we are just walking silently. Yuigahama has the already noticed that silence to me is not always a bad thing, and we have grown to be comfortably silent around each other. Here I am, watching the sunset through the hallway windows, the same view I have with my new window seat, second from the last. I'm going to see Yukinoshita again very soon, and I'm starting to feel very nervous. I don't know what it is but I feel like I haven't seen her for a very long time. You can say that time passes by slower when there is a lot of thing going on. Well, things finally came to an end, and nobody noticed a thing. I'm back to my normal self, Yuigahama is still her normal self, and…

I'm sure she is back to her normal self as well.

My last strong memory of Yukinoshita was when she made that request. I still remember that request, in fact, I think I might keep it too close to heart. I wonder what is she doing right now? Is she well? Has she finally taken care of her family business? I doubt that it can be that simple. I honestly don't know what should I do now when I meet her.

"Yahallo!" Yuigahama shrieks as she slides the door wide open, hand raised high.

The sun radiates behind her backs, the outline of her glossy, ebony hair looks like it's glowing. She sits gracefully at the end of the long table, the same spot as usual, inside the same beat up classroom with all the chairs and tables shoved neatly in the corner. Her gaze slowly escapes the pages of the book she's reading and lands on us. She greets us with a faint smile, giving off a faint warmth like the sun on Christmas Day.

"Welcome," she says.

"Yukinon!" Yuigahama shrieks as she hops her way into the room, drags the chair very close to where Yukinoshita is sitting. Meanwhile, Yukinoshita is a bit taken aback with Yuigahama's advance. She is still a bit awkward after all this time, but she doesn't really object or anything, like a distressed kitten receiving a sudden head rub. She doesn't expect it, but damn if it doesn't feel good.

I pull my chair back to the usual spot as well, put down my bag and draw out the novel that I'm currently reading. This place, when without request coming in, is no less like a book club for me and Yukinoshita. As for Yuigahama, I guess this is a place for her to continue annoying people around.

"…"

I catch myself staring at the cover of the novel. Ah, right. This is the novel I got since that time at the bookshop, with a certain girl that I'm sure doesn't exist anymore. But I remember it; with every word I read, I catch a glimpse of her image flashing in my head. Goddamnit, I really want to finish this book.

Yukinoshita already finished making tea. With my eyes appeared to be glued to the pages, I notice her floating toward me with a tray holstering my cup of tea. Only when she is next to me I can take a glance at her. As she slowly puts down the cup onto a Pan-san coaster, her hair drops lower and I can smell the faint, but prominent, sophisticated rose aroma from her shampoo. Where do you get this stuff? Are you sure that it is sold on the market? Seeing her like this, I have to wonder why there was a time where I found this girl insufferable.

"Thanks," I utter.

Holding the tray in front of her chest, she makes a contemplating sigh.

"Haizz… I wonder why would you even come back here."

Never Mind I know the reason now!

"What is that supposed to mean?" I leer at her.

"With your attitude and characteristics, I didn't expect that you would come back to the club this year. In fact, I didn't expect that you would go to school at all in your third year."

"Do you still think that I'm some sort of a NEET or something."

"Think?" she acts surprised. "Why would I ever have to do that? I don't spend time thinking that the sun rises in the east, do I?

Are you saying that me being a NEET is as matter of a fact as the sun rising in the east? You truly are a devil woman.

"Hey there…" comes Yuigahama weak cry.

"Hm! There is no way I'm leaving this club anytime soon. I still have that contest to win, you see." I scoff.

Yukinoshita gasps and takes a step back.

"So are you saying that the only reason you stay is to try to win that contest so that you can unleash your beastly nature! You are truly a disgusting man!"

No wait, that doesn't come out right! I'm only purely interested in winning, no more no less, trust me.

"Yahallo!"

The door slides opened only to reveal an excited girl with vixen hair color and a pink cardigan. It is no other than a certain foxy junior, Isshiki Iroha.

"Yahallo Irohasu!" Yuigahama cheerfully greets back.

The junior hops into the room, takes a chair and makes herself at home without a second thought. It's almost like she is another member of the club, even though she is not. Yukinoshita, you might want to ask that question to her instead, at least I'm still an official member, and not just any member, the very first member of the club itself.

"You can say I'm an honorary member," Isshiki says.

"That's right! It's alright. The Service Club welcomes everyone on board. Anyone can come in and stay as long as they want. It's one of our club policies." Yuigahama says.

I'm sure you just pull that out of your ass, or your bust to be exact.

"But enough of that trivial stuff," Isshiki looks at me with intense eyes and bashing eyelashes. "Senpai~ how is your spring break?"

I quickly avert my gaze. What is your game here? Are you trying to tell everybody here about our little adventure? I still remember the taste of Wasabi in the ice cream.

"Nothing much. Why you ask?" I utter out of reflex.

"Really? I thought that your break might be a lot more flavourful than that," she says with a generic cheerful smile, but kick me if it doesn't reek of undertone.

"It is how you want to see it," I response with a cryptic message.

"Uhm uhm!" Isshiki nods her head.

With her still smiling face, she stares at me for a while, almost like she is expecting me to say something.

"Aren't you gonna ask me how was my break?"

"How is your break?" I give a flat reply, feeling uneasy at her unusual demeanor.

"Nothing much for me, too. Actually, the same as you~"

She throws at me a wink and a cheeky smile. What the hell was that? You make it sounds like we are within a circle of inside jokes that only you and I can understand. As expected, both Yukinoshita and Yuigahama are both eyeing me down with weird expressions on them. Are you having way too much fun now? There must be a limit of your slyness level, isn't there?

The door opens once again, violently so I might add.

"Yahallo!"

I recognise that screechy voice way before my eyes can register the image of a certain first-year who has been living under the same roof as me for so long. But she is not alone, right next to her is.. oh god no!

"Ya, Onii-chan!" It is NOT my sister that just calls me.

"Yahallo Komachi-chan! Wow, you look cute in your uniform!" Yuigahama chums in, then turns to the twin tail girl. "And, ano…"

"Ah.." Komachi gestures her palm towards her fellow freshman. "This is Kotomi. She is one of my closest friends since middle school."

"Nice to meet you." Kotomi takes a bow.

"Nice to meet you, Kotomi-chan!" Yuigahama smiles.

"Why are you calling this disgusting man Onii-chan?" Yukinoshita says.

"That is… because, I'm Onii-chan's illegitimate sister!" Kotomi makes a hearty smile as she speaks.

 _Oh My GoD!_

The whole group erupts. With her mouth slightly opened, but Yukinoshita is unable to say anything while Isshiki pops up from her seat.

"EeeeEEH!" Yuigahama's holler rings through the room. "Hikki! Is that true?"

"Of course not!" I exclaim. "She is Miyu's little sister!"

"Miyu?" Yukinoshita says.

Shit!

"I mean Miura. My tongue slips," I'm sweating from the back of my neck.

"Ah right!" Yuigahama says. "I thought that I might saw you somewhere, but I can't seem to put a finger on it. You are definitely Yumiko's sister. I kind of saw you sometimes when Yumiko showed me her pictures. She doesn't talk much about you, though."

"Ya, I've been found out," Kotomi smiles awkwardly as she scratches her head.

"So you are Miura Yumiko's sister?" Yukinoshita says.

"That's right!"

"Pardon my rude interruption. It is nice to make an acquaintance of you, Kotomi-san."

"Likewise."

"But if you are truly Miura's sister, then my question is still unanswered."

"Ah, Komachi and I went to her house a couple of times and we kinda got to know each other there. He wanted me to call him Onii-chan, so I just went along with that."

"Uwah!" Yuigahama shrieks. "That's ultra gross, Hikki! Making a younger girl call you Onii-chan."

"Truly deplorable," with her arm crossed, Yukinoshita sighs while shaking her head.

 _Why are you guys till listening to her? Didn't she just prove that she is a pathological liar?!_

"She was the one who suggested it." I utter.

"Look at him now. He's trying to shift the blame to a little girl instead." Yukinoshita comments to Yuigahama.

"Hm! That's mean Hikki!"

 _Gah! I give up._

"Ano…"

Isshiki draws the room's attention toward her; she looks somewhat confused by the situation.

"This is a lot to take in at the moment. I'm not sure I get what is really going on."

"Ah, sorry!"

Yuigahama quickly shifts herself between the freshmen and Isshiki.

"I don't think you guys has actually met each other before. So, this is Komachi. She is Hikki's real sister."

"Nice to meet you," Komachi bows.

"And this is Miura Kotomi. She is actually Yumiko's sister."

"Nice to meet you." Kotomi bows.

"And this is Isshiki Iroha. She's our club honorary member."

Are we still going on with the honorary member? When did this become official? I'd like to see the document for it.

"Nice to meet you! I'm also the manager of the football club and the student council president."

"Student council president!" Kotomi utter. Both of them have their mouths slightly open.

Ah, right. Sometimes I completely forget that she is the student council president. She just doesn't fit the image at all. I would imagine the student council president to be a calm, collected, intelligent brunette, not some jumpy girl in the football club. Wait, did I just imagine Yukinoshita?

Then Komachi looks like she just snaps out of something. She turns to me and speaks with a quick and low tone.

"Is she the one that you cheated your way to the student council president title."

"Gah. Well… I wouldn't call it cheated."

"I can hear it over here you know?" Isshiki laments.

"Sorry, Iroha-senpai," Komachi glances at her with sharp eyes and a half ass smile. "It's just that you are pretty infamous, you know? I have heard quite a bit about you."

"Heeh… What a coincidence. I also heard infamous things about you, too."

Wait. What is this strange, instinctually animosity coming from both of them? Is this what they call 'conflict of the character archetype'. When two characters of the same archetype appear together, they usually don't get along very well. What is this, Gintama? I can already see virtual sparks flying from their eyes.

"Onii-chan," Kotomi turns to me instead. "Even though I already called you Onii-chan, but now I'm also your underclassman, so I can also call you senpai, too. Would you like me to call you Onii-chan or senpai?

Isshiki instantly throws a death glare at us.

"E- well.. I think.." I scratch my head, then make a sigh. "No need to change I think."

"Okaay!" Kotomi smiles cheerfully.

On the side, Yuigahama starts whispering into Yukinoshita's ears, while the brunette nods with a serious expression in my general direction.

 _Just please, stop._

"Anyway, what business do you have coming here?" I change the subject.

"There is no way I'm not visiting the club now that I started school her," Komachi says. "Also, I wanted to introduce Kotomi to everyone."

 _Why would you ever want to do that? Can't you see that she's a little devil?!_

"So you don't have any request right?"

"Not really," Komachi smiles cheerfully.

"Then leave," I exclaim. "We have to make room for other people's requests."

"Oh wait, we actually have a request," Komachi says.

"What is it?"

"Please let us hang out here for a while."

Gah. This is cheating.

"Ok fine. I'll give you 10 minutes."

"Onii-chan, last time I check, you are not the leader of this club, so I'm going to hang with Yukinon-san instead."

 _Why you little…_

On one end of the table, there are Yukinoshita, Yuigahama, Isshiki, and Komachi; and on the other end, there is only me and… Kotomi?

The twin tail girl sits just right across me. With her elbows on the table and chin on her palms, she looks at me with a gleaming smile. What do you want now?

"Onii-chan~" she glances to the other group, "so I guess this must be your harem, right?"

I spit out my tea.

"Don't be ridiculous!" I cough.

"Harem?" Yuigahama speaks with a blank expression.

"H-harem?!" Isshiki becomes startled. "Who's having a harem here?! Definitely not senpai at all!"

"I think you misunderstand something here, Kotomi-chan," Yukinoshita speaks in a calm demeanor. "Last time I check, Hikigakun-kun is in no way a Sultan and Japan is not an Islamic country, so a harem is objectively impossible."

I sigh. It's only Yukinoshita who understands the meaning of the word in the most literal sense. But on the other hand, I'm surprised that Isshiki knows the meaning of the word. Don't tell me that she's also a closet otaku?

"She probably doesn't mean it that way, though," Isshiki laughs awkwardly. "No, never mind."

It's only the first day of the club but she already dropped a bombshell.

"Since Onii-chan is the only boy in the room, isn't that what a harem is?" She makes an innocent smile.

"That doesn't mean anything! You're saying like we all love him or anything, cause that's not.. true," Isshiki voice gradually becomes slower and lower. "Ah! Komachi-san is here. She definitely not in love with him, so it's definitely not a harem!"

Kotomi busts out laughing.

"Is it really so?" she wipes the tears off her eyes. "Just kidding!"

Awkwardness is in the air for a while but is soon brushed aside to makes room for overjoy chatters and laughter. Yukinoshita is stuck in the middle, while Yuigahama, Komachi, and Isshiki are having a blast, and by a blast, I mean a blast at each other. Poor Yuigahama, first she had to be the peacekeeper between Yukinoshita and me, now it has become Komachi and Iroha. She really is the one that has been keeping the group dynamics together, like a true neutral.

Meanwhile, Kotomi is still sitting across me, gleefully watching the group going at each other.

"Not going to join them?" I ask.

She shakes her head lightly.

"I'm just like you, Onii-chan."

"Really?"

"I'm cheerful and friendly when I have to be, but when my energy levels run out, I'm just like you," her smile has indeed become much milder than before. "First day in school, you know. That type of day usually drains battery faster than others."

"I see."

"What book are you reading anyway?"

"It's a science fiction novel."

"Did you get it from your bookstore date?" She whispers.

"Don't remind me!" I scold her.

"Oops, sorry."

…

Thursdays. School. Lunch break.

Time for lunch. Usually, I would just go out of the class to my favourite spot. But now, with such a good seat I'm having, next to the window, second from the last, I feel tempted to just stay here and eat. I guess it's fine as long as no one else is bothering me.

Out of the corners of my eyes, I see a commotion at the class door. There are two students not from my class shuffling around at the door, looking like they are only first-years.

"…"

Not again!

Sitting on my window seat, second from the last, I glance to a certain blonde hair figure. As expected, she has a stiff expression with her mouth agape as she witnesses two high school freshmen enter the classroom. As usual, Yuigahama quickly waves them toward her table, along with Miura, Ebina, Hayama, and the usual clique.

"Ya, Yumi-nee." Kotomi smiles impishly.

"You know her, Yumiko?" Tobe belches.

"Well, she is my little sister after all," Miura says begrudgingly.

"Woa!" Tobe hollers. "Wait a minute, yeahh, I remember that you do have a little sister!"

"Nice to meet you." Kotomi bows.

"Nice to meet you, Kotomi-chan," Hayato makes a light smile. "I'm Hayama Hayato. Even though I've seen you in pictures, I think this is the first time I see you in person."

"Me too… Blondie-senpai."

"Oooh that's bold!" Tobe barks, "Yo, I like this girl already."

Hayama chuckles while still keeping a bright face.

"That's good. I've never been called like that before, I'm honored."

"She's a bit of a foul mouth," Miura sighs.

"And I'm sure you guys know her already," Yuigahama says, "but this is Komachi-chan, she is Hikki's sister."

Komachi situates herself in front of Miura.

"Nice to meet you, Yumiko-senpai, right?"

"Ah.. yes, hello." Miura is bit taken aback with my sister's sudden advance.

"Even though we kind of met before, but now that I take a closer look, you really are pretty."

"Ah.. thank you," Miura says, still a bit at a lost.

"Man, Komachi-chan is pretty cute herself don't you think? It's hard to believe that she's actually Hikitani's sister." Tobe yodels.

 _It's none of your business and take your disgusting eyes off my sister! Why don't you gorge yourself in the eyes and jump off a bridge, Tobe!_

"Ah, since you are Kotomi's sister and we are close friends, I feel like you are kind of like my sister, too. So is it ok for me to call you Yumiko-nee-san?"

"Huh? Well, I don't really mind."

"Thank you, Onee-san!"

 _Just shoot me._

"Anyway, what are you doing in my classroom?" Her sharp gaze turns toward Kotomi.

"I'm here to have lunch of course."

"I said I was not interested, didn't I?" Miura says.

"Oh, don't worry. Sorry Yumi-nee, I can't have lunch with you today, because…"

My body startles as Kotomi runs off toward me. She puts the lunch box on her hand onto my table, the one next to the window, second from the last.

"Onii-chaan~ let's have lunch together, shall we?" her smile is beaming.

I feel my breath coming to a stop at her words. Instinctually, my gaze turns to the group again. Miura looks completely flabbergasted, Yuigahama makes an awkward smile, Ebina looks like she's enjoying a circus act, Hayama is having mildly surprised yet joyous look. The fact that she just casually called me Onii-chan just makes it worse.

Komachi slowly follows suit as she pushes a nearby empty table next to my table, which is right next to the window, second from the last. She takes a chair and sits next to me, while Kotomi is sitting just right across.

"Are you sure about this?" I whisper.

"Hm? Why would I not sure about this?"

"People are looking, you know. What about your sister?" I whisper.

"I don't care about those trivial things. I just want to have lunch with you."

Oi oi don't say things that will cause misunderstanding, will you? Oh who am I even kidding at this point? She is not going to stop anytime soon.

Another lunch box slams on the table, which is next the window, second from the last. It's the Queen Bee nonetheless. She shuffles around to find an empty chair then situates herself next to Kotomi.

"There is no way I'm letting you having lunch with my sister by yourself." Her fiery words are directed at me.

"Yay! Yumi-nee joins us."

Miura leers at Kotomi.

"Mo! You are just too much to handle you know that! That's why I can't introduce you to any of my friends."

I agree.

"Hey!"

Another lunch box slams on the table, which is brightly illuminated by the sunlight through the glass windows and just in front of the last row. It's Yuigahama.

"I'm eating with you guys, too!" she sounds determined.

And thus, Yuigahama occupies the last side of the table, which is actually two table combined, right next to the window, second one from the last.

"Why are you calling him Onii-chan. Did he make you do that? How gross…"

"Mah, it's like how Komachi can call you Onee-san that's all. We are kind of like sisters now, so our siblings are our siblings."

"That's right, Onee-san." Komachi smiles.

"Tch," Miura looks away, "this whole thing is stupid."

Lunch continues rather normally. Everyone is eating, there is a couple of small talks now and then. The atmosphere is relaxed, but my mind is all tensed. In a sense, I'm eating lunch with Miura at school, isn't that just so out of the ordinary? And definitely not what I have planned. Aren't things supposed to go back to where it used to be?

I see it now. I did cut off my ties with Miura, but there is one thing that I haven't cut off: my ties with Kotomi. That is why there are still some lingering effects.

But what I did cannot be undone, and not even someone like Kotomi can salvage that. What matters now is that I keep my cool and normalise my interaction with Miura, and no more freak-out. She will quickly realise what is actually going one and give up soon.

"These eggrolls are delicious!" Kotomi says as she finishes off the last one on her bento.

"Really?" Miura says. "I hate them actually, you can have mine if you want."

Miura starts putting her eggrolls in Kotomi's bento.

"Eh? But I thought eggroll is your fa-"

"You talk too much, Yui!" Miura scolds her.

"Oops, sorry!" Yuigahama body jerks up as she realises what Miura actually meant.

Well, turns out Miura is indeed a caring sister after all.

I take a glance to Kotomi who happily accepts her eggrolls, but then her gaze kind of aims toward me instead.

"Would you like my eggroll, Onii-chan?"

"Kotomi!"

That was close! I almost freak out here. But at last, I keep my cool.

"Not interested." I boringly dismiss her.

I don't bother looking at Miura. For some reasons, I actually dread the thought of doing that.

"By the way," Yuigahama speaks up, trying to appear cheery. "Just some random thought, but it seems like Hikki and Yumiko have gotten a little bit closer, don't you think?"

What a hit, Yuigahama! I'm ready for it, but I'm worried that Miura is not.

But then, with a cold, dead voice, Miura calmly exclaims:

"Huh? Like hell that would ever happen. You're funny, Yui."

"Mah, it's just that it seems like you guys got closer, that's all," Yuigahama says.

"Well, she came to the club several times, and there was that time we went to Destiny Land, so I guess that's what you mean by 'closer'."

I take a glance at Miura. She doesn't even bother to listen what I said and continues with her lunch.

"I guess so! But it's kind of a cool coincidence that Yumiko's sister and Hikki's sister are close friends."

"Doesn't matter to me," Miura says. "She can be friend with whoever she wants."

"Ah, I see…"

I keep silent, and with that, the topic is brutally dismissed. Sorry Yuigahama. Thus, lunch continues without anything significant going on.

I look to the scenery out of my window seat, second from the last. The school ground is absolutely empty, the wind is completely silent, and the fiery sun is blazing on the bland, soulless concrete.

Everything goes on as normal.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18: Golden Time**

Friday. Night. Hachi's room.

"This isn't right!"

Sitting on my computer chair, I disgruntledly stare at a certain figure on my bed bouncing up and down, looking a bit restless. I just got home from my part time job. Yes, I still have that job. Blame my conscience but it just doesn't feel right to quit two months in, maybe a couple of months before I start putting out my notice. So right now, I'm home, I'm groggy, I'm tired, I just want to be by myself and have a rest, but at the moment simple pleasure like that all seems way too far fetch.

"Why are you still here? It's 11:30 already," I ask.

"I'm having a sleepover with Komachi," Kotomi happily replies.

Sitting on my bed is once again the sister duo that has been terrorising my life since my new school year. They attacked me while I was having club activity, they attacked me during class, and now they attack me at my own safe haven.

"But enough of the unimportant stuff, we have a more serious problem to deal with right now."

 _No, we don't._

"Onii-chan, I know you and Yumi-nee are trying to keep this a 'secret'," she makes two quotation mark gestures in the air, "but when we had lunch with you guys, it just didn't feel right!"

"Uhm uhm, I felt it, too. You guys seemed like complete strangers," Komachi remarks.

Both sisters look at me like they are expecting an explanation from me, but the only thing I can give them is a shrug.

"The atmosphere just felt.. dead you know?" Kotomi says. "I was expecting both of you and Yumi-nee to get all embarrassed and stuff but none of that happened."

"So you were trying to embarrass me," I exclaim.

"Let's focus on the main subject here, Onii-chan. This doesn't seem right at all, or are you guys just really good actors?"

I'm tempted to tell her that it is all real, but then it hits me and I really have to wonder. Was what I did the other day my real feeling or was it just all acting? For some reasons, I can give it neither of the answers. It was real in a sense that it was how our relationship should have been, but I felt like I forced myself through it. What about Miura? Was she acting as well? No, it doesn't matter now. What matters is that she decided to act that way, and that is good enough to show her resolve. It's better to just think that it is real, because he who expects nothing, loses nothing. I learnt that lesson the hard way.

"Listen, Kotomi. I'm going to tell you the whole truth and the absolute truth, I swear on every single godly deity in the sky."

Both Komachi and Kotomi start crawling closer to me, their stares fix at me attentively.

"During the school break, I confessed to her, and I got rejected."

It is the truth, the absolute truth. It is the truth no matter what angle you are looking at. But what is this nauseating feeling of guilt crawling on my back? Somewhere deep beneath the pitch black abyss echoes a weak cry about its true nature, a lie conveniently masked by the truth. Time is slowly passing by as the realisation starts seeping into the two sisters.

"EeeEEH!" both cry out.

"What do you mean you got rejected!" Kotomi screeches. "I thought you guys are already way passed that!"

"That is just your imagination. I never say anything of the sort."

"Eh?! No way…" Kotomi frowns.

"It is what it is," I mutter.

Kotomi and Komachi flop down on my bed like a pair of rag dolls.

"I can't believe it," Kotomi laments. "If you take in your behaviours during our lunch, it makes way too much sense."

"That is everything you need to know. Mystery solved."

Kotomi bounces back up.

"So what are you going to do now?

"What am I going to do? It's over. End of story. There is nothing for me to do now."

"Eh?! No way, there must be something!"

"Look, Kotomi."

I put on a commandeering voice.

"I just got rejected by your sister, then you set me up to have lunch with her. Right now, I just got back to from work. I'm groggy, I'm tired, I just want to rest. Can you please leave me alone?"

Kneeling on my bed, both sisters are unable to say anything. On their faces are two guilty frowns. Honestly, I really do hate seeing them looking like this, but I can't let them have their way forever.

"I understand," Kotomi mutters.

"It's fine." I look away.

"I think we should get going," Komachi says.

Kotomi sighs while making a contemplating nod.

"Thank you," I say.

"Make sure to get some rest, ok?" Komachi says. "Don't just stay up, you need to get a good sleep."

"I will."

"Night, Onii-chan," Komachi says as she hustles Kotomi to the door.

"Night."

"Goodnight, Onii-chan," Kotomi says as she slowly closes the door.

"Night."

So I just go to sleep. Not like there is anything else for me to do. When you sleep, you don't think; and thinking is probably the last thing I want to do at the moment. I yawn, a big one nonetheless. Perfect, I can probably fall asleep the moment the room turns dark and my head touches the pillow.

…

Saturday. Morning. Hachi's room.

The bright sunshine through the window awakes me from my dreamless slumber. I feel like I only just fell asleep ten minutes ago, this is not enough. It's weekend anyways, so a little more sleep won't hurt. Screw you, sun. The curtain in my room is useless, but that is not going to stop me.

But then I notice that my bed is more crowded and hotter than normal, then I notice a frail body clinging onto mine, buried under the blanket. Ah right, since Kotomi stayed over, my sister must have sneaked into my bed to sleep. Whatever, that is not going to stop me from snoozing off.

But then I notice something else quite peculiar.

Long hair.

That's strange, I think to myself, so I lift the blanket.

ACK!

The body underneath the blanket has a frame like my sister, behaves like my sister, breathes like my sister when she sleeps…

But she is not my sister at all!

Everything else is similar except for one small detail, but it is enough to set my heart pumping like mad. What the hell is this rom-com-ish situation? Excitement, yes, but there is also fear. Miura will absolutely murder me if she finds out about this!

And now I am fully awake.

I sit up straight. The ruffling I create startles Kotomi, and soon after she also starts wiping her eyes and stretching her limbs.

"Good morning, Onii-chan," she's slowly bringing her body up straight, making a big yawn in the process.

 _Good morning my ass. Explain yourself, right now._

"Hey, Kotomi, can I ask you a question?"

"Yes?" She says blankly, still recovering from her sleep.

"Onii-chan and whatnot, but I'm just a guy you met a month ago, how could you sleep with some guy you just barely know?"

Kotomi fixes a light sigh, then gazes at me with a beaming smile.

"You got one thing wrong, Onii-chan."

"What?"

"I don't 'barely know' you."

"What you know mean?"

Kotomi shuffles herself right next to the wall where she can lean her back on, then she continues:

"Remember the time when we first met?"

"Yeah?"

"When I pretended to be your sister and somehow I knew all the answers to your questions."

"I remember."

"How do you think I knew all that?"

"Komachi told you, right?"

"That's true. But you are probably thinking of a scene where we sat down in the living room and she started putting out all as much information as possible before you came, right?"

"Hmm… I guess that is how I would visualise it, too."

Kotomi shakes her head slightly.

"That never happened. I know them all way before I met you."

"…"

"You know what this means, right?"

I avoid her gaze.

"She talks about you all the time."

"Like complaining?"

"That too!" Kotomi laughs. "She talks about you so much, everything about you just kinda like, becomes ingrained my head. That's why I was able to answer you perfectly."

Kotomi looks at me with hazy eyes:

"Seeing your pictures and talking about you ever since we met, that is why, even though I just realistically met you for like a month, I feel like I have known you for a long time."

"Is that so?"

"In fact, the reason we became best friends in the first place is because I'm the only person who is willing to listen to her Onii-chan talks. With her who wants to talk about her brother and me who wants a to have a brother, we just kind of clicked, you know?"

"So you are a bro-con now?"

"Mah mah!" She makes a hearty smile.

"Since you are the only brother I've ever known, if someday I do have a brother, I would like him to be you, Onii-chan."

"Well, too bad 'cause I'm not really your brother."

"Actually, there is one way for you to become my brother officially, though," she makes a sly smile.

Kotomi reaches over and whispers in my ear:

"Marrying Yumi-nee, that is."

I pull back involuntarily. My heart almost jumps out of my chest.

"Not gonna happen. Plus, why would I listen to a request of a bro-con? Shoo, go away, you're gonna to infect Komachi with your bro-con-ness."

She just busts out laughing for a good while. Kotomi gestures her hand to herself, her face is mixed with amusement and bewilderment.

"Me?! Infecting Komachi? Onii-chan, I think you got it the other way-"

The door opens.

"Onii-chan, do you see Kotomi? I can't find her any-"

If you look from the outside into the room, and find a guy and a younger girl with loosely and messy clothing sitting closely on a bed, what would you think happened? Well, apparently, Komachi also arrives at the same conclusion.

Her footsteps echo loudly as she sprints away at top speed.

"ONII-CHAAAAaaannn!" her voice becomes lower and smaller, like a car passing you by at top speed.

"Oops," Kotomi says.

…

Night. Dining table.

"Are you two fighting again?" my mom says.

The diner atmosphere is tense, almost as tense as the time during that lunch. Both Komachi and I eat in silence, which is normal for me but for Komachi to stay silent, something must have gone really wrong. Plus, I'm sure she stole more fried chicken pieces on the plate.

"There is no fighting between us," I say.

"Why don't you ask Onii-chan?" her voice sounds so sullen.

My mom sighs.

"Look, I have been raising both of you since you were born, don't think you can hide that kind of stuff from me."

I take a sip of tea, then casually exclaim:

"It's just a misunderstanding, don't worry, mom. It will go away after a few minutes."

"Mo! Onii-chan, I know you're sad that you just got rejected, but to go after Kotomi like that… it's, it's just not okay, okay?!"

 _You idiot! What are you saying in front of mother like that?!_

"Kotomi? You mean the friend you brought from school yesterday?"

"Uhm!" Komachi nods her head determinedly.

"Hachi!"

My body flinches by instinct at my mother's stern voice.

"What did you do to Kotomi-chan?"

"Like I said. It was a misunderstanding, I didn't do anything."

"Ha-chi."

"It's like you said, you've known me for years. Does it look like I can do such a thing?"

My mom seems to be in thought as she closes her eyes for a few seconds.

"It doesn't seem like something you would do so..."

Thank you, mother.

"No way he totally did it with her!" Komachi shrieks.

 _Are we still doing phrasing?_

"Kotomi and I just had a chat in our room. Komachi just walked in and misunderstood the whole situation."

"As if!" Komachi says.

"Well, tell me then, did you see what we did in the room to make such a conclusion?"

"Well, it's… like... I was able to read between the lines!"

 _That is not how you are supposed to use the phrase, dumbass._

"Ok, enough," my mother interrupts. "Mo, of course, both of you have your own version of the story, so I don't know who to believe."

"But-"

"Shh." My mom shuts my sister down. "What about Kotomi-chan herself? What did she feel about this?"

"She… seemed fine, I guess," Komachi says with a defeated tone.

"Did she look hurt?"

"No, she was fine, happy actually." my sister mutters.

"Then I trust that Hachi wouldn't do anything overly inappropriate to Kotomi-chan."

 _Nice one, mom_. There is a reason why you are my mother after all.

"Mo! It's not like I'm upset because it was Kotomi or anything. I'm upset because you are being way too fickle, Onii-chan."

"Fickle?"

"You can't just try to get on with any girl you feel like at the moment, okay? You must at least pick a girl and stick with her till the end."

Oi oi, why are you saying like I'm some sort of playboy here?

"I'm just worried for you, ok? At this rate, you are going to die of old age alone without a, single, girlfriend," Komachi puts heavy emphasis on her last three words.

This little brat...

"Mah, that's not true, though," my mom says with a sage smile. "There's always Miyu-chan, you see!"

I spit out my tea, but a little of it still goes to my nose only to be violently purged out by the streak of my furious coughing while Komachi is shrieking as loud as possible.

"Mom, *cough* *cough*, how do you even know her?!"

"Yeah, how come do you know Onee-san?!"

"Of course I know her. You guys used to hang out together all the time."

"Ok, first, we didn't hang out 'all the time'. Second, that doesn't explain anything," I say.

"I mean, we came to her house to play and she came to our house to play all the time, right? That's how I knew her of course."

"What are you talking about? She's never been to our house."

"Mo, you're still a high school student. Don't tell me that your memory is already start slipping."

This is not right. Nothing my mother said adds up to what I know. Are we even talking about the same person? Wait a minute, are we actually talking about the same person?

"Mom, who is this 'Miyu-chan' you're talking about?"

"I mean Miyu-chan, your childhood friend of course."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…" my mom makes a few blinks.

"What." I can only manage to let out a flat reply.

"Don't tell me that you also don't remember your childhood friend?"

Of course I don't! I have been spending all my years training myself to block out past memories for Christ's sake! Well, I do remember that I had a childhood friend, but out of all the person, how could… wait, calm down, Hachiman. You are jumping into conclusion. Maybe her name was actually Miyu and she was someone else entirely different.

"Do you happen to have her pictures or anything?"

"Of course."

"Can I see it?!"

"I want to see it, too!" Komachi screeches.

"Finish your dinner first."

I glance at Komachi and both nods at each other's determined face, then we proceed to dig our bowl dried out of any single grain of rice in less than four minutes.

"Done," I slam the bowl on the table.

"Me, too," Komachi proceeds to do the same.

"Mo, you guys are really eager for this."

Of course I am, this is the time to recover my lost childhood friend.

"Just a minute," she casually gets up from her seat, somehow this ticks me off so much. Show some urgency, mom. Can you not read the atmosphere?

After a while, she comes back with an old-timey photo album. It doesn't look like it has been touched by human hands for years.

"Here," she gives me the book.

I gulp down my saliva. Komachi is already running to my side. Inside this album is the truth I need. Who is it gonna be?

And thus, I turn the pages.

"…"

"…"

This is not good.

Yes, I did have a childhood friend, I can see her in the pictures. The thing is, if the child in the pictures bears some resemblances to an older person, they can be confirmed to be one person; but if the child doesn't have any resemblance, that still doesn't prove anything. Your child self can look vastly different from your adult self, and I bet Miura is the type of girl who doesn't look like her young self at all. These pictures are useless.

But, there is one more clue.

"Mom."

"Hm?"

"Miyu-chan, that is not her real name, right?"

My mother gasp.

"You're right. I don't think that is her real name. You just liked to call her that so I just kinda copied you."

"Then! She didn't really call me Hachiman or Hikigaya, right?"

"Now that you said it. That's right, you guys sort of just called each other by nicknames only," my mom looks like she's reminiscing something.

"What did she call me?"

"Hm… I think it's Hikito, or Hikki, Hikuo…?"

"Hikio?!"

"Ah. That's the one!"

I stay silent. What in the world is going on here? I stare at the table made of light-coloured wood, scratches can be seen where my bowl usually sits on. It is an old table, we have it for ages, I wonder if it remembers its childhood friend.

"I'm going up to my room."

I stand up abruptly and walk straight upstairs without looking at anyone. As soon as the door in my room closes, my back falls on its wooden surface.

What. The. Fu-


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19: Loner Master Hikigaya**

What in the world?!

How? Why? My mind is bombarded questions like Gate of Babylon being unleashed upon my body. What is this super cliché development? Is this even real life, or is it just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality. Miura… is my childhood friend. Whoever god wrote this piece of crap, you are just being way too promiscuous now. Do you think just because Hayama and Yukinoshita were childhood friends, suddenly now Miura and I also had something going on when we were young? Don't be ridiculous.

The door vibrates on my back as I hear thumping coming from behind.

"Onii-chan! Open the door! What the hell is going on?"

With a sigh, I sluggishly get off the door and open it, only to reveal a painting young lass with eyes full of determination.

"I'm just gonna ask it straight! So is Onee-san actually your childhood friend or not?"

"I don't know," I blurt out.

So far, the only clue I have is the fact that she merely addressed me as Hikio, something that my mother believes to be the nickname that my childhood friend got for me. But, now that I start to think clearly, this is an absolutely vague clue with no concrete base. First, it can all just be a coincidence. Second, my mother might not remember it right and jumped into conclusion at my suggestion. There is no way to tell that what I deduced is not just a mere delusion.

"What are talking about?" Komachi says. "There is one sure fire way to figure it out for real, you know?"

"Like what?" I utter.

"Talk to her."

Oh.

Easy for you to say, despite the fact that it is, physically, absolutely simple. This is a technological age, simply give her a call or a text is enough. No way, a text is not enough. There is no way I'm going to put this major revelation on a text and suffer from the eternal pain of waiting. It must be at least a call. But what am I going to say to her? 'Hey are we childhood friends?' If it turns out to be false, I will look like some desperate lunatic that have finally lost any sense of dream or reality, so much that my embarrassment meter will overload and cracks opened and so is my life, shattered in pieces and hanging on a tight noose. Even if it is true, there is a chance that she doesn't remember herself. Actually, that chance is very likely. If she were to remember, wouldn't she have told me?

But, does it really matter?

Our relationship ended. It doesn't matter how I appear to her anymore. To be honest, it doesn't matter whether she is my childhood friend or not anymore. It's all over.

But, why did it end in the begin with?

It is because our relationship was built on a superficial base, a relationship that would eventually go nowhere. It was better to end it before it started to hurt me dearly.

But this is not.

If it is real, then so is the nature of my relationship with Miyu. It was a long time ago, it was almost forgotten, it shouldn't mean anything anymore after all this time. But it was real, a pure, unadulterated relationship, when we were still young and naïve, when we didn't have to put up any mask, when everything was still… what is the word that I'm going to use?

Ah…

That is why, I want to know.

"Here," out of nowhere, my sister reappears with my phone on her hand, almost like she just summons it out of thin air. How long have I been staying like this? "Go on, call her," she urges.

I take the phone, slowly skim my finger through the screen. The name Miura Yumiko stares straight at my face, with just another click, I will be having my first contact with her after that fated afternoon. Two seconds pass and my finger still refuses to move. My body is hot, I feel itches running through my back.

"Komachi, get out."

"You're not going to abandon ship, aren't you?"

"I won't, now get out."

"Fine, I'll leave you guys some alone time."

As my sister exits the door, I once again lean my back against the wooden surface, just to make sure that on one can enter. I'm sure that she's having her ears stuck onto the door, too, but I don't really care about that. I just don't want to see anyone at the moment.

Drawing in a deep breath, I wince my eyes and press my thumb down. When I reopen my eyes, the screen is already in dial mode. This is it, the point of no return. But what if she doesn't answer the phone. With our situation like this, it's very likely that she won't answer. What if she is just busy doing something else?

My heart jumps as I see the timer appear. I quickly put the phone to my ears.

"What?" on the other side is a familiar voice, cold as ice but strangely nostalgic.

"Hello," I utter.

"What do you want?" her tone is impatient.

"I uh, want to ask something?" my tone is all messed up.

"Like what?"

"It's just…" Come on, say it. It's not that hard. But what exactly do I have to say now?

"Hello?"

"Well…"

I hear a sigh.

"If you want to prank call me, I'm going to hang up."

"Wait!" my brain cells awake at her final words. "I really do have something important to talk with you, can we meet somewhere?!"

"Huh?"

"Let's meet somewhere and we can talk. The shrine, how about there?!"

"Huh? Like right now?"

"Yes, right now."

"But it's late."

"Please! It's very important!" I'm spouting off the first thing appear in my head. I have neither time or composure to think.

But after that, it's just silence. Silence for a few seconds feels like centuries, as if my life expectancy is being drained relentlessly.

I hear a sigh again.

"Fine. I'll get ready, will be there as soon as possible."

"Thanks a lot."

"See ya."

With a tiny beep, I let body slide on the wooden door. What the hell did I just do? I went into a trance then, not knowing what was the right decision. To top it off, how did I even pull it off? It amazes me that Miyu actually went along with that. But, what's done is done, the words were set, and I must get ready soon.

Shuffling around the room, I quickly put on my clothes and jacket and head to the door. As I open it, Komachi is still there, no surprise to me, and she doesn't seem to be bother hiding it or whatsoever.

"Good luck, Onii-chan," she calls.

"Yeah, thanks," I reply as I move past her.

"Make sure to tell me everything."

"Not a chance."

…

Saturday. Night. The shrine.

The night is shining. The will is chilling. One cannot underestimate the coldness of the early spring breeze. Resting my arms on the railing, I'm gazing at the open night at a hauntingly familiar place, the place where I made the confession. It's a full moon tonight, and the cloud has paved way for the orchestra of stars and the soprano of wind. Even the ground is an ocean of stars, window lights emitting off rows of blackened roofs, and street lights running through the field like a fiery net. Even though the air sears my skins, the view is indeed a nice trade off.

It's been fifteen minutes since I came here, and I'm still here by myself. I didn't try to text her, it's just too nerve-wracking for me to do so. I'm just waiting, I don't know what I expect. I want her to be here and not be here at the same time. I want to know, but at the same time, I'm petrified by the thought. Even if she decides not to come today, as least I still have a nice scenery to look at, so it is not all wasted.

I blow some cold air into the wind, imagine how cool I would look if I have a cigarette right now. What am I now, Hiratsuka-sensei? The lantern looks very warm, indeed. Is that a cat that I just saw, jumping from roofs to roofs? A black cat nonetheless, and it just jumped past me, does it means that I am now doomed with bad luck? Give me a break.

I feel the railing vibrate by a force that is not mine, but rather from another figure seemingly appear out of nowhere. I don't have to take a glance to know who it is, but regardless, I do it anyway, not because I want to know, but because I guess I want to see her.

Her golden hair flutters to the wind and shines faintly under the moonlight. Her fragrance is nostalgic, a bit stronger than usual. Did she just take a shower, I wonder? She leans against the railing, but doesn't look at me. Like me before, she is also being captivated by the scenery for a good while.

But then her gaze quickly catches mine, making me glance away by instinct. I look back, it's those fiery sharp eyes again.

"So?" she said. "What is the 'important business' you want to talk about?"

"Well…" I scratch the back of my head. Still unable to say it, I find myself keep staring at her.

"Well?" she crosses her arms under her chest.

I draw in a deep breath and finally say it. But for some reasons, she doesn't react.

"Huh? I can't hear, the wind is a bit loud."

Damn you wind! I draw in another deep breath and say it again.

"I still can't hear you," her tone becomes more impatient.

Goddammit! I can't for some reason speak a little bit louder. With no other choice, I get closer to her, so close that we now have full views of each other.

"Have we, met before?" I say.

"Huh?"

"Like, a long time ago."

She's looking at me with a blank expressing, but I can see her eyes slowly opening up. Then she turns away and fixes a sigh, her green irises peek at me from the corners of her eyes.

"So you remember now."

"So it's true? That we are, we used to be…"

"Childhood friend?"

I nod.

"Who knows?" with her arms still crossed under her chest, she looks away with her eyes closed. "I thought you must be the one who remembers it more than anyone else."

"Well-, I," I stutter, "I kind of remember but not very clearly."

"How terrible," she sulks.

"My bad," I mutter.

"Well, whatever. At least you remember it now," she turns around and leans her back against the railing.

"What about you? When did you remember it?" I ask.

"All this time."

With her sharp eyes, she speaks without any hesitation. My heart skips a beat at her words, but at the same time feeling a bit guilty.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Why should I?! You are the one who should remember it by yourself. Plus, I had my doubt, too. I was like, 'is that really Hikio? I don't remember him being this depressing and anti-social and have a dead fish eyes like that.'"

Kch, it's her usual fiery attitude all over again, but I would still happily take it over the lifeless, coal-like attitude she had during lunch.

"Well, so are you. I don't remember you having blonde hair and being the popular girl."

"You must at least remember my name," she puts her hands on her hip. "I remember yours, and yours are super hard to remember."

There is no way for me to come out on top now. No matter how you look at it, it is indeed my fault for not remembering my childhood friend's name.

"Miyu," I blurt out.

Her body jerks up a bit, a shade of pink flashes on her cheeks. She looks down and talks to the ground:

"That's just my nickname! I mean my full name."

I sigh.

"I guess it is my fault in the end. I'm sorry for forgetting you."

"Mah. It doesn't really matter, anyway."

"So we really are childhood friends?"

"Yeah."

"And we used to play together all the time."

"That's right."

"We used to play role plays like doctors, teachers, fairy tales…"

"Uh huh."

"Husband and wife!"

"What's your point?!" Miyu sulks, her cheeks are slightly reddened.

I flinch. Seeing her like that, blood also rushes to my face.

"I'm just, remembering things."

"Mo, do you have to say it out loud like that?" she plays with her golden locks.

She turns around and takes a look at the scenery again.

"Such a nice night."

"It really is."

The wind blows my hair as I run my fingers through it, cooling my burning hot head. The cold no longer bothers me, in fact, I can use a bit of a cool down here.

Miyu turns to me.

"Now that we're here, I have a question to ask you, too."

"What is it?"

Her sharp eyes stare at me for a while, almost like she is also hesitating.

"That confession, was it fake?"

My throats chokes. Unbelievable, she notices? But how?

Glancing away from her, I say.

"What makes you think so?"

"First, it just feels very out of character of you, I mean the current you, to do such a thing. Second, you kinda did the same thing on the field trip, too, to Ebina. They feel very similar."

"So you know my confession to Ebina was fake."

"Hayato kinda explained it to me, but that doesn't mean I agree with it!"

You don't have to say it to me, I already heard it a thousand times.

"Confession for real seems very out of character of you, and a fake confession seems like the stupid thing that you would do, and you did do it once. So it's not that hard to think that way, you know."

This girl really is very perceptive with things like this.

"So, was it fake?"

"Well…"

"Never mind, I know the answer now."

She looks back to the scenery. Her eyes suddenly become softer, almost melancholic.

"Is it because of Yukinoshita?

I keep silent, but I don't deny it, and that is enough for her to know.

"I don't really understand why, but it seems like you were trying to keep me away from her," Miura says.

It is a part of the reasons why I did it.

"Like you're trying to protect her from something."

She stares at me, an uncomfortable stare, an interrogating stare. My hand grips tightly on the railing, I can't help looking away.

"It is true?"

I fix a sigh.

"Yes."

She makes a sigh also.

"Well that clears things up." She mutters with her head down, eyes hidden behind her bang, and a light smile that looks almost bitter.

She pops back up and greets me with a light smile.

"Well then, I have some good news for you. My request is officially cancelled."

"Hm, really? I didn't think that you would give up that easily."

"I have no other choice, since you are so insisted with Yukinoshita. Beside…"

She brushes her hair off her flustered cheeks, with her hazy eyes, she says:

"I already found my own love."

Miura Yumiko, the Queen Bee, and my childhood friend. The Fire Queen has finally lived up true to her name. Her golden hair glimmers under the round bright moon, her warm smile is like a blessing that melts my heart and sets my body burning like mad, so painful yet so mesmerisingly addicting.

I stand there, unable to do anything, unable to say anything. What can I even say now?

"Hoh…"

Apparently, that's what I actually say.

"It's getting pretty chilly now, so I think we should get going."

"Yeah, I think so, too."

"Yeah," she smiles.

We take a silent walk down the hill. As we reach the intersection where we split, I finally manage to say:

"I'll take you home."

"It's fine. I can take it from here."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"Alright."

With a little wave and smile, she says:

"See you in class."

"Night."

…

Late night. Hachi's room.

I can't sleep.

Every time I close my eyes, the only image I can see is her. What is this feeling I'm experiencing? My heart is in pain every time I picture her under the moonlight. I tried to reject that feeling in the past. I believed that it was superficial, I convinced myself that it was superficial. But then there was this gutted feeling that was eating my conscience away, a feeling that I could not explain. How could I let myself fallen to this feeling when I so detested the nature of it? So I sealed it away, I pretended that it was not there.

But it is clear now, at least that's what I believe. Those feelings weren't all fake, they were actually deeply rooted a long time ago, a time when everything was still new and natural. It wasn't created from a façade, it was already lit up once, and we were just rekindling the fire far below of my consciousness.

And now, I can no longer deny my feelings for her anymore. It's true, everything is all true.

Maybe, just maybe, this can be the start of something new. Maybe my romantic comedy isn't as wrong as I expected.

I can't wait for Monday.

…

Monday. Morning. School.

Here I am, at my window seat, yawning out of boredom and sleepiness. There is still a bit of time before homeroom, and students are slowly dropping in, none of them I care one bit about. She still hasn't arrived yet, and I can't believe I'm getting this anxious over a person like this.

After a few minutes, with Tobe coming in, the whole Hayama clique is complete, but there is still no sign of her. What the hell?

Tobe sits down and looks at the Hayama with eager eyes:

"Yo, bruh, I heard about it!"

"It's not really a big deal," Hayama smile casually.

"So who asked first?"

"I did."

"Wicked, bruh. About time for you to do it!"

"Ha ha."

What the hell are they talking about?

But then she appears, those golden locks that cannot be mistaken for anyone else. I'm not even aware that my gaze is following her the whole time until she catches it, and to my surprise, greets me back a with a smile. Holy hell, isn't it just so pretty?

"Ah, Yumiko's here," Tobe barks, "great timing. Hayato, I don't want to steal your thunder, so you better do it now or I will say it myself!"

"What's up?" Some other guy asks.

"It really is no big deal," Hayama stands up next to her. "It's just that Yumiko and I…"

Have you ever heard something so loud that your hearing becomes muffled all the way around? A nauseating buzz rings in my ears, so much that I want to puke, and every thing seems so far away.

"We are officially a couple now."


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20: Re:Loner**

How long has it been? I don't know. What is the meaning of life? I don't know. Is there a purpose to our existence as human? Is there a purpose to my existence? I surely hope not. Are you saying that when a person is born, they are automatically assigned with a purpose to fulfill, a life mission that is tailored for them only? For some people, that seems to be a convenient thing to have, now that they don't have to deal with this existential bullshit; but what if the life mission assigned to you were to be as miserable as possible, then you just got yourself into the deep end. You won't be able to succeed at anything in life, except being absolutely miserable. So no thanks, I wouldn't want a pre-destined purpose in my existence, because I love my freedom. I don't have to be miserable, the only thing I have to do is to enjoy life as much as possible. Nothing means anything, because the final destination of every human ever in existence is death, complete void for eternity. It doesn't matter how you get there.

It doesn't matter when you get there…

But you know, I'm just enjoying my life right now, it's simply too much work and energy to get hung up on the little things. Sometimes you just gotta let go and relax man, and enjoy life for what it is. Like me, I have been enjoying this game on my Vita-chan since forever. It is a blast; this game is a blast. I enjoy it, very much, yeah, I'm loving it, nothing can ever compare.

*Beep.. beep.. beep.. beep.. beep…*

A sudden loud ring erects out of nowhere. I take a look around my room, the window curtain has already been penetrated by the faint light of the sky. What a piece of shit curtain.

*Beep.. beep.. beep.. beep.. beep…*

In a corner of my bed, I see a piece of thin rectangular object where the sound comes from. Ah, it's just my alarm sound. I guess I was a bit too engrossed with the game that I lost track of time. But regardless, it's morning now, and I gotta get ready for school.

*Beep.. beep.. beep.. beep.. beep…*

I slowly get up from my bed, rub my face, then stumble my way across the room to the washroom.

*Beep.. beep.. beep.. beep.. beep…*

…

I walk downstairs, ready for a fresh school day. Man, isn't education the best? I'm so excited to be blessed with this privilege. In the living room area, my sister is already sitting on the table to with two omurice plates.

"Onii-chan, breakfast," she calls.

"Not hungry," I mutter and walk straight to the front door, not even bother to look at her.

…

Sitting in class, listening to my teacher's lecture, I can't help but wonder if the teacher knows that the words that he is spewing out right now are just unadulterated horseshit. Listen to yourself, teach. I'm sure you know that everything you say will have zero application on any of challenges that we will have to face in the future. You are useless, teacher. Eleven years of education and your students still remains a bunch of rotten wankers who can't think for themselves or know what they want. This is what you get for setting false expectations.

What world have we become when schools feel like prisons? How can I ever escape this twisted chain of fate? What future do I have left? Being a corporate slave? Working 80 hours a week? Getting wasted on a train? I want to get off.

After school.

I go to my favorite spot in the school, where the wind blow feels like a long-time acquaintance, a deserted corner where nobody can find me. It's been a long day, and people is such a pain to deal with. In my hand is a warm can of MAX coffee. Although I already had a can for lunch, but my motto right now is enjoying life as much as possible, so who gives a shit.

I pop it open and chug it down and enjoy the spring breeze. The taste is so sickeningly sweet that it's almost sour. This MAX coffee tastes like shit. Even the one I had for lunch tasted like shit.

I chug it all down in minutes. I sit on the step completely still, trying to let the chunk of liquid dissolve inside my growling stomach. My face drops down low, trying to endure the pain, minutes pass when the growling finally starts to cool off. Maybe it's because I haven't eaten enough.

"I should get another can."

So I get up and walk back to the vending machine.

…

Evening. Home.

"Big trouble! Big trouble, Onii-chan!" Kotomi runs toward me along with Komachi. Her arms cling to me as she frantically spouts, "Why is Yumi-nee dating that Blondie-senpai?! I thought guys are childhood friend?! This doesn't make any sense!"

I shrug and slowly exclaim, "Life is full of surprises, you never know."

"Ehhh?! That's your response! But you guys are childhood friends. You have a history together!"

"That was a long time ago. Besides, you should give Hayama a chance, maybe you will come to like him."

"I did try to befriend with him. So I was telling him one of my jokes and he was like," she starts speaking with a condescending tone, "haha, Kotomi-chan, a girl like you shouldn't say something like that."

Kotomi pouts, "you are a much better Tsukkomi than him."

"He's right, you know."

"See?! You Are better."

I fix a smile and rub her head.

"Don't worry Kotomi, I already have a plan. Everything is going to be fine."

"Really? You are going to get Yumi-nee back."

"Sure."

"What is it? I will help you!"

"Me, too!" Komachi butts in.

"Actually, my plan depends on the fact that you have no idea about it so that your reactions will be more convincing. I kinda foil it a little bit by telling you that I have a plan in the first place, but seeing you so worry, I can't help but tell you this, but this is only this much I can tell you."

"I see. I will try my best."

"Just be yourself, and things will work out. Now, Onii-chan must go and work on the plan."

"Ah, ok… Good luck," Kotomi calls.

"Yeah," I utter and walks away.

I walk back to my room, lock the door, throw my school bag on the floor, slither onto my bed and grab hold of my beloved Vita-chan. This is it. This is the life I wanted. Plan? What are you talking about?

My body coils up at a sudden stinging sensation in my brain. It has been a bit numb since a few days ago, but it's really nothing to worry about.

It's nothing compared to the other pain I got.

"…"

A normal day for Hikigaya Hachiman.

…

*Beep.. beep.. beep.. beep.. beep…*

The faint skylight penetrates the curtain once again. Time flies when you are enjoying yourself, doesn't it? Somehow, everything feels so short, I just simply don't have enough time. If I had had more time, I could have done something about it, things could have been different.

What am I thinking? There is no use thinking about such trivial matters now. Just let it go.

A sigh blows out of my nose. I don't want to go to school. Schools are for posers. You gotta enjoy life at its fullest, man. I need some more time to finish this game.

*Beep.. beep.. beep.. beep.. beep…*

But if I don't go to school, some people is surely going to get annoyed, and that can become worse for me. No, I cannot let her take away the fun life I'm having right now. It's no big deal, go to school, sit there for a couple of hours, get some coffee, go home, back to enjoying life.

I walk downstairs and through the dusky, empty living room. It's only 6:30 at the moment. It's brilliant, now I don't have to see the people I don't want to see anymore.

…

Friday. Morning. School.

"Hikki, can I borrow your homework for a bit? I have a few questions that I got stuck, so it would be super if I could copy from you," Yuigahama says.

I stare at her for a while. My head is buzzing like a bee nest. "Ah… I, didn't do it."

"Eh? What do you mean you didn't do it?"

"I didn't do it," I mutter.

"But what if the teacher call you?"

"Then it's the end of me."

Yuigahama stares at me with a blank expression.

"It's not like I'm going to die or anything," I retort.

"Heh? What's with the delinquent act?"

"Whatever."

I stare out of the window. The sunlight is warm and comforting.

"Hikki."

I glance at her. Her eyes are soft as her eyebrows wince. "Are you ok?" she asks. "I kinda notice recently but you seem to be more pale than normal, and your eye circles…"

"This how I look all the time."

"I know, but it seems like you are much worse than usual."

"…"

"Did something happen?"

"Nothing happened."

"Something definitely happened! It's ok, Hikki, it's not good to bottle it up. I'll listen to you."

"I told you, nothing happened."

"There's no way nothing happened! Ah, you don't have to tell what exactly happen, just tell me how you feel is ok!"

"Nothing happened."

"Hikki!"

" _Don't You GET IT?! NOTHING Happened! Leave ME Alone!"_

 _My mind explodes. I stand up and scream, blood rushes to my head, feeling a bit nauseating. It's as if every cell of my body is shivering and screaming in agony._

"Hikki?"

My body jerks up. It's like waking up from a dream.

"You kinda fazed out for a moment there," Yuigahama mutters.

"You are right, Yuigahama," I say while rubbing my forehead.

"Huh?"

"I am feeling a little bit sick, so I'm going to the infirmary now."

"Wait, I'll go with you!"

"No. Class almost starts."

I swiftly get up from my seat and make way to the door, not leaving another chance for her to say another word. This is a great idea, now I don't have to stay in class anymore.

…

Afterschool.

I fall onto a wall, feeling out of breath. My head is tingling, my stomach is growling. I didn't run or do any heavy-duty work, but the only I thing have eaten is MAX Coffee. I had two cans just now and my body is breaking down. Home, I gotta go home, at home I can rest.

I stumble my way across the near empty schoolyard, eyes wandering around with no direction. But then I see it, and it makes my heart quails.

A couple of floors on an open stairway, I see the two figures that I dread the most: her, and Hayama. They were looking passionately at each other; his hand is caressing her cheek. She closes her eyes, and their bodies start reaching closer, and closer….

My body is shivering. I can feel the pain of my nails carving into the flesh of my palm. I feels sick, I want to vomit. This is it, this the final nail in the coffin. I can no longer deny it. I have lost her, I have lost her forever. The girl that I once knew is gone, the girl that I once loved has vanished.

"Heh."

I chuckle. What am I thinking? This is nothing out of the ordinary for me. Welcome to reality, Hachiman, no, more like welcome back to reality, the reality where the world doesn't wait for you, that you are nothing in special in the end, and my romantic comedy is wrong as I… expected…

Let's just go home.

I turn my head and walk away, but then I sm stopped by another figure. Her flaxen hair meshes with the amber sunlight, her eyes hints of sorrow, but she still tries to put up a smile.

"Senpai, do you have a moment?" she speaks in a sweet, yet solemn tone.

…

School Rooftop.

The door is locked, both of us are resting our backs against the wall. My gaze fixates on the ground. The chilly spring breeze blows through, none of us has spoken anything since. For some reasons, I feel scared looking at her. I feel like I'm going to have the wrong idea if I do.

"Haizz…" she signs. "It looks like both of us are rejects now, huh?"

I keep silent. What more to add to this conversation. This is pointless.

"We all tried our best here, but in end, it's all up to them. There is nothing we can do about it, can we?"

You tried you best, Isshiki, and you should be proud. But don't lump me with you, you are going to devalue yourself. I have never attempted to try.

"So, don't feel so sad," she rubs my back. "I'm sure things will work out sometimes. There are still a lot of opportunities, I'm sure we can find someone else, someone like…"

Ah, the stock rejection comforting lines. Sorry Isshiki, I know you mean wells, but I don't really need those delusional hopeful lines anymore. I have already learned my lesson, not once, but twice. I told myself the cruel reality after the first time, I told myself that I wouldn't fall for it anymore. I told myself not to expect, but here I am again. I should have listened to my old self, to the monster of logic Hachiman.

"You know… someone…"

Expectation only leads to disappointment. I kept telling myself that, yet I failed it at the most crucial moments, and it paid dearly.

"Senpai, I've been thinking…"

Never again. Never again.

"Even since I met you, I can see myself changing. I don't think I would made this far without your help. Even though it is a failure the in end, but I really appreciate it."

Never again. Never again.

"Since we are both rejects now and we understand each other's pain. I think… I think we should rely on each other more, don't you think?"

"I'm fine."

"Senpai!"

Isshiki tugs my sleeve. I sluggishly turn my head toward her. Her hazy eyes gaze at me along with her solemn, tearful smile.

"Let's go out together."

Her words slowly sip into my brain. What does she mean by that? My head is buzzing right now, feeling like I'm being poked by a thousand needles through my skull. Go where? Does she want to eat something? Can it be that is she...?

 _Never again._

"Heh."

I make a chuckle. "That's a good joke."

She sends me a blank stare. I was almost certain that she was going to make another one of her rejection routines. But what am I seeing at the moment? There is no voice, there is no laugh, nothing but the expression of horror in her eyes. Whatever. It doesn't matter anyway. There is nothing more to say, so my gaze slowly slips back to the ground.

One step, two steps. I can see her shoes in front of me. Both of her hands wrap around my neck and lift my face.

"…"

I feel it instantly, soft flesh caressing my own lips. Her face is so close to me, so very close. Her eyes shut tight, a drop of tear is squeezed out of her eyelash. It runs across her blushed cheek and finds its way into my mouth, a salty and bitter taste.

Our lips slowly part, allow me to feel her breath on my chin. Her teary eyes fixate on me. It is so similar to that time, on a windy evening just like this.

"It's not a joke," she says.

Something breaks inside of me. My body starts twitching. Every single memory is pouring back. Calm down, Hachiman, this is nothing. I clench my fist as hard I as can, I grind my teeth as hard as possible.

Miura…

My face convulses, my eyes are shut tight. But the tear is coming like a tsunami, there is no dam that can hold it.

Miyu…

"Khc!"

My body is as stiff as a rock. I make several abrupt hiccups, each time accompanied by a bit of tear. I can't stop now. I can no longer repress it.

"Iroha!"

I fall onto her, bury my eyes in her shoulder. I hug her tightly. Her body is so soft and warm, her heart is beating just as fast as mine. She caresses my back as I'm bawling my eyes out. I'm so pathetic.

"It's ok, Senpai," she sobs.

I'm crying on her left shoulder, in a deserted corner where we kissed. I learn how it feels to have my heart broken once again. The chilly spring breeze blows through, like a piano of complete dissonance.

"I'm sorry, Senpai," she whispers, "I'm truly sorry."

…

…

…

"Wake up, Senpai."

I open my eyes. How long has it been for me to do such a simple action? The first thing I can feel is a hard surface of a table and the way my body is cramping up after sitting for so long. The first sight I see is a cheerful face of a certain devious junior. Resting on her arm, her head lays flat on the table just like mine.

"Good evening, Senpai~" She greets me with a smile.

I wipe my eyes and sluggishly sit back up. My head is still ringing but it feels awfully refreshing. I'm in what appears to be student council room. It's dead silent, there is no sound except for the buzzing of the heater and the pattering of pouring rain under an already pitch black sky. On the table is the two haft-drunk cups of tea.

"What is happening?" I yawn, only to realise that I have something blanketed over me: a pink cardigan.

"I wanted to let you sleep till whenever you like, but school has to close I can't really do that."

"Sorry," I mutter, not knowing what else to say.

"Let's go, shall we? Or do you want to rest a bit longer?"

"No, let's go. What time is it by the way?"

"It pasts 9 already."

"Okay."

I stand up, take the pink cardigan and give it to Isshiki,

"Thank you, Senpai," she smiles.

"I'm the one who should say it."

"What is that? Are you hitting on me?" she giggles.

"As if," I can't help but make a slight chuckle back at her.

She takes the cardigan puts it back on.

"Hm, it has some of you smell on it, Senpai."

My heart stings a little.

"Are you stupid?"

I look outside of the window. It is still pouring rain.

"Do you have an umbrella?"

"I only have one, but I have a few school umbrellas as spare."

She looks through a closet in the room and pulls out a black umbrella.

"Ta da!"

As we walk to the front door, Isshiki takes out her umbrella and give the black umbrella to me. As I'm about to open it, she stops me:

"We can share one. Two umbrellas are just too clunky."

And now, here we are, walking under the pouring rain. The sky is pure black. The air is undoubtedly chilly. The roads are glistening from the visible light rays of the street poles, the beaming shop signs, and the flashing car head lights. There is the sound of cars, there is the sound of the footsteps, and the sound of music from an array of electronic shops, but they all seem to be muted by the sound of the rain, and that is what makes it strangely silent.

"Senpai."

I glance at her.

"By the way, do you still remember what happened in my… in our conversation just before?"

Conversation? Ah, you mean that conversation where Isshiki seemed to… I think… I don't know… I'm not too sure about that.

"Senpai."

"I, roughly remembered that you asked me out. But with my current state, I honestly don't know if that was just my dreaming or not?"

After that, it's just silent. Isshiki fixes her stare at the ground for a while.

"It was a dream," she mutters.

"It makes sense then."

Isshiki pinches me on my side, which makes me flinch a little.

"Baka Senpai."

She looks at me as her gaze turns sharp.

"There is no way I'm letting you pass it off as a dream. Now, what is your answer, Senpai?"

"Well…"

I glance away from her. What do I actually feel about her? I can't think straight; my head is still buzzing.

"I don't think… that I'm ready for that kind of thing… yet, with my current state. My mind is still a mess right now."

"I see," her voice sounds defeated. "I kinda figure that you would say it, though. I don't why I decided to go through with it."

"I'm sorry," I mutter.

"Another question? Do you like me, Senpai?"

For Christ's sake, Isshiki. Aren't you a bit too straightforward today?

"I… like you."

She makes a heartful smile. I would be lying if I said that smile wasn't the cutest thing ever.

"That's good enough for me. So are you saying, if I asked at a different time, you would say yes?"

"Probably."

"Yay! Well, my proposal is still open, so whenever you are ready, I'll be there."

Iroha.

"Ah, this is where we split."

"Here," I pass her umbrella to her.

"It's okay, Senpai. You can have it. It's something from me," she smiles.

She reaches closer to me and lands a kiss on my cheek. Her soft touch went away like a flash, and the only I have left is a burning wet sensation.

"Is it not okay, Senpai?" she bashes her eyelashes.

"Uh… no."

She giggles, "since I already confessed, I no longer need to hold back anymore."

She pops open the other umbrella, while I'm still rooted to the ground. With her back against me, Isshiki glances over for her last goodbye:

"But you gotta hurry, too. It's not like I'm going to wait for you forever."

I watch her walk away, slowly disappearing into the rain. I feel like I should have done something different. I know that I already paid so much for my hesitation. I know I should seize the chance when I have it. Something inside me is screaming, telling me to run to and hug that body tightly, to feel her warm, her soft touch again.

But here I am, standing in the rain.

I'm pathetic.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21: My childhood friend can't be this warm.**

It's been a while. They say time can heal all wounds, that may be true, but it will always leave a scar and like time itself, a scar is eternal, and you will have to carry it into the grave. Are you happy living with a scar? After a while, the scar becomes insignificant, and you continue to live your life, completely forget about its existence and nobody around you will ever be bothered by its sight. Everything seems alright. But occasionally, you take a look at the mirror trying to get ready for a new day, and you notice that the scar is still there, unchanged even after ten years…

I suggest adding a second phrase to the proverb. "Time can heal all wounds, but it will leave a scar forever," coined by Hikigaya Hachiman.

I guess I'm getting better now. I have managed to sleep a bit more often, but there were still nights that left me wide awake. I kept telling myself that it would be over, as I already went through a situation very similar to this once. If anything, it will be just like last time.

"Beep.. beep.. Beep.. beep.."

Another long night for me. There's nothing I could do about it, my body wanted to sleep but my mind just didn't give in. I had nothing else to do other than killing time on my Vita-chan.

I grab my phone and turn the alarm off then throw it back on the bed. It's going to be a rough school day for me. To be honest, every day is rough at the moment, but today is especially rough since it's the sports festival day.

As you can see, my body is in no condition to be physically active.

...

Saturday. Morning. School.

It's getting hot already, and we just in the middle of spring. I wonder if this has anything to do with climate change? Regardless, I along with other students have to spend the day under the sun, and the heat is viciously slaying everything it touches. Not to mention that my event is near the end, so it's not like I can leave early. Just spending time watching other students busting their asses off is enough to get me tired. At this point, I'm just looking forward to finishing the event, winning or losing doesn't matter.

In case if you are wondering, I was assigned to take part in a tag race as a finisher.

...

It's time.

I jog to the starting line where I will finish the race, but just I am feeling a bit relieved, I turn to my right.

"Goodluck, Hikitani-kun," Hayama with his signature friendly smile.

Like an ironic twist of fate, the one opponent that I have to race against is him.

"Same back at ya," I say. Somehow, my voice is completely void of any emotion.

I'm just looking forward to finishing the race, god why wouldn't you heed my simple request?

On the sideline, I see the girls standing together, waving cheerfully.

"Best of luck! Hikki!" Yuigahama howls.

"Make sure to win! Hayato!" Miura calls.

Ah man, the wound is leaking again.

Start!

One after another, my classmates frantically rush to our destination. It looks like my team is actually doing better than Hayama's. This is good, maybe I can stand a chance to win this.

The second last runners are already in motion, and like a miracle, my team is leading while Hayama's is at third. My teammate is pulling closer and closer, his hand is already reaching out towards me!

I got it first!

I snap the baton out of my teammate and start sprinting. Almost instantly, I can feel my body screaming in agony. I bite my teeth and take it all in. It's alright, I'm in the lead.

But in the end, it is nothing but a hopeless dream. Hayama is approaching fast, getting closer and closer, and like the most natural thing to do, he passes me with little difficulty. Ah, I guess it is fruitless after all.

"Go! Hayato! Go!" Miura's excited voice echoes in my head.

"..."

In the end, it doesn't matter, it's just a stupid race.

But.

 _Am I going to lose again?_

The last time when we raced together, I lost. I didn't really mind since it wasn't my objective.

 _Am I going to lose again?_

Not just the race, I can't care less the about the race. It is something else that I lost to him.

 _Can't I even win, even just once?_

It's a stupid race, it's almost insignificant, but I can't bear the feeling of losing to him again like this.

"Kch!"

I grind my teeth. Out of nowhere, my blood is boiling like mad. My body is breaking down, I know that, but my mind is overloading. Gather every few oxygen molecule left in my breath, I start speeding up. My legs are screaming, I don't care. My lungs feel like they are going to burst, I don't care. The finish line is the only thing in my mind right now. I keep running, faster, harder! The pain is excruciating, I hate it! I channel all of my hate to the figure in front of me, I want to tear his body and drink his blood. The more pain I feel, the more hate I gather, the harder I run. Keep running! My mortal body can no longer keep up with my spirit. Keep running! I reach even closer to him and the finish line. Keep running! We are neck and neck. Keep running…

My vision becomes blurry and I can feel dirt on my face. I know for a fact that my body has stopped moving. There nothing in my view except for the cruel sunlight. Voices echo in my ears, they all sounds so distant. Shadows form around my peripheral.

"Hikki!"

"Out of my way!"

A fiery voice rings through. Who is that? I feel that it is someone important. Oh god, everything is slowly turning dark, but in a split second before complete blackness, I catch a glimpse of something golden and a familiar poppy fragrance.

…

…

…

I open my eyes, only to find myself in a strange environment; white paint, and a frozen ceiling fan. My head is buzzing, prompting me to rub it a bit. I make a faint moan as I look around. White bed, this must be the infirmary. What happened? Ah, I fainted, and probably lost the race. Sunlight is weak and coats the room with an amber colour, it's already dusk. How long have I been sleeping? If someone tells me that I have been sleeping for seven days, I would probably believe them.

I stare back to the dull ceiling, feeling my own breathing in almost dead silent. I lost again, as if it was destined to be. I know that it would probably mean nothing, I know that it was just my sudden moment of rashness; but I can't shake this heavy feeling away.

My phone vibrates. I pull it out and take a look. There are three unread messages:

Komachi: [Onii-chan are u ok?! Message me immediately when you wake up!]

Isshiki: [So sorry Senpai! I wanted to visit u but they pushed all the student council works to me! I hope you get well soon!]

The final message, just looking at it makes my heart cringe.

Miyu: [Baka. What were u thinking?]

I've been thinking about a lot of things lately.

[About what?]

Miyu: [About the race. Why did u do that?]

Why did I do that? Why don't you ask that question yourself?

[I don't know]

Miyu: [Seriously?!]

[I guess I really wanted to win]

Miyu: [R u stupid? Its just a sports festival. U don't have to risk your life for that!]

What is my life anyway?

I put the phone down, no longer feel like talking, much less talking to her. But before long, I feel a buzz in my hand again.

Miyu: [Anyway, how r u feeling now?]

Hesitating for a while, I text her. [Still in a lot of pain]

[Good grief. I thought u r smart or something.]

[I was in the heat of the moment]

[Take your time to rest, ok? Don't rush things. Also, make sure to eat a lot too, ok? Don't skip out]

Suddenly, I hear a voice outside of the door, sounds like like Yuigahama.

"Yumiko? What are you doing here?"

"Eh! I'm just, waiting for you. I kinda.. figured that you might come here."

"What's up?"

"Nothing. Just want to walk home with you. Besides, what is _she_ doing here?" her voice turns sharp.

"Is it not alright for me to visit one of my club members when he is sick?" a soothing voice turns up.

"Mah mah, let's not stand here fighting. Let's go inside."

I hear the door slide open and the sounds multiple footsteps rumbling about.

"Hikki," Yuigahama calls.

I keep silent.

The curtain blocking my view moves a little, reveals an eye peeking through before being pulled over all the way. In front of me are three figures, Yuigahama and Yukinoshita at the front, and Miura in the back, seemingly looking elsewhere.

"How are you feeling?" Yuigahama says.

"I'll survive."

"What's going on? You seemed really weak today. Did something happen?"

"I just, didn't sleep yesterday."

"Heeh?" Yuigahama mutter.

"Are you out of your mind?" Yukinoshita laments. "You realised that today is sports festival day, right?"

"I guess I lost track of time somehow."

Yukinoshita sighs.

"But everything is going to be ok, right?"

"I was just not having enough sleep. It's not like I'm catching a disease or anything. I will probably get out of here soon."

"Don't stress yourself, ok. Stay as long as you feel like," Yuigahama says.

"I get it."

"You should watch your diet, too," Yukinoshita says. "Make sure to eat more, especially grains, wheat, tuna, and yogurt. A good intake of water helps as well."

"I get it."

"Yui, hurry up," Miura calls. "Let's get going."

Yukinoshita turns to Miura. She speaks to her with an ice-cold tone:

"If you want to leave, feel free to leave by yourself."

"You-"

Her voice is cut off but her glare is firing straight at the brunette. Miura looks away, eyes full of discontent.

"It's ok!" Yuigahama awkwardly intervenes. "It's not like we have anything else to say."

She then turns to me: "If that's ok with you that is."

"It would be great."

"Mo, Hikki. You're such a buzzkill. Well then, hope you get well soon. See ya."

"Best of luck," Yukinoshita says.

They start moving. It might just be my imagination, but for a split second at her eye corners, I see those green irises. As she walks away, I can see her carrying a white plastic bag.

The door shuts again, and the room returns to complete silence. I sigh through my nose and stare back up to the bleak ceiling. I guess I will just have to get used to this again. The way she talks, the way she acts, everything is practically the same as just months ago. Why do I have this feeling? Even though I ask the question, I already know the answer. When a beggar stays a beggar, he will not feel anything. But when a beggar wins the lottery, but then bankrupts himself after three months and backs to be a beggar, he would probably feel a lot more pain and regret.

Suddenly I hear the sound of the door shutting again. I sluggishly turn my head, and cannot believe my eyes.

Her golden locks mesh with the warm light of dusk. She stands there with her back against the door, her sheepish eyes avoid my stare. Seeing that, I also look back up to the ceiling.

The sound of halting footsteps echoes in the room. Feet by feet, I feel her presence getting closer and closer.

"Baka," her scold is light compared to the usual.

"What do you want?" I utter.

"Just saying like how it is. Are you not?" she runs her fingers through her golden locks.

"I guess I am."

"Anyway. You were running really hard that time. If you hadn't fainted, you could have been in second place."

Still second place, huh? So all of my efforts were naught after all.

"I mean, actually it was pretty close, so who knows what could have happened."

"Is that so?"

"Besides, you didn't sleep but you tried your hardest. I didn't know that you have that kind of spirit in you."

"I just wanted to win."

"Why so?"

Her words catch me off guard. I look away, not saying a word. Not that I don't know the answer, I just don't want to answer it, I don't even want to form a mental answer inside my head.

"You knew you were racing against Hayato, right?"

I know.

"He was most likely going to win anyway…"

He was most likely going to win.

"… so you don't have to try that hard."

I don't have to try that hard.

"It doesn't really matter that much, since it's just a sport festival, you know."

It doesn't matter. Huh? Are we still talking about the race? My chest aches at every sentence you say, your warmth is like a drug that I can no longer have. I can't believe I'm saying this, but, I just want you to go away.

"Here," she puts the plastic bag on the bed stand. "It's chicken soup. Since you finally remember me, I thought that I should take more care of you now."

Please don't do that.

She frowns, "What? Not even a thank you or anything?"

"Ah," I snap, "sorry, and thank you."

She looks away, cheeks slightly blushed, "It's not a big deal or anything."

Please just stop. I no longer want to see that side of yours.

"Well, if you don't have anything else to say, I will be going now."

"See ya."

"Eat the soup," she says. "It's getting cold."

"I will."

"I mean, like right now," her voice is demanding.

"All right, I got it." It's scaring how much of a mother she can be.

I peel away the plastic bag to reveal a plastic container and a plastic spoon, pop the lid open and take a sip.

"How is it?"

"It's nice," I say.

"That's good to hear. Don't push yourself, ok? I will be going now."

"See ya."

"Bye bye," she makes a soft wave before heading to the door.

*Slam*

I take another sip.

The soup was barely warm.

…

Night. Hikigaya Residence.

I guess I should be spending more time in the living room, shutting myself in the room might not be the best way to forget things. But alas, even that little wish of mine is also smudged on, as if God himself just decide to put me on Hardcore Mode or something. Here I am trying to watch some television, there is me, and Komachi, and the single most troublesome person for me to see at the moment.

"I'm having a stay over with Komachi," Kotomi said.

"That's too much stay over," I said.

"Yah, it's just that I have more fights with Yumi-nee lately," that's what she said.

Great. Now she is pushing her sister onto me as well. What am I, some sort of babysitter? Whatever, just don't bother me and I will be fine.

But like I said before, Hardcore Mode.

"Ah, Komachi, do you also have photos Onii-chan and Yumi-nee when they were young?

"Yeah?" Komachi says.

"Can I see it?!"

"Ok, just a moment," Komachi then runs off.

All right, that's it! I'm going up to my room.

"Eeh? Onii-chan, where are you going?"

"To my room."

"Why?"

"Why don't you ask yourself that, Kotomi?" Without looking back at her, I walk straight up the stairs.

Slamming the door shut, I plummet into the bed. Seriously, what were she thinking? She clearly believes that I am in love with her sister, then why on Earth does she think that it's a good idea to look at pictures of the girl that broke my heart in pieces in front of me? Aren't you guys supposed to be more sensitive to that kind of thing?

"Uuuh…"

I moan and rub my forehead. Let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go. God, tell me, how much time do I have to serve for this? How much time before I can finally be free again?

Lying on the bed staring straight at the ceiling is the only thing I have been doing, trying to fill my mind with complete void and darkness, trying to forget, trying to rebuild the armour that has been broken by her. No, more like it was broken by me for her, but in the end, there was only me around, naked and exposed like a fool.

Suddenly the sound of repeating door knocks snaps me out of my consciousness. It must be them again.

"Onii-chan. Open the door. It's really important!"

If you're still going to cry wolf like that you know what will happen eventually, right? But regardless, I cannot take chances with those two. As I sluggishly open the door, I was slightly taken aback by their dead serious expressions.

"So I checked the photo album, and as I thought, you guys also have exactly the same photos that we have, except for one. For some reason, this is the photo that only you have."

Kotomi lifts up the photo album to my eyeshot, and my heart comes to a stop.

It's a photo of a young me and a girl who I know for sure is Miura. I recognise that place anywhere, it's the shrine we used to visit. On the windy hillside looking out to the sunset, we kissed.

I…

I walk past the girls and head straight to the washroom, open the valves and wash my face furiously with blistering cold water. I'm not dreaming, at least that is confirmed, but I'm just actually trying to calm the heat inside my body. My fingers slide slowly across my face and remain on my lips. I take a look at the mirror, and looking back at me is a pale high school boy with very prominent eye circles, on his face is an absolutely stupid half-ass smirk.

"Heh…"

 _I got it first!_

"Heh heh…"

That's pathetic. I'm so pathetic. I know that it might not mean anything. It was nothing but a young, naive innocent kiss, a kiss that happened only because we were curious. I might not have been a real kiss. We might have a history together, but that was all it was, a history. But why can I not shake this smirk off my face?

 _I got it first. Miyu's first kiss… is mine!_

"Onii-chan," A faint call catches my attention. My sisters have somehow invaded the washroom.

"I'm not asking you to get back with Yumi-nee or anything, but don't you find that it's very suspicious that of all of this time of staying just friends, Blondie-senpai would just ask her out like that?

The reason that Hayama didn't date Miyu in the first place was because he didn't want to tarnish the status quo, and he wanted someone to keeps other girls from him, at least, that was that I concluded. From the very start he didn't seem to show any romantic interest in Miyu, so why did he, no, more importantly, why now? What about Yukinoshita, where did he put her in this decision? Is everything I have speculated about them are actually wrong?

"It's not a get back with Yumi-nee request, but my request is that I want you to get to the bottom of this, please Onii-chan."

"I…"

I stare at the sterile wall inside the washroom, trying to find a word to say. Both of my sisters are still standing there, eagerly waiting.

"I need to go to sleep."

"Onii-chan!"

Feeling slightly guilty at their disheartened cries, but I can't do it. I need time to be alone.

Closing the door, I throw myself on the bed again. In my vision is pitch darkness, around me is just calm silent. I take a big breath, and slowly sigh out of my nose.

What is this? What are you trying to do, God? You gave me what seemed to be like tiny hopes, only to took it away and leave me broken, not once, but twice. Now, I was presented with another slimmer of hope, and even though I told myself that I won't be fooled again, now with it staring at me, I continue to find myself hesitating.

It was not once, but twice. Either god was a dirty, heartless prankster; or it was me who failed to seize the chance.

"..."

Was it… my fault?

No.

It was my fault, but not because I failed to seize the chance. There was no hope in the first place. My failure was thinking that they were, I convinced myself that they were hopes, only to eventually grasped at thin air.

"Never again." Those were the words that I gave myself.

"They said you missed 100% the shot you don't take, right?"

Her voice rings in my head. Those are the words that she gave me, words from our very first date after a long time. Miyu is that type of girl, the type of girl who lives in the moment and always looks forward, the type of girl who will go out of her ways to find her own love, even at her own risks. And yet, here I am, questioning myself, kicking myself, trying to convince myself that it was just the cruel hand of God. How can there be hope for me if I'm already not worthy in the first place?

Even if the hope is false…

Even if the hope is nothing but my imagination.

But, like Kotomi-said, I still need to know.

Even if I will be heart broken again…

It's ok, I already experienced it two times, I can handle it.

I still want to know.

…

Morning. Hikigaya Residence.

The sun is just barely looming at the horizon, but I'm already wide awake after a seemingly instant 10-hour sleep. I go to the bathroom and take a quick shower, rinse my hair with shampoo and cleanse my body with body wash, dry myself with a towel, and start putting on my uniform. The eye circles have become fainter, and my skin has regained its softness and vitality. I feel the cold, slimy texture of gel on my hand and run my fingers through my hair. It has grown long so I can no longer work the same style, but this should work. I scrape my nails under the running warm water, shave off the patchy facial hair. The glasses that was given by her, I gently slide them in between my ears. Even just by a little bit, but my vision has become clearer.

"And with the glasses, Onii-chan's Charm has reached maximum level," Kotomi menacing voices appears out of nowhere.

"Yay! MAX Charm Onii-chan is back!" Komachi shrieks.

"Don't be stupid."

"So you will get to the bottom of it?"

I draw in a big breath and let it out slowly.

"I will."

* * *

 **Extras**

Evening. Miura Residence.

Yumiko threw herself on the sofa, it had been a long day for her. So many things were going on, and now that she was already a third year, she didn't even dare to think what would be waiting for her ahead. There was going to be a lot of changes, and she was in no shape to be ready for it. What was she going to do now? She had no idea.

Feeling burdened by her own thoughts, she turned on the TV to relieve herself for a while, that was, until a certain devious sister came into her view. The little girl hopped her way through the living room with a mischievous smile on her face, while Yumiko pretended to ignore her existence. It was for the best. This couldn't be good, that face couldn't mean anything but trouble. Living under the same roof for years with that little devil has taught her that.

Kotomi plopped on the same sofa where Yumiko was sitting and looked at her elder sister with eager eyes. The little sister seemed to catch on the fact that she was just pretending. At that moment, Yumiko couldn't help taking a glance at her.

"Yumi-nee, I just found out something very interesting!"

"What is it?" Yumiko spoke coldly.

Kotomi pulled a photo from behind her back and put it in Yumiko's eyeshot, accompanied by a childish "Ta da!"

In a millionth of a second, she instantly recognised the photo, and her face turns bright red.

"GIVE ME THAT!" she screamed.

Like a flash, she lunged over Kotomi, but the little sister was even faster. She put the photos behind her back and laid flat on the sofa, while Miura was desperately trying to peel her off.

"How did you find it?!" Yumiko shrieked.

But the only reply she got was the hysterical laughter from Kotomi. She was bawling her eyes out, not sure by the Yumiko's reaction or by her tickle, maybe a little bit of both.

"You goddamn BRAT! I told you not to come into my room without my permission!"

Suddenly, Kotomi laughter stopped.

"Eh? I didn't go into your room."

"Huh?!"

"I got it from Onii-chan."

Now it was Yumiko's turn to freeze up. She makes a flimsy squeak as she pulled back and sat promptly on the sofa. Her cheeks became even redder and her eyes could barely look at her sister.

"Is- is that so?!"

"Heh?" Then, Kotomi's eyes opened wide. She sat back up and started crawling toward Yumiko. "Wait! Don't tell me- Eek!"

Yumiko extended her hand and pushed Kotomi's face away from her. She stood up, arms folded in front of her.

"That stupid, perverted creep! What was he thinking?! Giving you that photo!"

"He didn't give me the photo, though. Actually, he is really sick lately."

Yumiko flinched. She pulled closer to Kotomi and grab her shoulders.

"What?! How sick? What kind is it?"

But there was no response aside from Kotomi's soul-piercing, cat-like smirk. At that moment, Yumiko knew she had been bamboozled.

"You… BRAT!"

"You know, if you want to know that bad, you can just go and visit him."

She stood up again and flicked her golden locks

"Hm! I'm going up to my room!"

"Yumi-nee~" Kotomi made a pouty call.

"Not listening."

But just after a few steps up the stairs. She turned to Kotomi again, with her cheeks still red, she called:

"Also, stop calling him Onii-chan! Good grief!"

* * *

 _ **WOO! Sorry for the long break. I have been caught up with some mind blowing things lately, that and juggling between school and work. But I promise that I will be back with regular updates from now on (1 week to 2 per chapter, that is, if there are still people reading this fic, lol)**_


	22. Chapter 22

**Hey, do you know what time is it?! It's time to update my "Signs that you are famous!" checklist!**

 **1/ Have internet strangers tell me to kill myself. - Checked.**

 **2/ Have millions of followers.**

 **3/ Make millions of dollars.**

 **4/ Live in a mansion.**

 **Still a way to go, but hey, baby steps! Thank you for all of your supports, all kind of supports, that is.**

 **This is probably the most difficult chapter for me to write. I literally stared at the screen for three hours to write two lines. Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 22: Kimi no Nawa**

"Ooh hoo hoo hoo hoo!"

In front of me is a rather peculiar person for me to talk to: Ebina Hina. I wonder how many times I have ever talked to her?

"Megane (glasses) Hikitani-kun!" her eyes are filled with glee. "I was wondering why you got rid of that look after last year. So glad to see it back."

I do nothing except shooting at her a mildly annoyed look.

"What do you want?" I utter.

"Ya, it's just that I'm experiencing a writer's block recently, I just thought that looking at you would give me some inspiration, ya know."

You know, it would be even greater if you don't use me for your inspiration at all, I already know what kind of things you are going to put me in.

"Yeah, totally!" on my side, Yuigahama cheers. "Honestly, Hikki, you were looking pretty rough these past weeks, it's kinda nice to see you clean up again."

I look away, feeling a little bit abashed.

"Uhm, well I guess."

I turn my body sideway and lean against the window and feel the warm sunlight caressing my neck. Just one row below me, I catch something that pinches my heart a bit.

She was definitely looking at me. It looks as if she was pulled to our little commotion and stared at us unknowingly. Upon me catching her, she flinches a little and glances away.

Don't play with my heart like that. At this moment, I am too afraid to try to interpret its meaning. It scares me to realise how little I know about human. Any motion, any gesture, any expression can mean absolutely anything, and I have never felt more lost.

But that is why I am here.

I'm tired of taking shots in the dark, it's time for me to find out.

Before long, I feel a vibration inside my pocket.

Isshiki: [Senpai, just a reminder but make sure to come to the student council room after school, ok?] the screen reads.

I make a sigh before putting down my phone again. Here it goes.

Afterschool.

I open the door to the student council room and see the familiar foxy face of my underclassman, but that is not all.

"Oh, Hikitani-kun, you are here too?" On the other side of the room is the pretty blonde face Hayama with a mildly surprised look."

"Same back at you," I reply with a flat tone. Unlike him, his appearance doesn't surprise me at all.

…

…

"All done! Thank you so much for your help, Senpai and Hayama Senpai!"

"Glad I could help," Hayama smiles.

"No problem," I say.

"All right, you two can go home now."

"Well then, we will be going. It's great working with you guys," Hayama says.

"Thank you for your hard work," one of the members of the student council says.

"See you later," Hayama continues to give the student council a couple courteous greetings, while I just simply make a nod.

We share the same walk to the train station, because of the differences in our schedule, he and I almost never walk home together. Well, "together" is a bit of an exaggeration, as I'm just silently walking three metres behind him.

The sun is burning red at the city's skyline. The path we take is on a riverside, where the wind is weeping ever so gently as a certain literature girl might have described it.

You think that it's just a coincidence, but it has never been. That meeting with Isshiki was all planned, it all led to this moment right here.

"Hayama," I stop walking.

He also stops, the lack of sound pulls him off a little bit.

"What is it, Hikitani-kun?" he makes a contemplating smile, a very unusual smile for someone like Hayama to be making.

"I have a confession to make."

Closing my eyes, I draw in a big breath.

"Lately, I have been having a lot of doubts… again. I don't know what to believe anymore."

"Ho?"

"Everything that I know, or I think I know, can all turn out to be just lies. I'm tired of making any more assumptions."

"If you have anything on your mind, just say it. I will answer it the best I can."

Taking in another deep breath again, I say:

"Do you actually like Miura? Is she more than just a shield to you? If you do like her, then why now, why waited until this moment to ask her out?"

Hayama stares at me blankly for a few seconds, he definitely didn't expect that question at all. But alas, he manages to let out a sigh before resuming.

"I guess it's better this way."

Hayama turns his gaze toward me, and I am taken aback. This is the second time he gives me such a soul-piercing glare.

"HikiGaYa-kun."

I have never felt this much menace in his voice before.

"You see, I also have a confession to make," he continues.

"What is it?"

Hayama makes a sigh again. I have never seen him having so much trouble speaking before.

"I loved Yukino."

"..."

… Time comes to a stop. It's my turn to stare at him blankly. Even though I already have a lingering suspicion, but hearing him saying it loud and clear like this is just so surreal.

Hayama chuckles, "don't look at me like that, don't worry, it's not that kind of love, or rather, not anymore."

What do you mean by that?

"Remember when I told you about the time that Yukino got hurt and I couldn't do anything? I was just simply twisting my words to avoid responsibility. The reason I couldn't do anything because I was the one who hurt her."

Hurt her? In what sense? A rejection?

"I left her behind. She was broken, nothing was resolved. Yeah, I know that look you're giving me right now, it looks like you are going to punch me at any moment now. I have been giving that look to myself ever since. The guilt was eating me alive. I tried everything, every way, but nothing worked. I finally gave up on loving her. I still love her, but I know that I can't no longer be the one who will heal her, that is why right now, I just want to see her become happy again, and that is enough for me."

Still trying to keep up a smile, but his expression has become soul-crushingly solemn.

"I hate you for being able to do the thing that I couldn't. But I trusted you, Hikigaya-kun. I thought that you could bring happiness to Yukino again."

"..."

"Hikigaya-kun. Have you ever been rejected?"

"Yeah."

"So you know how painful it is to be rejected, right? You had it, Yukino had it,..."

Hayama turns away, his voice blends into the wind.

"... I had it."

He turns back at me with a stern look on his face.

"I don't want to see her feel rejected again, that is why, I won't let you keep on chasing butterflies like this."

"What does this have anything to do with me and Yukinoshita?

"You seem to think that I don't know what happened between you and Yumiko?"

He hits me right in the weak spot, no mercy. What I afraid the most has finally come true.

"What happened between me and Miura, what nonsense are you talking about?" I keep up a poker face.

"Don't deny it. You know what I'm talking about."

"..."

"I know that you will be mad at me, but this is for your own good, Hikigaya-kun, and for Yukino's as well."

I glare at him, feeling like I'm being driven into a corner, helplessness builds up inside my stomach.

"For Yukinoshita's sake, don't give me that crap."

"..."

"You thought that it would make her happy, but was it just to resolve your own guilt, wasn't it? Not to mention you don't even love Miura, yet you are using her like this."

Our eyes locks, I feel like if I look away, I will lose the battle.

"I'm aware of that, but I told you before, I'm not the nice person you think I am," he speaks with a pitiful tone.

"So this is your true color."

"You can hate me for all you like, but this is the only thing I can do. Listen to me, please. You and Yukino share something special, you know it, don't throw it all away just because of a sudden surge of emotion."

My throat chokes, I want to scream. I can't disagree with him, no matter how much I want to. But something in me tells me that it isn't right! What is it that I'm looking for? A fault in his reasoning?

He might be right, but that is what it all is, might be. However, I know one thing is for certain.

What you did to Miyu was unacceptable. That is why…

"I won't let you continue with this."

"Don't try it, Hikigaya-kun."

His final words hit me like a rock. They are not words of intimidation, it sounds, almost like a warning.

But, there is no reason for me to hold back anymore.

…

Thursday. After school. Shopping district.

Idling between the aisles inside a convenient store, I grab the snacks that Komachi instructed me to get, but that's not the main purpose for me to be here. If it were, I would have left this place half an hour ago.

My hand reaches out to grab the remaining snack on the list, but I can already sense her poppy fragrance before I even see her.

I glance to my right and see the exact person that I'm waiting for.

"Ah, Hikio."

"Hello," I reply back softly.

"You are getting that, too?"

"It's for my sister."

"What a coincidence! That's what Kotomi wanted, too," she speaks with a friendly, casual tone. "I can see that both of us are errand runners for our sisters."

It might have been a coincidence in any other day, but that day is not today. Thank you, Kotomi.

"They are such pain."

"Totally!" she smiles.

What a friendly atmosphere. It disgusts me so much.

It takes her about two minutes to gets what she needs, and soon after we are already finished our check-outs and leave the building. As we continue walking side by side, Miyu eventually strikes up a conversation:

"Looking good."

"Don't mention it."

"Did you find a girlfriend?"

I choke.

"No!" my eyes avoid her. "Don't be ridiculous."

"Normally you dress up when you find someone you like, right?"

"Not really," I always find myself scoffing at the exact idea, but here I am right now. You have no idea how right you are right now.

"Just kidding! Like someone like Hikio can find a girlfriend that easily. I mean, your* okay now, but you still have a way to go."

I just shoot her an annoyed look while she smiles at me mischievously. The atmosphere is so friendly, it makes me uncomfortable. I recognise it clearly, I already experienced it once: the same frozen atmosphere like the Service Club during Christmas time last year; the same statue-esque smiles, the same masks that we wear to hide away from our fears.

"Anyway, where are you going now?" she continues.

"Not sure. What about you?"

"I think I'm just gonna go home."

"I'll walk you there."

"Heh?" Her eyes widen, she fidgets around a bit. "Mah, I guess it's ok."

…

Another day, another sunset, a lot of things have happened around sunset lately. For a student, after school seems to be the only time they get to spend time with their peers outside of class, so I guess that makes sense. We ride the train in mostly silence, both of us find joy in staring out the moving landscape behind the blood-red sky. The little noises can be heard but to me right now, everything is muffled and the air is unmoving. My mind is using all of its processing power, the inevitable dread of the thing coming up occupies all of my senses. I breathe calmly through my nose, but butterflies are growling in my stomach.

We walk on the small street that has become familiar to me, since I have walked this street a couple of times. There's only dead silence around us, but this is the silence that I don't welcome. Not because it's awkward, it's because I know that I have to act now, or who knows when there will be another chance like this.

"Miyu," I mutter.

"Huh? Did you say something?"

I've been thinking again and again, nights over nights turning myself upside down. I couldn't think of a good way to do this. Am I going to say it's straight like this? It isn't like me at all.

"Hayama…"

He might be right, I do still have a responsibility to Yukinoshita. But even if things won't work out between us, I still don't want to see you being fooled by Hayama like this.

"... He doesn't really love you."

I say it, as clear and as straight as I can. And just as expected, her body completely freezes up.

"He's only fooling you," I mutter.

I can barely take a glance at her. She stares at the ground, eyes hidden behind her golden bang.

"Why?" her voice is airy.

"I talked to Haya-"

"WHY Did You Say That?!" Miyu shouts.

She twists her body and rams both of her palms into my chest. My body was flung back a good metre, but I still manage to keep my stance.

"Are you Stupid?! What do you WaNt?!" she screams at the ground, her tone is all messed up.

"I just don't want you to be fooled by him."

"Why do you Even Care?!"

"Because!" my throat chokes, I can't say the thing I want to say. "You're my childhood friend," I mutter the weakest excuse I can come up with.

"Liar! I don't want to hear your excuse! I don't believe you!"

"It's true. He told me by himself."

"No! He loves me!" Miyu shrieks with her eyes shut tight.

My heart is dripping blood again. Do you love him that much that you willing to fool yourself into that?

"If he doesn't..." her voice is trembling. She looks at me, her eyes were those of a lost child, "then who does..?"

My feet are rooted to the ground. Her body posture shrinks, arms retreat in front of her chest, looking like they are trying to calm her pounding heart. What does she mean by that?

"Not him, not even you..."

I want to scream, I want to say what I want to say, but I can't. The word just won't come out.

"Why are you doing this?" she pouts, "even though you were the one who pushed me away…"

She looks at me again. Her eyes are mixed with anger and sadness.

"You pushed me away! You confessed even though you knew it would ruin our relationship, all because of Her. I got it, you like her, right?"

No, it's not like that! The reasons I did that was partly because of her, but not out of any special feelings. But, there is also one more important reason:

"The real reason I did that is because," I continue, "because our relationship at that time wasn't genuine. I don't want us to have that kind of relationship."

"HuH?!"

"Look at me!" I exclaim, hovering my palm in front of my mouth. "The person you are looking at is not me! This is what you made me into, it's only an image that you crafted by yourself, the image that you approved. Would you still want to talk to me if I weren't like this? Would you still hang out with me if I weren't like this? This person is not the real me. I can't be in a relationship where I have to constantly be someone I'm not."

She looks at me with bewildered eyes.

"What are you talking about?!" she shouts, her voice has become coarse. "I don't understand what you suppose to mean?! What is this real you, fake you deal?! You are what you are, right?! You are whoever you want to be! Why there is a difference?! The real you, who is the real you?! Is the pathetic, dead-eye-looking, always gloomy, always sitting alone in class Hikio the real you?! Why do you even want that to be the real you?! What about the Hikio I met ten years ago?! Is that not the real Hikio?! Where is THAT Hikio?!"

She makes a slight hiccup. Her eyes gaze at me, but they are now brimming with tears.

"My Hikio…"

She turns and runs off, while I continue to stand here, unable to say anything, unable to do anything. I just stand here, feeling the heavy sunlight on my neck.

Ah, I remember it now. Miyu has always been a crybaby.

I clench my fist, nails digging into my palm.

Goddammit.

I was thoroughly defeated.

* * *

 **Extras**

 _In another alternate universe._

It was that fated night, where the moon was round and thousands of stars were sparkling in the sky. On the windy hillside near the temple, Yumiko asked:

"Was it because of Yukinoshita?"

"Yes," Hikio answered, his voice was like a whisper.

"I see," Yumiko softly exclaimed. A look of disappointment could be seen on her face.

"At least…"

His sudden word took her by surprise. She turned to him again, only to find him gazing intensely at her.

"That's what I once believe it was for."

Without notice, her heart started beating profusely. His stare was so tense that Yumiko couldn't even break away. Her mind was running wild with all kinds of meanings in his last sentence.

"I thought it was because of Yukinoshita, I told myself that was because of Yukinoshita. But, I realise it now. It was never about Yukinoshita."

"Wha-what are you talking about? Are you stupid?!" Yumiko pouted. This was not good! His face was reaching even closer and her heart was beating even faster.

"I realised that, I just wanted an excuse to confess to you. I was a bastard for not realise that you were my childhood friend much earlier, but even so, I still felt a deep connection whenever we were together."

"A-are you even serious?!" blood rushed to Yumiko's cheeks. "Are you just faking out like the other day again?!"

"I was never not serious on that day in the begin with. I was just putting on a facade so that I could have enough courage to confess to you."

Hikio pinched her slim chin with his thumb and index finger, then gently pulled her face upward.

"I want to continue where we left off," they were so close that his whisper was loud enough for her to hear, and their body scents started to intertwine.

"No way~" Yumiko tried to glance away. "I know that we used to be childhood friends, but that was a long time ago. Now we both have different people that we are interested in."

"You were the only one I was interested in. Didn't you notice? You are the one I looked at the most during class. In a way, I'm glad that I forgot about you, so that I can fall in love with you all over again."

"Ha.. ah, stupid~" she pouted, feeling like her body is melting. It wasn't fair, how could he say such a thing? His soft, soothing mellow voice was like a river that swept her away and put her into a deep trance. "No, this is wrong. We are not supposed to be together~"

"You're right. We were never supposed to be together. That is why I want it so bad. You want it too, right? You want to taste the forbidden fruit."

"Ah~" Yumiko breathed loudly through her mouth. Her mind was going haywire.

And without a warning, Hikio kissed her gently on her lips. And at that moment, Yumiko knew she could never go back.

…

…

Late night. Yumiko's room.

The pillow she was burying her face into muffled her shriek. She couldn't believe what just went through her head. She couldn't help it; her mind couldn't help running wild with many ways of how it could have been different. She already had a boyfriend but there she was, thinking about this kind of stuff. What a bad girl she was!

Yumiko pulled away from the pillow, which was now spotted with tears and saliva, got up from the bed and went to her makeup drawers. She dug deep into the drawer and pulled out an old piece of paper, seemingly like a photo, and stared at it for a good while.

"Baka!" with her blurry eyes and blushed cheeks, she pouts.

* * *

 **A/N: *It happened in a couple of previous chapters, too, but that "your" is intentional. Sometimes I like to leave in grammatical errors in speaking dialogue to emulate the informal/casual speaking pattern in Japanese.**

 **I can't really promise upload date anymore, sorry about that. Just got my hands on Breath of the Wild and Persona 5 (in my top 3 game franchises), so I'm going to be dead in my room for a while.**


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23: Humanity has declined**

"Hey there, Hachi-kun. Any plan for the summer?" her digitally distorted, sultry voice rings through my ears. On the other end of the line is no other than the queen of fake masks herself.

"I'm busy," a lie, obviously.

"Hahahahaha!" Haruno busts out a riveting laugh. "Anyway, our uncle owns a beach house down in Kanagawa, so I figured that the bunch of us could go there for summer vacation, Service Club is invited of course!"

Didn't I just say that I'm busy? Oh well, I have no one to blame but myself for thinking that someone like Haruno can be tricked by such a blatant lie.

"Who is this 'bunch of us'?" I reluctantly reply.

"Well, there's the Service Club, to start with. There's also Hayama and his friends of course."

Going to a beach summer vacation with Hayama? I'd rather have my intestine cut open.

"No thank you, I'm still not interested."

"Is that so? That's tooo bad because Komachi-chan already agreed to go with us. So I guess she will have to go alone then, along with Tobe and Yamato and the likes…."

"Kch!"

I clench down my phone. Why is my sister already have so many connections with these guys already? As a brother, I cannot expose my sister to such bad influences.

"I will talk her out of it…"

"Kotomi-chan will be going, too."

"..."

"Hachi-kun?"

You are an evil woman, you know that? Despite my strongest efforts, she has been able to get me exactly where she wanted me to, almost every time. How dangerous is this woman?

Haruno used Marin Karin. It's a hit!

"I'll take that as a yes, then. By the way, as a bonus, I will tell you where we are staying."

"Didn't you say Kanagawa?"

"But where in Kanagawa?"

"I don't really care."

"It's in Miura Peninsula."

"..."

"It has really nice beaches, you see. I'm sure you will like them, Hachi-kun~ So, don't you want to go to it more now? Don't you want to go Miura-"

*Beep*

What's up with Hachi-kun? Doesn't she kind off become suddenly overly friendly overnight?

Throwing my phone away, I let my back freefall to the mattress inside my room. The sky is dark and the air is abruptly quiet. Staring at the bleak ceiling, my mind starts to wonder about all the possibilities. What am I going to do then? How am I going to face her, now? And her, as well.

I feel so paralysed, stuck at a dead end with no solution in sight. I rest my arm against my forehead, feeling its weight crushing down on my mind.

There is no one to blame but myself. Even though I despise that bastard so much, I realise that myself is just as guilty, if not more. It feels as if a wrinkly, slender, sharp-nailed hand is crawling inside my brain, picking it apart. Like that time, my mind is seemingly drained of idea.

To be or not to be? That is the question.

"BEACH!"

A screeching sound interrupts my thought process, as a certain loud mouthed girl barges through my closed door.

She is annoying, for sure, but seeing her happy-go-lucky face takes my mind off somehow.

"No take back!" Komachi points at my face. "You already said yes right? I'll hate you forever if you decide to weasel out!"

"Thanks, Komachi," I reply with a sarcastic tone. Wait a minute, I actually didn't mean it that way.

"That's how you thank your sister for setting up this wonderful vacation for you?" she pouts, "At least shows a bit of appreciation."

"I am."

"Well you don't sound like it at all."

To be honest, I rather take the college entrance exam on the spot right now rather than going on this asinine summer trip. Hey, don't you think this is the worst possible timing for a beach episode?

You may give me my medicine, Komachi, and that is what I need, but it is still bitter as hell, so I should be allowed to be a bit grumpy, right?

I rub the little sister's forehead as she situates on the same bed as mine. I try to come up with something to say, but cannot think of any. 'I'll take care of this?' I'm not sure I can even say that.

"You know the true purpose of this trip, right?" she whispers.

I sigh.

"You know what to do?"

"Not a clue."

"Hmm…" she contemplates for a while, "I'm sure you will think of something. You always do, since you are my Onii-chan, right?"

"A despicable Onii-chan," I mutter absentmindedly.

"That's a bit redundant."

"You little brat."

"Tee hee"

I guess I feel a little bit better now.

…

Thursday, or as I like to call it: D-day. Morning

"Hurry up, Onii-chan!" Komachi's cries.

"What's with the rush?" I speak with a yawn still lingering in my throat. "There's is still a lot of times."

"If you don't hurry up I'm going to leave myself!"

I sigh audibly. What's with this girl? She's definitely not the puncture type, yet she is so worked up right now? Are you that excited for a summer vacation?

"It's my first summer vacation as a high school student, after all. Of course I'm excited. Come on, let's go let's go!"

"Coming."

Suddenly Komachi wants to get some snacks, so we have to take a different line to the shop. I guess that's why she wants to go early. Not a good habit for you, Komachi. You should have taken care of this yesterday. I know because I have been there.

For some reasons, the route I'm taking is strikingly familiar.

We stride back to the station platform to Chiba station in a hurry. With nothing else to do, I'm just absentmindedly observing the sea of people passing by. But then, I catch my sister calling out to someone. Instinctively, my gaze is drawn to the direction of her shout.

"..."

I'm speechless. Also, I am such a dumb-ass.

We look at each other with a bewildered look on both of our faces, while our little sisters casually greet like they just happen to bump into each other. My ass.

I throw a glare at Komachi while she averts her eyes with an awkward smile. In my peripheral, I can sense that she's also doing the same thing to her sister.

"Hi," the girl with golden locks gives a short greeting, peeking at me from the corner of her eyes.

"Hello."

My word is drowned by the ear-piercing, metallic screeching of the approaching train.

Today, the train is quite crowded.

There are only a few seats left, so as responsible elder brother and sister, we both leave the remaining seats to Komachi and Kotomi. As the flow of the people starts coming and going, we soon find ourselves separated farther away from the little sister pair, and soon after their sight has been completely blocked off five bodies thick.

"..."

Not good!

It's just me and her sharing this tiny space. With just a few inches between our bodies, a nostalgic poppy fragrance fills up my entire smell bud. Memories are pouring, but less like a stream and more like a hailstorm.

Awkward.

We haven't even spoken a word since our initial greeting. In any other circumstances, this would just be another normal day to me. I don't mind the silence, I don't feel the need for small talk. But now I have this tingling sensation running all over my skin. It's torturing me into saying something, wanting me to open my mouth, but the worst thing is that my mind is completely blank. What should I talk about? I have nothing to say to her.

I make myself looks occupied by staring out to the flying-by roofs. But that girl is like a magnet, no matter what I do, I am unknowingly drawn to her figure, all at the worst possible times.

And it makes my heart thumping like mad.

Because that's when I notice that, she has been taking glances at me as well.

Delusion it maybe, but I can't help but notice this tingling sensation of someone eyeing on me. I glance at her, she glances else where, and I do the same. But once in a blue moon, our gazes accidentally meet, only to soon avert away.

We still haven't spoken a word to each other.

Is there anything that can be said? Where are we right now? What exactly are we? The limbo between friends and strangers, between love and hate, and between apathy and passion. I honestly cannot tell.

But it doesn't matter now. You're thinking too much, Hachiman. Breathe in, breathe out, keep calm and just enjoy the scenery.

The sky is blue and clear, not a single cloud in sight.

Her golden hue radiates out of the corner of my eyes.

The leaves are green, dotted by the pinkish spring flowers.

As pink as the glossy shine of her soft lips.

The train weaves through the concrete jungle, passing by the colossal glistering glass shells of those high roller offices.

But she's wearing a shoulder exposed purple blouse today, and fitted denim skirts.

Down below the elevated train, rows and rows of cars are scurrying through brightened asphalt like mouse.

But more importantly, it's those exposed thighs and calves, and the turquoise polish on her toe nails.

What are you doing, Hachiman?!

Suddenly, I notice that her gaze at me is kind off becoming more glaring. Oops, did I stare too much? I didn't mean to do that.

At this point, we still refuse to speak to one another.

The train makes a sharp turn, and everyone on the train is thrown off guard. I'm holding to the railing on my dear life while trying to stand my ground.

"Kya!"

A small shriek emits from the blonde hair girl as she falls onto me, her arms pummel on my chest. Not good, not good! She's going to feel how fast my heart is beating right now! But beneath the soft sensation of her chest, I can feel her heartbeat as well. It's… fast. I look at her, but she looks away. Her eyes look fierce, but her cheeks are very evidently turning red, and small gaps of air escape her slightly opened lips.

"Are…"

My voice almost came out, but then it was cut short again by an invisible sub-consciousness. I can't help but think about what just happened. Just seconds ago, we both shared the same raving heart beats. But it's just natural, right? Situations like this should get anybody's heart racing. There is nothing to get worked up about.

But the real question to be asked, is why are you still here?

And by here, I mean not on the train, but rather, still attached to me. The train has gone back to normal, and it's not even that crowded, yet our shoulders are still touching, almost leaning against one another. I look at her. She still avoids me, but her flustered cheeks still remain. She doesn't move away.

And we just kind off stay like that.

"..."

Today, the weather is quite hot.

The train changes its course and the sun is now beaming through our windows. The exposed light piercing through my skins raises the heat up a little, or is it sunlight that actually raises my heat up?

I look at her and it looks like she feels the same way. I can feel the overflowing heat steaming from her body, see her slightly opened lips. She's breathing visibly, and her chest is puffing in a hypnotising rhythm, or is it the rhythm that is hypnotising?

Suddenly, she slips her finger under her V-neck and starts fanning herself with her own blouse.

"!"

Christ! This girl... You are just as careless as ever.

She keeps fanning herself as she's lamenting the heat in almost silent, completely unaware of her surrounding.

Or so I thought.

In a split second, her glossy green irises dart at me. Not even a glare but rather just a simple gaze, but my body feels as if it just has been zapped. I glance away so fast I might have dislocated my eyeballs. Is that even possible? I close my eyes and swallow down some saliva, trying to calm myself.

God knows how much time has passed, but I can't help but peek at her again. I didn't see it, but I can somehow feel it, her glance at me. Her gaze is pointing elsewhere, but something in me is telling me that she knows my every move. I'm not imagining it, aren't I? If I have to ask this question, the answer is already yes.

We continue to stand side by side in silence, keep doing our own things, or least pretend to do our own things. My brain is hyper aware of her every small movement, the little flicks of her blouse that she insists on doing to keep herself cool, or are they even meant to keep herself cool in the first place? Goddammit, Hachiman. My brain is a jumbled mess right now. This girl is so dangerous.

"..."

"..."

…

The train finally arrives at Chiba Station. It feels like an eternity. My sister told me that we wouldn't take the train there but used the station as the common meeting spot instead.

As we navigate through the sea of morning people toward the entrance, I finally see the waving hand of a busty girl with bright coloured hair.

"Hikkii! Yumikoo!" she shouts through the crowd.

Jeez, how much tact do you need to lack in order to do this? Can't you see that some people are getting annoyed by your shouting?

"Morning, Senpai! Miura-senpai!" I'm slightly taken aback at the appearance of my foxy junior, but in hindsight, I should have seen it coming.

"Ooh, Hikitani and Yumiko together, now this is a rare sight," Tobe comments while rubbing his chin.

"We just happened to be on the same train," she dismisses him.

"Yahallo Komachi-chan, Kotomi-chan!" Yuigahama says.

"Yahallo everyone!" Komachi says.

"Yahallo!" Kotomi repeats.

Ah, everyone is here. Hayama, Tobe, dude 3, dude 4, Ebina, and the devil woman herself. Even Hiratsuka-sensei is here too for some reason.

"Just think of this as the Service Club summer camp," she says. "You need an adult for your parents to approve the trip anyway, and as the club guardian, I'm obviously the best choice to accompany you guys."

"Haruno is an adult." I utter while glancing at the woman in a violet jacket.

Hayama and Tobe both look at me with an amusing smirk on their faces, then look to Haruno.

"Whoa," Tobe says.

"Mah mah," Haruno touches her cheek, "it's ok. I don't mind at all, right Hachi-kun?."

Yeah, I don't really care either.

"Well, you still need two adults to supervise the lot of you. I will supervise the Service Club while Yukinoshita-san will take care the rest."

"I don't know. It feels like you just kind of tag along 'cause you have no other plan-"

Her palm slams down my shoulder and pulls me closer to her murderous gaze.

"What are you trying to imply here, Hachi-kun? That I don't have nobody to spend summer with?"

"Of.. course not, Sensei," I utter.

"Just because you got yourself a new look doesn't mean you can be cheeky at me, ya hear?"

No no no, you're mistaken, Sensei. I have always been like that with you.

And of course, the one member of the Service Club. She's here, too, looking rather out of place. We meet eyes for a short second, then pull away. She throws a sharp look at me again as she speaks:

"Must you be always late every time?"

"For the record, I am on time. Just because I am the last to arrive doesn't mean I'm late."

"What is this? Already lover's quarrel in the morning?" Haruno butts in.

"Nee-san!" The younger sister hisses at her.

Over there, Hayama is still making his default smiling face, while the blonde hair girl is mindlessly tapping away on her phone.

But why do I have a feeling that she knows?

It's probably just me and my delusion.

"Ok ok!" Haruno says. "Now that's we are all here, let's all get moving!"

We split up into two SUVs. Sensei drives the Service Club, Isshiki, and the two little sisters; that makes seven of us. The other sevens are on the other car, driven by Haruno.

There's nothing around but the monotonous hum of the engine. Sun is shining, flowers are blooming. On day like this loner like me, should be sleeping in bed.

"For a loner, you sure have made yourself quite a company, don't you think?" Hiratsuka says. We are both in the front seats.

"All thanks to you, sensei."

"Huh? Was that supposed to be sarcastic?" she raises her voice.

"That's pretty hurtful, sensei."

"Well I never see you say such positive things and actually mean it."

"Well.. no." I utter. "I really mean it. Thanks for sticking around with me."

"Come on, kid. It's not even graduation yet and you're getting sappy already. It sounds like you are leaving for war or something."

"Well, more or less."

She chuckles, "it's just a summer vacation, you'll handle it somehow. I think it will even be less stressful than last year. There won't be any opportunity for you to jump the sharks, kid."

Oh sensei, you have no idea what you are getting into.

The long lonely highway tears through the city as we drive. There's just us, the road, and the barrier that separates us from the outside world. We are driving, we are moving forward, but there's seem to be one way for me to go, a destined location that I cannot avoid.

Is it how I want it to go, is it where I want to be?

I have so many doubts.

…

Midday.

"Welcome to the Yukinoshita beach house!" Haruno cheers as she holds the front door opens.

The place is a slightly upscale house with an ocean view and a beach right next door. You can say that it is quite western looking. Glossy wooden floor, huge glass front, this place feels like a legit resort. I guess they are not the Yukinoshita for nothing.

"Wow, isn't it like, totally a five-star resort!" Yuigahama says.

"Not exactly five-star, I would say it's more like three and a half star," Yukinoshita says.

"We actually rent out this place," Haruno explains. "A different company manages it, but in our contract we can have a month free here."

"Wow, that's so cool," Komachi says. "You guys can stay here for free for a whole month!"

I think you are impressed for the wrong reasons, Komachi. They bought this place, which technically means they can stay here year round. They just decide to be smart and let someone else manages this place for them.

"Okay! Let's see who is stay with who now?" Haruno announces.

After a while of shuffling around, the group finally arrives at the conclusion. Haruno is staying with Sensei. Yukinoshita, Yuigahama, and Iroha are staying together. The two sisters get themselves their own room. Ebina is with her friend, I guess. As for me, it doesn't matter who I'm staying with, I'm never going to be happy. Naturally, Komachi would be my first choice, but I think she would prefer this chance to stay with someone else other than her older brother. Why is Totsuka not here? I would stay with him in a heartbeat, or a lot of heartbeats if that were to really happen.

Anyhow, the maximum capacity for each room is three people; and if it's anything like last time, Hayama is going to off himself again to keep the group dynamic, which means I'm going to be stuck with him again. No thank you, I think I would rather hang myself.

In times like these, desperate measure must be taken.

"Hey Tobe, want to stay with me?" I say.

For some reason, everyone is startled by my proposal. Actually, I do know the reason, needless to say, my past self would puke if he sees what I'm doing right now.

Tobe's reaction is the same as everyone else. His mouth is stuck between a gasp and a smile.

"Wow, for real Hikitani-kun?"

Hayama makes a chuckle.

"Hey, it's not your every day when Hikitani-kun personally asks someone to stay with him, you know. You better appreciate it."

I peer at Hayama. He must know exactly why I did this, yet his face is still beaming with glee. I guess Hayama is still Hayama no matter what.

"Yeah man, why not? Let's a have wild night tonight, Hikitani-man!"

 _Oi oi, you are going to flip the switch on someone if you say it like that!_

"Yes please!" Ebina shrieks.

See, I told you.

"Okay! Let's get settle in our rooms for like half an hour then we'll meet up again in the living room!" Haruno says as she clasps her hand together.

"What are we going to do about lunch?" Tobe growls.

"We are going to have a beach barbeque, of course!" she says with a cheeky tone.

"Oh, hell yeah! I've been waiting for this!" Tobe howls while taking a stance like he's going Super Saiyan.

"That's a great idea," Hayama says. "Do need any help setting it up? We can give you a hand."

"Of course!" Haruno smiles. "That's why I told you guys to meet here after. I will go through the plan with you then."

"Sounds great."

After that, we break up and on to our rooms. It's not actually a long way to go. The room was average size, smaller than my room actually, but it still rather nice.

As I throw my suitcase to the ground and sit on the criminally comfy mattress, I feel a buzz inside my pocket.

Komachi: [Onii-chan, come to our room immediately]

I sigh through my nose and put the phone back into my pocket. Those two must not up to something good again, and as a brother, I must at least talk them out of it before they do anything stupid.

"Hey, where are you going? We just got here for like five mins," Tobe calls out as I sluggishly walk to the door.

"Washroom," I say.

Outside, the hallway and the living room is understandably but strangely silent. It's hard to believe that there are fourteen people inside this place right now.

"This is the one."

I mutter to myself as I double check the instruction text on my phone. The door in front of me must be it.

And so without any hesitation, I open the door.

In front of me is the two sisters standing up straight just right where I walk in. Both of them is wearing a mysterious face with each of their palms cover one of their eyes. Komachi is tapping an umbrella gently on her shoulder while Kotomi has an issue of JUMP on her hand.

"Welcome to…"

"The Velvet room," Kotomi says.

Oh, brother.

"Hm! Onii-chan!" Komachi put her hands on her hips. "You got guts for walking in into our room without even knocking! It's ok when it's just me but Kotomi is here, too, you know!"

"Ah, right sorry. I did it by instinct."

"I won't be bothered by something like that," Kotomi speaks with an amazingly forced deadpan tone. "His presence is like a dead fish, and as such I will not flinch at his sight no matter what he does."

"Shall we punish him, Kotomi?!" Komachi voice is like nails on a chalkboard, as she rhythmically pounds the umbrella on her other palm.

"It won't be necessary, Caro-Komachi. We simply have more important business to take care of than dealing with spec like him."

What are we playing? Good cop, bad cop? By the way, Kotomi, don't you even think that I didn't notice you slipping up just now.

I walk toward them and karate chop both of their foreheads.

"Kya!"

"Geh!"

They both fall on their beds as I situate myself on the bedside cabinet.

"Jeez, Onii-chan is no fun!"

"Sadist Onii-chan~" Kotomi purrs.

Whatever. I don't give a damn anymore.

"What do you want now?" I ask.

Both of them sits up straight on their bed again.

"What do you think, Onii-chan? What order reason do we have to call you up here?" Komachi says.

I think I can figure, but I just don't want to think about it.

"The battle is about to start, so we need to have an intelligence briefing," Kotomi says.

"Hey now…"

"We need to come up a plan for you to dazzle Onee-san!" Komachi says.

"Look, I…"

"But first, we need to consider our opponents. As far as I know, our main opponents are Blondie-senpai and Haruno-san. They are definitely very tough, but I'm willing to take them on."

"Stop this."

I hammer those words down. They are not loud, but intimidating enough to interrupt them. A flash of confusion can be seen on their faces, but sadness also starts to slowly seep in.

"Think about what are you are asking to do. You are asking me, to steal, Hayama's girlfriend. No matter how you think about it, it's not something I can do."

"But you say that he's just using Yumi-nee!"

"That might just be an excuse for myself."

I said it, and the little sisters are left speechless. I realised it already. I realised that that was simply something to convince myself to act. In the end, I am powerless against this development.

"If she is happy herself, then I have no reason to do anything," I utter.

"But she's definitely not happy!" Kotomi shrieks.

"Prove it then."

"I…" she chokes, "I just know it."

"That's not enough." It's never enough.

Seeing Kotomi's defeated face, I can't help but feel a bit guilty.

"At the very best, I can only help her realise Hayama's true intention, but I cannot try to steal her away from him."

The twin tails girl plops down onto the bed like a ragdoll. She buries her face into the soft foam and starts groaning and making unintelligible words.

"Onii-chan, that's not the real reasons why you won't do it, isn't it?"

"!"

My eye twitches under the weight of her words. Such simple words, yet they are enough to throw my composure off. Have I been lying to myself again?

Komachi sits on the bed with her arms wrap around her knees. She stares at me with eyes so fierce they look almost accusing.

"You are still wondering what to do with Yukino-san, right?" she continues.

My heart shrivels away like a squeezed lemon. Since when my sister is this perceptive?

The twin tail sister springs back up. Her eyes are staring me down full of intrigue.

"I can be good in certain things in certain circumstances," she replies cheekily. "I'm still your sister for over 15 years, you know. Don't think you can get past me with this stuff."

"What about her?" I adjust my tone straight.

"Let me guess, the reason why you won't do it is because you feel like you have a responsibility to Yukinon-san."

My nails dig into my palm as I'm unable to come up with any rebuttal. There is nothing to deny. My sister gives the answer to the very question that I have been too afraid to ask.

"I see," Kotomi's eyes look distant as she utters. "So in the end, the real issue is that you cannot decide between Yumi-nee and Yukinon-san."

"It's not about that. I simply pick the option that will maximise everyone's happiness."

"What about your happiness?" Komachi says.

Put my hands into my pockets, I keep my head down and slowly walk toward the door.

"That's not important."

I dug myself into this. Happiness, to me right now, might as well be put into a glassy displace inside a jewelry store.

"Onii-chan," Kotomi calls, "just a heads up, if you somehow choose Yukinon-san just because you have a responsibility, it would be no different than what Blondie-senpai did to Yumi-nee."

Her words are piercing. Like Komachi, she gives me the answer of another question that I have been too afraid to ask, the question that finally makes me admit that, maybe deep down, I'm not so different than Hayama after all.

And I hate Hayama.

Vacation? Getaway? Field trip? No. This is a trial, and Hikigaya Hachiman is the defendant.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24: Summer Love**

Half an hour has already passed and all of us once again gather around in the living room.

"Okay okay!" Haruno is being overly charismatic as usual. "We will split up here! All the girls are coming with me to shop for ingredients while the boys help Sensei carry the grills and all other stuff out to the beach, all right?"

"Sounds great to me," Hayama says.

"You heard the lady," Hiratsuka flicks her head at my direction. "Come on, we actually have a lot to carry."

"Okaay sensei." Tobe growls.

The girls take off and we also start scurrying around the house looking for stuff. Sensei wasn't kidding when she said that we have a lot to carry. Let's see what we will need… Disposable foam plates, more than two dozens of them, and of course disposable chopsticks as well, wooden picks, some forks and spoon, a couple of fold tables, some knives, two cutting boards, and a bunch of plastic cups. We also need two coolers. Even though I wonder why we need two coolers, I'm actually more amazed by the fact we do have two. And of course, with cooler comes ice, and they take quite a bit of sweat to carry. There's still some miscellaneous stuff, like towels, picnic cloths, lighters, some tongs, some plastic bags, and a hefty bag of charcoals. And then we still need to take care of the most important things for a barbecue, the grill itself, or should I say, grills. Hayama and the gang handle two classic American grills while I carry the two Shichirins (clay grill that looks like a pot).

Hiratsuka-sensei observes the back of a fully stuffed SUV, eyes making quick darts to the piece of paper on her hand.

"Hm… it looks like we got everything. Good job boys."

"Finally," Tobe signs.

I check my phone. It looks like our little preparation took no less than half an hour.

"We are going now. Make sure to not forget your own stuff," she says.

"It's ok sensei," Tobe scoffs, "the place is like five-minute walk. If I forget anything, I'll just run back and get it."

"Suits yourself," she laments.

And with that, we all get in the car and hit the gas.

"By the way, I wonder who is going to cook," Tobe says.

"It's free for all. If you want to cook, just step up," Sensei says. "Although I'll have you know, I can grill some pretty mean steaks."

"You grill, Sensei?" I say.

"Huh, you seem pretty doubtful, Hikigaya."

"No, not at all. I eat your food before," I mutter. "It's good."

"That's doesn't sound very faithful, eY? Just you wait, Hikigaya, I will knock your socks off."

With your food, right Sensei? Right, Sensei?! Please answer the question, Sensei.

…

Getting the stuff into the car is only half of the ordeal, the other half is bringing them to the beach. But since everything is already in one place, there's no need for us to go treasure hunting anymore. And thus, we manage to set everything up at around 15 minutes top.

The girls still haven't arrived yet, so we make use of the time to change into our swimsuits.

When we come back, there is still no sign of the girls, but at least now I have some free time to finally take a good look at the scenery around me.

Summer is on full blast, but the scorching heat of the sun is mellowed down by the cool sea breeze. Sand is glistering white and smooth, and not coarse and rough like some desert sand. It does still get everywhere, though, but at least it's a nice feeling. The sea is blue and clear, and the wave is a bit calm. There are definitely quite a few already around, but you would think that a beach of this calibre would have way more people than this. It's kind of like a hidden gem I suppose.

"Ah! There they are," Tobe screams.

I turn my head to Tobe's voice and saw eight familiar figures running towards us, each of them carrying quite a sizable plastic bags. The busty girl with pastel coloured hair waves at us.

"Sorry we're late," Haruno says. "There's a lot for us to pick."

"Uwah, that's a lot of stuff," Tobe says.

"There are actually a lot more, but we put them away for the other days," Haruno says.

"What did you guys get?" Hayama says.

Seafood of all kinds, there's salmon, tuna, pacific saury, squid, octopus, shrimps of all sizes, and is that actual lobsters? Clams, mussels, oysters, and scallops,… Crab is there as well, but not just the regular ones, there are some that are just as big as a fist. I have never seen crabs that small before.

"We bought it at a local market," Yuigahama says. "They were super cheap, and the sellers said that this kind of market only sold batches that were caught in the morning, so all kind of hijinks can come with."

"Don't forget to get about herbs and vegetable," Yukinoshita says. "Good herbs can greatly enhance meat's flavour, and we also need to keep tracks to the balance of the meal."

Shitake mushrooms, chopped green onions, sweet onions, sliced green peppers, lemons, limes, herbs that I no idea, they all fill inside a single bag that Yukinoshita is holding.

"Senpai, help me with these."

Iroha squeaks and runs to me, not hesitant to hand over her plastic bag. My hand is caught off guard by the surprising weight of the bag as I limp over. Clanking sound escapes from the bag. No doubt about it, this is a bunch of cans and drinks.

I make my way to the cooler and start dumping everything into the box.

"Ah, I also have drinks, too," Yuigahama calls.

"Uwah, that's seriously a lot of good stuff. Man, I can't wait," Tobe says.

"That's wonderful. Thanks, you guys," Hayama smiles.

The girls proceed to put down their baggage with the help of the boys.

"Okay. We are going to get changed," Haruno says. "Keep watch on our stuff, kay?"

"For sure!" Tobe yells enthusiastically.

We sit back down after the girls take off, but Tobe can't seem to keep himself still.

"Oh man, I have been waiting for this moment forever!"

"It's not the first time you see them in swimsuits you know," I take an educated guess at Tobe's intention.

"What are you talking about, Hikitani? Every time the girls in swimsuits is worth waiting for. Right, Hayama?"

"Yeah, I'm excited, too," Hayama chuckles. "But we probably shouldn't get too ahead of ourselves."

"Got it got it, man," Tobe makes some half-assed wave, then he turns to me again. "Yo, Hikitani, who are you looking forward to seeing the most?"

What's with this guy? Who am I looking for? Eh, who is it that I'm most expecting? My mind slowly forms an image of a long hair brunette, but just before that, there was another image that just flashed by.

"No one in particular," I decide to play it safe.

"That's bull. You must have someone. Come on man, it's just us here."

Don't think you can fool me, Tobe. That question might as well be 'who do you like the most?' and it won't make a slight difference, and I have already sworn to never answer it out loud again in a million years.

"Yukino, right?"

"Not-at-all," I accentuate, half expecting Tobe's guess.

But flat-out denying like that is almost just as suspicious, so I follow up with a natural response.

"But now that you say it, I guess I kind of want to see."

"Yeah man, I know what you mean. Yukino is seriously beauty, but it's sad that she's not my type."

Sure, not your type. Keep telling yourself that, Tobe.

He turns to Hayama and scoffs, "I guess I don't have to guess who you want to see the most, Hayama. Although I think you've probably seen it all already, hahaha."

 _Now you shut your whore mouth, Tobe._

Hayama, upon peeking at my intense yet subtle stare, scratches his neck and makes an awkward chuckle. "Not at all, I'm just as excited as you guys."

He appears to be speaking to Tobe as he's making his remark, looking like he didn't notice me. Meh, not that I care anyway.

I turn my gaze toward the sea and cool my head, but my mind can't seem to stop thinking about what Tobe said. What he said to Hayama doesn't bother me that much, but rather the thing he said to me.

He said… that I was looking forward to Yukinoshita. Or more precisely, within his consciousness, he believes that I was looking forward to Yukinoshita. It's almost natural to think that way, a simpleton like Tobe could even think that way. It's so natural that I could even anticipate his guess.

"Sorry for the wait."

I turn towards the source of the voice.

"..."

Wordless. What can I say? What can I say when they are nine women clad in swimsuits and bikinis stalking towards us. I wish I can savour this moment for the rest of my life. Even though this trip is supposed to be suffering, maybe it's not all that bad after all.

Or maybe it's just what it wants me to think, like some sort of sadistic teasing. Give me the glimpse of heaven only to then drag me down to hell.

"Onii-chan, what do you think?"

Without warning, the two little sisters rush toward me and flaunt their swimsuits at me. Kiddy swimsuits, to say the least. Komachi is sporting a velvet blue top and white bottom while Kotomi's swimsuits are exactly the same but with the colour reversed. Not until now do I notice that they have awfully similar figures, it wouldn't surprise me one bit if they actually switch pieces.

"What do you think, Onii?" Komachi squeaks while trying out a bunch of the poses.

"Ah, still the cutest in the word," I reply with a flat tone.

"Ah, still the dead inside praise," Komachi mimics my tone.

"What about me, Onii-chan?" Kotomi says with her innocent round eyes. Before I have a chance to say anything, I already notice a fiery death glare pointing in my direction. I don't need to turn my head to see who is giving me that look.

"No comment," I glance away.

"Mo, Onii-chan is such a sadist even with words~" Kotomi squeals.

 _Stupid. Idiot. Dumbass. Do you know who you are speaking in front of?_

I completely ignore them and distract myself by looking at the others. Ah, it's the third law of Bewbton coming into effect again. My eyes are suddenly attracted to a pair of frilly cherry blossom coloured bikini tops. Their owner is no other than the girl with pastel hair, Yuigahama. Even though it's already my second time seeing this much skin exposed on her, I'm still amazed every time.

Look away look away! You are overstaying your welcome.

"Man, you guys totally look smoking!" Tobe gives a thumb up.

Smoking? Not all of them, there is definitely one girl here that is nowhere near smoking. Don't get me wrong, I don't even mean to dismiss her appeal one bit, but rather it's the opposite. The word "smoking" just doesn't even come close to describing her.

How do bring snow to a beach during summer? The closest thing you can ever get to do that is bringing her here. Her skin is smooth and fair, her hair flows like a river, looking like they are made out of the night sky. Her classy white bikini with black outlines accentuates her gracefully shaped figure and radiates an air of serenity.

"All of you looks amazing," Hayama speaks up with his iconic smile.

The face of a certain someone lights up, as much as it hurts me. Now if there is someone that the word "smoking" perfectly describes, it would definitely be her. Actually no, I take that back. It would be a grave understatement is what I'm trying to say. She's definitely the embodiment of the summer, and everything is well within her elements. The brilliant sun blesses her golden locks. The vibrant landscape blends with her eye-popping magenta bikini. The summer heat is intense, I wonder if it comes from the sun or actually from her vigorous curves and her striking pink lips.

"Thanks for watching our stuff," Haruno chimes in. "Now that everyone is changed, let's get this party starting!" she makes her way toward the grill.

The older Yukinoshita is wearing a purple bikini, a minimalist design but carefully tailored to the smallest details. If someone tells me that that swimsuit costs an arm and a leg, I wouldn't be surprised one bit. Like her younger sister, this woman can seriously pass as a model.

"Ah, let me help out!" Yuigahama says as she follows Haruno.

I sigh internally. This girl is as enthusiastic as always, even though what she produces might not be the best. I guess, in a way, it can be seen as an endearing trait.

The grill is set and ready as the girls begin unpacking. Haruno and Sensei take the leads but others quickly chime in with their own pieces. It looks too crowded for me to even try to join in, so for now, I'm just going to chill here and watch the sea. Nothing new is going on, it's just the same old scenery, but the sounds of the waves and the coolness of the winds freshen my mind somehow. I take a deep breath of the salty air, and my salty heart becomes a bit mellow.

I glance behind my back again. It looks like others have finished putting their meat on the grill, and since the rest is just monitoring, there are only Hiratsuka and Haruno left while the rest goes elsewhere to have their own fun. Oh man, we must stick out like a sore thumb on this beach, a rowdy bunch of fourteen and two seriously smoking grills, it totally looks like some sort of college frat party.

Sensei is in her usual black bikini that I have seen before, but…

… this may seem a bit irrelevant.

But Sensei… she is wearing a ponytail.

"..."

I stare. I'm astonished, not because she looks good with a ponytail, but how good she looks with a ponytail. Seriously? How can a ponytail increase a person's charm that much? Who am I now? Kyon?

Ponytail is usually the younger looking, peppier hairstyle, while letting your hair down tends to be a more sensual hairstyle. With Sensei already an adult, a ponytail balances out her looks and exudes a fresh aura around her. That's must be the reason.

… Or is it because of her now exposed white nape? Or her well-defined tone back. Ponytail is also a sporty looking hairstyle so it compliments her physique even more. She kind of reminds me someone that I know of… Kawasaki. That's it.

But how is the food going?

I guess it's no harm to take a peek.

My eyes look over her shoulder as my mouth inadvertently lets out an audible hum.

"Heh!" she startles.

"Guhg!"

The ponytail jerks up and elbows me in the guts. My body recoils back.

"What gives, Hikigaya?" her voice is mixed confusion. "What were you doing sneaking up my back like that?"

"I.. just want to see how the meat's doing," I squeeze out the words.

"They still need a while to be done, but good grief, you shouldn't sneak up on people like that!"

' _Sorry sensei but it's just that your ponytail looks so goddamn criminal.'_

… is what I want to say but I'm afraid I'm going to get decked again if I say that.

"Sorry," that's all I can muster to say, but after a while of soothing the pain on my stomach, I manage to continues, "by the way, that ponytail looks good on you."

Although I'm still too nerve wrecked to look straight at her.

"Heh?!" Sensei seems flustered, her hands instinctively reach the tip of her ponytail. "Where does that come from?"

"No reason. It suits you, that's all," I say.

"Is that so?"

Now she also avoids my gaze, too. The atmosphere is so awkward I want to die. I wholly regret my decision.

"It looks like they are about to finish," she changes the subject, much to my blessing. "Soon enough you will be able to taste my skill."

You are still talking about food, right?

Out of the corner of my eyes, I see something interesting. The Shichirins are left untouched. They are fired up and all, but no one has touched them yet. It looks like I can have some fun with it.

I take the clay pot grill and bring it to a less crowded corner, then toss a bunch of squids and mussels onto the grate. With nothing else to do, I slowly watch them slowly get coated by charcoal, and the aroma of the sea starts to ooze out.

A frosty sting spreads across my cheek, startles me as I turn around to look for the perp.

"Senpai~"

"!"

Since I'm squatting, Iroha leans her body forward to get our heads at the same height, acting all cutesy while holding a can of MAX Coffee. The bikini she's wearing is of aquamarine colour and outlined with frills. It compliments her relaxed flaxen hair quite nicely. But that's not even the main point. Now I know Yuigahama is dangerously big busted and all, but Iroha is surprisingly more… endowed than I thought, not like I'm actively noticing it or anything.

' _A blazing summer,_

 _Raging a violent heat,_

 _Inside my body.'_

\- Hikigaya, 201X -

"What'cha doing?" she asks with a cheery smile.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" I reply back with a deadpan tone.

"Isn't that right? But looks like they're going to take a while to cook. Here."

She shakes the can in front of my face.

"Thanks," I make a casual remark, but inside I'm pretty amazed at the fact that she knows.

"In case you don't notice, but I'm the one in charge with drinks, you know."

"Thanks, again."

Her smile becomes a bit softer.

"Drink up."

I bust open the can and take a big gulp. Aah… This is it! The great thing about coffee is that it can be drunk hot or cold, they are good for both summer and winter. This trip might not be so bad after all.

"How is it?"

Iroha situates herself next to me as she opens her juice bottle.

"It's good, like always."

"And how are you feeling now?"

"Good, why you ask?"

"Just checking, you know, since what happened with Miura-senpai and all," she lowers her tone to a whisper.

"I'm over it, I guess."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I am," I avoid her gaze.

"I still feel bad about what happens."

"It's not your fault," I mutter.

Iroha fixes her gaze on the ground without saying anything for while. But then, she speaks up:

"Actually, I-"

"HIKIGAYA!"

My body jerks at the sudden war cry bearing my name. I look up and find Sensei taking a commanding stance while pointing a meat skewer at my face like a sword. Her voice is so intimidating that even Iroha gets scared and clings to me. Ahh, what a nice sensation. I know it's for the wrong reason but thank you, based Sensei.

"Try my food!"

"Yes! Sensei!"

This woman is too eager to show her wife qualities to others to the point of relentlessness. Will someone wife her already?

"How is it?!" She shouts.

"I haven't even touched the skewer," I reply.

"Oh yeah, then hurry up!"

So I do exactly as she told. The charcoal flame coats the meats with an earthy punch, the sweet fast gushes out as my teeth clamp into it. My tongue is dancing with flavours as it whirls me into a ballet of umami.

I stare at the meat skewer wide-eyed. My mouth can barely breathe, the only thing it can do right now is gulping down that delicious hot meat.

"It's good," I exclaim.

"Good to hear!" She grins.

"S-senpai! Can I have a bite?" Iroha takes an eyeful look at the skewer.

"Eh.. are you ok with that?"

"Why not? Hold still Senpai~" She quickly leans forward and slides a piece out of the skewer with her teeth. Her eyes squint with joy as she chews.

"So good~" she squeals.

"There's still a lot left, go help yourself," Sensei's face is beaming with pride.

"Okay, Sensei!" with a whimsical remark, Iroha stands up. But just before she takes off, she turns around and gives me a wink:

"Be right back, Senpai."

Now it's back to just me and the Shichirin. It only takes a while, but I finish my skewer just before the squid looks pretty cooked. Just perfect, I would say.

"Wow, it really does taste bad," I mutter to myself as I take a bite at my creation.

"What are you doing?"

A light, silky voice flows into my ears much to my surprise. To my right and left are Yukinoshita and Yuigahama whom just crouch next to me.

I take a glance at Yukinoshita, but then quickly switch my target to Yuigahama.

"Hey Yuigahama, want to try my cooking?"

"Heeeh! Of course! Itadakimasu!" As I raise my plate up next to Yuigahama, she enthusiastically picks up a piece of squid soaked in a viscous golden liquid. I can see it so clearly, the transition of her face from being brighter than the sun to being full of absolute terror.

"Hikki, what is this?!" she says while covering her mouth.

"It's squid dipped in honey."

"Wow, it sucks!" Yuigahama pouts.

"I would never have thought that your sense of taste would be so distorted that you could even think of this vile combination," her gentle voice is full of venom like ever.

"It's just an experiment," I retort.

"Playing with food is just as bad," she bounces right back.

There's just no way to win an argument with this girl, isn't it? Not like I care anyway.

"I don't appreciate those who just complain and already think they are better than the thing they complain about. Part of a constructive criticism is providing a better way to do it, you know."

She gives me a somewhat scrutinised look before settling for a light sigh.

"If that is your concern, then I have no problem proving it to you."

Yukinoshita stands up and starts making her way to the ingredients table. As my attention starting to fade away as she is doing her own thing, I turn my gaze towards the ocean once again.

"How's it going, Hikki?" the Yuigahama's catch my attention

"Fine, why you ask?" I answer bluntly.

"Well, seeing you by yourself like that makes us feel kinda bad, so we thought we come and check you out. This is the Service Club's excursion after all."

It feels like you just read off the word 'excursion' in some blog and decided that it was a cool word and now you try to force it into the conversation to sound slightly more profound.

"We don't actually do anything though, except being a nuisance to the public."

Yuigahama sighs

"Somehow I thought the answer is going to be different. Come on~ you shouldn't be too worry about what other people think and just have fun."

Not once in my life have I worried about what other people thinks about me. Well, my life as in my new life as the new Hikigaya, faded by the cruel wheel of fate. I was making a counter-argument against you, Yuigahama.

Suddenly, the brunette squats next to me once again, on top of her palm is a plate, and on top of the plate is various small plastic containers, a plastic spoon, and some wooden picks. Inside one of the containers is a type of dark sauce, while the rest contains various fine ingredients.

"Can you please hold this for me, Yui-san?" she says.

"G-got it," Yuigahama nervously holds her hands forward.

After fixing me a determined glance, Yukinoshita starts working with the ingredient.

"Store-bought ponzu sauce... finely chopped garlic… red pepper… lemongrass," she lists off the name of the ingredients as she pours them into the sauce. "This should go well with the mussels which should be ready to eat now."

The thing with Yukinoshita is that no matter what argument she may have, she can always back it up. I'm not exactly complaining, as a matter of fact, I actually like that aspect of her.

"…"

I… like her?

I pick up the mussels with a tong and put them on a paper plate.

I should like her… right?

"Ouch!"

My hand recoils back after touching the shell. It's still way hotter than I thought.

"Be careful Hikki!" Yuigahama gasps while Yukinoshita's lips are agape.

"I'm fine…" I say while reaching for my can of MAX Coffee. Luckily, the coldness of the can still hasn't all diminished. It soothes my fingers somehow.

Yukinoshita makes an audible sigh. For some reasons, I feel a bit mortified. She takes one of the wooden picks and slips it through the crack of the shell, gives it a few nudges. She drowns the mussel meat in the sauce that she just mixed beforehand before raising it up to my mouth levels.

"Here," her eyes somewhat avoid me.

"You mean…" I utter, a tingling sensation runs through my body.

"Since your hands are all occupied, I'll give you one."

Suddenly my mouth freezes. Come on, it's not hard to say a few words.

"I-Itadakimasu…" I stutter.

Any scientist out there, can you please explain to me why food fed by another person takes a million times better than normal? Especially coming from a girl like Yukinoshita. I don't think it's possible to not fall a teensy bit in love with her like this.

But… is it enough?

My feelings, for Yukinoshita, what can it all mean?

Is she really the one for me?

Maybe it's for the best? My best, her best... _her_ best?

… If this feeling is actually… genuine.

My eye fixates on the girl with long flowing hair, on her elegant eyelashes that flutter a couple of times, on those eyes that are as glistening as a cloudless night sky. Why shouldn't these feeling be genuine? Why couldn't it be? She is everything I can ever ask for.

"You vile gaze is making me uncomfortable," she turns her chest away from me, her cheeks are slightly flustered, "please cease your behaviour immediately."

"Ah-uh… my bad."

As if the devil just whispered into my ears, I'm compelled to turn my head around me and take a look. On the other side of the tent is a hectic scene. Hayama is reluctantly biting off a piece of meat off a skewer held by a certain blonde hair, while Tobe on the side is howling like an animal. I don't feel so good. Is it because of the food?

Yukinoshita is beautiful in every way imaginable, her picture is seemingly too perfect. But moments to moments, I find myself stealing a glance at the other girl, not just because of her… eh, fuller figure in certain areas. To think that girl is my childhood friend is just simply inconceivable. She just doesn't look like a childhood friend kind of girls like in all manga and anime. She looks like the type of girl that is all about looks and herself, vain and doesn't care about others. She's beautiful but it's just a superficial type of beauty, a promiscuous beauty, a beauty that unsettles men around her; while Yukinoshita is true beauty, a beauty to be admired, a sophisticated beauty that shines upon a soulless dark night.

A girl like Yukinoshita is likely to be the main heroine of her story, while a girl like her will become an antagonist, a joke, a prime example of why superficial beauty is to be ridiculed.

She's the girl who is made to become the villain. Yukinoshita is the heroine of every man's story, the true ending of all.

But is it how it should be?

To think that I despise people who wear fake masks to face society, but I fail to realise that society also place a mask on every single one of us, and hypocritically, I was once one of that society.

I clench my fist, the crime of Hikigaya Hachiman is becoming more and more exposed. There is no turning back now.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25: The loner you saw that day**

Late Night. Beach House. Hachiman's Room.

"Man, I'm beat…" Tobe makes a loud grunt as he's squirming on the bed like a dehydrated tapeworm.

If only you didn't spend the rest of the day jumping and howling around like a lunatic then maybe you wouldn't be exhausted right now. Maybe you should acquire one of my Hachiman's skills. With my energy conservation, I can survive with only one meal a day if I really desire.

But here we are, just venturing into the midst of midnight. Luckily, today activities were intense enough for the group to not try to exert themselves into the night. Bless the goddess, I really do need some down time right now after being stuck with them for seemingly like an eternity.

"Yo, what's that?" Tobe says as he's eyeing down the little piece of the device that I'm playing with.

"A Nintendo Swap," I reply, keeping my eyes on the screen.

"Cool! You really keep up with the trend, huh, Hikitani?"

Sure.

"But seriously, how can you focus on games when there are all these babes around?"

"Technically, they are not here, and not like it matters anyway."

"Well! I really hope that I can get away with a girlfriend after this trip."

"Is that your real motive?" for some reason, my curiosity gets the best of me.

"No shit, man. I mean, the beach is nice but it's only a bonus."

Tobe turns sideways on his mattress pillaring his head on his right forearm. He looks at me with a childlike wonder:

"Hey, might as well ask for your opinion. Who do you think I can have the best shot with?"

"Didn't you like Ebina?" I say, while still fixating at my screen.

"Well, she did reject me. But since Yumiko has a boyfriend now, she may actually consider looking for someone now. I think I can definitely have a shot!"

"There you go."

"That's what the other guys said, too. But I'm not stupid, you know. What if she's still not looking for someone, I gotta have some sort of back up."

I look up, silently lamenting inside my head over the price that I had to pay.

"You can always go for Haruno," I reply half-heartedly.

"EGH!" Tobe gasps. "Give me a break, man. I don't think I can handle her. But now that you mention it, hey, tell me, are you guys close?"

"Not at all."

"Really? But the way you talk and address to her, man."

"It's really less about closeness but more about I don't have respect for her."

"Wow… heavy. What's going on between you two?"

I decide not to respond.

Finally, some quiet time. Now I can finally focus on my adventure. What is that interesting colosseum over there?

But then I hear a sigh from the bed next to me.

"Fine, whatever. Anyway, back to the topic. What about Iroha? Do you think I can have a shot with her?"

"Not a chance," I blurt out. For some reasons, the thought of it makes me uncomfortable. I retort back to him without thinking.

"I don't think I can do anything to Kotomi-chan since Yumiko will definitely kill me," Tobe seems to lament to himself. "Hey, Hikitani…"

His sudden pleading tone makes me turn my gaze toward him. Tobe clasps his two hands together in a praying fashion, shows off his cheeky smile and his winky face:

"Is it ok if I get with Komachi-chan?"

"If you somehow successfully convince her to go out with you, I might actually have to get a real job and save up some money…"

Tobe dumb face is filled with delight.

"Man, you don't have to do that, man! I can handle it on my own, don't you have to worry!"

"I will save a lot of money. I will buy a cheap second-hand laptop. Then, I will go on the dark web and hire the best assassin money can buy, and I will kill you."

I fire at him one last of my glance and see his smile turned upside down.

"Man, there aren't actually a lot of options out there," Tobe turns his back against the bed as he's lamenting to himself.

But I haven't finished talking yet.

"Hey," I call out, softly.

"'Sup?" resting his head on his arms, Tobe stares dreamily at the ceiling.

"What about me? Who do you think I'm good with?" I mutter.

"Man, just go with Yukino, man. You know you want it," he replies almost instantly.

"..."

An absolutely blunt statement. Tobe seems to think the same way. Is it because of his own intuition or because he was influenced by Hayama? I have no clue. Actually, it doesn't matter at this point. The man has already had that thought in mind.

"I'm won't tell you if you can or cannot. I believe anything can happen. If you can make it happen, make it happen. You two are pretty alike in a lot of areas, personality for a start."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah man, go for it," he says.

Such encouraging words, yet my mood sinks down like a rock. The screen in front of me becomes blurry, I can no longer focus on the task in front of me. I need a break, I think to myself. I need a place to let my mind loose, and this place is not here.

I put the console down, get out of the bed and start making my way toward the door.

All the light in the common areas has been shut off except for the faint kitchen light. It's already past midnight so it's nothing out of the usual. Some fresh salty air is what I need. I walk, the patio is my destination. And yet, I was stopped dead in my track by a haunting sight.

The door to the patio is already opened, and through it I can see an intimate, yet unimaginably strange figure. She leans her arms against the railing, eyes gazing out at the glittering dark sky. The night air caresses her flowy locks almost exactly like that night on the windy hillside. I haven't seen her for a long time. That girl out there shares the same appearance as the girl I saw all this afternoon, but she is not the same girl. She is there, alone, with a somber tone on her expression. She's waiting for someone…? She's waiting for someone in my mind, my desire.

And yet, I'm still standing here.

Why am I still standing here?

Why can't I move on?

I move.

I move backward. I walk past her and go back to my room. Every step I take fills me with regrets, and yet I keep taking it.

…

Tomorrow. Afternoon. Seaside Fair.

I'm walking with the group around a seaside fair, or what I like to call a money scamming scheme disguised as fun festival games. Well, that's kind of redundant, as every scam is always disguised as something it's not. The whole group breaks up every now and then, but I mostly just walk behind the Service Club members and watch them participate in games and trying out food.

I look intensely at the brunette, see her flabbergasted expression as she cautiously gulps down a piping hot Takoyaki. Such innocent, carefree expression. She's very beautiful.

"..."

I shake my head, what am I trying to do here? It's obvious, I know. Something just doesn't sit right, a forced self-brainwash. This is just pathetic, to think that I bawled myself out months ago just to do this. The past Hachiman would absolutely murder me. What have I become?

Somehow, the group is back to its full number, and somehow, we all gather under a moderately sized Ferris wheel.

"Yo, are you all thinking about taking the Ferris wheel?" someone says.

"Hell yeah!"

"I mean, you gotta take the Ferris wheel at the festival, right? It's like the one mandatory festival activity."

"True that. But it says here the cabin can only hold two people."

My trance is snapped. Two people? That means I have to pick a person to go with. My eyes darts around looking for my usual scapegoat: Komachi. There she is, the little sister catches my glance and pulls Kotomi closer to her while giving me a mischievous look. That little devil. She definitely won't let me have an easy way out. Tobe? He manages to ask Ebina to go with him. Only then, my gaze hesitantly drifts to the beautiful girl with long flowy dark hair. Her gaze bashfully graces my skin, which makes my heart skips a beat. She's standing there, look as if she's waiting for something. Is this the only path?

"I called dip!"

A pair of hands slams down my shoulder from behind and makes my neck hair all stiff. I frantically turn around only to see the devil herself and her ominous bright smile.

"Hachi-kun is coming with me!" Haruno says.

I look at her with probably a confused and annoyed expression on my face. I honestly don't know how to react.

Yukinoshita is a bit stunned for a short while and so is everyone else, but a short sigh is all she needs to regain her usual composure.

"What are you scheming, nee-san?"

"Don't blame me because you're too slow," Haruno smirks.

Yukinoshita flicks her head away, it takes her a second too late for her to retaliate.

"What nonsense."

I touch my abdomen. A sense of relief is what I feeling, but paradoxically, it's also making me sick.

"Shall we go, Hachi-kun."

Haruno snaps my wrist and drags me toward the Ferris wheel.

…

Silence. Nothing is around except for the cranking of old steel and the muffled voice of the wind. I avoid her the whole way by staring mindlessly into the hollow reddened sky. It doesn't last very long as my eyes slowly give in to the invitation of her tempting, soul-piercing smirk.

"What do you want?" as curiosity finally gets the better of me, I blurt out.

"How about 'The sky is pretty, isn't it, Haru-nee?' Jeez, is this how you open a conversation with the girl you're sharing a Ferris ride with?"

I just narrow my eyes and glares at her.

"Aren't you a bad boy? It's nothing, really. I just want to share a ride with my Hachi-kun."

"Huh," I scoff.

"Although," she looks out into the scenery as her eyebrows lower, her gaze softens and her smile is meek. Staying like that for a while, Haruno glances at me again, "you should really give up on what you're trying to do."

There it is. I'm not exactly surprised myself, although I thought she would be less explicit than that.

"Don't get me wrong," Haruno waves her hand, "I'm not doing this for any personal gain. I'm telling this for your own sake, Hachi-kun."

I don't say anything but use my time to watch her expression. There is not a hint of sarcasm on her face, it's like she actually believes in what she just spews out.

"For my sake…"

"Uh-hm!"

"What a load of shit. Don't come here and blabber thinking that you already know everything."

"Do I not?!" she exclaims. "Well, I know that there was a boy, and that boy liked Yukino…"

"..."

"I'm sure you have noticed, everyone around him saw him and Yukino as an item. They should have been an item, they said. They all secretly vouched for that to happen someday."

"..."

"The problem is, that boy was actually in love with another girl, and not any other girl, a girl that he was not supposed to have any relation with. Never in the public mind that they could even think about them being together. They couldn't even fathom that as a possibility. Plus she was already in a different relationship."

"..."

"He knew that if he went for the girl he truly loved, society would condemn him forever, and would be calling him names. He faced the biggest dilemma he had ever faced. Would he go with what his heart desires, or go with what the society desires?"

"..."

"Am I correct? Except…"

Haruno stares at me with a haunting expression.

"... I wasn't talking about you."

"!"

My eyes widen. This can't be...

"You want the hear the rest of the story?" her voice is soft.

I still haven't been able to say a word. Do I want to hear it? I want it and dread it at the same time, but I'm not actually refusing her advance.

"He went with what his heart desired, and everything backfired spectacularly. Yukino's heart was broken, his heart was broken, the other girl heart was broken. The pressure was simply too much for him to bare. He couldn't anticipate how the vicious the mob could be. Everyone was angry, and he was lost. He became the boy who couldn't love anyone, anymore."

"..."

"An yet slowly he became the man who was loved by everyone, every time, like a twist of cruel fate…"

… But little do everyone know the reasons he becomes the person that he is today, bearing everyone's expectations. Tell me, did you do all that just to compensates for the loss you felt?

"You don't want to become like him, Hachi-kun. I…"

I happen to catch her eyes. Those dampen irises look downward carrying a sliver of sorrow.

"I don't want you to become like him. If you do it, everyone will hate you forever."

"This is not the first time it has happened to me. Do you think that I'm the kind of person who cares about what society thinks of me?"

"Of course not. You're different than him in that aspect. That's why I trust that you won't do it."

"!"

"You see, when faced with a tough choice, human all does one of these two things. They either do the right thing, or lie to themselves that they do the right thing.

Haruno inches closer to me and caresses my cheek, her smile was empathetic:

"I'm sure you're not the type of guys who lie to himself. You are looking for something genuine, after all.

My genuine...

"I know you're a good boy at heart. I'm sure you will do the right thing."

I raise my hand. It is trembling, but I don't care. I, in turn, also run my fingers across her warm cheek.

"Haruno…"

I stare at her frowned eyebrows... her smile that lingers guilt and regrets. It's not a look of just a storyteller.

"The other girl… are you-"

She put her fingers in front of my mouth, her smile is back to its usual cheeky self:

"Shh… I've told you already. I don't like boys who are too smart for their own good."


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26: Morning Star**

Another late night, once again I find myself wandering around the dark and empty hallway. I would be lying if I said I wasn't thinking about yesterday night. I'm not particularly feeling anything, but something in me wants to see whether my chance has totally been lost.

I stop dead in my track. There it is again, a slightly opened door, her standing, or waiting, in silence. My chance hasn't been lost yet.

"..."

And yet I'm still standing here, digging my nails into the flesh of my palm. Chance? What chance? I never have a chance in the begin with. Haruno's word rings in my ears. I'm not the first one who has to go through this situation. His failure, my conscience, everything stacks against what my heart desires. Do the right thing, she said. I already know that, I thought that I already resolved to that, but seeing her like that, I can't help but keep second guessing.

*Bzzz*

I startle. Thank god I never put my phone on ringtone. But who can it be? My mind is trembling with thoughts and fear. I want to be her yet I'm so afraid that it's going to be her at the same time.

Iroha: [Senpai, please meet me in the morning. I have something important I want to talk to you]

I make a silent sigh then quietly retreat back to my room. As for Iroha, I have no reason to refuse her.

…

Early Morning. A seaside coffee shop.

I sit idly at an unfamiliar coffee shop, feeling my body being rocked back forth as if by a phantom ocean wave. The coffee shop has a glass side directly facing the oceans. A few warm rays have just started sipping into the dusky cold horizon. I make a big yawn. This is way too early for my own comfort.

"Morning senpai."

I slowly turn my head rightward only to see a cheerful, unaffected smile from the little junior. The time of the day seems to have no effect on her expression

"Morning," I slur my word as she takes a seat in front of me. "Why pick a time so early?"

"Can't be help," her smile shows a faint sign of guilt. "This is the probably the only time I get to spend some alone time with you. Besides, look at that."

Iroha glances through the glass wall and into the open air next to us. The sun is slowing creeping up the horizon. Its tawny light bleeds through the sky and twinkles on the boundless oceans. My face is slowly being warmed up.

"It's so pretty…" Iroha gasps.

"Yeah."

I'm not so emotionless that I can't at least admire natural beauty. It's actually kind of worth it now that I see it.

Iroha turns back to me: "Let's go order, Senpai~"

The ice cold sweet milk coffee refreshes my mind. I let out an audible sigh as the frosty liquid stings my internal organs, only until now I actually feel like I'm really awake.

The girl sitting in front of me is sipping her drink through a straw, as she gazes tenderly at the rising sun, the namesake of this very country.

We share our drinks in silence. As the light's slowly getting brighter and warmer, I find a bit of comfort at gazing at the innocent looking girl in front of me, seeing her faint smile as she's marveling at the scenery. At times she also catches my glance, but it's ok, I don't really care. I don't really care if I get caught staring at her. I don't really care about making conversation. Sitting here, drinking coffee with my little junior is more than enough of what I need at the moment. Her sight seems to ease the burden on me somehow. It doesn't help that she just smiles back every we exchange glances. That carefree smile only makes me want to stay like this forever.

Because... a gut-wrenching feeling inside me is telling me that this will be the last time we get to be like this.

"Are you not going to say something along the line of 'What do you want?' or something?" Iroha finally speaks up.

"Not really," I reply softly. "I can do this all day if you want."

"Wow, that's new. Usually you always pester me about that kind of stuff."

"Well for once, I don't really need to know. Just you here is enough for me."

"Senpai, isn't that line just super corny?" Iroha narrow her eyes. "What are you doing trying to hit on me? You have some nerve hitting on me now even though you already rejected me."

I make a slight sneer. Her rapid-fire rejection is still there, at least I can count on that.

"Both you and I were not in the right place at that time so it couldn't be helped."

"Actually…" she becomes hesitant, "that's what I want to talk about."

"Hm?"

Iroha brings her hands close her chest and take a deep breath. Abruptly, her head fixates downwards as her flaxen hair drips onto the wooden table.

"I'm sorry," she says.

"You're forgiven," I reply.

"Heh?" she lifts her face back up with a confused expression. "You know what I did?"

"No, but I forgive you."

"Mo, Senpai! I'm trying to be serious here," she pouts.

"So what did you do?"

She flinches a bit. "Well, uh…"

Her posture shrinks and her gaze darts on the table surface:

"I uh… knew about you and Miura-senpai, and I, told Hayama-senpai about it. I'm sorry."

She makes another bow.

"…"

She admits explicitly with her own words, but I can't seem to feel any strong emotion. I can't even say that I'm surprised. Putting the pieces together and knowing Iroha's motive, it would be easy to reach such a conclusion. I just never bothered to settle down and start connecting the dots...

"Do you hate me now?" she whimpers.

"I'm a bit too occupied for that."

Because there's just too much on my mind at the moment. This is definitely the least of my concerns.

"I'm sorry for what you have been through."

"What's good getting angry right now? Throwing blame won't change what already happened," I glance back to the sea.

Truth is, I'm just tired. I'm tired of fighting with my thoughts and conscient, tired of figuring out what's right. Hating is tiring, and don't I want to take in more of it. I have too much of it on myself already.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Really really?"

"Yeah yeah."

She makes a sigh at the at the table.

"I thought it would kinda be more dramatic than this, but I don't know why I expect that knowing you so well, Senpai."

"Well you don't say," I make a little smirk and fold my arms like it's all cool. Despite talking about such personal subject, the atmosphere is surprisingly light.

"So, do you know what are you going to do?"

"About what?"

"You know, about Yukinon-senpai and Miura-senpai."

"Ugh…" I wince. It feels so strange listening to those two words right now.

"Sorry, am I not supposed to ask?"

"No it's fine… It's just that I still don't know what I should do."

"I see. Well, it is a very difficult issue, even for you, Senpai."

"Aren't you going to offer your opinion on the matter?"

"No no!" She awkwardly waves her hands. "I'm sure you got a lot of that already. I don't want to make you feel any more burdened you already are right now."

Hearing such words, I can't help but slam my hands on the table:

"Thank you," I bow.

I did it without thinking. It's been a while since I talk to someone whom doesn't push their expectation on me, and that is enough to overwhelm my emotions.

"Senpai…"

My eyes peek upward and see Iroha's awestruck expression. Her gaze softens as she leans forward and rubs her small slender hand through my hair.

"There there…" her voice is sweet like that of a mother.

Such insolence, but I'm secretly loving every second of it. But at last, good things must come to an end, and such I manage to sit straight up again.

"But you know what, I can at least give you some sort of preparation when the time comes."

"What do you mean?" I say.

"Like confessing," she puts up a finger, "you will most likely have to confess to either of them at some point, so I can at least help you with that."

"How...?"

"Practice, of course, so that you don't choke when you do it for real. You can start by confessing to me first, just think of this as a repayment for all the times you helped me out with the dating stuff."

"I confessed a bunch of times already." A few of them were actually not genuine, though.

"Yeah, but have you ever said something like 'I love you'?"

"N-no."

"Then it's no good, Senpai. Those are the magic words, you can't really wow a girl without them."

"It just feels kinda odd."

"But Senpai~" Iroha pouts, "you hit on me all the times and yet now you decide to back off?!" No, I don't. "Fine, it's your loss. By the way, do you know what's ruder than accepting a gift without thanking the giver? NOT accepting the gift even though they already offers!"

I sigh. I already know what she wants. Those eyes are eager to shoot me down.

"Alright, fine, let's do it."

"Okay~ Go, Senpai."

I sit straight up, hands placed firmly on the table.

"Ehem…" I clear my throat in a dramatic fashion, my gaze puts full focus on the cute devious junior in front of me. "I uh... lo- No…"

After taking another deep breath, I say:

"I love you, Iroha."

I finally say it, it is harder than I thought but somehow also easier than I thought. There you go. Now what kind of snappy quip will you be able to come up with this time, Iroha?

"I love you too, Senpai," with an innocent light smile, she says.

"..."

My fingers curl into a fist.

"Iroha, I-"

She puts her finger in front of my lips while shaking her head.

"You don't have to say anything. I already accepted my punishment."

"..."

I can't say a thing, but no matter what you think, it's not a punishment, Iroha. I would never wish for you to get tangled in this mess.

"But, I do have a question. Say, if both Yukino-senpai and Miura-senpai didn't exist, would you date me?"

"I would," I reply instantly.

"Yaay~" she softly cheers.

I avoid her gaze as I continue. The words I'm about the say makes me want to die, but I feel like this is the least I can do for her.

"To be honest, I always feel that we have some sort strange chemistry together."

"Heh… so I'm not the only one who feels that way. That kinda makes me happy."

"Iroha…"

"Senpai," she calls my name tenderly.

"Why would you do this?"

Suddenly her expression turns mischievous.

"What, Senpai? You seem to think that I'm doing this because of the goodness of my heart. Don't misunderstand, Senpai. Don't you know that only 25% of first-time relationship results in marriage," she puts up her lecturing fingers again. "Besides, in every love triangle stories, the first relationship usually ends first, then the second heroine swoops in and she gets the final ending. All and all, it's actually better for me to just stay out of this mess right now."

I sneer. That's the little devil I know.

"You think I will let you go just like that? You have to give me something in return," she continues.

"What is it, then?"

"Three years."

Iroha extends three fingers in front of me and pauses for a bit, almost like she's trying to let that number sink in.

"If after three years from now on, both of us remain single at that time, then we get together, how about that? Kind of like a safety net, and the best thing is that it benefits both of us."

"Hm. That does seem like a good deal," I smirk.

"So do we have a deal?" Iroha wiggles her pinky. Her smile is cheeky as usual.

I go ahead and lock my pinky with hers. Then suddenly, Iroha leans forwards touches her lips on my cheek.

She leans back and looks at me with bashful twinkling eyes:

"That's the seal."

We both return to our normal postures. Oh dear, there is no way we do not look like some young couple to outsiders right now.

"It's not like I'm secretly hoping for your relationship to fail or anything," Iroha continues, "but I won't try to sabotage, I promise you that."

"That's good to hear."

"Good luck, Senpai," she smiles.

Iroha goes back to smooching on her straw, and I can't help but get distracted by those small pink lips as her wet and warm sensation still lingers on my skin. She peeks at me again, while giggling:

"I'll see you in college."

I enjoy a cup of coffee with Iroha, my cutie foxy and devious junior, while we bathe in the warm sunlight of a brand new day.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27: Into the Night**

Midnight.

Am I too late? Has this gone far enough? Is my love still strong? So much time has passed, has my emotion gone dull? Did I got stuck in rut, with seemingly nowhere to run away? Is my feeling for her still the same, or has it all gone? Maybe not all gone, but my previous passion might have been lost.

What am I saying? Rambling, no more no less, but what should I do instead?

Third night I find myself in the darkened living room, third night I went out with no practical reason, third night I stop and stare at the slight gap to the patio, at her flowing golden locks.

I wince my eyes like I'm about to cry, but no tear is coming out. If I could cry and everything would be solved, I would cry a river. I have taken several deep breaths already, but no matter what, my body doesn't seem to be ready yet.

Ready for what? I don't have to do anything. It's true that my mind has somewhat been made up, but as we are now, it doesn't feel like there is a proper closure. That's the least I should give to her.

It's the third night already. Every day my chance becomes smaller and smaller, and maybe, after this trip, we will never be this close again. And even if we somehow run into each other somewhere in the future, it would be just like this, filled with nothing but withheld and regretful silence.

I never want to feel this way, I never want her to feel this way. That is why, I must let her know…

 _So go._

Let us have a proper closure.

 _So go._

Let us part with no regret, no leftover baggage.

 _Go!_

Another deep breath. No good, there are too many thoughts in mind, they are preventing from moving onward. Screaming voice, terrifying voice, all the possible worst-case scenarios, all the possible miracle outcomes, they are clouding my sight.

Don't think, I think to myself. Every breath is like a valve expelling my thoughts, but new thoughts just keep surging in over and over. The final barrier is nothing but myself.

One step. Don't think, just walk. You don't have a purpose, Hachiman, just walk. You are nothing doing anything, Hachiman, you are just walking. Just walking, just walking toward a destination, walking all the way, walking almost there.

The sudden creek of the patio door awakes me from my self-hypnotising trance. Everything around me changes. Breezy summer air grazes my skin, the imprisoning darkness paves way for the faint glow of the bright full moon, the open chanting wind and ocean waves replace the lonely silence. But the most important thing of all, we finally meet eyes.

And then, I no longer know what to do. Those green eyes are paralysing. I have seen them many times during the day, but those eyes looking directly at me like that is something that I haven't received for a long time.

With her lips slightly agape and her stiff pose, she stares back at me without saying anything. At least I'm not the only one frozen up.

Her posture shrinks a bit as she's giving me a hesitating sideway glance. Should I say anything? Sooner or later I will have to say something, but the first word, just like the first step, is always the hardest.

I move my body, making her a bit startled. I walk toward the railing and lean my body against it just like her before. I put my face toward the moon, praying that its light would purify my mind somehow.

We still haven't said a word, but the atmosphere is not that awkward. My raging heart has started to sooth somehow, and maybe then I can finally open my mouth.

I feel the cool summer wind under the skin, glance to the side to see that she does the same thing. She breathes wearily in the air, almost like she is also getting ready herself.

All right, here goes. My first word, after such a long time.

"..."

Crap. What is going on? That's not good. That's… unsatisfactory. My eyes can't seem to be still, they keep checking and trying to gauge her expression, but she seems to be just minding her business. Be calm, Hachiman, let's try that again.

"Hey."

!

I said 'hey', but it's not the only 'hey' out there. A sudden turn of her neck, she said the same word I did at the same time.

"My bad!"

!

Again?! In almost perfect unison, nonetheless. Ok, gotta be quick this time.

"You go first!"

!

This is ridiculous. I finally mustered enough will to say something and this is why I get. Not good, my will to speak is fading out again.

But then, something happens. Her body shimmers as she busts out a chuckle, and my heart was floored. It's been so long that everything feels like the first time all over again, and this time, the first time she gives me a heartening smile.

"So stupid~" she remarks while still trying to regain her composure. Seeing her like that must have put a stupid smirk on my face, too.

"First time it ever happens to me," I respond. Finally, a proper, uninterrupted sentence. This is good, Hachiman, keep it rolling.

Her body has begun to calm, but amazingly, her smile still lingers. It's somewhat relieving that she is at least in a good mood now.

But, what do I say next? Oh, that, or that?

"What's up with you recently?" she starts with a casual opening.

"Pretty terrible," I say it as it is. There is no point hiding from her.

"Me too," she says it with a nonchalant smile.

Me… too? What do you mean? Are you also feeling bad? Why are you feeling bad? The thought of it makes me uneasy, a sense of guilt is crawling on my back. Could you have felt the same as I am? You couldn't have. Didn't you already make your choice, and now I'm going to announce mine.

Her face turns back to the sea again as her eyes wander about, but it doesn't look like they are looking at the sight in front.

"This reminds me of back then. Our families used to go to the beach every summer, and we would play on the patio like this."

I can't say anything. Do I say yes? Do I even have the right to say yes, even just to make her happy? The image she speaks of is nothing but a blur inside my head. I can't tell her that I remember.

"Do you remember?" she turns to me.

I avoid her gaze, I stare at the dirt that reminds me of myself.

"That's ok," her voice is soft and hollow. "Actually, I think it's better this way. It's just the past, no big deal."

Her words are taking me apart.

"Sorry."

She simply shakes her head.

Silence falls on us again, but this time it fills with awkwardness. The conversation was cut off, and there was nothing I could do to save it.

I guess this is high time to finally tell her what I want to say in the first place. I guess this is the best time I can ever have. I guess…

So aren't you going to do it?

Why am I still not saying anything?

"Hey, you like Yukinoshita, right?" her voice is as soft as the wind.

"..."

It is me, Hikigaya Hachiman, bewildered on an empty patio. To be honest, it's not actually empty, as I'm standing with another person, a person that I should never be alone with. Her muted green irises pierce into my soul, asking for the final judgement. In front of me is no other than Hayama's girlfriend, Miura Yumiko.

"Well…" I stutter, "I don't actually hate her, I guess."

She chuckles:

"What kind half-assed answer is that?"

"I don't think it's important right now."

"Normally that would be the truth, but this time it's different."

What do I want to tell her? It's something I cannot live without. It's the one thing that keeps me going, and I can't bear to throw it away.

"Look, if you really like her, you should go and get her, got it?"

I look back at her, my eyes are staring. I couldn't believe what I just hear. Even you?

Hikigaya Hachiman, I thought you were the kind of person that would never let society dictate your action. And yet right now, you are on that very verge. Where is the man that did the thing that made everyone in school hate him, without even a second thought? Where is that man?

You see, up until now, Hikigaya Hachiman has operated under one principle.

But first, let me ask you a question? Do you believe "selflessness" exist?

What do you mean? Of course they exist. As cynical as one can be, there is still tons of examples of pure, good-hearted people, people who have devoted their entire lives to helping the unfortunate, to charity, people who even sacrifice their very lives to save others. Surely that's selflessness.

But is it? Are they truly doing those things not for themselves? Even if a man dives into a roaring river to save a drowning child and dies in the process, would that be selflessness? We will never know if he is already near the verge of death, be it biologically or psychologically, and to him, death might just be nothing but his sweet release. And even though his final judgement is only seconds away, but in those last seconds, his conscience is now free and truly fulfilled from the act of saving that child.

When your desires coincide with others' desires, it is selflessness.

Social suicide, that's what they all said about my actions. But it doesn't matter even if everyone hates me, it doesn't matter if everyone resents me, as long as there is one person that believes in me.

As long as Hikigaya Hachiman believes that he does the right thing, nothing else matters. This is the only way Hikigaya Hachiman can prove his worth, through his sacrifices, and that his sacrifices will eventually contribute to the greater good. That's what Haruno tried to tell me.

This is why, I cannot do this. Because not even Hikigaya Hachiman can believe it is the right thing. He is too aware to be lied into believing that it is the right thing. And that is why, it has to end.

"..."

She said the very thing that I wanted to say, and yet, my heart…

Feels so much pain.

"Why do you care about me and Yukinoshita together?" my voice is hollow.

"Because-"

She glances away from me.

"If you are taken, my feeling will…" she speaks with a soft, airy voice.

She looks like she just snaps out of her trance.

"I mean, you guys look good together, everybody says that," her voice is somewhat light. "You shouldn't be bothered with someone like me."

My fingers curl into a fist, my teeth grind into each other to hold back the scream.

Am I actually enjoying this?

Does the satisfaction of "doing the right thing" outweigh letting her get away?

 _Does it?_

But this is who I am, I must do the right thing. If I don't, then what worth do I have? A loner with no friend, no relationship, and the one that everyone resents.

She stands up and turns her body directly to me, arms locked together behind her back. She looks at me with a faint smile and limp eyebrows:

"You know that novel that you introduced me? I actually read it, and the main girl really feels like Yukinoshita. That's when I thought that maybe, Yukinoshita is better suited to you."

What are you saying?

"She is the main girl, you should be with her and not a girl like me. I'm just a bitch," her solemn voice echoes off the ground.

My fist is shaking.

What are you saying? Aren't you the Queen Bee? The proud, uncaring, always full of herself girl in everyone's eyes just said that. She is not the same girl that strolled about earlier in the day. Where is that girl?

I should know the answer. It's dangling in front of me. It's the very thing that I hate about society, that everyone lies to themselves, tries to reshape themselves just to fit in. As the results, they put on a mask to hide their fragile selves.

That proud girl, that uncaring girl, is nothing less of that.

And this girl in front of me, who is she?

Who is she…?

The girl that you have stopped acknowledge, the girl that you pretend never existed. Because if you do, you cannot stop chasing her.

 _Say it._

"Miyu."

The girl becomes a bit startled at the sound of my voice. Her eyes darts around, she can't seem to find the right reaction.

"You're right," I say, "you really are a bitch."

Miyu gives me a split-second stare before averting her eyes away, looking a bit downtrodden.

A spiral of self-hatred, is what I have been indulging. Too indulged in it that I forget there is someone else who is the same as me. It struck me so mind-numbingly that a girl like her can even say something like that.

"That's why… I think we will fit each other nicely."

"H...huh?" her voice is mixed with reservation and confusion.

I take a take a step towards her. Her body suddenly becomes tense.

"Miyu, I'm about to do something unforgivable, but if you truly don't want it, you can stop me. Actually, I trust it in your hands to stop me."

"Heh?"

One, two, three. I take those steps forward, while Miyu nervously takes two steps back. I'm getting closer to her, but she's also keeping her distance, but not for long.

Her body jerks up as her back hits the cold hard wall. She's frantically looking around, occasionally stealing glances at me.

"What are you doing…?" she cries.

My body, my face, I slowly, shakingly, move them toward her, as my voice cries out:

"Stop me."

"S-..stop," her voice is trembling.

Miyu extends her hand outward, I quickly lock her fingers with mine and effortlessly push it back against the wall. She's not even trying.

"That's not good enough," I say.

My eyes focus on her only. I can see her everything, her green irises shimmering under the moonlight, her faintly glowing golden locks, her poppy fragrance that carves into my soul, the hypnotising, electric rhythm of her chest, her plum, wet lips, her breath grazing on my mouth.

"Please stop me," I say.

"No~" Miyu whimpers. A thin string of liquid runs along her lower eyelid.

I stop. I keep staring at her. Honestly, I would be fine staring at her forever. She finally gives up darting around and gazes back, those eyes like of a hurt animal.

"Stop me," I repeat myself.

"Hikio~"

"Stop me," my voice gets weaker as I move closer and closer.

"Hikio~" her voice gets weaker as well.

"Stop me," I whisper, as my vision gets darker and darker.

"Hikio~" Miyu whispers, as her eyelids start to close off.

A soft sensation presses on my lips, my nose sweeps on her soft skin. Tears are oozing out of my eyes. I can't help it. Her chest gently touches mine, but it is enough for us to sense each other's frenzy heartbeats. She is so warm. Every inch of my skin is tingling.

I slowly open my eyes and see hers. They are just slightly closed, but they are shaking. Tears are streaming down her face as well, I can almost feel its wetness on my cheek.

I press her hand hard against the wall, not because I mean to, but because my knees are giving in. That wall is the strongest support I have right now. And my breath, it is starting to run out.

Our lips separate, and both of us instantly gasp for air. Our breaths take turns caressing the other's face, while our nose gently rubs against each other. Miyu locks eyes with me, those eyes like of a pouting child. Her cheeks are fully blushed.

I let go of her hands, I must have hurt her pretty bad back then. I really didn't mean to.

"Why are you doing this?" she cries.

I don't say anything. Keeping my intense look on her, I wipe her tears off my thumb.

"Idiot~" Miyu continues to berate me as I move on to the other cheek. The skin on her face is soft and smooth.

Then her expression changes. I almost feel like she's going to lash out at me before both her arms grab around my neck, she assaults me with her lips and so does her chest. But the sudden attack plus my weakened knees means that I can no longer hold on. We both fall to the ground, I manage to keep my head up, but her body rubs violently against mine.

"Are you ok?!" she gasps.

"I'm fi-"

Miyu kisses me again, doesn't even wait for me to finish. I lay on the floor, seeing the bright full moon eclipsed by her burning figure. There is nothing I can do. There is nothing else I want to do. I have crossed the line.

Hikigaya Hachiman is a loner. He is fed up with this fake world, he can see through the masks that everyone wears just to fit in, just to find a place in their crazy world. Society rejected him, and in turns, he rejected it as well. But despite that, he sacrificed everything he had just for that society, just so nobody had to face what he had to face.

"Hikio~"

But unfortunately, that is also just a mask that he wears, to find a place in his world in his own way. He adorned the mask of the misunderstood hero, that's the only role he was good for.

"Miyu."

He said that he wanted something genuine. He tried to see it for what it was. Every time he formed a relationship, he asked: 'Is it actually genuine?' Paradoxically, the very act of asking that question ensured that he would never to find true genuine.

Lips are shaping, tongues are twirling, liquid is flowing.

"Hikio~"

Well, you know what?

I don't give a shit anymore.

What is my purpose? Who am I supposed to be? Is this the right thing to do? Is this actually genuine? Am I just lying to myself to justify myself, even right at this moment? I no longer care about any of those things. The only thing I care about is the girl in front of me. The only question I need to answer is…

Do I love her?

"Miyu."

And that is enough.

And if the only way to love you is to become truly, utterly, deplorable, then I will throw it away. If you are bad, then I am evil, too.

And so I succumb into the darkness, succumb to her burning breaths and her boiling tears. I indulge in this sinful pleasure like there is no tomorrow, because I know, there is no longer tomorrow for us. We kiss and kiss and kiss, our tears can't stop flowing as we share our last apple in Eden. My fate has already sealed.

Her shaking arms stand on my shoulder, as her moonlit tears splat on my cheek. We look at each other intensely.

But then I hear a strange noise, and Miyu's expression quickly turns pale.

Holding onto the door frame, is a silent girl with long night-coloured hair…


	28. Chapter 28

"Hello, my name is Miura Kotomi. In case you forget, I am Yumiko nee's little sister. You may have been wondering why it's been a long time since I last talked to you guys. Well let's just say that a lot of things have happened recently, and I got carried away with all the things happened with Onii-chan. But don't worry, I am back now, and hopefully with greater and better fan-service~!"

"What are you doing?" I ask, don't bother to lift my gaze off the novel I'm reading.

The beach trip ended, and once again I'm back safe and sound in my room. Currently, I'm sitting on my bed leaning against the wall, partly because Kotomi stole my chair again. Oh, Komachi is also in my room too, playing with my Swit-chan. What the hell, since when did my room become your hangout base?

"Sometimes I like to imagine that I'm a character in a manga or light novel or something. So right now I'm breaking the 4th wall obviously."

That's a whole different level of eight-grader syndrome. How severe are you right now? Most definitely stage 4.

"Anyway, don't worry and about me. You should worry about you instead."

I gulp and try to throw at her one of my annoyed faces, but the twin-tail little sister nonchalantly jumps on my bed and crawls towards me.

"Looks like you got yourself in quite a bind this time." Her mischievous smile was so close that I can feel her breath grazing on my face.

"As usual for my pathetic onii-chan," Komachi joins in.

I sigh and hug my head. Everything went wildly out of control at the end. I was so ready to give up on Miyu, but at that last minute, I decided to give up everything but her instead. I knew that I have to face Yukinoshita someday, but not even for a million years I thought would ever receive such a reaction from her.

"Yukinon-senpai definitely threw you a curve ball there," Kotomi says. "I bet you were thinking of something cliche like, 'I can't believe you did to me, you jerk! After all these times, has nothing between us ever meant anything to you? What about your promise to me?!' Then Yukino-senpai ran away with tears flying behind her."

"Well, not that cliche, but yes, something along that line."

"Tch, tch, onii-chan. You underestimated her."

"Whatever." Why are you so smug about it anyway? This is not even your doing.

But the memories of the night starts flowing back.

Even now, I still can't believe that I did all that.

Even though, I already knew the price I had to pay.

Even so, I made a decision that I wouldn't regret.

Even if, I failed to become who I wanted to be.

…

 _Night._

 _The sky was twinkling with stars, the waves were bellowing at a calming rhythm, the wind was howling, bringing the salty taste of the sea. But salty was the also taste inside my lips, for it was filled with tears, tears of joy, tears of sadness, tears of regrets, tears of fears. Miura and I were kissing for how many minutes I had lost count, the torrents of emotions inside our chests whirled like a storm of pain and pleasure._

 _But then it was stopped._

 _It was stopped by silent shadow creeping up the sliding door, standing frozen and cold as ice. Her night-coloured hair waved gently, glimmered under the silver moon, beautiful as she was, yet an ominous silence fell upon all of us. Light escaped her eyes, and the only thing she could manage to mutter after a long deafening hush..._

 _"Why?" There was no anger in her voice, which terrified me even more._

 _Miyu and I stood up, but Miyu got close to me and grab my shirts._

 _"It is how it is. You are not the only with hidden history. My relationship with Hikio goes way back longer than you or Yuigahama," she said with a sharp tone._

 _"Silent you harlot," Yukinoshita said quickly._

 _"What did-!"_

 _I waved my hand at Miyu, which prompted her to stop. It's ok, Miyu. This was not your battle, and this was not your problem. The problem was mine and all mine alone, and I would face it, as I was ready for it._

 _Don't hold your punches, Yukinoshita, figuratively, or literally._

 _"Hikigaya-kun, do you remember the first day we meet?"_

 _There's no way I could forget that._

 _"You were so pessimistic, so nihilistic that I was so crept out. You were so adamant about not changing yourself, saying that doing such a thing was no different than running away. I thought it was a ridiculous argument, a mental gymnastics for a rotten individual. I thought, if I could change, I could fix the things that I have wronged in the past."_

 _She took a step closer to me._

 _"And I was right in the end," she said._

 _"And yet, despite all that. Despite all the things that you said, despite all the things that I said..."_

 _Yukinoshita took another step closer to me. Her eyelids fluttered, and her tears glistened like soft diamonds, warm but hauntingly cold._

 _"In the end, you are the one who changed, that makes you a hypocrite. But above all that, I still remain unchanged, which makes me a bigger hypocrite. And because of that, the same thing happened to me again!"_

 _Yukioshita cried with her trembling voice. Her body shook uncontrollably at the forcing of her tears. I would rather be stabbed in the heart right now than having to witness this. A part of me just wanted to lunge forward and embrace that shaking figure in front of me, but I knew full well that I did not deserve such luxury._

 _"I should have realised it sooner, that day when you told us your request. I should have realised what length you were willing to go for your ideal. Tell me, Hikigaya-kun. Is this 'genuine' you were seeking for?_

 _I did not say anything. I was not capable of speech right now. I could only deliver my thought through my expression right now. In my heart, I know that Yukinoshita would be able to see it._

 _"I see. I was the one who was weak. I was the one who retreated back to my shell when things went awry. I kept on playing it safe, I was the one desperately tried to retain my image. But Hikigaya-kun, now I know who you really are now."_

 _Yukinoshita grabbed my collars. She pushed me back a few steps, and my back slammed against the balcony railings. I did not falter, but I didn't try to fight back._

 _"You are just as rotten as I once thought, no, even more. You're a selfish, despicable individual who can only think for himself. You hate people for acting, but you are the biggest actor of them all."_

 _Her grip tightened, but shaken by her still flowing tears._

 _"I hate it so much. I hate being bound by others' expectations, but even worse than that, by my own. I put my trust in him. I thought he would be to throw it away for me, I thought that he would be able to protect me from the prejudices of others. But he couldn't do that, like me, he was crushed by his own expectations."_

 _Yukinoshita stared at me, she showed me a pitiful smile._

 _"That's who I really am. I am a perfect girl who was cursed by talents, a flower in a mirror, beautiful but untouchable. That's what I feel about myself deep down. I want someone to protect me, I want people to sacrifice for me so that I can lay comfortably on my throne. I made Hayama do it once, and I have made you do it many times, and even Yuigahama."_

 _Tears were flowing down her palely lit face in two thin streams like silver. Her face was as beautiful as it had ever been, but never before had it looked so withered and faded._

 _"I'm a terrible girl, aren't I? This is what's coming for me, for sleeping, for idling, for waiting to be spoonfed everything to me. But..."_

 _Her head drooped down._

 _"I finally figured it out. That is why..."_

 _With force, she pulled my collar closer, and then I felt it, her soft lips pressing against mine, thin and wet and salty, like the string tying our fates, like the lust seeping out of our bodies, like the bitterness of our circumstances. What in the world?! Her arms wrapped around my neck, slender as they were, but she held on so tightly._

 _I broke away and met her gaze, she stared at me with eyes of pure love._

 _"I don't care anymore. I'm tired of waiting, I'm tired of playing the good girl. You're a terrible man, Hikigaya-kun, but I'm terrible too, so we are the perfect match. I'm selfish just like you, I'm self-absorbed just like you, and I am stubborn just like you."_

 _"Yukinoshita," I utter, I didn't know why I wanted to say her name. I must have known, but I didn't want to think about it._

 _Yukinoshita moved even closer to me. I tried to back off, not realising that I already hit the railings. I tripped, and fell, and I landed on my ass. She climbed onto me, her smooth flowing hair grazed on my chest, almost felt like it was coiling and tightening around my body like snakes._

 _"Must I say it for you to realise it, Hikigaya-kun?" Yukinoshita smiled at me with those darkened irises sparkled with tears, a smile that was unlike anything I have seen before. It was not a joyous smile, nor it was a sorrowful one, it was almost broken, dreaded, dark, and yet deep beneath all that, it was free. "But l love you, Hikigaya-kun. Hikigaya-kun, I love you. I love love you, I love you so much, I'll love you until the end of the earth. And you will love me too, and you will give your love to me, and we will run away if we have to, and we will live together in harmony, and our children will be the most gifted ones that will ever grace the earth. Isn't that right, Hikigaya-kun?"_

 _But before I have a chance to say anything, another figure pushed Yukinoshita aside. Her golden locks shone under the moonlight, as if for a short instant, I caught a warm glimpse of the far set sun._

 _"Hey! Stop that! Hikio kissed me first! He declared his love to me. You're too late."_

 _"A crude girl like you can never understand my Hikigaya-kun's feeling. I am the one who could give the love he wanted. Isn't that right, Hikigaya-kun?"_

 _"Huh? You just gonna drag him down with your moodiness, and he's already moody enough as he is. Look what happened when he was with you, and look what happened when he was with me. He became better, he made more friends. Hikio needs someone who can take of him, not some damaged princess. Right, Hikio?"_

 _"Wait-" Wait wait wait! This was not the scenario I had in mind. What in the world was going on right now?_

 _On my left, there was Yukinoshita. On my right, there was Miyu. They both crawled toward me, their claws clasped tightly onto my body._

 _"I am your obvious choice, Hikigaya-kun," Yukinoshita said, smiling deadlily._

 _"I'm not gonna let your forget our kiss, Hikio!" Miyu said, pouting determinedly._

 _And so my summer vacation ended on a completely unexpected note. Needless to say, my life from now on will never be the same again._

...

"So that's what happened," Kotomi said.

"Uuuuhh..." I groaned.

"What'cha gonna do now?" said Kotomi.

"I'm still thinking about it."

"Tch tch, Onii-chan, I'm sure you're already thinking about it. You just don't want to say it, do you? Well then, let me say it for you."

Kotomi stands on the bed and throws her arms up high. She yells up at the ceiling:

"Harem of course!"

Don't stand on the bed!

"Are you a moron? This is not a manga. Actually, it doesn't even work in manga. Harem series always end up with a mess and a disappointing ending."

"Tch tch, Onii-chan." Can you stop that, it's starting to get annoying. "Most series, but not all. Do you know what the downfall of most harem series is?"

"Unrealistic situations, unrealistic characters-"

"I mean not that. Who reads mangas for realism anyway? What I'm saying is, it's true that most harem series kind of slowly becoming a mess of relationships and conflicts, but only because they lack one thing."

"Huh?"

"There are many heroines in a harem, and they fall in many archetypes. Tsundere, Yandere, Kuudere, Genki, etc., but for a harem to succeed, there is a brand new archetype of heroine that needs to be included."

"And that is..."

"Harem Manager!"

"The hell is that?"

"A heroine who is ok with a harem, who is willing to assist building a harem for the protagonist, kinda like M*mo from To-L***-Ru. A harem will be better received if a Harem Manager archetype exists," Kotomi rubs her shoulder against mine while smiling smugly.

"And who might that be?" I ask.

"Mo... Onii-chan, if you so insist, well I guess I can be your Harem Manager."

Don't say like it's an actual job.

I smile. As idiotic her idea may sound, I know she just wants to help me. Despite all the things that I have done, despite knowing terrible I really am, you are still there for me, you and Komachi. I feel sorry for Komachi because she has to stick with a brother like me, but you don't have anything attached, so why? Why would you still help after all this time?

"That's easy," Kotomi says, then turns at the screen, "It's so that I can be best-girl of course!" she winks and gives a thumbs-up.

"Who are you talking to?" I face the same direction she's looking at. There is nothing but a wall there.

"I told you, didn't I? I like to imagine myself as a character in a manga or anime. And every manga or anime always has poll about who is the best girl, right? so I'm aiming for that."

I facepalm myself. There's no saving her now, or perhaps she doesn't need saving after all.

"So what say you, Onii-chan. All you need is to give the ok, and we will devise the Harem Masterplan."

Utterly absurd, absolutely stupid. No self-respecting, law-abiding, upstanding citizen of the great Earth would ever agree to such a plan. But here is the thing. Hikigaya Hachiman is...

...no longer a good person.


End file.
